“Hand me the jam,” Jessica beckoned her hand, pointing to a jar of strawberry jam across from her seat. “Oh, and also the butter,” she looked up to Tiffany and smiled. “Please.”

“I’m not giving you the butter,” Tiffany shook her head and tossed the other the jar. “Just eat the toast with the jam. No butter.”

“I want the butter,” she rose from her seat, pouting, hands reaching out to the butter beside Tiffany. “I don’t get why you’re—”

Tiffany quickly grabbed the butter and clutched it. “Because it’s not healthy—”

“—holding a grudge toward butter but—”

“—and because it’s a weird combination. So eat your toast only with the jam or don’t eat at all.”

“—it’s freaking good! Tiffany,” she whined, falling back to her seat, “just this once, please? We can go back living the healthy life you want tomorrow.”

“No,” Tiffany shook her head firmly, leaving no room for arguments. “You said the same thing yesterday and today, I swear, I’m not falling for your wicked trickery. So no butter for you, miss.”

Jessica pouted, but Tiffany wasn’t even looking at her. Stubborn, Jessica groused and exhaled.

“Tiffany, darling,” she sweetly called, batting her eyelashes. “What if you give me the butter I’ll give you a kiss? A long hot and very steamy kiss. How’s that sound, my dear?”

“Boring,” Tiffany said, smiling, and spread her toast with the jam. “Now shut up and eat your toast, Jessica Jung.”

“.”

“You love me.”

“I don’t.”

“You do.”

“Oh shut up.”

Tiffany laughed, and Jessica followed not long after.

+

Tiffany never knew before that she’s into girls until she met Jessica.

Up to that point, she was entirely convinced that she’s straight and only had been interested with boys. She never thought about the possibility that she could be gay, and even the thought scared her. It was a real taboo thing for her—liking the same gender—but as soon as Jessica stepped into the picture, everything changed.

Jessica came at the right time, the right moment, and there was just no stopping from there. From the way the other pouts childishly to the way the other laughs, Tiffany fell for all of them. It was terrifying, at first, but thanks to Taeyeon and her guide to “gay world”, as she liked to put it, Tiffany eventually accepted herself.

(“Taeyeon, you know what, last night I was seriously considering whether I was a biual or not but I don’t think so because I have only liked one girl but, damn it, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, if you like a person, you like the person, not their s. Am I right?”

Taeyeon didn’t answer but breathed into the microphone.

“Oi, answer me.”

“Right, you’re right, and I’m proud of you,” she finally said, “and from now on I expect you to always be ready and accept yourself because you’re a new person. It will not be easy, you know?”

Tiffany sighed. “I know.”

“You have me, though.”)

+

“Mom called this morning,” Jessica said as she sat down on the couch beside Tiffany, forcefully scooting the other over. “Dad called, too.”

Tiffany bit her lip and pressed it into thin line. “Why did they call you?”

“You know,” she paused, her chapped lips. “Usual stuff.”

“Usual stuff as in,” she said unsurely, “marriage?”

Jessica nodded and stared straight to the television. “They want me to get married. Like always.”

“Like always,” Tiffany nodded, agreeing. She took a deep breath and held the other’s hand. “Hey, do you want to get married, Jess?”

“You know the answer, Tiffany,” Jessica smiled weakly. “But you know it’s impossible.”

“I know,” Tiffany rasped and looked away, brushing her thumb over Jessica’s knuckles. “If only one of us were born as a man.”

“If only,” Jessica whispered, “if only there’s a place for us here.”

“Yeah,” Tiffany laid her head on Jessica’s shoulder. “I’d marry you and adopt a lot of beautiful children, and raise them together with you.”

“That would be wonderful,” Jessica nodded. “If only it’s possible.”

They didn’t say a word for a minute, enjoying the warmth their bodies provided and listening to the music playing from the television. It was peaceful, and they desperately wished the time to prolong at this moment. So they could be together longer, longer, and perhaps eventually they wouldn’t have to part ways.

“You know,” Tiffany broke the silence. “I love you.”

“I know,” Jessica laughed and Tiffany smiled. “I love you too.”

“I love you Jess,” Tiffany said again, “and if your parents want you to get married, I’ll find the right man for you. I mean, I don’t want you to get married to some random man.”

“Tiffany…”

“It’s for you,” Tiffany held the other’s tighter and exhaled. “It’s for me, too.”

Jessica didn’t say a word, but she entwined her hand with Tiffany’s and nodded. They tried not to feel how much it hurt them.