Breathing. It’s what I do best.

Sometimes I feel like that my only goal in life is to keep breathing.

That is one of the thing I would never tell another living soul. Not my dads, not my family, and especially not my best friend Minah. I would earn a couple of smacks for that but it’s honestly just how I feel. Like a part of me has been ripped away therefore being healthy and breathing is all I have left. It’s like existing. You’re just there. Kind of like a speck of dust. You float around aimlessly and everyone knows you’re there but choose not to acknowledge you.

During middle school you could say I ways bullied quite a bit because everyone thought I was and orphan. News flash just because someone doesn’t speak of their parents doesn’t mean they’re and orphan! So you know one thing lead to another and ultimately I ended up blowing up in my seventh grade class’s face. Let just say it wasn’t very pretty and I screamed something along the lines of “I’m not an orphan I just have two dads you ignorant faces!” Since then I’ve been known as ‘The quiet girl with major daddy issues’ or my least favorite ‘The girl with fags for dads’.

Minah has always stood up for me since we were little but it all kind of died down after that incident because… well I scared people and with that her duties as my guardian died down a bit. I was quiet and called my class a group of ignorant faces who wouldn’t be freaked out.

Rumors spread like colds during the first month of back to school. My favorite one had to be that I put some guy in the hospital by choking him out with some kimchi after he asked me for a pencil but hey that’s just me. Of course my dad was furious about the situation. I had to stop his scrawny little self from ripping the principle a new .

He’s not pleasant when he’s mad which is why my dad and I call him Satansoo. Speaking of which yes biologically I am the daughter of Kim Jongin but technically I am also the daughter of Do Kyungsoo as well. It’s confusing but it’s all I’ve ever known. At first I called Kyungsoo mommy but then learned in my wonderful sixth grade class that two men cannot procreate. Thank you Mrs. Jung for ruining my life. 

I thought my daddy Nini was going to faint when I asked him about that subject after school he began mumbling something along the lines of ‘Oh god it’s time, I wasn’t prepared for this. She’s going to need the baby talk. Puberty oh lord.’ Needless to say they made me go to my Aunt Chae-in because she would know much better than them. Secretly it was a blessing in disguise and saved me the awkwardness.

High school hasn’t been much better though. People still avoid me and mostly get on my nerves but other than that puberty has been a blessing for me. You could say it hit me like a train because lord am I fine as in an awkward look just like my dad kind of way. But as my own completely different self I am beautiful. Yeah that probabl