For syazygirl ^-^ I hope it's okay~!

Please, Please
Kai & Cha Jaerin

her teeth, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet, Jaerin stared up at the tall building in front of her with butterflies in her stomach and a hummingbird in her heart. The air outside was chilled enough that she breathed clouds, but the two piping hot coffees in her hands helped keep her fingers warm, the smell safe and comforting.

Aiiiish, why is this so hard…

She had been standing there for a few minutes by now, garnering some strange looks from passers by as she never took her eyes off the windows higher up, calculating which floor he was on, which room would he be in, can he see me?

… Really… Jaerin… pull yourself together…

It had been a month since she’d last seen her estranged boyfriend. After travelling around for music shows, he had most likely holed himself up in a practice room - it was something he was prone to doing before important stages, or whenever he felt unsatisfied in his performance. He would text, call every now and then - but her last message had gone unreplied to for a few weeks itself now, and honestly she was getting a little sick of his blatant indifference.

Going into the relationship, she knew it would be hard. An idol’s life is super busy, and constantly under scrutiny, but Kai had promised to talk to her everyday. To keep her company on nights he couldn’t be there to warm her flat, to send pictures of his smile when she was down; even if there was just one sentence saying goodnight. Anything was enough to let her know she was in his thoughts, no matter the distance.

But now, living in the same city, she just felt… forgotten.

Okay, you can do this, you’ve done it before! Fighting! She cheered in her head, raising one cup in a gesture, before taking a deep breath and setting forward.

The ID card hanging around her neck let her in, the security nodding theirs heads in a polite greeting. It wasn’t often she visited the practice rooms, but everyone had been made aware of her after that ‘one incident’ - safe to say, being accused a sasaeng was not high on her list of fun-things-that-have-happened.

With every floor she rose past in the lift, the kaleidoscope of butterflies increased tenfold. Kai’s favourite studio was on the 6th, and by the time the elevator arrived there she could barely even breathe without shaking.

It feels like we’re newly dating again, she mused with a hint of bitterness, tensing up as she heard familiar voices float down the corridor. Sometimes the members would lounge around in the resting area on their breaks, and she felt herself being drawn to them, curious if Kai was relaxing too.

Chanyeol was the first to notice her, seated opposite the corridor entrance, and his face fell in shock.

"Jaerin-ah! W-what are you doing here?"

Mwoh? That’s how he says hi after a few weeks? She pouted, raising an eyebrow at the usually happy-go-lucky giant. “Tsch, what a way to greet me. Hello to you too, oppa,” she replied, sticking her tongue out.

Sehun quietly stood up from his seat and walked over to her, placing a hand on her arm as he frowned. “… Um… you’re here to see Kai-hyung, right? I’m not sure it’s a good idea at the minute, Jaerin-ah.” His voice was calm, but he looked a little nervous himself, inadvertently glancing to the closed door down the hall. She could hear music faintly, fast paced with a heavy beat, and she shot him a confused look.

"Why would it not be a good idea…? We haven’t seen each other in a month…"

The boys glanced at each other awkwardly, debating on what to say that would stop her, before Kyungsoo eventually just decided on the truth.

"He took a pretty bad fall in a routine the other week… he’s been beating himself up over it. I haven’t seen him leave that room for anything but food and restroom," he said, sighing. "You know how he gets over his dancing, Jaerin-ah. It’s best to let him work the stress out."

A fall…? She couldn’t help but frown. He should have called her, he should have said something so she could help. “Yah… he’s not the only one who’s suffering, y’know?” She said softly, her gaze drooping. “He doesn’t talk to me for days at a time. Never tells me he’s okay, what he’s up to. I’m supposed to be his girlfriend, I’m meant to care about these things… How can I to support him if he doesn’t tell me whats going on? It’s getting harder and harder to keep up with him…”

"… Jaerin?" Suho’s voice was soft, and he stood up, moving over to put a comforting hand in her shoulder. "Is everything okay between you two?"

Her eyes were trained on the coffees warming her hands, thumb tracing over the logo absently. What did she say to that? Yeah, I’m just being a bit clingy. No, she wasn’t. This was something that had been bothering her for a while, something that couples fought and split over all the time. Was it coming to an end? Was that why the atmosphere felt so bad to her?

I don’t want to, she thought to herself, sadly. All I want is to be able to talk to him properly.

She didn’t realise a tear had escaped until it reached her lip, salty as she hurriedly wiped it away in the crook of her arm. “I-It’s fine. I’m fine. This was a bad idea… I’m gonna drop this off then go.”

"Ah, Jae…"

She didn’t spare a glance as she turned towards the door, her heart already sinking with every step. What was she supposed to do? Just go about pretending nothing was wrong?

She reached the door before she could come up with an answer. The music inside was too loud, so there was no point in knocking - but before she could it nudge open, it opened of its own accord.

And there he was, in all his glory.

Biceps exposed in his vest; long, muscular legs revealed in his baggy shorts. His trainers squeaked against the wood, sweat dripping from the ends of his blonde hair, rolling down his shoulders. The expression he wore was focused and fierce, glaring down at his visitor, and he pretty much commanded the attention of everyone in the area.

"K-Kai," she squeaked, automatically stepping backwards.

He watched her closely, his expression never changing. Jaerin could see bruises all over his skin, scrapes and scuffs on his knees. He must have been in so much pain, and he had said nothing. “Why are you here?”

His voice was unexpectedly bitter, and it sent shivers racing down her spine, as she her lips and tried to call back her confidence. “U-Um, I brought you coffee, I thought you might want some… you’ve been practising non-stop. I-I missed you…”

"Yeah, well, I don’t want it. You know you shouldn’t visit me at work." He brushed past her, heading towards the restroom further up the corridor. The rest of the members awkwardly watched what they could see from the seating area, as she froze on the spot, staring at where he once stood.

Has he always been this cold…?

"Kai," she called again, breaking her gaze and walking after him. "Kai, please, you need to rest, at least."

"Go away."

"Talk to me… I want to help you. You’ve been practising non-stop…"

"I’m not in the mood, Jaerin."

"Jongin-"

"I said, go AWAY!"

It came as such a surprise that even Kai himself widened his eyes. He had spun around so quickly, so furiously - but all that instantly vanished as he saw her standing there clutching the coffee, her face flushing as she tried her best to hold down the tears. It wasn’t often she used his real name. She liked to call him Kai, since it was casual and familiar. But he knew, once the word fell from her lips, that he had done something wrong. He had hurt her.

"Maybe I will," she said shortly, her voice wobbling thought she tried to stay strong. "Maybe I will go away, since you obviously don’t want me. I guess you were trying to tell me something by ignoring me for a month, huh? Sorry for not getting it."

"… I…"

"This was for you." She pushed a coffee into his hands, making him stumble backwards as he tried not to spill it. "I’m done. I’ll save you the trouble, hm?" She spat as her voice cracked and the tears finally began to pour down her cheeks, spinning on her heel and marching away from his frozen figure.

The boys in the seating area were wide eyed, mouths open. It was so so unbelievably awkward, but everyone was too in shock to move. Chanyeol jumped as she shoved her untouched cup at him, in disbelief at what he was watching. Did she just…? Did they just…? “Jae…?”

"I-I’m sorry you had to s-see this," she whispered, stuttering over her words as she smiled sadly. And with one final, tear-stained glance at her supposed boyfriend, she stormed towards the elevators and out of their lives.

It was deathly silent on floor 6.

Kai couldn’t comprehend what just happened. Did she just break up with him? Was she serious? Though he didn’t move, his thoughts were panicking - what if this really was it? I don’t wanna lose her. I don’t wanna lose her.

"Kai, let me tell you this in place of everyone," Baekhyun broke the silence, standing up from the sofa. He knew his bandmates were much too nice to say anything. "You, are an ."

Kai just stood there, staring at him, still in shock.

"You ignored her for a month, dude. It’s only normal this would happen, right? To be honest, I’m surprised she held out as long as she did…"

"Hyung…" Sehun put his hand on his arm, biting his lip. "Don’t you think that’s too harsh?"

Baekhyun frowned. “No way. I would never treat my girl like that. You need to pull yourself together, Jongin.”

Hearing his real name again, in such a short space of time, made him return to his senses, as he looked up from the coffee he’d been staring at to watch Baekhyun with sharp eyes. He was right. He had been an . The worst boyfriend in the world. And he couldn’t even blame it on being an idol, since it was his choice to hide in the practice rooms.

Was that it? He was hiding? Hiding because he didn’t know how to explain himself, to explain his absense in her life. Because he felt guilty everytime he came home and passed out, before leaving again in the morning. His actions were starting to weigh down his heart, but when he tried to imagine these scenarios without her face there…

I can’t do it.

Before anyone could taunt him more he stormed forward, following in his lover’s footsteps as he shoved his coffee into Chanyeol’s free hand, not once looking back despite them calling his name. Further, futher, almost running now, he made his way down the corridor - she has to be there, please, please - and just as the elevator doors were about to close on her tear stained face, he slipped through the crack, crashing into her and sending them flying towards the back wall.

But he wrapped her up in his arms. He locked his grip, as he felt the elevator begin to descend, and breathed in the scent of her shampoo, not moving from that spot.

"I am so sorry," he whispered, his voice cracking in the middle as he tried to keep his composure, feeling her body tense up beneath him. "I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve you at all. I’ve been an these past couple of months and I can’t even begin to think how hard it must have been for you."

"J-Jongin…?"

"I’ll be better in the future. I promise. I didn’t mean what I said, I-I don’t want you to go away! I don’t want you to leave me. I don’t deserve you but I’m selfish. Please… please don’t leave me."

He felt her fingers tapping against his chest and he pulled back to look her in the eye, face flushing from trying to keep back tears. Jaerin’s heart just about broke right there, but she was mad at him. She was supposed to be mad at him. And yet why was she wavering? Seeing him breaking down so desperately, after his anger only moments before…

They reached the bottom floor and the doors opened, but neither made a move. They simply watched each other, silently pleading with their eyes, her sizing up his sincerity.

And then she sniffed, leaning around him to press the button for the sixth floor again. She wasn’t about to just throw away two years like it was nothing.

"Get your coat… we’ll talk about this over coffee."