title (5/5):*PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. THERE WILL BE SPOILERS* This title very well suits the story. The OC usually has thoughts about taking her own life, and she, on a basis, goes to the pool that her brother "drowned" in. She wants to feel how her brother felt when he jumped, and so the water is "pulling her under." It's difficult to explain, but I liked the title and it wasn't one-worded like how typical oneshots are.

Description and foreword (9/10): The description and foreword is plain and easy to read, but I find it unique. As stated in your description, "Drowning" can mean all sorts of things. It could mean that you are unable to physically breathe or inhale oxygen underwater, or it could mean that you are struggling with life, etc. I usually like descriptions and forewords that are plain like this, but I only took off one point because the summary included is a bit short, and I understand it if you like to keep it short, but the reader needs to have more of an idea of what the story is about so they can further read the story. That was just a suggestion, but I find that your description/foreword is already appealing in the way it is.

characters (20/20): Although there are only two possible main characters, I find that your characters are quirky: they have unexpected hobbies or traits. "Nameless" (as Sehun calls her) is fighting with herself because she misses her brother, Jongup, who unfortunately drowned in an accident three years ago. She has weaknesses of her own, and so does Sehun, the "Baseball Boy" whom Nameless meets when she was reenacting the scene of her brother's last moments before being hospitalized and Sehun had saved her. Sehun is a "commoner" who gets bullied everyday by the "Royals." He plays baseball, and although this is somewhat unimportant, it was the day he was playing baseball that he first meet Nameless. There are also characters in between Nameless and Sehun. There are Nameless's parents. Her mom just wants her to be a normal teenage girl, and she has Nameless seeing a therapist because she thinks that Nameless is under depression. We also know Nameless's stepfather and he also introduced her to Jongup: her stepbrother. Then we meet Sora, Sehun's little-spoken-of sister, and his father who left the family when Sehun was nine and has never returned since then. All the characters have a good role in the story, and I think you did a proper job of planning them out :D

Plot (1920/20):Of course, I really ADORED your plot ^^ Plots are usually my favorite things in stories, but in your story, it was especially my favorite! Nameless is a mysterious girl who is grieving that her stepbrother is stuck in a coma in the hospital because of some unhappy events that happened three years ago. Sehun is a baseball player whom gets bullied everyday by so called, "Royals," who are not so Royal as their title says they are to be. When their paths meet, they find they have more in relation than they thought that did. Sehun understands Nameless's pain, as Nameless understands Sehun's pain. There are MANY exciting plot twists throughout the story, and I was really surprised that you added them because most stories are cliches and overused, and usually no plot twists are added. My favorite plot twist was when Nameless and Sehun didn't meet each other again after Sehun told her that he had been named a Royal again. Although it was pretty sad and I would've favored a different ending, I like it because it is so unique for authors to have twist/sad endings to their stories. Props to you!

flow (15/15): The flow is, obviously, fantastic and a job well done! I have nothing to complain about ><

Grammar and choice of words (19/20): Of course, you have wonderful and many "spicy" words used in your story. The only complant I have is that there are quite some errors, although if they were typos: I would understand.
Original: "It's been a long day, I'm going to sleep." I murmur.
Revision: "It's been a long day, I'm going to sleep," I murmur.
I know it's just a little tiny thing, that you didn't put a comma after this, but there were some of them in the story, and I just wanted to point them out. You only put periods if there is nothing stating that the person is talking at the end. For example, "It's been a long day, I'm going to sleep." (There is no "I murmur.")
Original: She can swim close to the bottom and trap myself so she won't come back up.
Revision: She can swim close to the bottom and trap HERSELF so she won't come back up.
Again, nothing big, but I think that was just a typo because you switch from different points of views in the story.
Original: Where were when in his last moments?
Revision: Where were YOU when YOU WERE in his last moments?
I'm pretty sure that is another typo, and I think that's what you were trying to say. Otherwise, excellent job on grammar and spelling!

overall Enjoyment (10/10):I really liked your story! There were a lot of surprising plot twists, and some really got me off track ;P And I would of liked a happy ending, but I find it rare and special when authors have sad endings to their story as well. Sehun and Nameless's relationship remains unknown due to the ending of the story, and we get a little of Jongup's point of view at the end when he wakes up, so that was really thrilling for me because I didn't think he was going to wake up! Again, I enjoyed your story and I'm planning on to read more of your stories! ^^

Link To Story

Link to Author

Author: colorfulsky/mistressdean

Characters: OC, Sehun (EXO)

Genre:  Angst, Family, Friendship

summary: When Sehun meets a nameless girl, he learns a new meaning of drowning.
.Type: One-Shot

Status: Completed

“...It's like drowning except you can see everyone breathing."