Like a raindrop, I'm not afraid of falling.
If I'm falling in love with you.
 

♫

Reina studied the hiragana letters with an intense gaze that'd burn through papers. One hand clutched onto her turquoise hand carry bag and another with fingers entwined with an open Japanese for Dummies searching for familiar letters. 
 

"Is it this way...." she peered at the tourists and locals alike scurrying up and down the long and wide airport walkway, "Or that."

It wasn't her first time overseas but it was the first time she decided on impulse to travel to a foreign country,

Alone.

Two month ago

"Hmmmmm, let's see." she scrolled down EXO The Lost Planet wikipedia page, trying to find out where their next venue was. They recently ended their last concert in Beijing and were busy with the EMTOWN Family concert. 

She her lips, eyeing at the clock. It was October 19th, 9 days after Luhan announced that he would be leaving EXO. Although it was rather saddening, it wasn't the first time it occurred and after Kris's issue, she was already numb to the after effects. And even more so, before the official announcement, she already got to know of his decision thanks to her-

Nevermind, that's not the point.

However, it urged Reina to watch the boys another time because, who knows when the next member will depart from the band? The last time she watched them was the May 25th concert in Seoul and the truth was she couldn't remember a single detail that occurred that day although she was seated front row. But back then she was busy staring at the fangirls and the amazing silver sea of lightsticks rather than focusing on the boys flawless faces.

Which she deeply regretted, thinking that she might be the only fangirl doing such a crazy thing.

"Oh!" her eyes trailed down to the bottom of the screen where their last concert would be held at, Osaka. Her lips tugged into a smile knowing that she had her term break during that period of time. That means... 

Present

The next minute she knew, it was already December 22nd and she was standing outside her hotel, flagging for a cab. Her iPhone vibrated in her pockets and she checked that it was her best friend Arisa's message.
 

EXO's in Hankyu International Hotel. (12:25pm)

EXO's headed for the stadium already. (13:03pm)

She rolled her eyes, stuffing the phone into her pocket. It was an embarrassing fact that her high school best friend was a sasaeng of D.O from EXO. Reina only knew about it when they were in Year 2 of high school, a sudden confession from Arisa after she stubbornly questioned her disappearance from the school. Not that it mattered of course because she had parents who were one of the largest shareholders in Samsung who constantly wrote in letters of apology for her disappearance and donated large sums of money to build the school's gymnasium.

She remembered scoffing at her friend who always made use of this power she was born with to get into music shows and receive insider informations. In other words a powerful and rich sasaeng who had nothing better to do. Well it was wrong being a sasaeng but she was Reina's friend after all. What else can she say about it? Furthermore she'd always receive live time updates about EXO and receive the albums before they were even released to public so how much better can it get?

"It is unfair but this is truly a world that depends on our daddies's rich pockets." Arisa shrugged, lazing on the desk. "I might become a full-time sasaeng once high school ends though."

"What about university? Your parents? Don't they say anything about it?" Reina's eyes doubled in size.

"They're busy and I'll just treat it as a gap year."

Being a sasaeng fan wasn't easy, that's what Arisa said all the time. The members never smiled at them once because it was way too easy to differentiate them from the normal fans with their gun-like DSLRs and it was always the same few people.

"You know that son of a b*tch, he ing yelled at us?!?!?! Seriously who does he think he is?" Arisa scoffed, stabbing her fork roughly into her cheesecake. "I swear one day that stuck up attitude of his will be EXO's downfall. And maybe Kyungsoo oppa will become the lead singer instead."

Reina rolled her eyes, thinking about why in the world did she have grudges against Baekhyun. "You wish."

The cold wind gusted, making her shiver in her already thick coat. The sky was looming dark and it was a forecast that there would be a rainfall though it was rare in such a timing of the year. Reina who did not pack an umbrella into her luggage spotted a convenience store at the corner of the street.

"K-konichiwa. Kasa?"

It literally translated into "Hi. Umbrella?" because that was how limited her Japanese vocabulary was after a crash course on the hour plane ride here. The polite employee ushered her down the long walkway of colorful packaged products to a corner where umbrellas were sold. She picked a black umbrella hanging on the wall and pushed it to her.

"Un." It wasn't a wonder that the employee knew that she wasn't Japanese because there was an influx of Koreans and Chinese in the hotel down the street. And the girl knew better than anyone else when almost everyone who came in wore an EXO t-shirt or carried one of their merchandises that these tourists were here for the concert. 

"U-un?"

The girl knitted her eyebrows and fished her hands into her pockets. Scribbling a kanji word quickly on her stickypad, Reina recognised the familiar hanja.


"Ahhhhh.... un." 

But what luck did she need? And wasn't black supposed to be ominous?

Although she wanted to buy a small umbrella which was easier to carry around, she shrugged and paid for it nonetheless. It was mid afternoon after weaving her way through the complex Japanese metro system, getting onto the wrong train and had to backtrack again wasting an entire hour and finally arrived before the concert hall mid-day. She grabbed a small banner from a fansite that wasn't too crowded with her favourite Jongdae oppa on it. Yes, Kim Jong Dae aka Chen was her first bias in EXO and still was. Though she liked the other boys as well, the highest spot in her heart was always reserved for the one who sang high pitched notes and soothing songs.

Reina found a spot near the doors and plopped down on a bench, watching the events occurring before her eyes. Though it was still early as the ticket stated that the doors opened at 6.30pm in the evening which was almost 2 hours away, the venue was bustling with life as if a carnival was going on. Volunteers and admins from fansites were distributing concert merchandises to support their biases and large banners were put up with the 10 faces celebrating their last concert venue which was held in Osaka. There were also mascots walking around, dressed up like their biases and it was a funny sight to see that the Japanese were so much more creative than the Koreans.

To be honest, she never was a hardcore fan. Maybe she was a hardcore fan back in the Wolf and Growl era, watching every single broadcast and voted for every single poll available on the Internet and recorded every episode of EXO Showtime that brought them to much more fame. However after "Krisis" her mentality of EXO changed alot and furthermore, she was already a 19 year old girl who should be over the highschool girl skipping school to fangirl over their oppas period which was how crazy her friends had been.

The very fact that she lived in Korea which was a highly stressful country with an insanely high suicidal rate, she was forced to learn 3 languages which was Korean, English and Chinese ever since she could barely utter a word. Not that she was hating on her parents but she knew it was for her own good. Still, she scrunched her nose every time her mind drifted back to those days in high school when she had to stay up until 3am in the morning to memorise Chinese idioms and English vocabulary which sounded weird on her tongue as well as completing the mountain stack of homework. But a year ago she was thanking her parents for forcing the languages onto her since she could understand all of the Chinese programmes EXO were on, which she was largely grateful for. 

Speaking of her family, their household was an utterly normal average 3 people Korean household. They lived in an average 4 room apartment in Dangsan-ro and her parents worked as producers for SBC, on the ever famous S! Countdown which starred the latest kpop songs on the show. You might have thought that she was insanely lucky to have parents working as producers in one of the largest media broadcasting system in Korea and that she'd probably get the privilege to enter the waiting rooms of idols or even be on the show itself as the producer's only daughter but,

No.

That was how reality was. Her parents were strictly against her focusing on these dancing idols which only crazy teenage girls with nothing better to do looked up to.

"No. Studies before anything else." her mom chided, "You think the idols you see on screen sing well?-"

"They lip sync." Reina's dad continued after her mom. He was furiously typing on his Macbook, occasionally looking up at the news playing on TV. "Few can sing, at all."

"Daddy is right, and are they pretty without their makeup and plastic surgery?"

"Mom, it's not like you didn't do your double eyelids."

"That was a minor surgery, anyways I had to do an eye surgery so why not do them all the same."

"How is that any different..." Reina mumbled under her breath.

Her mom coughed slightly in embarrassment before continuing again, "They are wrapped nicely with a ribbon on top before delivering to the public. You think they have such nice personalities off stage or that they are perfect? Don't be dreaming. Most of them are so stuck up I'd feel like throwing the script at their faces. Seriously? I am the producer here. Daddy, remember that guy from what's that group again? Infinite? That blondie was dating the girl from AOA and oh my god, why couldn't he just keep to that damn script."

"I know." Reina sighed, rolling her eyes at the same talk they had for the past few years. She was at the age where idol stars were everything to her so why were her producer parents dashing her dreams? They were matured adults who saw what goes on behind the scenes yet why couldn't they keep it to themselves instead of speaking of them openly in her face?

"Have you completed The Art of War?" 

"Yes mom," Reina sighed for the umpteen time. She was already eighteen and her only graduating high school wish was to watch the live S! Countdown that the EXO members were on. Yet, her mom refused again.

"Rei, you'd better start writing your portfolio for your university entrance. It's very important in order to get into one of the SKY universities."

"Dad I've written a paragraph already."

"Good, oh mommy," Reina's dad turned towards her mom. "Are we still putting that new rookie group on the show? What's their name called again?"

"A.Kor?" her mom tilted an eyebrow.

Her dad snapped his fingers, "Right! A.Kor! YG made a call to Jinwook hyung asking for them to be removed from the show."

"But don't forget that their CEO is the brother of the famous politician Mr Nah though..." her mom deliberated, "Is it alright to go head against head?"

"We can't offend YG as well. It's one way or another."

That was the fate of having producer parents plus a hardcore sasaeng girlfriend. She wanted to become a fangirl but couldn't even fangirl properly with them constantly sticking reality up in her face. The first idol group she fell for was Big Bang ever since their Blue album and her mom dropped the bomb that,

"Hey isn't he dating that Japanese Korean girl? Kiko was it?"

"Yeah, I didn't know what got into his eyes actually. That girl has a terrible reputation." her dad coolly continued.
 

Reina had to admit that she'd sometimes get curious about the members' personal lives and decided to go on the sasaeng sites and forums where the many discussions and truths were revealed. The sasaengs would dig out all the dirty secrets the idols had because they "loved" them and needed to know every single minute detail about them, practically living for them. But the secrets were only shared among their circle because if they were to spread, it wouldn't be good as it'd bring harm to the oppas they love. And more often than not, the information that these sasaengs had were real because some of them, she realised were just rich chaebol daughters who had nowhere to spend their money.

Exactly like Arisa.

Dirty, she sometimes scoffed to herself before the computer and rolled her eyes repeatedly that it already became a habit. Not the sasaengs who were dirty but the things that EXO members do which were. It slowly became a reality for her to accept that these idols were only normal human beings manipulated by the harsh Korean industry which constantly elimates the ones who do not make money. And frankly speaking even before Luhan's official announcement that he was leaving the group she already knew what was to come. She was on a Chinese forum and there was this thread by a Chinese sasaeng who followed EXO ever since their debut stating that Luhan was really sick and he was debating whether or not to leave EXO. The fact that the news wasn't updated on October 8 (which everyone had rumored it to be) was because when his best friend went to the hopsital to collect Luhan's official medical report, it wasn't available.

It had been bought away by a Japanese sasaeng.

These days, money really is everything.

Fangirling over EXO was kept a tight lipped secret from their parents but that secret wasn't kept long after her nosy mom decided to conduct a spring cleaning one fine weekend when she was staying overnight at a friend's and discovered the Growl album and numerous posters tucked away in her messy wardrobe.

"That Baekhyun kid is real stuck up ever since the Growl era, so what if they won those daesangs? Isn't it only because of their large fanbase and their crazily rich fangirls who have nothing better to do?" Reina's mom eyed her subtly, sending telepathy thoughts.

"I'm not one of them." Reina reiterated.

"And god, do I have to smile in the camera and say that they are one of the most polite idols I've ever seen? Screw SM and their money." her mom threw her hands in the air frustrated. "I swear one day Baekhyun will be screwed over by his own sasaengs with that y attitude."

"That's impossible, they're so high up there now."
 

And a few months later after her mom said that sentence with Reina denying her proposal the entire time though what her mom said was exactly what her sasaeng fan informed her of, the news report busted their dating "secret".

"Hey you know Cispatch got their photograph?" Arisa grinned, knowing that Reina loved these boys to bits. Her playful friend just loved to see that agonising look on her face.

"Don't tell me." Reina wagged an angry finger at her.

"Guess what, his own sasaengs gave the pictures to Cispatch and no matter how much money SM wants to bribe them with, they said no." Arisa shrugged nonchalantly. "They are so damn sure to screw him over this time."

"That's his own fault for not knowing how to act in front of the sasaengs."

There were so much more underground information that she had, having the benefits of being the daughter of two producers as well as from her bestie. And the reason why she loved Kim Jong Dae aka Chen?

Well he was the sweetest of them all and there wasn't much about his character and anything else that comes with it which Arisa commented about. Even her parents thought that this guy was the best out of EXO and seldom rubbed dirt on his face.

"He knows how to act in front of the camera and everyone's gotta admit he's gifted with a real angelic voice. There's practically no need to lip sync if TM actually agrees." her mom raised an eyebrow watching the pre-recording of their S! Countdown.

"That guy will slowly rise to the top for sure." his dad smiled.

And so that was the story of how Reina was currently sitting on a bench in Osaka, Japan holding a Kim Jong Dae banner instead of being back in her university dorm sleeping her holidays away. The soft drip-drip-drip of tiny raindrops brought her back to reality as she realised the rain was pelting down heavier than a few seconds ago. All the fansite staff scrambled to pack up their materials and looked for a safer place to hide from the rain which was the stadium's link bridge to the metro system in the basement. Opening her large umbrella, she sat on the bench plugging into her favourite song as she stared at the empty square garden.

Oh, she hated the rain.

Just as she was about to stand up and seek for shelter as well, she spotted a lonesome figure standing in the corner, back leaning against the stadium walls. From afar, the lonely figure donned a full black outfit with a hood covering his or her head with his back facing hers. She bit her lips, titling her umbrella upwards. The grey sky flashed yellow stripes of lightening occasionally and the rain was pelting down even heavier than before. It wasn't a good idea to be bathing in the rain in winter.

Reina wasn't really a nice person or bothered about anyone's wellbeing but-

She sighed, trudging up to the person. The person did not seem to have sensed her presence and she did the most absurd thing one could do this moment.

Sharing her umbrella.