Hayi sometimes wondered how things would pan out if she was no longer alive.

She was not suicidal by any means, it wasn’t a frequent habit to think of such bleak matters. It was just that life was not always kind to everyone, there could be occasions where hardship was never an isolated singular part that happened now and again but plagued people’s lives on a daily basis. Sometimes, she wished she could give her good health to people who needed it most. That was definitely sometimes that was taken advantage of.

The auburn haired girl wasn’t the worst off.  She was fortunate enough to have a roof over her head, food on the table and money to pay the bills on time. However, there were times when she struggled and was close to nearly not being able to pay her rent on time. That was not the kind of situation you would normally find a high school student in, the majority if not all were living with their families because how else could a young girl be able to pay off her debts without going homeless within a month or so?

There was a drawn out pause. “…Hayi-ah…have you been looking after yourself?”

The girl in question finally brought herself to look at her father in the eye as she nodded her head slowly. She could see that he was trying to reach out weakly and did not hesitate to grab his hand, he grazed his thumb over her nimble fingers gently.

“I’m sorry Hayi-ah…”

She shook her head, her gaze softened. “You don’t have to apologise. It’s not your fault.”

This wasn’t the first time he spoke of being remorseful. He uttered the same words over and over again each time she saw him, she could practically see the guilt eating him up inside.

He smiled for a second or two. “You’re the exact opposite of your mother, she would have blamed me.”

The teenager scoffed, shaking her head. “Sometimes I wonder why you ever got married, you were arguing all the time.” Her father released a sigh.

“If you can believe it, that’s how we have always been. She had such fire within her, I was just drawn to it.” He paused to wink at her. “Though, I have to admit that sometimes she has the worst temper I have the displeasure of been on the receiving end of.”

Hayi let out a breathy laugh and suddenly it felt like old times once again, like how it should be. It was moments like this that gave her a sense of how families were normally like, the kind of strong bonds that were shared between close relations. If only she could control time, then she would remain in this spot forever.

But that’s when she’s reminded on the cold and harsh reality of life. Because it can never go back to how things used to be, that was impossible.

“Five minutes left of visiting hours.” The ward nurse called out to the room before returning back to her duties.

She could already feel tears clouding her eyes. Every time seemed to zoom past by without even giving her a chance to settle and take a moment to prepare herself. She wasn’t ready to leave his side, she wanted him back home when he belonged.

But it wasn’t as simple as that, she was more than fully aware.

She felt cold hands trail her cheek when she realised that she had let go of the careful restrained emotions that she fought hard to maintain. Because she wasn’t strong. She had never felt more alone than walking out of the ward doors by herself.

“Hayi-ah…I’m sorry—“ She quickly brushed away the remainder of her sadness, not wanting to ruin anymore of the mood than she already did. However, she didn’t smile because she couldn’t bring herself to without cracking. She had already slipped up once, she couldn’t afford to make the same mistake again.

“I’ve told you a million before and most likely a million times more, stop apologizing.” She leaned forward to press a delicate kiss to his forehead to which he returned, lingering for a moment before she moved away. “I’ll be back again, like always.”

He tried to shoot her a stern look though his efforts were only to lighten the mood. “Now, you know school takes first priority, you can visit me whenever you have the time to.”

So, mostly for his sake she played along. “If that’s the case then I suppose I won’t see you for a couple of months, we’d have to take a rain check on that Sudoku match you insist on having.”

He looked mock-appalled as he shook a finger at her. “Now I can finally see the resemblance with your mother, always playing with my heart strings.” She shrugged one shoulder as she pulled her bag up.

“Now I hate to love you and leave you, I’ll see you very soon.” With that she saluted him with a blank face, her father’s face breaking into a small smile as he exchanged similar sentiments.

“Take care, my darling.”

She maintained her smile up until the point she departed from the ward then she felt no obligation to uphold it as she hurried through the hallways, wanting nothing more than to leave before her barriers broke down completely. The auburn haired girl could feel her emotions on the verge of spilling out any second now.

And if she had the choice, she would rather crumble in isolation than be pitied or even comforted by strangers. It was during these times, that she wished that she could take the place of her father so he wouldn’t have to endure the pain anymore.

-

Hayi found a brief moment of sanctuary within the hospital toilets, knowing that she had a snowball’s chance in hell of making it out without bumping into someone, stuttering out something but not being able to finish as her sentence would just die out in the wake of a torrent of tears.

She just needed some much needed time to compose herself enough to be able to make it until she got home, then she could break down and cry for as long as she wanted to.

The petite girl found it easier to manage her emotions this way as she finally departed the building she had grown to loathe. It was only when she stepped out of the doors that she felt like she could finally breathe properly.

Ice cream. And cake. Those two things were the essential ingredients to easing her stress and motivated her to take a quick trip to her local store. It was already dark outside despite the fact it was still quite early into the evening—her dad wouldn’t allow her to visit him during late periods in fear of her safety.

Which, he rightfully so had a justifiable reason, with all the gangs roaming around it wasn’t safe for anyone to be walking around in the night. Unless you were just fearless in general of course.

Before she knew it, she was already welcomed by the warmth provided by the shop. She took her sweet time grabbing the items she needed whilst resisting the usual temptation of buying further things that she didn’t need. You need to keep to your budget if you want to survive this month.

But of course, the usual case is that as a result of the spontaneous food cravings, she did end up picking up a few extra items that she was running out of. All the while carefully working out whether she could afford it as she did the math in her head.  

“—Thanks man, this is always out of stock whenever I come here. Today must be my lucky day!” 

She froze for a split second then proceeded to curse her luck as she tried to locate where the voice came from. It didn’t take long to find out as the owner strolled through the shop with an air of ease surrounding him, packets of ramen and junk food taking up residence in his arms.

And he was making his way to the cashier. There was no way that she could even attempt to sneak past, pay and get away without him realising. She may have had preconceptions that he was rather dense at times, but since he was her flat neighbour she was sure that he would not easily dismiss her upon seeing her.

Once again, she found herself cursing her luck in these situations as she wandered out of sight in case he would turn around suddenly. After what seemed like an agonisingly long period of time—at if he was subconsciously aware of her presence and wanted to increase her waiting time by chatting up the lady working on the till. Or at least, that’s what it looked like judging by her blushing cheeks—he stepped out of the shop with his ever present curl of his lips.

Hayi finally rushed forward to pay for her food in case he forgot something and had to come back. She reached for her purse to hand over when the cashier shook her head as she finished scanning her items and put some money into the machine—money of which Hayi had not given her in the first place. She was utterly perplexed.

She offered a customary smile. “The young man had given some money to pay for your items, miss.”

It was most likely out of instinct than anything else but she couldn’t help but narrow her eyes in suspicion. Why would he play the nice guy tactic all of a sudden?

Taking the bag with a swift thanks, she kept the change she was going to give clutched in her hand. Suspicion invaded her mind, wondering if he was aware of her presence all along. Hayi scowled, her gaze travelled over to the items she was carrying, she couldn’t help but feel like he was just trying to buy her trust.

“Fancy some company on the way back?” She nearly jumped out of her own skin, turning to shoot a heated glare at the culprit.  He merely held up his hands in mock surrender.

“No.” She managed to grit out, moving to walk off before she returned the money in her hand. With great reluctance, she glanced back at him for a moment before she walked in his direction.

“Having a change of heart, then?” He had the nerve to wink at her, that infuriating grin plastered across his face. She had to suppress every temptation to throw the money back in his face.

“I can pay for my own things. We’re not friends so don’t start acting like we are.” She stated as she pushed the money into his hand then pivoted on her heel to walk back to the apartment, her attention switching to her melting ice cream tub.

“I just thought it would be the good neighbourly thing to do, I guess I thought wrong.” He easily kept up with her pace, carrying the bag over his shoulder as he looked on ahead.

She couldn’t help the scoff that escaped her lips. “You can’t just decide to act like the Good Samaritan when it suits you. That’s not how it works.”

“Oh? And I suppose you would know all about being an angel then, huh?”

No one’s an angel, you idiot. Hayi blew at her bangs in frustration, wondering to herself why she decided to go along with the conversation in the first place. So, instead she kept silence because she didn’t want to continue the meaningless exchange of words anyway. She could feel his stare probing into her, but she remained quiet. He let out a heavy exhale as he cut right in front of her, his gaze rested on her as he held out his arms.

“Look, I know that you don’t like me.” Upon seeing her blunt look, he ran a hand through his hair. “And I know that we aren’t on good terms either. But that shouldn’t stop us from having a healthy neighbour relationship.”

“I don’t trust a single thing that comes out of your mouth, why should I start now?” She threw her free hands in the air, the bag being tossed around in her grasp as the state of the ice cream went to the back of her mind. “Your attempts to fool me won’t work, you’ve probably told all your friends about the fact that we live in the same building so each and every one of you can continue to torment me. Because that’s what you call ‘fun’ isn’t it?” She spat out, her eyes ablaze with unadulterated fury. She took some satisfaction from the fact that he looked taken aback, though he quickly composed himself.

“…Actually, I haven’t told any of them.” Just as she was about to intervene with doubt clouding her eyes, he digressed. “No, really. Swear on my heart and all that. Hell, they don’t even know where I live, they think I’m staying with a different girl every week.” Hayi took a step away, her lips curled into a grimace. He was quick to defend himself after admitting such a statement upon expecting her reaction.

“Which isn’t true, which may be surprising.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I may be a flirt amongst other things but contrary to what you may think of me, I don’t sleep around.”
 

Hayi folded her arms over her chest with an unimpressed look. “And that little nugget of information is supposed to help you get into my good books?”

He rocked back on the heels of his feet. “Well, I couldn’t rely on my devilishly handsome good looks to sway your opinion of me, so I decided the better option of being honest.” Before she could help it, she felt a smile start to creep its way onto the corners of her lips. And he relished in the sight.

Though, she wasn’t going to trust him that easily. “This tender moment of yours does not excuse your past behaviour, no matter how honest you intend on being.”

“I thought as much.” He smiled. “We should probably get going, unless you prefer to eat melted ice cream.” Upon the realisation of the state of her food, she cursed herself for wasting time.

“But before that, let’s start anew.” He reached out a hand, his face breaking into a softer smile than she was used to seeing. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Bobby.”

Perhaps it was just because her ice cream was melting or the fact that deep down despite the knowledge that he could easily be talking , sometimes second chances were needed to allow a person to change.

“I never said I would go along with this.” She rolled her eyes as he pouted at her. “Fine, whatever. Hayi. I’m leaving now before my ice cream is reduced to a puddle of goo.” Bobby’s smile grew wider as the pair proceeded back on their walk. He decided to throw caution to the wind as he threw an arm over the petite girl’s shoulders.

“Unless you want that arm to still be attached to your body, I would suggest that you move it along with the rest of your body away from me.”