DING DONG

My eyes fluttered open at the loud sound of the doorbell ringing downstairs. I stretched my arms out in front of me and groaned slightly as my mother ran to the front door to see who it was. As I dragged myself out of the warm confines of my covers, I listened to what was going on underneath my feet; I couldn't make out any of what was being said, but I could recognise that smooth voice anywhere: my boyfriend, Jong-dae.

Since Jong-dae and I had been going out since freshmen year, it was pretty difficult to imagine myself without him. Something had just...I don't know, 'clicked' between us the moment we first laid eyes on each other. He wasn't always the brightest boy in the world (which would normally bother me, since I'm pretty academic), and he really did enjoy spontaneously belting out the occasional Madonna track, but I didn't care- I loved him, and that was all that mattered, right?

Jong-dae wasn't the only reason my life at school was heavenly- I had my friends too: Wendy and Young-ji. I'd known them for as long as I could remember, and they'd always had my back, poised to punch anybody who called me a nerd in junior high- although, now, of course, we ruled the school. Don't ask me how the three smartest kids became the three most popular (Wendy says it's because of our looks), but it just happened that way, and, to be honest, I wouldn't change a thing.

Anyway, back to the actual story: 

I heard my mother (Ha Ji-won, for those of you who are simply DYING to know her name) charging up the stairs to my room. "Krystal!" she called from behind my door, "Krystal, wake up, Jong-dae's here to see you!"

"Tell him I'll be there in five minutes!" I called back as I was pulling on my jeans.

"Stop shouting, I'm trying to sleep!" came the shout from my sister, Jessica's room. A little bit about her: she's already left school, but she hasn't been able to buy her own place yet, so she's 'temporarily' staying with me and mom, an arrangement which I am perfectly fine with- we get along pretty well, you see.

But anyway, as I had promised, I was leaping down the stairs in five minutes, when I saw Jong-dae, still standing in the open doorway, twiddling his thumbs nervously. 

"Jong-dae!" I called.

He looked up quickly and a nervous smile spread across his face, "H-hi, Krys- look can I, um, talk to you about something real quick? Like, in private?"

I knitted my brows together in confusion- it wasn't often that Jong-dae wanted to have a conversation 'in private'. "Uh, sure, come on up."

He followed me back up the stairs and into my room, where we both sat down on the edge of my girly, pink bed.

"So?" I asked, "What did you wanna talk about?"

"Uh..." he began, sounding surprised as if he'd forgotten why he was here, twiddling his thumbs again and moving his eyes about quickly, "Um, I, uh, it's kinda difficult to...um..."

He trailed off, staring into space, and I suddenly took his hands in mine, recognising all the obvious signs of nerves. He looked over at me, startled, and I said, looking steadily into his eyes: "Jong-dae, babe, you know you can tell me anything, don't you?"

"Well, y-yeah, but...I dunno..."

"Look- whatever it is, I won't be mad, okay?" I should probably tell you now that I was secretly panicking inside. Does he want to have with me? Does he want to break up with me? Is he transferring? All of these worrying thoughts ran through my head as I stared into his wide eyes, waiting for him to say something.

After what felt like an eternity, he said, "...really?" 

On the verge of frustration, I nodded quickly.

He closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. Then he opened his eyes and said:

"I think I'm gay."

"What?"

"I said I think I'm-"

"Wait a second...just...wait."

I dropped my hands from his. Whatever I had been expecting, it most definitely had not been that.

Gay? Jong-dae? My boyfriend of nearly three years? It just didn't make sense. Well, granted, there was the Madonna, and the musicals...and the Darren Criss pictures saved on his phone...but that was all just a coincidence, wasn't it? I had never thought that he would actually be...

"...are you mad?" I heard him say carefully through the fog of thoughts that was now clouding my head.

I wanted to talk and didn't want to talk at the same time. If I said something, it might come out wrong, but if I didn't say anything, then Jong-dae would just feel more upset. In the end, I decided upon saying, "No. I'm not mad. I'm just...a little surprised."

"Oh." Jong-dae looked down at his shoes for a few seconds before saying, "I'm really sorry, Krys...I still love you, it's just...I don't know...I felt something for this guy that I'd never felt before, and I felt horrible about it when I did, but-"

"Jong-dae...could you just leave for a while?" I asked him quietly. "I just need to think for a bit."

"Oh, y-yeah, sure," he said, looking slightly disappointed, standing up from the bed and beginning to make his way to the door. When he reached it, he turned around and said sheepishly, "Call me later, okay?"

I nodded meekly, and then sat on my bed for a few minutes, listening to his footsteps down the staircase, to the front door slamming behind him, and to his car pulling out of our driveway and driving off down the street.

Gay.

This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't. It wasn't that I had a problem with gay people, because I didn't, and still don't, in fact, but it was just so hard to accept all of a sudden. All I knew was that if this got out to the rest of the school, him and I would be chewed up and spat out by the student body. There had to be something I could do, something to help him be attracted to me again so that we could keep on living our blissful, peaceful lives...

Then it came to me. I knew suddenly what I had to do.