Jinwoo wakes up with limp body. But most of all, he felt drowsy, and weird on his tongue. He tilted his head and looked to the window, where the drumming sound of rains aren’t present anymore. A golden ray seeped into his room, and then he realized it’s already morning. He felt something dangling on his ears when he moved his head. There’s a music played, he noticed, maybe he had awakened because of it. The music is still on, a gentle sound of violins and piano. When he sat up, he felt two earset on his ears, and they’re connected to a purple rectangular thing laid on his matress. An ipod.

Jinwoo stares at it, trying to recollect from where he got it there. Slowly, he began remember yesterday, the beeping answering machine, and the familiar ache he usually felt came back on his chest, albeit a bit dull. He winced when he tried to remove the blanket, there’s a pain stabbing at his feet. He remembered the broken bottles of pills, and he felt dumbfounded at the clean state of his room, no shards of glasses or sheets strewn on the floor. He blinks, still trying to find an answer when his eyes landed on a paper plastered to his bedlamp.

Jinwoo-hyung, there’s a final project for our class. I left your part on your desk. Everything is on the list. If you need something, I left my number below.

-Minho

He puts the paper back and found the said list laid on his bedside. When he walked out slowly, the living room is empty as well, it’s as if Mino didn’t enter that room at all. On the table though, there’s a bowl of soup served with spoon beside it. So Mino was there last night, and he finally remembered a bit, the headache, and the burning on his skin.

He’s startled when the phone is ringing. There’s a name and number flashed on his phone screen, a familiar name that has been trying to reach him. He bites his lip, guilty all over again after turning the call silent. Not a moment later, his other phone is ringing, beeping later on after he just stood and staring at it, with new messages flooding in. He stared some more, but didn’t press the button to open the voicemail. He turned away instead, walking into a room he had abandoned before. It’s a bit dusty, but the photographs there are still intact, plastered on a side of its four wall.

The polaroids are of him and Seunghoon, taken everytime they visit somewhere, but there are others consist of his face, taken when he’s not aware. There is one, plastered right in the middle, of Seunghoon alone. Jinwoo walked closer, reaching out a hand and touching it. Just like that, it’s as if he still could hear, could feel Seunghoon.

He felt tired.

Tired from running away. Of feeling haunted by something he didn’t know. He wanted this all to stop. Deep down he knew he’s afraid everything would be swept away in his hands, but everything he had tried would only push everything more. He hates that he couldn’t answer Seunghoon’s parents’ call. Hates that he didn’t reply any of Taehyun’s message. Taehyun, the person who had been there and welcoming him. Who still stayed there, just like Seunghoon, who still welcomed him with opened arms. If it’s not for Jinwoo, Taehyun would still be best friend with Seunghoon. If it’s not for Jinwoo, Lee Seunghoon wouldn’t need to go to Busan, and maybe would end up in some academy he had dreamed to be a part of.

He took it all away in one night. Without a chance to thank Seunghoon, to apologize to Seunghoon, for being selfish, for being complicated. He didn’t get to say, that Seunghoon was his sun amidst his grey rain. He could only stare that time, with a numb heart, as the coffin buried under the ground. If it’s not for Jinwoo, there would be no Mrs. Lee loosing his only son, the boy that she had raised with so much love and hope had gone forever. Jinwoo doesn’t deserve happiness, not when all he could do was taking away everyone’s.

He felt his knees weakened and slid down to the floor. But then he heard the door being opened, and when Jinwoo opened his eyes, Mino is there. He stared at him, wide eyed, but the younger mimics him just the same, staring with equally wide eyes. “I..” Mino starts, voice hesitant, and he’s real, he’s there, not just a shadow from his past that punished him. He wanted to say something, wanted to explain, wanted to ask why Mino is there, but all he could hear himslef utter was a choked sob. All he could feel himself doing is him reaching out a hand.  

He doesn’t know why, doesn’t understand why the tears suddenly fall, but he knew he can feel Mino’s arm taking his, the encircling him in an instant, pressing his face to his shoulder. He wanted to say that he’s sorry, that he just wanted this all to end, but Mino shushed him, rubbing circles on his back. “It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re okay” he heard Mino chanted, voice gentle.

It should be weird, but it’s not, Jinwoo felt anchored instead.

Jinwoo hugged him back, encircling his hands around Mino and cries.

*

A/n: Short chapter, but I hope it still portrayed the flow nicely. ^^