the pain behind the glam

(YG Trapped Prologue)

 

 

 

 

Her last memory was her cry of agony as her body seemed to be tearing into pieces but she could vaguely remember the excruciating pain. Still, she was scared to open her eyes. She wasn’t aware how long she’s been unconscious and she wasn’t so keen on waking up.

 

 

 

Yet now, she was.

 

 

 

She could feel the glare of the sunlight against her eyes. She could feel the cold wind against her skin. 

 

 

 

And she could hear his voice.

 

 

 

“Jiyong? Is he here?”, she thought to herself.

 

 

 

She hears a whimper followed by a “Shhhhhh”, then it was quiet again. Warm hands engulf her own and she squints her eyes. It hurt to open them.

 

 

 

“Hi, beautiful.”, he whispers before kissing her brow.

 

 

 

She tried to voice out a request but she could hardly swallow and then she feels something cold against her lips.

 

 

 

“Here’s some water.”, Jiyong says. “I was told you’ll be thirsty and hungry when you wake.”

 

 

 

She takes a sip and moistens her lips but her eyes remained closed.

 

 

 

“The babies…”, her first words. “Are they alive?”

 

 

 

“Open your eyes so you can see them.”, he says then her hands become cold again as it lost contact. She hears a scrape of a chair and knew that he must have gone to get the twins.

 

 

 

Slowly, even when her lids felt so heavy, Dara managed to open them and they lay on her little bundles of joy carried by the only man she had loved all these years.

 

 

 

Jiyong walked over to Dara, and carefully lay the babies in her arms. He saw the tears fall from her eyes as she holds the little ones. He knew that Dara wanted to know what happened when she gave birth to them. She vaguely remembers every detail. She felt like she’s been put to sleep for days.

 

 

 

“How many days was I out?”, Dara asked.

 

 

 

“You weren’t really out. You were awake then you would be in so much pain then I would ask the nurse to sedate you. I didn’t want you to suffer more. The twins were inside an incubator for a week but Bommie-noona saw to it that the machine was brought here. She didn’t want you to wake up without seeing them. She knew you’d be freaking out.”

 

 

 

“Incubator? Right, they were premature.”

 

 

 

“The doctor said that the twins were term but of course they were small so that probably messed up with the dating. The first one, she had a loud cry and was screaming the moment she was born.”

 

 

 

“I remember.”, Dara smiles. “I heard her cry before I totally out. The pain was unbearable, I thought I was breaking in half. How about this little one?” Dara looked to her left and kissed the little head peeking from the pink blanket.

 

 

 

“She had a hard time coming out since you passed out from the pain. The doctors had to use their tools to pull her out. They couldn’t operate on you. Our place was hardly sterile. Bommie-noona was here and she gave the consent for the procedures. I was on the phone, of course, and she was shouting at me too. I told them to do everything they can to save our baby.”

 

 

 

“I’m sorry, baby.”, Dara whispered. “You could have died because of me.”

 

 

 

“No, Dara. Please don’t.”, Jiyong squeezed her hand. “You’ve been so strong through it all. And our baby is a survivor. The doctors said, she will improve in the coming days. Look at her now! She wasn’t this small a week ago.”

 

 

 

Jiyong assured his wife although the memory of that phone call seemed like a nightmare he never want to live thru ever again. He was in another country, filming a music video, when he got the call and told his best friend and manager that he won’t be able to do much. He cancelled and went back to the hotel, freaking out at every sound of Dara’s screams. He remembered Minzy asking if she should hang up but Jiyong screamed no. He wanted to hear Dara and even if he wasn’t with them, he wanted to hear her babies cry.

 

 

 

He let out a sigh of relief when he heard it. It was distinct from Dara’s voice and it was loud. Jiyong was crying with her as the doctor declared “Baby out!”. His grip on the phone tightened and he was biting his fist, laughing and crying at the same time. He never felt so happy and scared all at once. The cries were getting muffled and he could hear the movements inside the room through the receiver. The baby’s cry seemed so far from him now, almost inaudible. But then, that was just one. And he couldn’t hear Dara’s voice anymore. 

 

 

 

“Jiyong oppa, maybe I should call you again…”

 

 

 

“No!”, Jiyong shouted. “Don’t you dare hang up on me, Minzy! What is going on? What happened to Dara? Where’s my baby?”

 

 

 

“Jiyong-oppa…”

 

 

 

“Tell me!”

 

 

 

“Jiyong!”, Bom shouted. “This is Bom. I need you to calm down, all right?”

 

 

 

“I am calm! Just don’t hang up on me!”

 

 

 

“Listen to me, Dara has passed out…”

 

 

 

“What?!?!?!?”

 

 

 

“Listen to me!”, Bom commanded. “I don’t want to hear any interruptions or I will end this call, got that!” He didn’t answer but Bom knew she had to continue. “Dara passed out from the pain but the monitors say that her vitals are fine. We can still feel the contractions of her uterus and Chaerin and Minzy are helping her. I couldn’t do it, or I’ll probably break Dara’s bone.”

 

 

 

“Noona!”

 

 

 

“Wait!”, Bom interrupted. “They’re pushing in her stead. The doctors will have to use forceps to take out the twin. Will you be okay with that?”

 

 

 

“Of course I will!”, he answered without thinking. He didn’t even know what forceps were or how they’ll do it. That was the least of his worries at the moment. All he wanted was to hear his wife and children. 

 

 

 

“Just please, let them live! Let my wife and my babies live!”

 

 

 

“They will, Jiyong.”, Bom assured him. “They will be alive when you get here.”

 

 

 

Park Bom was quiet and Jiyong could hear the doctor’s voice through the receiver. She had said the words again, “Baby out!”, but this time, it was faint. It wasn’t as loud as the first one.

 

 

 

And Jiyong didn’t hear a baby’s cry.

 

 

 

“What happened?”, he felt himself shaking while he waited for Bom’s answer.

 

 

 

“They’re resuscitating the baby, Jiyong.”

 

 

 

“No…”

 

 

 

“Jiyong, I have to hang up. If you can, get a flight back right at this minute!”

 

 

 

“No, Bom! Don’t do this to me!”

 

 

 

“Jiyong…”

 

 

 

“Please, Bom…noona…please let me hear my baby. Please…”, Jiyong pleaded and although Bom couldn’t answer him, he knew she obliged. Perhaps she was crying as well, for Jiyong could hear faint sobs. Bom walked towards the other doctors who were tending to the other twin. One doctor was using the suction to clear the baby’s airway, while the other was using her thumbs to push onto the tiny chest. The little one was almost blue and Bom covered to stifle her cries as she watched.

 

 

 

“What’s happening? Tell me, please.”

 

 

 

“They’re trying to clear her airway. They’re using the suction and now, they’re trying to put a tube in to help her breathe.”

 

 

 

“Is she alive?”, the question tore every bit of Jiyong’s being and he didn’t know he was holding his breath until he heard the doctor’s voice in the background. 

 

 

 

“They say her heartbeat is strong now, Jiyong.”, Bom said tearfully and Jiyong broke down in the middle of his conversation with Bom. “Your daughters are alive. Both of them are alive.”

 

 

 

 

Jiyong watched as Dara looked at their daughters. He couldn’t imagine his life without his wife, or without his twins.

 

 

 

“They were able to get a private plane to take me back as soon as possible and I arrived the next day. The babies were being brought back from the hospital where they were checked thoroughly. Bom-noona never left them and was still here while the machines were put to work. We should be thankful for Bom noona. I wouldn’t know what to do if she wasn’t here with us.”

 

 

 

“Bommie did great.”, Dara looks at him with smile. “And so did you, Jiyong.”

 

 

 

“I was so scared, I hardly knew what to do.”, Jiyong averted his gaze from his wife.

 

 

 

“Hey, look at me.”, Dara coaxed and nudged him with her knee. “Jiyong, you better not make it hard for me or I’ll kick you.”, she even threatened but that made her husband smile and look back at her. “They are both alive. Now come here and hug your women!”

 

 

 

Jiyong felt overwhelmed with joy at the sight of his family and he scoots beside Dara on the bed, placing his arm over her shoulder to hold her close while she held onto the little ones.

 

 

 

“Thank you, Dara.”, he says, while kissing her head then her cheek. “Thank you for loving me. Thank you for giving me our children. I’m deeply sorry I couldn’t be here.”

 

 

 

Dara turns to her husband and smiles amidst the tears for she was moved by his words.

 

 

 

“What matters is that they’re here and that you’re here now.”, she says. 

 

 

 

Truthfully, a tiny part of her wished that Jiyong would be around when she gave birth but she never dwelt on it for she knew she was just aiming for disappointment. As her husband narrated what happened to her and his disdain in not being able to be with her, Dara simply found content in his presence at this moment. When she fell in love with this man, she already knew she wasn’t going to have a normal simple life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The coming days they spent together, undisturbed and away from their own reality that everything seemed surreal. Jiyong played the role of a doting husband and perfect father that when the twins would wake up in the middle of the night, crying and hungry, it was him who would take care of them.

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