green - main characters
faded green - already set couples
blue - friendship
dotted blue - aqcuaintance
* Please note: This chart describes the situation at the end of their story.

 

Side by Side


I think I'm going crazy.
And there's absolutely nothing funny about it.

 

"Baekhyun Hyung~!", the deep voice of my best friend called out to me in a clumsy sing-song melody. I turned my head to the left, where I was greeted with the typical mess of hair and the twinkling eyes, looking at me attentively.
"Are ya joining us for the movies later?"
But his lips weren't moving.
I blinked. Still there.
"Baek?"
I turned to the right, where Chanyeol gave me a slightly worried look. I hurried to jump into the one-sided conversation.
"Ah, uhm, w-which movie?"
"Mockingjay."
I turned to my left again to check, while waving my hand dimissively.
"Nah, I've already seen that one."
"What?", I heard his voice doing an overdramatic gasp, "You traitor! How could you? With whom did you betray me? Was it the teleportation kid?"
No one there. To my left was no one.
"Uhm, Baek...?"
Back to the Chanyeol on my right.
The only one. Yes.
"Are you alright?" My laugh sounded fake, even to my own ears.
"Yeah, sure. Just a little tired, I've been practicing a lot recently." I almost flinched when the giant patted my shoulder. "Man, don't overdo it. They'd be idiots not to choose you. If they won't, I'll throw away all of my future ambitions and form my own talent agency, just to employ you. And to make them regret it for the rest of their life." Even though I snorted in disbelieve, I was endlessly grateful for his words. "Aaall of your ambitions - Gee, the world will have to thank me for one less homeless person on the streets.", I dryly said, but couldn't contain a little smile. Chanyeol saw that and understood it, being the best friend that he had been for so many years.
When he had strolled out of my sight, I quickly went to the bathroom to splash some water onto my face. I looked into the mirror.
My reflection was trembling. But I wasn't.
It was also averting it's gaze. Which I didn't, either.
Sighing, I threw away the crumpled paper towels and made my way to the next class.

I don't know when exactly it started. When reality began to drift away. At first it had only been minor things. Sometimes I would see a flickering from the corner of my eyes. Of course, there was nothing and I didn't think too much about it. I started to worry when more and more things didn't seem to be what I saw them like. Objects would have a different color, a different texture, and I was confused. After blinking a few times, or touching, they often returned to what they were supposed to look like. Maybe that should have been the point for me to do something about it.
Recently I've begun to see whole persons that weren't there. Or didn't see persons that were there. I couldn't trust myself anymore.
And it started to frighten me.

Of course, I didn't tell anybody. Since I'm a gifted one(even though only on the least dangerous Level 3), there would surely be consequences. If I was deemed not enough 'in-control' of my powers, I could easily end up with a home tutor, unable to attend a public school. Wouldn't want that to happen.
Besides that I was in control. I was one of the best users in my after-classes. Using or repressing, directing or averting - controlling the power of Light came natural to me.
It wasn't about my powers, but still, something was wrong. And I began to fear that the problem was origining from my own head, digging its' roots deeper to fill all the space they could find.

I couldn't keep it from Chanyeol for long, it was impossible. Still, I tried to talk myself out of it by stating I was tired or just a little out of it. But it became a daily routine and when I one day snapped at him aggressively not to bother me, he stepped down from voicing out his worries. I can still feel him watching me attentively, though, from close as well as afar. Like a silent guardian angel. Still, the silence won't be kept up for much longer; I just knew him as he knew me.
The other person that noticed a change in my behaviour was actually unexpected.
 

Every second weekend I would join my good friend Suho in tutoring the afterclasses. Since I have a gift for healing and worked at the hospital, I started to give first aid courses. Though some might find them a bit... extraordinary.
There was only a rather low number of gifted ones and therefore the possibilities of education were considerably rare. Even though most gifted ones in the country were practically forced to move to the capital city in order to get in control of their gift (and stay in sight of the government), the total number in Seoul didn't even surpass the 30. Take away the people that were too old or too young, and only very few remain capable of proper teaching. Even Suho and I were pretty young for holding a teaching position, but our level of control was sufficient.
So while Suho taught the kids all sort of things about controlling their gifts, working together with everyone individually, I made it my task to teach them about using their powers in emergency situations. Many only deemed their power as something to move, to destroy, but it was amazing how versatile most talents could be. One of the elder students(who happens to also be a good friend of mine, but that's beside the point), for example, controlled ice. Together we worked out he was able to not only cool down the body temperature; he was also able to stop severe bleeding if frozen carefully, and could probably even freeze a complete body to prevent it from dieing. If it came down to it.
So, overall, I spent quite some toughts on every individual power and tried to get the most out of everyone. I dare say most students were genuinely attentive and interested - grateful that someone who shares their burden leads them for a while.

So today was one of those afternoons at the residential high school in the special training hall. Everything went on as usual - After a short briefing, everyone got to their warm-ups and went through their personal routines, chatting all the while, when they deemed Suho at a long-enough distance. The atmosphere was one of oddly peaceful chaos. I felt an occasional gush of wind, saw the flickering of fire and smelled the distinct smoke created by the teleportation user, who was literally all over the place.
Still, there was something missing. Or, more accurately, a certain someone.
My eyes scanned the room to find the dark-haired boy sitting hunched at one of the tables in the corner of the halls that were usually used during the breaktimes.
Seeing Baekhyun always caused a twitch of guilt to form in my stomache. He was fantastic, his level of control incomparable to the others. This normally qualifies him greatly for taking first aid lessons, but I just couldn't come up with a useful way to use his power. Other than leading trapped people the way out, that is. He could probably go into laser therapy one day, but that was nothing short of dangerous and should not be attempted without real medical knowledge, so we mutually agreed on staying away from it.
Therefore, finishing his routine quickly, Baekhyun was usually without any occupation for the most time. This resulted in him wandering around aimlessly, assissting others as well as teasing them in turn. His vivid nature brought life into the room and he just had a thing for people, connecting easily to anyone.
I must admit that I've always had an eye on him. Not in a creepy way, though. I myself don't have any trouble in advancing on people, but Baekhyun's outspokenness that more often than not tip-toed between being mildly cheeky to downright shameless was a completely different league. Somehow he still got away with his attitude, though. It probably helped that he was gorgeous, sporting a pair of pretty brown eyes that were accentuated by a varying amount of black eyeliner, a cute nose, silky black hair and a slim stature. But deep down I knew the true reason he was forgiven all his antics was his good nature. Everything was just playing around; when it came down to it Baekhyun became serious in an instant, solving the problem at hand efficiently.
Not even I myself am sure when simple acknowledgement turned into this small infatuation. It wasn't anything serious, but I did have my eyes trained on him whenever the opportunity presented itself.
That's why I didn't fail to notice the change. It must have happened over the last two months. At first I assumed he had a bad day. But after two weeks it would only become worse. And worse. The person that now sat at the table, blankly staring into space, didn't resemble Baekhyun at all. Hair unkempt, no trace of any make-up and a simple T-shirt instead of his usual stylish clothing. Still, the most unsettling difference was the increasing dullness reflected in his eyes. It probably sounds stupid since he's controlling light, but his eyes used to shine with emotion. A sparkle of mischief, a flicker of concern; never had his eyes been so void of anything. The sight was more than painful. But what to do? No one wants a teacher to worry, right? But I couldn't just leave him, either. Obviously his friends had distanced themselves, presumably after Baekhyun lashing out at them.
So I strode over to him, sitting at the opposite side of the table without much of a plan.
He didn't show any sign of acknowledgement, and the seconds turned to minutes of silence. Patiently I waited for a reaction, but nothing came. After a really long time he lifted his head and looked at me through his black fringe warily. I opted for a simple: "Hey."
Still I received this wary glance, which confused me.
"Hey.", he answered hesitatingly.
"Already finished your tasks?"
"...Yeah."
"Don't feel like annoying Kai today?"
I saw his eyes flitting to a spot above my left shoulder. I followed his gaze. Nothing.
Then he quickly looked back at me.
"Nah.", he said, lightly shaking his head.
For a few seconds he just stared at me, then he lowered his gaze to the table again, seemingly having an inner conflict about something.
It was more than weird. Something was definitely off. I could literally feel the uneasiness coming off of him in waves. Still, I wasn't sure where to start.
Finally, I broke the silence.
"So, you're job-less right now?", I lightheartedly asked. Baekhyun tilted his head lightly, before nodding shortly.
"Then let's go out for a coffee and some cake.", I announced, getting up and rightening my clothes. It was obvious that the black-haired boy was reluctant, but he still got up and followed me without a word.
 

I really thought I was in for a lecture. Wondering why Suho would have sent Lay to talk to me. But when we settled into a nearby coffee shop and got our order after an agonizing silence, he spoke up without further ado, in this calm and soft voice of his:
"You want to tell me what's going on?" I was a little startled, suddenly put on the spot like that. So I shook my head rather vehemently, preparing myself for the upcoming lecture. But there was no such thing. Instead he nodded in thoughtful understanding and started to pick at his slice of strawberrycake. He hummed in approval at the taste.
"You want to try?", he asked friendly. Almost blushing at the couple-like setting, I politely refused.
And then Lay just sparked on a conversation, that started out rather one-sidedly, which didn't seem to bother him.
While I was not sure whether I was dealing with another one of my hallucinations earlier, I was now 100% sure that my first-aid tutor Lay was sitting across me. While he told me about his current education at the hospital, I took in his features, observed his hands purposefully slicing the cake and propping it into his mouth. All the while he was only briefly looking at it, though, his eyes rarely straying from me. I always thought he had a rather unique appearance. Not boyishly gorgeous like Kai or of aristrocatic beauty like Sehun. Instead he had a slighlty exotic, reassuring and calming, but also kinda unapproachable charm. A strange mix of maturity and youthfulness, where everything seemed soft; from the expression in his eyes, his brown strands that slightly curled at the end to his beautiful lips.
He was just naturally enticing.
I didn't even feel a tidbit of guilt over admitting this - Who doesn't appreciate beauty? Besides that he was pretty much my age as he was only one year older, and technically didn't even teach me, so no, not gross at all.
And even though I would react annoyed if anyone was to approach me out of pity or whatever, being with Lay put me at ease, somehow. Maybe he was using his healing powers discreetly.
Overall I started to warm up to the conversation quickly, not paying attention to my shifting surroundings. Not to the calico cat that curled itself into a ball on the windowsill, not to Kai, who sat next to Lay for a while, nodding along, not to the color-shifting tablecloth. I only focused on Lay, talking animatedly about my wish to become an idol and the upcoming auditions I trained so hard for.
And Lay just smiled, never mentioning anything about my weird behaviour earlier.
It came as a slight surprise to me how openly he talked about himself. Up to that moment we had only had shallow conversations in-between, so I didn't realize I knew close to nothing about him, despite (not really) being his student for such a long time.
After one and a half hour of talking I came to the conclusion that we would make good friends. I even entertained the thought of telling him about my little problem, but in the end I didn't want to drive him away, thinking I was crazy or cheap for easily giving out this personal problems after a short, light-hearted conversation.
Still, it had been a welcome distraction from the wobbly mess that was my daily life.
 

I was delighted to see the spark of life back in his brown eyes. Whatever had seemed to weigh him down soon vanished and he immersed himself in a conversation with me. It was nice to get to know the person behind the sassy attitude a little more. His energy and passion were a little infective and it was hard to imagine him being the same person I saw in the Gym hall, looking distant and frightened. When we returned to class for the obligatory end-speech and Suho half-heartedly scolded us for skipping, I waved Baekhyun goodbye, watching him leave with his giant best friend.
Maybe everything was going to be alright.
In retrospect I was a fool not to prod any further.
 

It was the moment I had been waiting for. Finally my number was called out and I tried to walk with my usual confidence when I positioned myself in front of the judges.
To my dismay it had been a more than bad day so far, but I wouldn't let it stop me. With the most dazzling smile and all the energy I could muster in a vain attempt to be my usual self, I introduced myself; trying really hard to focus on the right person in front of me and not minding all the others I could see.
I talked shortly about my musical education and interests and was met with mild ignorance, which was probably normal, considering how many stories they must've heard that day.
One of the judges finally looked up from his papers, asking in a slightly wary voice:
"It says you're a gifted one. Is that true?"
I gulped, but nodded. "I'm a level 3 with very tight control. Since my power includes light manipulation, I could imagine using it for the job, for exa-" "You think you can handle the pressure? Our agency doesn't have any babysitters for gifted ones, and normal people already tend to give into the stress." I know a shadow had passed my face upon his mention of 'normal' people, but I did my best to keep smiling. "Yes, Sir. My institute will hand in the results of my regular examination and assessment."
Reluctantly, he nodded. "Well, first we should hear what you got, right?"
Phew. That was the moment. I inhaled and exhaled deeply to calm myself. I would have loved to close my eyes, just to make sure nothing weird could distract me. But if I wanted to impress the judges, I also had to give them a taste of my stage presence, so open eyes it was.
When I started to softly sing to the tune of one of my favourite songs, called "Miracles in December", I took pride in the way I could keep my voice steady, void of trembling. I sang with all my heart, trying to convey the heavy feelings with my voice, my body, my whole being. It came easily to me, being a person full of emotions. The weird illusions were tugging at the sides of my vision, but I blanked them out as much as I could, reducing them to a blur of movements and colors that were irrelevant at the moment. The judges let me sing the whole song, which I hoped was a good sign. When the last tunes softly rounded the song, I was delighted to see one of the three judges cracking a smile and taking a final note, before looking up again. Then she stood up and came around the table, stepping closer to me, offering her hand with that same, nice smile.
When I bowed, mumbling my thanks and tried to take her hand, it vanished the moment I tried to touch it. And it left me with two male judges, eyeing me silently from their spot. The one that had pestered me about my gift, gave a short sigh full of resignation and lightly shook his head, making a huge cross onto the papers with a scratching noise that cut the silence brutally.

I had barely left the building when the hot tears started to fill my eyes. . I ruined it. Just because of this stupid illusions. I would probably never get the chance again. Surely it would spread in the music business like a wild fire - 'If a gifted one applies be careful - it could be that retarded one that tried to audition for us, haha. He was talking to people that weren't there; totally nuts.'
Full of anger I wiped my tears to smudge my carefully applied eyeliner and ruffled my hair in frustration. Who cared if I looked like a mess? I was a mess, through and through. The worst was that the illusions didn't even stop now. I saw stones in the pavement that had illogical colors and the two people at the coffee shop table looked like the judges from before. A little girl was flinging a yellow umbrella, staggering aroung in her raincoat, even though the sun shone brightly. I balled my fists tightly when a woman passed by me, walking her dog and looking exactly like that female judge from before. I felt as if my own brain was taunting me, making fun of me. Aggressively I stalked past everyone and decided to take a different route home; one that was rarely used and where I could stay clear of all the derogative people that weren't even there.
The path I took was a rather popular route for those who liked to take a relaxing stroll on their bike or a walk with their kids, far from any buildings and shops. Still, it was rather deserted at this time of the day. The tiny stones made scrunching noises with every slow and gloomy step I took.
To my right and left was grass, where I saw the flickering of insects that probably weren't there in the first place. I needed to do something. It couldn't go on like that.
I squeezed past the passenger-barrier, when a sudden flash of colors invaded my brain with a slicing pain, and everything lost itself in a blur of colors, lazily swimming into each other, like looking through a puddle of oil. I pressed a hand to my head and squeezed my eyes shut. The pain ebbed away and when I opened them again, the bright green color had returned to the grass. Frustration sank into me and filled me with a hot flurry of emotions; a mix of disappointment, anger and desperation. I crouched down and curled into a ball. The tears wouldn't stop, blurring the traitorous surroundings even more - I just couldn't believe I was going to lose my mind. There was the faint sound of a voice calling out to me. But there was no reason for me to look up - I probably wouldn't see anyone standing there, anyway.
I also didn't see the train.
But I felt the impact.
And then, finally, a steady black flooded my vision, bringing everything to an abrupt halt.

The black was still there. What was new was the soaring pain in my ribs. I was lying on a bed, but I couldn't remember returning home. Had I gotten myself wasted? No.
After convincing myself of the inevident need to get up sooner or later, I opened my eyes, blinking repeatedly to get rid of the sleepiness.
A white ceiling.
Blink. With black stripes.
Blink. With tiny black dots.
Blink. White again.
Well, I was still crazy, good to see. Haha. See.
...Okay, not funny. I seemed to be in a hospital. But why? Had they turned me in? At least I wasn't wearing a white jacket. And the room also seemed to be nothing out of the ordinary. All white walls and white sheets and white door(With the occasional patterns I saw). To my right my mobile phone vibrated on the nightstand. Before I could even attempt to grasp for it, though, the door opened and when I was greeted with the familiar face, I was absolutely sure I was seeing things again.
"Baekhyun.", Lay spoke softly, sitting next to the bed on a (checkered) white chair. Still fully in my sleepy stupor, I heard myself mumbling: "Lay? Are you... Lay?", before I could help myself. I had never seen Lay making such a conflicted face, mirroring worry and sadness. Great, now I was even disappointing my illusions. With a sigh I closed my eyes again. But suddenly I felt a warm hand on mine.
"Baekhyun, hey. ...Baek." Reluctantly, I opened my eyes again.
"You're a persistent one, aren't you?"
A dimpled smile. "I try."
The touch convinced me more and more that it was indeed my Chinese first-aid teacher sitting next to me.
"Is this... The hospital you work in?", I asked in a weak mumble, still trying to make sense of things. "Yes, that's why I'm here, wearing all white and stuff.", he shrugged with a smile.
Yeah, sure. That had been a rather stupid question. Wake up, Baekhyun.
"Then... Why am I here? Wait..." Something was tugging at the back of my memory. "I don't remember... But... Something hit me...?" Slowly, more details filled my blurred mind. "Wait, something hit me. Oh god - was it a train?" Lay's faint smile faded and he lightly bit his lip as he made an affirmative noise. "But I feel kinda fine... Did you heal me?"
Lay seemed to grow even more uneasy, but held my gaze.
"Well, yes. But it's not thanks to me that you got away that well." His grip on my hand got a little tighter. "Someone saved you in the last second. In return, he got injured."
I gasped, not knowing what to say. My head felt light and empty, growing heavier as the words sank in. Someone got injured. Because of me. "D-do I know him?"
A shake of his head.
I didn't feel any relief at all at his statement. An innocent, uninvolved stranger, had gotten himself hurt because of me.
"How... How badly is he... I mean..." Lay started to rub his fingers across the back of my hand absentmindedly as he spoke carefully, obviously not trying to startle me even more. Still, he didn't keep the truth from me.
"He is alive. But he hit his head and didn't wake up yet. He is in the room next to you at the very moment, sleeping soundly."
There were no tears this time. My entire body was still weakened and felt as if all the liquid in my body had been burned out. I couldn't even cry for this stranger that had risked his life. There was nothing but emptiness.
Lay shuffled closer to pull me into a hug. I didn't resist. But I didn't return it, either.
"You shouldn't comfort me.", I mumbled into his shoulder, that smelled of hospital, but also carried a hint of something fruity. "You should comfort the family of that man. I don't deserve it."
Lay only held onto me a bit tighter, making a shushing noise. "I comfort whomever is important to me. And you can need it, as well.", he simply stated.
"How can I be important to you?"
My voice was muffled when I let my forehand sink onto his shoulder. "We barely know each other. You didn't even teach me anything, since my power is so damn useless." I felt a strong hand patting my head and steadily my hair. "No gift in this world is useless and you know that."
"Light just can't help anyone, right? I could still start working at a construction site or something, turning the lights on and off." What was usually some kind of inside joke between Yeol and me sounded awefully pathethic when it came out like this, choked by my sobs. When had I started crying?
"No more talking now.", Lay just shushed me one more time, continuing to my hair, letting his hand wander across my back, rubbing circles slowly. "For now, just try to calm down and get some sleep. Your body has been healed completely. The pain you're currently experiencing is just a phantom pain, caused by your brain. Tomorrow you're ready to leave. Let's talk tomorrow, okay?" I just gave a weak affirmative sound. As always, Lay was on spot - my 'body' was healed.
For the rest of the evening, I didn't say another word and let myself be showered with gentle affection I was sure I didn't deserve at all. Still, at some point sleep came over me, somewhere in between warm hands and a softly hummed tune.

When I woke up, the sun had already risen. It was probably around noon. Not wasting any time, I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Time to leave. I would definitely not stay here for longer than absolutely neccessary. Shortly I took in my surroundings, located my stuff and got ready. In no more than 5 minutes I was ready to go and quietly closed the door behind me. Still, there was no way I could leave without visiting my rescuer. My hand on the doorhandle trembled slightly, but I entered the room nevertheless.
On the bed, connected to several machines, lay a man, probably around my age. His features were very handsome and even though most of him was hidden beneath a red white blanket, I could already tell he was overall gorgeous. No one was here to visit him. Maybe his family was working? I wondered whether he had a lot of friends, maybe even a lover. There lay this handsome stranger whom I knew nothing about. Yet, I managed to destroy his life, just like that. No one could predict when or even if he'd ever wake up.
I stood a metre from his bed, not daring to come closer. My body started to shake again. Instinctively I wished for Lay's strong and warm presence to return; but the events of the previous night seemed almost as surreal as any other illusion and I began to wonder whether they had ever taken place.
I gripped my shoulders tightly to prevent them from trembling. Somewhere along the way my bag had fallen to the ground.
Just in that moment the door behind me opened and Lay came in, a flash of relief gracing his features. There was nothing to be relieved about. It didn't make sense. I was still there, still hallucinating, and the stranger was still in a coma.
Lay didn't approach me easily this time around. Instead he held a respectable distance, and searched for my eyes. "Baekhyun." My eyes flitted up to meet his.
"Baek. I think I might know what troubles you." I felt a cold panic rising up my throat, constricting it.
"I read in the report, that you have stood on the tracks. But you didn't want to attempt suicide, did you?" Rapidly I shook my head, grasping my arms more tightly. Lay nodded, yet he was void of any visible satisfaction over his right guess. Unreadable.
"I thought so. Piecing everything together... Could it be that something is wrong with your vision?" I didn't respond. There was nothing to say.
Yet, when he took one step towards me, I uncounsciously inched back one.
He seemed to sense my instability and hurriedly continued.
"Maybe there is a problem with your gift, seeing as-" "No!", I intervened adamantly, inching another step back. "Everything is fine with my gift. It - it's something else. I -..."
I couldn't say it. It's my head. My mind.
Lay took another step. I did, too.
"Look, I can feel that your unsettled and on the verge of panic. But I can assure you, the problem does not lie in your sanity. I could feel problems like that." My next step let my knees get in contact with the patient's bed, reminding me on the damage I had done. Lay was being nothing but nice, but there was no way I would drag more people into this. Hastily I reached for my bag and aimed to rush past him, but he firmly grabbed me by my shoulders. Actually I could have fought him off easily, but my mind was currently in a state of utter chaos.
"Baekhyun, look at me. If you feel that something is wrong, that something is off, if you need anything; send me your location over KakaoTalk. You don't need to write anything, just send me the location and I'll come to you as fast as I can. Don't move away. Just hold on for a little, and I'll be there. You got that? I don't care if you just want company, if you want me to get you anything, I'll come running. Do you understand that?" My eyes met his for a second, before I fought myself free and ran off, ignoring the shouts behind me.

Just to be sure, I took a bus home.
Just to be sure, I asked the bus driver if he'd stop at my station.
Just to be sure, I didn't make eye-contact with anyone.
When I arrived at my flat, everything was dark. Chanyeol wasn't home, which I was thankful for. I practically ran into my room, slamming the door shut and leaning against it with my back. All the way I had been thinking. Thinking and thinking. About the boy who now lay in a coma. About the reason for my hallucinations. Whether I was too stressed, too fragile, too weak to handle my life the way everybody else could.
Maybe Lay was right. Maybe my gift was somehow poisoning my brain. But how could you possibly run away from light? Light was fast.
In a sudden movement, I angrily shut my curtains, leaving my room illuminated in the soft red light of the lamp on my nightstand. To be honest I never slept without a lamp on. Darkness made me feel weak, powerless. So I stood frozen, in the middle of my room, staring at the lamp, casting high shadows on the wall. The shadows began to flicker. Then I saw more and more small shadows, rapidly moving.
And something inside of me clicked, somehow spurred on by fear, anger and disgust.

A few moments later I used my trembling hands to type in my pin and open my KakaoTalk app.
 

Before I could react, Baekhyun was gone. He absolutely shouldn't be left alone now, but neither did I know his address, nor his close friends. I didn't even know whether he would go home now, or maybe to his parent's house,... Or to his lover's. I didn't even know anything about Baekhyun.
So I called the first person that came to my mind.
We didn't even get past the greeting, before Suho received a message from one of his students, Sehun, asking to meet up with Kai to discuss something important. As expected, Suho couldn't say no to one of his precious students. Even though I was getting impatient, we would meet Kai, who was a good friend of Baekhyun and therefore might be of more help than Suho, who could only offer me his telephone number.
Since I had coaxed Baekhyun into exchanging our contact data during that night at the hospital, I already had that much.
It was in the middle of a conversation, that I felt my mobile phone vibrating.
Baekhyun. He really did sent me a location. I opened it as fast as my phone could process it, tapping the buttons harshly. An apartment for students, near the Campus. Without hesitating I got up to leave, excusing myself curtly and signalising Suho, that I wouldn't need his help after all. Before I knew it I was on my way, determined not to let him get away again.

The sight was heart-wrenching. Baekhyun was a mess, crouching down against the wall, curling himself into a ball and gripping his shoulders tightly. His room was completely dark and the few rays of artifical light I let in when opening the door shone onto various shards of glass that were scattered across the room, now blinking like the eyes of a dozen cats. Before he could manage to look up from his position on the floor, I had already crouched down next to him, carelessly swishing the nearest glass shards away with my shoes. This time around he didn't hesitate, neither did he try to run away. Instead he fell into my arms, clutching my shirt desperately. For a while, neither of us said anything and there was no noise besides his choked sobbing. When he did say something, it was so quiet I almost missed it.
"Make it stop...", he whispered brokenly. No matter how gentle I tried to hold him, or sooth him, his trembling wouldn't stop.
"I'm so s-scared..."
Even tough acting calmly, I was at a loss inside. So I figured I might as well ask.
"What can I do?" I could already feel his hot tears seeping through my shirt.
"Can you... Tell me what's real? I just c-can't tell anymore-"
I looked up to take in my surroundings and took a deep breath.
"We're in your room. It's pretty dark in here, since the curtains are closed. We're sitting on the floor, next to your bed. There are shards of glass everywhere, because you probably broke something-"
"My lamp.", his whisper interrupted me.
"-Yeah. Now you say it, I think I can see the remains of the lamp. Besides that your room seems medium-tidy, and there are a few plush animals on your bed and a bag with groceries next to the door." That was all I could see in the semi-darkness of the room.
A few seconds of silence followed.
"Okay.", he then mumbled repeateadly. "Okay... Everything's normal."
I didn't ask him what he had seen or was still seeing in here. He sould focus on the reality only in that state.
Instead I gently held him half an arm's length away from me to search for his eyes.
"You shouldn't stay here. Come over to my place for now. I'll cook us dinner, how does that sound?"
Baekhyun grinned weakly, his eyes still shining with unshed tears.
"Like a bad pick-up line."
"I'll think of a better one when we're there. Now come on.", I promised, dragging him up to his feet and out of the suffocating room.
 

He really made dinner and it was simple, but delicious nonetheless. Since my hands were still shaking quite badly I took a long time to finish, but Lay was waiting patiently. We hardly spoke, until he led me to the living room, where he sat down next to me and asked me the first question that wasn't food-related.
"What do you see in here?"
I gulped, but looked around nevertheless, trying very hard to concentrate, causing me a light headache.
"Your flat is pretty bright and your lamps look very fancy. Your... Your furniture is mainly red and white, and everything looks really tidy. The carpets are dark grey. There are piles of books and CD's. And you have... a guitar...?", I closed hesitatingly, half sure that I was drifting into illusions again. Again, Lay touched my hand. He seemed to be the type to use body-contact for comfort. Though his smile had a similar effect on me.
"Almost perfect.", he chuckled lightly, "Indeed I do have a guitar. Well, the carpets are actually more beige than grey, but you're mainly right."
He then turned serious again. "Now tell me about it. When did it start?"
So I told him. There was no way out now, so I told him everything. He suggested to go see a doctor, but I still didn't want to. Call me stupid, but a selfish part of myself couldn't stop thinking about my possibly ruined future. To which Lay rightfully retorted that my remaining future might turn out to be shorter than expected if this went on any further. Still, he remained understanding and promised to figure something out with me.
He didn't even ask me whether I wanted to sleep alone or not, naturally leading me into his room and leaving me to sleep on his bed, while he pushed his sofa next to it. That way I would have my own bed, but he was still close to me. I didn't question anything and even refrained myself from any cheeky remark. Secretly I was just grateful for his actions, and wouldn't want to drive him away (again).
It came to no surprise that I was in for a long night(not in that way, though, don't be weird!). After asking me, Lay left the curtains open for a bit so some of the city's lights would illuminate the room dimly. Even though considerably unsettled by any light, sleeping in complete darkness was no option for me that night.
It was probably purely due to exhaustion that I fell asleep rather quickly. Having another person in the room that wasn't remarkably close to me was a bit awkward at first and I just hoped I wouldn't snore or anything. His bed smelled foreign as well, but in a good way; like Lay himself did. After shuffling around again and again, it was probably around 3 A.M, when I first woke up with ragged breathing and shaking hands, cold sweat running down my neck and my hands grasped the blanket tightly as I looked around. I couldn't even place whether the room was the same as it was before. Had there always been that big clock on the wall? On the sofa next to me was nothing but a messily spread out blanket.
I felt tiny when my quiet voice broke the suffocating silence in the room.
"...Lay?" The rustling of fabric was heard.
"L-Lay?", I tried again. This time I got a sleepy "Mmh?" in response. I felt truly bad for waking him up, but...
"I-I can't see you... But you're still there, right?"
No amount of trying to sound not too hysterical could erase the stupidity in this question. But still, I couldn't see...
...Until I felt a touch on my hand. I almost jumped in shock, but the warm feeling of this particular hand had begun to become familiar.
"Yes. I'm still here. You see me now?" His voice sounded sleepy, yet beared no accusation or annoyance. Already a little less panicked, I tightened my grip on his fingers.
"Yes."
"Good. Let's go back to sleep, Baekhyun..."
Secretly I was reluctant to let go of him again, but it seemed that I had misread his signs, for when I had lied back down, his hand sought mine again, not breaking the touch until both of us fell asleep.
Whenever I awoke again, I would direct all of my attention to the warm hand that lay near mine, carefully exploring every slightly calloused and every soft spot, familiarizing myself even more with them, until I dared to close my eyes again.

When I awoke the next morning, I was surprised to find myself feeling much better. It was still some time left before I'd have to leave for university, so I turned to lie on my side and observed the sleeping Lay. Seeing a person sleeping had a really intimate feeling to it, more so than watching someone change or something - At least I felt that way. People that were sleeping peacefully, often revealed an expression you weren't even aware they were capable of during the day. Well, sure, sometimes you just looked like a mess(Yes, I'm looking at you, Yeollie).
Lay was still fascinating, even when asleep. His tousled brown strands were partly pressed flat into a mess due to the many fluffy cushions he had sunken into. For some reason I wasn't sure whether I found that cute or y. Maybe both.
My eyes were wandering over his facial features, when a vibrating phone made him stir. Not missing a beat, I averted my gaze as if I had been scanning through his book titles the whole time.
Lay grabbed for the source of the annoying noise and blindly received the call, holding the phone to his ear, and blinking to get the sleep out of his eyes.
Even I heard the voice on the other end.
"Baek?! Finally, man! What the hell is wrong with you?!"
Oh. Turned out to be my phone. And there was Chanyeol on the line. Whom's messages I may or may not have answered ever since I got out of the casting.
"Mhwhat?", Lay mumbled confused, rubbing his eyes a little more.
"What, 'what'? Don't you 'what' me - Wait, you aren't Baekhyun."
"Err... no?"
"Oh, WHAT THE HELL. Don't tell me he turned me down for a One Night Stand!", his loud voice crackling painfully into Lay's ears, who held it a few inches away from his ear.
"Ah, don't misunderstand,", Chanyeol added as an afterthought, "We're not together or something - Baekhyun is y, free and single, no harm done, and now GET HIM ON THE PHONE. Like, RIGHT NOW. I absolutely don't care whether he's awake, sleeping, or stark - RIGHT. NOW."
Chanyeol's (admittably justified) rambling went on for a while, but he finally hung up when I promised to tell everything later, swearing on my whole make-up collection.
By the point I was finished, Lay had already gotten back from the shower.
We mutually agreed on talking about everything in the afternoon; including Chanyeol this time. Still, I'd probably stay for a few days. For now I had to leave, though, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I styled my hair and rambled until the shirt I lent from Lay was to my liking. He even had a black kohl liner for me, stating one of his friends forgot it there('friend', aha. Noting that one).
Also for the first time in months, my reflection in the mirror flashed the familiar, self-confident smile.

And that's how I began living together with Lay.

 

...And that's how I'm ending the first part~!
I know that some of you might think that the setting is similar to the first chapter - with one frightened boy and a rather calm one... But rest assured, their characters are completely different, which will become more clear in the next part.
Hehe, I'm still having fun in intertwining the different stories.
I can already hint that there has been a point where three stories overlapped~

As always I thank anyone for reading this and appreciate any form of feedback ❤ 
Special thanks go to texturedjeans, who suggested Lay - I hope this hasn't been a disappointment so far~

Love,
sugar-and-salt