Chapter 7

It was becoming almost like a pattern for Jin. The nightmares didn’t cease to exist and hunted him far more than a ghost would have. With the amount of sleep he was getting it was getting harder for him by the day to go to work. At this point he was just about to explode and melt away. It was just like Suga had told him….

“Hyung, I feel like you’re going to die if your keep this up,” V said.

Jin merely nodded and kept on doing his work like a robot functioned to cook. He wouldn’t mind resting and having a cup of pumpking pie and dark roasted coffee. He could almost taste it.

“If a supernatural being came in here to kill us. You’d be the only one safe hyung,” V stated, “You really look dead, literally dying.”

“Hyung, J-hope hyung,  Suga-hyung and Man-mon are here!” Jimin shouted as he pranced into the kitchen with the said people following him and an annoyed Jungkook.

“Yeah, what’s up hyung!” J-hope yelled. “Your favorite dongseng that you love is here.”

“No your favorite cousin and the only person you love out of the whole people in this room is here for you,” Suga said with his arms open wide for a hug.

Jin saw the two but instinctively went to the person that gave him comfort last week and wrapped his arms around Rapmon and rested his head on his shoulders. Once again, the sense of comfort and feeling of ease came to him.

Jungkook, Jimin and V laughed at the two that were left hanging by Jin.

“You two were just rejected,” Jungkook said, “Guess you aren’t as loved as you think.”

J-hope turned away from Jin and then looked at the refrigerator and smiled widely, “Your hopeie is here my baby,” and gave the thing a hug.

Suga looked at the J-hope and tsked at his odd behavior and then at Jin and Rapmon then shook his head not understanding, “When did these two get so close?”

“You have me you know,” Jimin said with a wink and nudged Suga.

“Keep your boyfriend in a leash Jungkook,” Suga exclaimed slapping Jimin in the process, “He’s going to attack anyone he sees if you don’t.”

“Jin Hyung, Suga hyung is being mean to me,” Jungkook complained.

“I wouldn’t mind though,” Jimin said winking at Jungkook that only rolled his eyes.

“Not in a thousand years Jimin, not in a thousand years.”

“That’s Jimin hyung to you Jungkook!” Jin yelled finally out of Rapmon’s embrace and flushed. “Don’t comment about anything that just happened,” then he coughed, “um… so what are the three of you doing coming altogether on a fine Saturday like today and yea….”

“I came because I own this place as well and got hungry,” Suga said with a sweet smile that Jin wanted to slap off.

“I wanted to make friend with everyone,” J-hope said slightly looking at V more than anyone else.

“I promised to visit soon,” Rapmon explained, “Strawberry chiffon cake and my white tea, please!”

“Oh valued customer, why don’t you try coming everyday instead of once a week!” Jimin recited like a butler with a British accent, “I am sure someone here wouldn’t mind that.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind that at all,” Jungkook said, “A visual I wouldn’t mind seeing every day.”

“After mine right?” Jimin said with a somewhat questionable smile.

Jungkook smiled innocently, “Right totally after yours,” he said but his head was nodding no.

J-hope stared hard at Jungkook with a knowing look in his eyes and a taunting smile.

Jungkook glared back, “what huh, why you looking at me like that for, son!”

“Oh nothing, you wouldn’t mind at all meaning Jimin huh,” J-hope said with a mischievous smile.

Jin just watched as he commented about how stupidly loveable his little dongsengs were and then yelled, “V, Jungkook, Jimin get back to work. Suga and J-hope go out to eat or stay here to work and you customer shouldn’t be walking in like you are an employee go back outside and wait.”

Everyone stared at Jin and all just did as they were told except for Suga. He stayed behind and waited till everyone was already gone there was no one else near them that could hear the two. For a moment the two just stood there looking at each-other waiting till one of them gave in and talked. Jin knew what Suga wanted to talk about and Suga wanted to just help his hyung.  But something’s are easier done than said, then said and done.

Suga gave in first and with a defeated sigh asked, “hyung, you know what I want to do but are you ready?”

Jin just stood there in the middle of the kitchen looking down at the cream colored tile. He looked at the tiles contemplating if he should speak or not. It was hard to really talk about dreams because they felt so real but if he didn’t find a solution to stop these dreams he might really just die.

“Fine but let me make finish my shift and then I will talk about it,” Jin said.

Suga nodded and then left the kitchen. Jin turned around and went back to working. The cakes had already been baked early morning and all he had to do was cut them up and give them to the three. All he needed to make was one – white tea, one café latte and one Americano. And so he did.

“Hyung, let me help you make that,” J-hope said taking the three white colour decorated with cute cartoons, “I want to do it since I have nothing else to do.”

Jin smiled, “You only want to help for an excuse to be closer to V.”

“What! Hyung, come on I would help you even if V wasn’t the reason,” J-hope exclaimed, “This time it just so happens that the reason is V.”

“Well, thanks hopie,” Jin said pinching the others cheeks before going to cut the strawberry chiffon cake into three slices.

“No problem hyung,” J-hope replied with a big smile, “But is there any way that V can have lunch with me right now?”

Jin glared at J-hope, “You’re only helping because of V aren’t you?”

“Hyung it’s not like that!”

“You really want me to believe that Hoseok Jung!”

“Maybe, if it makes you feel better about youself.”

“Well it would but your intentions aren’t for making me feel better is it?”

“Hyung do it for me please. I work at night, he works in the afternoon we have such different job times.”

“No!”

Then he left and went inside of the kitchen and took out the strawberry chiffon cake that was stored in a big refrigerator and started dividing it. By the time Jin had sliced three pieces and was ready to serve the three J-hope one of the three was also done making the tea and coffee and flirting with V. So, together they went out to serve the table.

“Here three strawberry chiffon, three different kinds of drinks and one person that shouldn’t be disturbing my worker,” Jin said as he set the food and J-hope.

“Hyung aren’t you going to eat with us?” Rapmon asked, “I specifically came during your lunch time so that we can eat together.”

Jin’s ears felt so much better after hearing Rapmon’s statement. He smiled and looked at Rapmonster but then he saw Suga giving him that ‘you-and-i-have-to-talk’ stare that made his smile drop just as quickly. He wanted to stay but he couldn’t not with Suga there.

“Actually my shift has been changed with V because for some unknown reason he wanted to have lunch at this time of the day,” Jin replied with a sorry face and waved as he went back into the kitchen. He then went and tapped V on his shoulder, “V switch lunch with me. Your boyfriend will horse around if you don’t keep him grounded.”

V that was cutting up a fresh slice of ham dropped everything that he was doing and turned around to face Jin with a huge smile. “Are you for real hyung, are you sure?”

Jin sighed, “Yea, yea now hurry out before I change my mind,” and shooed the excited boy away.

V left with already fully made sandwich and green tea at the side and left with a skip in his steps. Jin pouted as he watched V walk away and really regretted saying he didn’t want to have lunch. Meh, as long as it kept Suga away from him for some time.

Jin starting working on the food that V left for him to do and through this he was already cooking for more people then he wanted. At this given time while he was alone he thought about what he wanted to do later on. Should he tell Suga about his dreams or not? What if Suga thought that he was a freak or was weird?  No, this was Suga he was thinking about right, he wouldn’t do that, or would he. Well the outcomes aren’t always what they seem right. Maybe he could just generalize it and just give a broad example. No. Jin needed to tell someone though. If he kept he thought about his dreams to himself he might just lose all sleep with life as well.

“HYUNG!” jungkook yelled.

“Yea, what?”

“Yea, what after the 100ths time I called you!”

“Sorry Jungkook, what do you want?” Jin asked softly.

“Just wanted to tell you that Rapmon left already and told me to tell you that the next time he comes he wants you to have lunch with him,” Jungkook said.

“I see,” Jin replied.

“You aren’t happy that he wants to see you,” Jungkook asked, “What’s wrong hyung? Want to talk?”

Jin nodded his head no but with realization said, “Why hasn’t V come back yet? His lunch ended a long time ago.”

“He’s still out with his horse,” Jimin said as he came into the kitchen.

“Oh, so Suga is still here,” Jin asked again.

“Yea,” both jungkook and jimin said together.

“Aww, we are insync again. It must be destiny,” Jimin said with a suggestive smile and his brows raised up.

Jungkook just face palmed himself and walked outside the kitchen with a tray full of different kinds of cakes. Jimin followed along with a tray full of cups and smoke rising out from them.

Jin nodded and went to have his lunch joining V and the rest. He went and sat down with J-hope, Suga and V at the table beside the window and just ate in silence. He didn’t tell V to go back to work or make eye contact with any of them.

“Hyung, sorry I didn’t know it was this late,” V apologized and sat up with his tray, “I will go back to work right away,” and walked back to the kitchen.

“Hyung can I go and help?” J-hope asked and sat up waiting for approval.

Jin merely nodded his head and went back to eating. J-hope followed V with a huge smile leaving with his tray also. After that it was just him and Suga. Nothing said. No noise. Just silence.

“Uhhhum!” Sgua coughed.

No answer.

He coughed even louder, “Uhhhuuum!!”

Still no answer.

“Jin hyung would you mind if we talked?”

“Yes,” Jin replied.

“No, let me rephrase that. Tell me about your nightmares because I seriously think you have health problems.”

Jin pouted.

“Hyung.”

“Fine but know that you forcing me to tell you about something as horrible as my nightmares is just uggghhh! I can’t even compare my nightmares to anything bad that has happened in my life.”

Suga nooded his head and motioned for Jin to quiet down and talk.

Jin sighed a heavy sigh like it could actually weigh more than a whale, “Well, see these dreams, they are like – um… how do I even tell you this? It’s like nightmares, historical events kind of thing? Okay…. It’s awful they almost feel… feel... so, so very real Suga. I feel like they, are, real. It’s always me viewing something like a movie and I am always a part of it. I watch myself in all these nightmares and, and ahhh!” Jin yelled as his head starting throbbing like crazy, it hurt! He clutched his head with both his hands and almost crouched himself into a fetal position, his eyes closed and in a second it was blank dark.

“Jin, Jin you pathetic excuse of a son,” a women yelled but it was still dark he couldn’t see anything or himself.

He opened his eyes and suddenly he could see the women but he couldn’t see himself.

“What are you looking at you bastard,” the women said looking him in the eyes, “You should have died that day instead of your father!”

“Father?” he said but immidetly shut his mouth at the stares he was getting from this women.

“Are you talking back to me now?” she shouted and took out a belt, “you ungrateful , now you don’t even know who your father is?!” then she started hitting him and this time instead of seeing it he was feeling the pain, “You ing cursed child! You should have never been born!” she yelled at him whipping him with the belt with the buckle side.

He yelled out in pain and blocked himself with his hands and tried to scoot out of the way. He tried to get up and leave but he just couldn’t, she had him cornered like a snake with its prey.  ”Please stop. Please it hurts!” he repeated over and over again like a mantra.

“Oh, now you’re yelling so that the neighbors will hear and talk bad about me and see you as an innocent hurt boy!” she said pulling his hair and looking at him and his terrified eyes and slapped him across the face making him fall, “there’s nothing innocent about you! You selfish, dirty person! No one loves you and neither do I!”

Jin was hurt badly and he could feel the blood trickling down his right cheek, his arms, his whole body. How was this person a mother!

“Living everyday even with the knowledge that you killed my husband, you ing just go kill yourself already,” she said and walked away, “I hope nobody else will have a son like you!”

She left the room and slammed the door and locked it. Jin was in a fetal position on the floor his hands hugging his knees and his head buried. He wanted to cry but the tears didn’t fall it was hard. He felt angry, sad, paranoid, afraid, betrayed but he didn’t know why. The puzzles didn’t fit in together at all for him. So he lay on the ground rocking back and forth for a long time.

After some time he heard a noise and immediately his instinct told him to hide somewhere. However, after sometime he realized it wasn’t his so called mother but the window. Someone was throwing rocks at his window. He was hesitant to go open the window but he slowly, with small step went towards the window.

“Hyung!” he heard a rough voice whisper.

Jin looked down to see a boy in his teen years but he couldn’t see his face properly. All he could see was the silhouette of this boy. He didn’t open the window but he made himself visible to this person. He didn’t want the other to see him in such situation.

“Hyung, I know you are there open the door. Let me in!?” the other begged.

Jin nodded his head no.

“Oh, I see. It’s alright hyung I understand but I came today to propose to you,” he said and jin nodded, “Hyung, I am moving away for University and getting an apartment for myself. And I was hoping that maybe hyung, no not maybe! Hyung, come live with me?! Leave this hell hole and that awful person that you call mother. I will help you with everything. I really do love you hyung!”
 

Jin listened to the tone of need in the guy’s rough voice. It seemed like if he rejected then this other guy would actually cry and he didn’t want him to cry. But there was something, a feeling that told him that he couldn’t leave his mother alone at all.  He wanted to leave, to escape but he couldn’t because there was no escape. He nodded his head no and rejected the guy.

The other guy yelled, “Hyung stop bulling me! You shouldn’t be living in this hell hole with that witch of a person. Please hyung, you can’t always take care of her, you can’t believe everything she says! I am here for you hyung please, please come with me, hyung.”

Jin nodded his head no, again.

The guy stood there in silence for a moment and then erupted, “Fine! Be like this! Live in this hell hole but just so you know I will come and try to get you out every day from today onwards. I WILL MAKE YOU ESCAPE!” he said and ran away.

He wanted to yell ‘no, don’t. Leave me be and enjoy the life you have. I am not worthy of your attention or you love’ but I didn’t. That’s when the tears started to fall. They fell like a wave caused by a stormy night with lightning and thunder. Dark clouds covering every inch of light and harsh winds that could fling you like a ball.

“Hyung, hyung are you okay?” Suga asked his voice worried, “Hyung what happened?”

Tears were falling hard like a fall and he couldn’t stop, he couldn’t control it at all. He wanted to cry out loud but he couldn’t, all he could manage was soft whimpers but even that was barely audible. He wanted to go home; he wanted to go with him. He didn’t know who it was but he wanted to leave with him. He was the only one that loved him but he didn’t go with him when he had the chance. He wanted to go!

“Hyung, what’s wrong?” Suga asked softly this time.

Jin looked at Suga with tear filled eyes and mouthed ‘home’ he mouthed ‘take me home’ again and again.

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dun-dun-duhhhhhh