After that night at the practice room, Kyungsoo and Jongin became closer, sneaking sly and shy glances when one thinks that the other does not notice. Both grew accustomed to the presence of each other. The two would now freely interact as if Jongin was never ever scared of Kyungsoo. Both would smile fondly at the mere mention of the other’s name.

The other members would exchange meaningful looks and have these knowing smiles on their faces.

Both Jongin and Kyungsoo were of course oblivious to these exchanges for they were both busy replaying and replaying and replaying their moment back at the practice room.

Kyungsoo would blush upon remembering their proximity that night, he was able to see clearly how handsome Jongin really is, the unique crook of the younger’s nose makes Jongin’s aesthetics rather unforgettable. Kyungsoo hopes that a moment such as that night would be repeated, his heart warmed at the thought of having to be engulfed by that paralyzing sensation. Kyungsoo wants to remember them again, he wants to remember it with Jongin. He blushes at his own thoughts and chuckled heartily. Now what’s wrong with him?

Jongin would be lying if he said that he’s not bothered by the sudden changes between him and Kyungsoo. Now Jongin wonders why he was even afraid of the elder on the first place! Kyungsoo turned out to be not the scary person Jongin thought that he was. The elder was rather really kind and attentive, he would always look after Jongin, he would tolerate Jongin’s whining, he would cook good food and do a lot of those kind stuffs that makes Jongin feel guilty of avoiding the elder. Well Kyungsoo also nags a lot and is fond of strangling someone but hey everyone has these sides to them right? Jongin even finds it adorable how the elder would act, despite Kyungsoo’s petite body he was rather strong willed and he was generally cute, manly but cute, this contradiction surprisingly makes its way towards his heart.

Jongin, if he will be honest, is totally lost as to why and how he suddenly feels different about Kyungsoo. First he was all scared of the elder, then he finds his voice really captivating, then the elder does all these nice things towards him and most importantly that one night at the practice room. Even now Jongin’s heart would skip every time that he would look back towards that one moment, add in the fact that he envisions petals falling just because Kyungsoo was making his heart dance.

Jongin is in some serious .

He’s attracted to Kyungsoo.

It’s as simple and as complicated as that.

No matter how precious that moment back at the practice room felt, Jongin can’t afford to be messing his head. No matter how much he wanted to stay at that exact moment when their gazes locked and stayed for a minute too long, Jongin can’t afford to prioritize this yet. Their debut is scheduled two weeks from now and having all these confusion would drag him down. Just two more weeks and Jongin would finally be able to get closer to his dreams, Kyungsoo would also be a step closer, his other members as well, and that’s why he can’t afford to be distracted just yet. He can’t deny though that the prospect of Kyungsoo makes him happy, it’s just tha-

“Jongin-ah?”

Jongin’s inner musings were suddenly interrupted by Kyungsoo and he turned to face the elder.

“Yes hyung?”

Kyungsoo bit his lower lip. “Um are you busy?”

Jongin shook his head. “Not really, hyung. I was just uh I was just doing nothing.”

Kyungsoo beamed “Do you want to get bubble tea then?”

“With me, that is.” The elder added quickly.

“With you, hyung?”

“…yes, with me.”

Distraction my .

everything.

Jongin wasn’t about to pass this opportunity up.

“Call!”

Kyungsoo and Jongin sat side by side as they enjoyed their bubble tea.

“Thank you, hyung!”

“Sure. But next time you’ll be the one to pay for mine!”

“Next time?”

“…yeah, next time.”

“…sure hyung. Let’s do this again next time.”

The two sat in comfortable silence for a minute or two before Kyungsoo spoke.

“So in two weeks’ time we’ll be there Jongin-ah.”

“Yeah. I-I still can’t believe it hyung. I mean I never thought that all those hard work will really be paying off.”

“All those times when we never know if the company would still keep us or just throw us out. Yeah, I also can’t seem to grasp it yet too.”

“Let’s- let’s give it all we’ve got hyung.”

“Yeah, let’s do it, together with the members.”

The two enjoyed both the drink and the warmth that they felt as they stayed close to each other. They talked about everything and nothing at the same time, just content with being able to spend time together, alone, and basking in the feeling of contentment. They spent hours at the tea house, failing to notice the time slip by and it was a bit dark outside when Kyungsoo decided to drag Jongin back to the dorm.

“Come on Jongin, it’s already dark. The others would probably worry if we don’t go back now”

“But hyung! We’re already grown men! And besides it’s not that late yet!” Jongin whines.

“You’re still a baby Jongin-ah. And come on stop whining already, we should really head back now.”

Kyungsoo stood up and started his way out when he was stopped by Jongin’s grip on his arm.

Kyungsoo looked back at the younger and saw a mischievous glint on his eyes.

“Fine. But I won’t go home until we take a commemorative photo!”

Kyungsoo chuckled and gave in to the younger’s request. Puppy eyes, remember?

The remaining two weeks passed by in a blur, with the EXO members still not believing that they would be debuting tomorrow. Their instructor have them go home early so as to give the members the opportunity to calm their minds and relax their limbs. When they got home, the leaders, Yi Fan and Junmyeon, decided to gather everyone and do some encouragement.

“So guys, it’s finally tomorrow. We will be a step closer. It would be the start of everything.” Yi Fan started.

“Yeah, tomorrow every one of us would be able to shine, tomorrow let’s do our best!” Junmyeon beamed.

“Yeah let’s kick some asses tomorrow!” Chanyeol shouted

Everyone shouted their assent.

“EXO Saranghaja!”

After the pep talk and dinner with the members, Jongin lays awake on his bed. His mind’s in an overdrive, his heart in a messy state. Inside, he’s panicking, what if he messed up? What if the fans would not like them? What if an alien would appear right now and abduct him? What would happen to him? Would he not be able to debut?

Jongin sat right up on his bed. Ugh he can’t sleep! He ruffled his hair and decided that maybe some fresh air would help him. He silently made his way out of the room so as to not disturb Kyungsoo.

Jongin sat by the windowsill, letting the cold air wash up his face. He still can’t seem to relax himself, there are so many thoughts occupying his head, all this pressure, the nerves, the mere thought of reality, his own worries and of course Kyungsoo.

Jongin can’t seem to take Kyungsoo off his mind. After their bubble tea escapade and the number of pictures they’ve taken, Jongin would always find himself checking those pictures out. Kyungsoo looks cute even in pictures, he noted. Jongin was glad that we was able to coax the elder into taking pictures, inside Jongin was jumping wildly, glad that he could freely look at Kyungsoo’s face any time of the day and without the other members teasing him about it. He even remember almost setting one of their pictures as his phone wallpaper! Now that wouldn’t be funny, if ever one of the members would see it, he’ll be doomed, he’ll never be able to live out the humiliation. That’s why Jongin decided that looking at their pictures once in a while is his safest bet.

If he is to be honest, his admiration towards the elder continuously grows. Kyungsoo would, once in a while, occupy his thoughts, he can even feel the elder slipping in the gaps of his heart. Jongin would be lying if the prospect of him and Kyungsoo doesn’t get him all warm and fuzzy, it honestly works him up. Jongin wanted so badly to act up on what he feels but he can’t seem to do so because the only thing that he’s been working and dreaming for is just on his doorstep and he can’t ignore it, he won’t be able to. He knows in himself that he wouldn’t be able to invest all of himself to Kyungsoo because all his life it has always been dancing and dancing and more dancing. And Jongin knows that Kyungsoo deserves better, the elder doesn’t deserve half- assed people in his life, Kyungsoo is a good person, he deserves someone who is not indecisive, and Jongin is indecisive.

He hasn’t even considered Kyungsoo’s feelings. If even the elder is thinking of him as much as he does, it has been, by far, one sided on his part. Maybe Kyungsoo’s not even attracted to him, maybe he was just being a good hyung. Maybe he was feeling guilty of knowing that he scares the life out of Jongin before that’s why he’s being all nice to younger now. Kind is in Kyungsoo’s nature that’s why Jongin doesn’t want to come up with different assumptions just because his heart is the one doing the thinking for him. Jongin doesn’t want to assume, because it might bit him in the end.

Maybe Kyungsoo’s heart doesn’t even skip a beat for him.

All these thoughts left a bitter taste on Jongin’s mouth.

It’s bitter but it’s probably the truth.

Jongin would just have to accept that bitter possibility, besides he’s not even sure what to do, he only knows that he wants to keep the elder as close to him as possible, even if it means shutting out his own feelings. Because after all Jongin’s dream is already within his reach, he can’t afford to become selfish.

Jongin would just have to make Kyungsoo stay within arm’s length. He’ll make the elder stay there and Jongin would just have to keep him secretly inside his heart. He’ll just silently hold Kyungsoo close to his heart.

Jongin can do it.

He can…

He will just have to try harder.

Jongin had his eyes close when he heard shuffling form behind. He squinted and found Kyungsoo rubbing at his eyes cutely. Jongin’s heart swells at the sight.

“Hyung? Why are you up?”

Kyunngsoo slowly blinked twice. ‘When I woke up you weren’t on your bed…”

“…I was just getting some fresh air, hyung. I-I can’t sleep.”

When Kyungsoo woke up and he noticed that Jongin wasn’t on his bed, the elder began to worry. That’s why he got up from his bed and made his way outside their room in search for the younger.

Jongin seems to be thinking a lot lately. Just like now, Jongin wore this thoughtful expression when he’s thinking of something, Kyungsoo noticed. He’s worried for the younger, Jongin’s still young to be worrying and thinking that much. The younger has also been practicing harder than ever. Kyungsoo admittedly feels his heart accelerate as he would watch Jongin dance, Jongin’s passion for dance just radiates with his every movement, these radiations just about reaching Kyungsoo straight. He feels the pleasant thudding of his heart as he replays Jongin’s dancing but Kyungsoo can’t somehow ignore how Jongin’s dancing also gives him a heavy heart. It’s not that Jongin’s been slacking off, it’s the total opposite. The younger has been practicing so hard that Kyungsoo’s afraid that Jongin will break. There are times when Kyungsoo just wants to rip the music player and speakers into shreds because it’s making Jongin more vulnerable. The elder understands that dancing is the younger’s life but Kyungsoo wouldn’t be able to stand still as he watch Jongin’s own passion destroy him. They say that it would hurt because it matters, that it would hurt because you love it but Kyungsoo doesn’t want to see Jongin get hurt by the thing that he values the most. He wouldn’t want to see Jongin tip over the edge, Kyungsoo will not let that happen, he’ll fasten his grip on Jongin.

Kyungsoo will keep him from falling over, he’ll anchor him on the ground.

Jongin became important to Kyungsoo after all. He’ll have Jongin stay where he can watch him, where he can dote on him and keep him from falling.

“Why can’t you sleep, Jongin-ah?” Kyungsoo walks toward Jongin.

“I guess I’m just really nervous, hyung.”

Jongin watched as Kyungsoo approach him, when the elder was close enough he reached for Jongin’s hand. Kyungsoo made him stand up, the elder guiding them both towards the couch. Kyungsoo made Jongin sit, then he joins him on his right. Jongin’s heart is pleasantly thudding against his ribcage when it suddenly doubled because Kyungsoo reached for his hand, they stayed like that for a moment before Kyungsoo reached again for Jongin. Kyungsoo guided Jongin’s head on his shoulder.

Jongin’s heart is about to burst out because of the sudden intimacy, he finds it rather comfortable. With their hands clasped together, Jongin nestled on Kyungsoo’s shoulder, him being able to catch a whiff of the elder’s smell, the way it felt nice to have Kyungsoo his hair, to have Kyungsoo hum this close to his ears, the way Jongin’s close to having tears of contentment and happiness b in his eyes, these all feels too much yet Jongin decides that it’s okay. That he can bask on this moment first before he lets reality put a check on him tomorrow. That it’s okay to feel this way, even just for now.

The way his heart beats for Kyungsoo, it makes him want to never stop feeling this way. Jongin deduces that this is one of those moments that poets mostly write about, the way his heart fills with emotions that he would rather have expressed than repressed. Jongin wants to keep this moment locked up and safe within the comforts of his heart and his conscious.

“You can close your eyes now, Jongin-ah.”

Jongin’s eyelids felt heavy.

Tomorrow they would be debuting.

He can hear Kyungsoo’s hum, can feel the fast racing of his heart, his warmth, Kyungsoo’s everything.

“Goodnight, Jongin.”

Jongin closes his eyes.

He dreams of petals falling.

HOORAY FOR CHAPTER FOUR! PETALS FALLING HERE AND THERE HAHAHA. HOW FINE IT IS TO HAVE SUCH PLEASURABLE FEELINGS B FORM THE HEART <3 SO WHADDYA THINK?

THANK YOU FOR READING J

(p.s reexa I’ll have you dead hahaha jk honestly idk about this but it’s for you so I’m doing my best haha xoxo)