It's probably the 30th time for me to replay this song as I drag my suitcase along with me. Today is the second time I've been here, in Seoul, South Korea. My eyes keep on soaring the airport and finally found a bald man with his moustache and beard adorn his pale snowy face and those thick lenses cover his tiny narrow brown eyes who's holding a board with my name written on it. 

"Miss Allene Han?" he asked kindly in English with his local dialect. I nod my head lightly and then he takes my suitcase with him and I follow him to the car. The journey to my mom's house is kinda quiet. Probably because either him or I never start a conversation. I'm too jet lag and I feel like a walking zombie. All I need is to sleep. 

My eyes are getting heavier and heavier when suddenly the driver man brakes. I open my eyes immediately due to the sudden shock and glare at him with my perplexed face. 

"What's happening?" I questioned. He seems doesn't understand what am I talking about and I just realize that I'm in South Korea right now. 

"What's happening?" I asked again in Korean. "I'm sorry, Ms. but the road is closed. I was on a high speed before and I just realize that today this road isn't functioning," he explained. 

"Isn't functioning? But why?" I can't understand what's really happening right now. A closed road? It's ridiculous. 

"The Kim Corporation is having new office inauguration along this road and so they asked to close this road for today."

"How could it? It's just a silly office inauguration and they need to close the road?!" 

"But miss, don't you know that The Kim Corporation is the biggest company in Korea? It does effect the economy in here and they play the biggest role in bussiness," he said. I am left speechless. There's nothing more I could say regarding this cause that friggin Kim Corporation must be the most important company here. 

Around 15 minutes later, I arrived at my mom's house. There's so much difference since I went here for about 11 years ago. She did some renovations as I can see that there's no more cracking wall shown. She lets the wild flowered plants vine along the two pillars of this house and the garden in front of it isn't well maintained. I take a step and knock the door. Unfortunatelly there's no answer. 

"Eomma?" I knock once more. Still, no answer. When I'm about to open the door, I found a piece of paper lying down on the floor. I grab it and open it. 

Dear Aerin, 

Welcome home! I hope you enjoy your flight and your journey on the way here. I'm sorry but probably when you've arrived here I'm not at home. I have several things to be settled and I have to work. Maybe I'll be here tomorrow morning but don't worry cause I've prepared your dinner inside. Just open the refrigerator and heat the kimchi soup and galbi I bought. If you want some snacks I have ddeokbokki there also. Your room is in the second floor next to the balcony. 

Jung Yumi. 

Great. Nobody's at home and nobody greets me. Her job is more important than I am, even after 11 years not meeting each other, she has no intention to at least pick me up from the airport or stay at home for a while to greet me. 

I lifelessly open the door and enter the house. So quiet and not neat. Bottles of vodka everywhere, chips are scattered on the floor and I even found a single small cigarette there. I am so shock to death that I found out that my mom's a smoker and a drinker. Flashback to 11 years ago, when I was 8. My mom and dad divorced and they were fighting crazilly. I was so scared and flabbergasted, watching those unfaithful words coming from those mouth. 

I never live in a condition of a good family. Yes we were living in one roof, but either my dad or my mom were at home. Sometimes I left at home alone. Yeah, I was left alone when I was still a young girl. But hey I am so independent, I can do things by my own since I was so young. After the divorced, my mom didn't want to take care of me, either my dad. They both didn't want me to come with them and so my uncle from my dad's side took the responsibility of me. He was living in America. It looks like I was going with my dad but actually we only live in the same roof. Dad's living with my uncle and his wife. 

9 years passed and my uncle died due to an accident. I cried really hard and I barely wanted to eat or sleep. He means everything to me and I couldn't accept the reality that he's leaving this fast. I was left with my auntie. She loves me so much like I am literally her child (cause she has no child) until that day when she also left me because of heart attack. I felt so hopeless and I'm dying. I wanted to kill my self but then I remember what my uncle said to me that I should appreciate life.

My dad was dating someone from his company for around 2 years already, a local young lady and they're married a week ago. Of course they don't want me to be with them so my dad called my mom to take care of me. He said that it's her responsibility now since he'd finished his part. 

I feel like I am a useless thing. They just keep on passing me like I am really a thing. I am priceless. 

With a heavy heart, my mom accepted me and let me stay with her. 

Back to me right now, even if I am so tired and jet lag, I decided to clean this house and make it neat. Maybe my mom's that busy until she cannot manage this house alone. 

Sweeping the floor, cleaning the table, throwing the vodkas away and mopping the floor are really tiring. I have no energy left and so I decided to stop. Opening the refrigerator, craving for a cold water but sadly no water here. The refrigerator is full with alcohols and some juices. No choice, I take the orange juice and immediately take some gulps as in I am really exhausted. 

After cleaning, I go upstairs and it's time for me to clean my self. 

Hot water flowing through my milky skin, travelling down to my long skinny legs as I let my face wetted due to my demanding body for relaxation. 

As I soap my body, the memories of this house keep on running on my mind. How lonely I was, how sad and overwhelmed I was as I feel beads of tears smoothly flowing from my eyes, mixing with the hot water.

Why am I crying right now? I am used to this, right? I am used to be not loved and not cared.

 I never know what is it to be loved by our own parents, I never really understand the meaning of love. 

How do you describe love?

Hello dear readers! First of all, thank you for reading my very first story. I am really glad and looking forward for your comments, subscribes and upvotes! :) I hope you guys enjoy this first chapter and the next chapter will be involving exo! I hope you guys will look forward to it. Once again, thank you! ;)