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Trick for TatSo, this is more feeling with a dash of comedy than comedy with a dash of feeling, but that's okay, right? This is waaaay longer than I thought it would be, the prompt ran away from me! I should probably read it over again, but I am too tired atm, and I just really want to post it today, so here it is!
“JUNG DAEHYUN, I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!”
Himchan is across the quad, yelling at him as other students look around in bewilderment. Youngjae tosses him an alarmed look as Daehyun cackles and tugs him quickly into the library, not stopping until they’re locked in one of the private study rooms.
“Dae, what the did you do?”
Daehyun holds his hands up and apologizes, but he’s still laughing so Youngjae doubts the sincerity of it all.
“I just gave him a box of donuts this morning!”
Youngjae folds him arms and waits.
“But you know,” Daehyun shrugs with that smile of his and Youngjae wishes it weren’t so disarming, “Why have cream filling when there’s perfectly good toothpaste and mayonnaise lying around?”
Youngjae shakes his head, “He’s not going to forget this. Well, while we’re here we might as well study.”
“What?” Daehyun pouts, “But Jae, it’s a Monday!”
“Last week you said no because it was Friday!”
“Well, Friday is self-explanatory, but Monday, I mean come on Jae, let me wake up for the week first.”
Youngjae tugs him into a seat and begins pulling out his own books. He’s figuring out the quickest way to get out of studying when his phone beeps and he looks at the message.
Consider this a declaration of war, Daehyun-ah.
He smirks.
Let the games begin.
* * *
Youngjae is a slave driver, but at least Daehyun has managed to finish the day’s readings.
He finally returns home three hours after class has ended, with Youngjae having decided to remain at the library to finish his assignments. He drops his backpack on a kitchen chair and heads to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of soda. He twists it open and immediately begins chugging the sugary liquid down until his taste buds begin to protest and he promptly spits it all back out into the sink.
“What the hell…”
A husky voice sounds behind him, sarcasm lacing each word, “You always put so much soy sauce on your food, so I thought, hey, why not give him what he wants?”
He turns around and regards Himchan as he gulps down water to get rid of the taste. He grins slightly at Himchan’s smug face.
“I’m almost impressed, hyung.”
“Well, your daily soda habit was your downfall. As a concerned hyung, I think maybe this is a sign.”
Daehyun smiles, teeth sharp as he walks towards the elder and rests a hand on Himchan’s shoulder.
“I’m glad we take care of each other, hyung.”
He leaves, the wheels turning in his head already.
When Youngjae returns later that evening, Daehyun is lying on his bed in their shared room, hands folded on his stomach and smiling at the ceiling as his feet move around happily.
“You look really creepy, right now…”
Daehyun turns his head, still smiling, “Oh. Hello, Youngjae.”
His friend stares for a second before shaking his head and grabbing a towel
“I’m going to shower now, please tell the ghost of Chucky to leave your body while I’m gone, okay?”
“It’s going to be wonderful, Youngjae. Tomorrow.”
“…Right.”
Daehyun wakes up the next morning bright and early as he always does. He is a creature of habit, like Himchan had said, but then again, so is Himchan. He showers and brushes his teeth with a smile before sneaking downstairs and then returning. He picks up the hairdryer and chuckles quietly.
Himchan won’t know what hit him.
And as expected, his peaceful morning ends right on schedule.
Daehyun grins as he hears the yell from the bathroom, leaning back against the counter to sip on a glass of juice.
Himchan stalks in, face and hair covered in flour while he seethes.
“Oh, hyung,” Daehyun’s eyes widen with excess concern, “you look a little pale.”
“You. Are. Dead.”
“You know, it’s not a total lost cause. I mean, I’m sure the flour’s absorbing most of the water. But far from your usual perfect blowout, I’ll admit.”
“You’re lucky I don’t have any early classes today.”
“You’re lucky I wasn’t feeling especially creative.”
Himchan scowls, turning on his heel and stomping back upstairs while Daehyun laughs at the cloud of flour that flies from his hair with every step.
Really, Himchan was just too easy to rile up.
They were friends, but not in quite the same way as he was with Youngjae or Yongguk. Youngjae was his peer, someone he could be silly with, who shared his interests and his sense of fun, who he could talk into the night with and pick up with again in the morning. Yongguk was his hyung, someone he could go to for advice, who reassured him and sometimes spoiled him, but who was also stern when he needed to be, someone Daehyun could always depend and rely on.
Himchan was the one he bickered with. They treated each other on birthdays, and hung out with everyone else, and sometimes they were even sort of nice to each other, but things had never been so easy with them. Eventually one of them would say something or do something and the fault lines would show up again, shifting everything they stood on.
* * *
The first time Daehyun had arrived at the library to see Himchan, a couple months after his transfer, he’d been sure it was some sort of plot on the elder’s part.
Himchan saw him standing by the table, looking around in confusion and sighed impatiently, still flipping through the book in his hands.
“Sit.”
Daehyun had done so without thinking, ears flushing red afterward as Himchan smirked at him.
“You’re working on math, right?”
He nodded.
“Well?” Himchan put the book away and gestured to his bag, “Get your stuff out, I don’t have all day.”
He’d hastily pulled his books and his pencil case out and opened up to the day’s lesson. He bit his lip as he looked as his notes, at the little question marks he’d put beside concepts that confused him.
“Um…”
He looked to Himchan and the elder’s eyes softened just slightly.
“Go ahead.”
The rest of the hour was spent in relative silence, Daehyun slowly going through his homework as Himchan read nearby and offered explanations when asked. The library was beginning to empty out when they packed their things up and headed out for the afternoon.
Himchan broke the silence a few minutes in, “So, do you get it now?”
“Sort of? But like, imaginary numbers. Why do they exist? Isn’t this math? Why are there non-existent made up numbers?”
Himchan frowned, “They just…help us calculate things like…the square roots of negatives and stuff.”
“But they said negatives can’t have square roots ‘cause they make a positive!”
“They can’t.”
“So I can just make things up to calculate things that can’t-”
Himchan sighed loudly and grabbed him by the shoulders, “Look, you gonna be a math major or something?”
He shook his head with an expression of disgust and the elder laughed slightly.
“Okay. So save yourself the trouble. Just figure out how to answer the questions in class and do well on the tests and don’t give yourself a headache.”
Daehyun nodded and they continued walking to the bus stop, where they will part.
“But hyung, what about asymptotes?”
“Oh god…”
* * *
The next afternoon, Daehyun comes home hungrier than a horse after being forced to skip both breakfast and lunch to make his classes on time. He opens the fridge, eyes widening when he sees a liberally iced cake in a corner.
“Yes!”
He slides the cake out and quickly finds a knife to cut himself a little slice of heaven. He sinks the knife into the icing when a loud pop sounds and he squeaks loudly, jumping and dropping the knife.
There is laughter behind him as Himchan stands there with his phone, recording the whole thing.
“Ah, it’s been a while since our very own cowardly lion made an appearance.”
Daehyun calms his expression out and huffs, “Haha, yes, play on my never-ending need for cake.”
Picking up the knife, he grabs a paper towel to begin cleaning up the mess as Himchan replays the video he’d taken and laughs.
“You sure you don’t want to give up, hyung?”
“Give up? When I’m winning? Hell no. This is much too fun.”
“Victory is a fickle mistress,” he warns, taking in the way Himchan’s gaze sharpens, his smile challenging.
“…What, are you taking lit this year?”
“Yeah,” he grins, before his eyes turn hopeful, “by the way, can I have your notes?”
Himchan stares at him wordlessly before turning on his heel. Later that night, after Himchan had already left for his office hours, Daehyun sets up his revenge.
Youngjae shakes his head in awe as he watches Daehyun set up.
“Imagine if you used your talent and intellect for, I don’t know, your homework? Problem solving? Actual useful pursuits?”
Daehyun tosses him a grin from where he’s standing, screwing the shower head back on, “I know, right?”
They hear the front door open and Daehyun makes sure the device is secured firmly before hopping down and grabbing Youngjae’s arm, sneaking off to their bedroom.
“You’d better not say anything, Jae,” he whispers.
“You think I want Himchan-hyung to kill me too? No thanks.”
They wait just behind their door as Himchan putters about in his room before heading for the bathroom. From then it’s only a few minutes until they start hearing the confused exclamations and the sound of the water being shut off before Himchan is stomping out in his towel.
Youngjae squeaks and heads to his desk, pretending to be absorbed with something on his laptop.
Daehyun steps back just as the door flies open, Himchan standing there in his towel and smelling like noodles. There are bits of wet goop in his hair and sliding down his skin and Daehyun can’t tell whether he should be grossed out or not.
“Mmmm, hyung smells like ramen, if you were anyone else I might you clean,” he darts out of the way as Himchan swipes at him.
There is flush of red on the elder’s cheeks when he speaks, “Did you put chicken stock in the shower? How even…”
“Just a bouillon cube! It’s brilliant right? Ah, you’ll smell delicious for days!”
Himchan grits his teeth, brandishing his back scrubber threateningly.
“Clean it out.”
Daehyun pouts, “No way, I cleaned the icing from yesterday! You clean it out.”
“Unless you want Yongguk to come home late only to be welcomed by a soup shower-”
“Okay, okay!”
He rushes into the bathroom before sticking his head around the corner once more.
“But I win this round!”
He misses the scrubber flying at him by a hair.
* * *
After Christmas, they had all decided to meet up before classes started up again. Daehyun had been doing well and his parents were elated, were finally off his back about college entrance exams. He knew he owed a lot to his friends for helping him so much, and he’d already given Youngjae his gift on the last day of class before holidays, a paltry thing for what he considered such a huge favour.
But Youngjae had cried a little at the limited edition record and Daehyun had flitted around nervously not knowing what to do, until Youngjae had hugged him and told him that he couldn’t have asked for a better best friend.
He only had Yongguk and Himchan’s gifts left to give, the bags in his hands as he waited at the mall for the others to arrive. He was early, took the time to get himself a drink and sat by the fountain, smiling at the decorations everywhere. He looks down at the gifts in his hands and sighs.
He was sure Yongguk would like his, and even if he didn’t, it was Yongguk so he wasn’t all that nervous about it. Himchan on the other hand…
It wasn’t that he thought Himchan would hate his present or would be rude about it, but, well, he wanted to impress him. Himchan was always so aloof and sophisticated, so unlike the people Daehyun was used to being around.
Himchan had notoriously expensive taste and was very particular about what he wore, how it looked on him, so Daehyun had stayed away from clothing all together. And when he had thought about it, it occurred to him that he didn’t really know what Himchan liked. They never hung out alone, just the two of them, and if they ever did talk, the conversation was never particularly deep. But they did share one thing.
“Hey, no one else here yet?”
He’d looked up in surprise as the deep voice, blinking at Himchan as the elder took a seat beside him, grabbing the hot chocolate out of his hands and gulping it down.
“Damn, it’s cold.”
Daehyun had pouted at the loss of this sugary drink, but let it be.
“It’ll take ‘em a while. Because of the snow.”
“Oh, yeah. My parents’ house is around here. I forgot you live nearby, too.”
Daehyun had fidgeted for a few seconds as they sat in silence, Himchan fiddling with his phone.
“Here.”
He’d held the bag out to Himchan without much ceremony, and the elder stared at it with confusion.
“It’s,” Daehyun cleared his throat, “It’s for you.”
“Oh,” Himchan took the gift from his hands slowly, “I didn’t get you anything…”
“No, it’s fine, I just wanted to, you know, thank you for helping me with things.”
Himchan looked at him then, something new in his gaze before grinning, “Thank you. Can I open it now?”
Daehyun had nodded, peeking at the elder shyly as he rifles through the copious amounts of tissue paper he’d stuffed into the bag. He hadn’t even really needed a bag, but it felt weird to just hand the elder an envelope, and oh God, what if Himchan thought he was stupider than he already did-
“Eh, is there even anything in here- oh…”
Himchan had looked at the item in his hands with surprise, thumb brushing over the words printed on the tickets.
“It’s um, an orchestra, you like that stuff, right? I thought maybe you could go with Sunhwa, so I got you two…”
“It’s,” Himchan swallowed, “It’s perfect. I- Thank you, Dae.”
His cheeks had flushed happily as he ducked away from Himchan’s hands in his hair, shy with Himchan’s attentions and his own pride.
* * *
Daehyun spends the next morning like he’s in a combat zone. He tip toes out of his room, peeking around corners. He checks his toothbrush, toothpaste, creams and shampoos thoroughly before he uses them and he wonders in the back of his mind if this paranoia was Himchan’s real revenge.
Then again, he supposed most of this was of his own making, but he’d be damned if Himchan of all people could beat him in a good old prank war. He leaves with that thought in mind, cheery through his classes before he heads to the meeting he has with one of his TAs.
His composition TA is Yongguk’s girlfriend, a pretty girl named Jieun, and Daehyun admits that he’s a little nervous about his meeting with her. She’ll be grading most of his projects after all, and he wants to make a good impression.
He’s written down the questions as Youngjae had suggested and waits patiently outside the office while another student rambles about how much he’d loved Jieun’s performance at the last school festival.
When it’s finally his turn, he pats down his shirt and makes sure his hair doesn’t look any more untamed than usual.
“Daehyun-ssi?” Jieun greets him with a smile, “Come in!”
Daehyun bows slightly and sits in the chair in front of her desk, “Ah, thank you.”
“Yongguk’s only had good things to say,” she says sweetly and it relaxes him some. He decides he wouldn’t mind at all if Jieun became his new sister-in-law, he’d have to make sure Yongguk didn’t let this one go.
“So, what did you want to talk about, Daehyun-ssi?”
“Well, I had some questions about the midterm project…”
He’s rummaging around in his bag for his notebook when he hears it, soft at first but then louder.
“Oh, ah, yes…yes…harder…”
Daehyun looks up to find Jieun staring at him with wide eyes. He searches frantically, horrified.
“I swear I don’t know where that’s coming from!”
The moans and vulgar words are only getting worse. He searches wildly until it clicks and he feels around for his phone.
“I swear I’m not some sort of, um, ography enthusiast. I mean, you know, no more than the average person, haha. I mean- oh my god, why is this happening…”
“Mmm, ahhh, oh God yes fu-”
He finally finds the damn thing and answers it without looking at the ID, a familiar voice coming through the device.
“Hey. Daebabe. How’s the meeting going?”
Daehyun growls, “Himchan, I am going to annihilate you-”
“That’s all very nice, sweetums. Tell Jieunnie I said hi!”
He hangs up when the dial tone sounds and quickly shuts the device off. Folding his hands in his lap and looking at the woman in front of him apologetically.
“Himchan. Sends his greetings.”
Jieun nods slowly, “Let’s…forget that ever happened okay? Now, what did you need help with?”
* * *
When Daehyun comes home the first thing he does is launch himself at Himchan, who’s sitting comfortably on their living room couch. He has impressive visions of tackling the elder to the ground and messing up his meticulously styled hair, but he finds himself caught midair and cranes his neck to see Yongguk shaking his head at him.
“Hyung,” he squirms, “Put me down! I have to kill Himchan-hyung!”
Yongguk does set him down but keeps an arm around him as he lunges unsuccessfully, hands just shy of the perfectly angular face in front of him.
“So,” Himchan flips through his book, not even bothering to look at Daehyun, “How was your day?”
“I’ll show you just how my day was!”
“Relax, Dae,” Yongguk sighs, tugging him away, “I sent Jieun a text once Himchan told me, she doesn’t think any less of you.”
“She should,” Himchan supplies unhelpfully.
Yongguk turns an irritated eye to him next while Daehyun sticks his tongue out at Himchan from behind the safe cover of Yongguk’s back.
“Can you maybe keep my girlfriend and her reputation out of your little…whatever the hell this is?”
Himchan looks properly admonished at this, though he does spare a baleful glance for Daehyun.
“Yeah, sorry. Won’t happen again, right Dae?”
* * *
Himchan sighs as he takes a break from his studying. He leans back in his chair, looking at the other students sitting in the miserable little study cubicles. He picks up his phone and opens a folder, sifting through the pictures until he comes across one that makes him pause.
It’s probably the only one he has of just him and Daehyun together, and Daehyun doesn’t even know it exists. The younger had passed out after drinking too much the first time they went out together shortly after moving in to the house, and they’d hauled him into bed for the night.
Daehyun had immediately curled up into the sheets, hand clutching the duvet and face snuggling into the pillow. Himchan had stuck his face by the younger’s, pulling a funny expression and snapping the picture, with the intention of mocking Daehyun’s status as a lightweight. He’d been about to upload it when he really looked at it, Daehyun’s peaceful face and softly parted lips, and something about putting it out for the world to see seemed wrong to him.
He scowls, swiping away from the picture when he gets a text from Yongguk.
you want me to get you anything from the café?
yeah, s wants a large dicking
um…?
Himchan frowns as he stares at Yongguk’s reply and the sent message. He was sure he had sent a request for a large Americano. He types out another message with frustration.
s meant s and dicking not
wtf, COFFEE. MY FAVOURITE, why can’t s type dicking?
WTF
ing hell, it’s Master
NOT, MASTER, MASTER
ah, he got to your autocorrect?
d.a.e.h.y.u.n. s will kill him.
…get the coffee that me likes.
sure XD
and stop laughing!
* * *
Daehyun is woken up from his nap by a phone to the face.
“Ow!”
“Fix it.”
Himchan stares at him expectantly and he rubs his nose as he sits up.
“Be a little gentle, hyung, god.”
He picks up the phone mumbling, “Can’t you just set it back? It’s your phone!”
Himchan glares, “And don’t change anything else, or I swear-”
“Relax,” Daehyun replies, thumbing through the options and resetting the device, “I wouldn’t do the same thing twice. Boring.”
Himchan scoffs and heads to the kitchen and Daehyun bites his lip thoughtfully. Heading to the picture icon, he opens the folders curiously, snooping for something worthy. He blinks when he sees one with him in it.
He’s sleeping, Himchan making a face beside him in the frame. He frowns as he looks at the timestamp, wondering why Himchan had taken the shot only to keep it to himself.
The older man walks back into the room then.
“Hey, hyung, why do you have this?”
Himchan looks over, snatching the phone from him when he sees the picture on the frame.
“Can you not look through my stuff?”
Daehyun frowns, confused at the outburst, “You gave me your phone. Did you expect-”
“You not to be a brat for once? Yeah, maybe I did. But you not being trouble is like the sky not being blue.”
Daehyun can feel his body retreat at that, curling slightly into the couch as Himchan stuffs his phone away. The front door opens and Yongguk and Youngjae walk in, smiles fading when they come across the tense atmosphere in the living room.
Himchan grabs his wallet and keys and disappears out the door as the other two look at him questioningly.
“What was that about?” Youngjae asks, sliding into the space beside him and turning the TV on.
Daehyun shrugs, burrowing into Youngjae’s side. The younger, thankfully, doesn’t ask questions.
Daehyun’s only lying a little bit. He doesn’t know why he and Himchan had started out so rocky, why everything he does seem to irritate the elder even now, but he does hold on to another piece of the puzzle.
* * *
It had been their graduation party. Or rather, the mini after party with just the six of them in Himchan’s parents’ lake house. Himchan and Yongguk had brought some beer and the rest of them had provided the snacks. The two of them had formed a tentative friendship after Christmas, but for the past few weeks Himchan had been acting strangely, was cold with him like he’d been initially. Daehyun had hesitated even going on the trip, but now that they were living together there was no sense in avoiding Himchan.
Yongguk had watched the maknaes with a parental eye, plucking a bottle from Junhong’s hands after he’d quickly gone through two already. When it had started getting colder as the night went on, Himchan had demanded Daehyun help him get more blankets from the attic, unheeding of Daehyun’s weariness as he looked up at the rickety stairs.
Daehyun headed up first and crawled up into the space, flicking on the light switch as Himchan directed him to.
“There should be a couple bins around here somewhere filled with blankets.”
They rummaged around for a few minutes until Daehyun found a bin labelled “quilts” and opened the lid, pulling out a patchwork quilt and pressing it to his cheek.
He smiled softly, “This is cute, hyung. We should probably stick them in the dryer with some of those scented sheets though. Might smell a little less musty.”
He’d rubbed his cheek against the quilt happily, memories of campouts and sleepovers coming to mind and suddenly Himchan was in front of him, a strange look in his eyes.
Daehyun hadn’t been sure what was happening, but suddenly Himchan wasn’t looking at his torn jeans and thin Henley with barely concealed disdain. The elder had tugged him closer by his belt loops and gently brushed one of his cheeks with a palm.
“, you’re pretty. I hate it.”
He’d blinked, hands settling on Himchan’s arms as he was pulled closer still.
“I hate you’re lips, and you’re stupid accent, and I really ing hate these jeans on you, god damn. And you’re so childish, it’s so annoying, but…”
Himchan was suddenly so close to him, hands on his waist and fingers slipping under his tank and brushing his skin. He hadn’t understood because the only reasons that had fit didn’t fit Himchan; didn’t fit them, and their entire relationship of sitcom worthy banter.
And then Himchan had kissed him.
He’d expected it to be rough, angry even; Himchan rarely seemed to be any other way with him. What he got though, was a palm cupping the back of his head and a gentle tilt before lips were fitted against his and Himchan was pulling him flush against his body with a small sound.
Daehyun hadn’t been kissed in so long, and maybe even he hadn’t realized how much he’d been wanting it, that sort of affection. Coming from Himchan, it had only made his heart race more with the sheer novelty of it, the surprise and the unexpectedness.
So he’d given into it and forgot everything else. Forgot that he and Himchan were somewhere between frenemies and nemesis’, forgot that Himchan wasn’t single and that Sunhwa was one of the sweetest girls he’d ever met, forgot that all their friends were just downstairs and probably wondering what was taking them so long.
He’d wound his arms around Himchan’s neck, eager and yearning, and let Himchan’s tongue slip past his lips. It was when the elder’s mouth slid down his jaw and towards his neck that he let himself speak and everything stopped.
“Himchan-”
The elder had moved back suddenly, and Daehyun was almost disoriented, having to balance on his own. Himchan had stared him accusingly, like Daehyun was the culprit there, like he was the one that should be confused.
Turning around, Himchan had picked up the bin and headed towards the stairs again, stopping just as he reached the opening.
“This didn’t happen.”
Himchan never mentioned it again.
He made sure they were never alone so Daehyun couldn’t bring it up either and suddenly he was spending every free weekend with Sunhwa.
One Saturday, Daehyun and Yongguk were waiting for the others in the park by their old high school.
“Hey, hyung,” Daehyun fit into the space by Yongguk’s side, not touching but close. There was something about Yongguk that grounded him and he calmed as he asked his next question, “Have you seen Himchan-hyung lately?”
Yongguk had sighed and shook his head, “Not much. I think he and Sunhwa are having some problems.”
Daehyun’s ears had perked, “Problems?”
“Yeah. They’re trying to work things out. Why?”
“Nothing. I was just wondering.”
“If he’s testier with you than usual, it’s probably just that he’s worried about how things are going with her. I wouldn’t mind it.”
Himchan hadn’t shown up that night, calling Yongguk with some excuse that Daehyun was too distracted to hear. When he’d walked home with Youngjae and Yongguk that night, back to their new house, he’d brought the topic up as subtly as he knew how.
“Himchan’s being mean again. I don’t know what you did to get him to tutor me this year, Jae.”
“Hm?” Youngjae had looked up, “Oh, no, that was Himchan’s idea.”
He nearly snapped his neck when he turned to look at Youngjae, “What?”
“I didn’t ask him because he didn’t seem too keen on you at first, but then he like, sort of volunteered.”
Yongguk frowned from his other side, “I thought you knew that, Dae.”
“I thought he hated me!”
Youngjae threw an arm around him, “Nah, he never really hated you. When I asked why he was helping, he said looking at you was like looking at an old stray dog. Like, you don’t wanna get too close, but you still want to leave it a bowl of food or something.”
“…”
“It sounds bad when I say it, but it was kind of nice!”
When they returned that night, Himchan wasn’t home.
But he came back the next morning, with a bag of his things and a frown on his face.
He still didn’t mention it.
* * *
Himchan returns late that night and Daehyun waits in the elder’s room for him. When he does walk in, Daehyun holds up his hands peacefully.
“Hyung, I don’t want to do this anymore.”
Himchan sets his bag down, regarding him curiously. Youngjae and Yongguk are asleep doors away and Daehyun tries to keep his voice down, tries to minimize himself so that whatever it is that always sets Himchan off stays in check.
“I mean, it was fun, I just…think it’s gotten a bit out of hand. And I’m sorry for going through your phone.”
Himchan sighs, slowly, like he’s breathing the irritation out of himself. Like always, Daehyun’s mouth runs ahead of his mind.
“Do you remember that night after graduation? What you said to me, hyung?”
Himchan’s jaw is clenching again but Daehyun isn’t sure who he’s angry at.
“Why are you bringing that up now?”
Daehyun stands and steps closer, because he wants Himchan to be that way with him again. To hold him softly and stop slamming him with a wall every time he gets close because it’s exhausting and if it’s exhausting for Daehyun, it must be for Himchan, too.
“Do you hate me?” he whispers.
Himchan’s expression crumples and he turns his head away. Daehyun won’t let him run away though and he hugs the elder tightly, pressing his cheek to the man’s shoulder. He can feel Himchan’s hands settling on his shoulders, hesitant and shaky.
“Can’t we be friends?”
Himchan swallows, “We are friends-”
“No,” Daehyun looks up, “Can’t we…can’t we be like we are with Yongguk and Jae? And Junhongie and Jonguppie?”
“No,” Himchan whispers.
“Why?”
“We can’t. Because we’re not them. You’re not them, I can’t…” Himchan shuts his eyes, extracting himself from Daehyun and trying to move away, “I can’t be close to you like that…”
Daehyun tucks himself back into Himchan’s space and the elder almost whines, like even being around him is painful.
“Is it because you want to kiss me again, hyung?”
Himchan freezes.
“Because if you did, I don’t think I would mind. I think I want you to kiss me-”
“Stop,” Himchan puts hands back on his shoulders, “Stop thinking all of a sudden.”
Daehyun isn’t hurt like he usually is when Himchan says things like that; instead he tilts his head and leans further into Himchan’s body.
“Why do you do that?”
Himchan sighs, eyes closed as he calms himself, “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
And because Daehyun’s never been good at calming his reckless instinct, he kisses Himchan first.
This time, there’s nothing slow or gentle about it.
* * *
He wakes up to rumpled blankets and a heat that he isn’t used to pressed against him. His face is resting by Himchan’s collarbone and he presses his smile there. Sitting up carefully, he looks around. The sun is up, the house quiet on this weekend morning and Daehyun hopes that neither of their housemates have come looking for them quite yet.
When there is movement beside him he looks over with a grin, to where Himchan is sitting, a hand rubbing his face. The elder turns to him then, before cursing softly.
Daehyun’s smile fades.
“Was this part of a stupid joke you’re planning?”
Himchan’s voice is gravelly, his tone cold. Daehyun can feel his hands turning icy.
“What? I…”
Say no, say no, come on Daehyun just tell him...
Himchan’s face twists and Daehyun wonders how someone so beautiful can look so cutting, “, you know what I don’t even care anymore. I can’t believe this; I thought I was done waking up beside people and feeling like puking.”
“We didn’t drink…”
Himchan levels Daehyun with a glare, “And what do you know, I feel like puking anyway.”
Daehyun feels a burning behind his eyes then and turns away, pulling his clothes from the ground and tugging them on quickly.
“Yeah, well, I guess I win then.”
He leaves, and Himchan doesn’t stop him.
* * *
Between his classes, friends, and job, Daehyun hadn’t paid much attention to the veritable bastion of hormones that was university.
But it takes him exactly three days after the incident with Himchan to start flirting with the boy in his history class who’d been making eyes at him since the last semester, and exactly two weeks until they are an official couple. Yongguk and Youngjae don’t mention anything about the situation, but everyone can tell something is terribly off.
Things with Himchan are tense, to say the least, and he rarely spends time at home anymore when he isn’t sleeping. Youngjae had been excited about his sudden zeal for spending time in the library until he realized Daehyun wasn’t going home afterwards like he’d thought.
He wasn’t doing anything reckless. Most days, he’d spend time in the campus coffee shop, or he was working. Other times, he was out with his new boyfriend, Minho.
“Guys, I’m leaving!”
“Whoa, wait,” Youngjae stops him by the door, “Why haven’t we met this guy, yet?”
Daehyun looks around nervously. Himchan is holding a review session for one of his classes and only Yongguk and Youngjae are around.
“Well, you know, it’s kind of…new…”
“Bring him in,” Yongguk says, voice casual as he thumbs through his textbook.
“Yeah, I wanna say hi!” Youngjae adds.
Daehyun sighs, “Fine.”
He disappears out the front door, returning moments later with a man, about the same height but noticeably bigger around his arms and shoulders.
“This…is Minho.”
Yongguk places his book down and stands, walking over, “Hi, I’m Yongguk.”
“Youngjae.”
They all shake hands and Daehyun looks between them awkwardly. Minho slides an arm around his waist and pulls him into his side, making him stumble slightly at the unexpected action.
“It’s cute how spacey you can be,” the elder says and Daehyun tries not to look Youngjae and Yongguk in the eyes.
“So,” Minho laughs, eyes surveying his friends, “Is this like Meet the Parents, or what?”
“Nothing so drastic,” Yongguk replies, lips lifted but eyes blank, “We just wanted to meet the guy who’s been sweeping our Daehyunnie off his feet.”
“Ah, well, he’s mine now, so he’s in good hands.”
Daehyun steps in when their forced smiles begin to dim.
“Okay, well, you’ve all met, so let’s go!” he pulls Minho away by the hand, “Bye guys!”
“Don’t wait up,” Minho adds with a wink.
Daehyun doesn’t like Minho’s friends, but they’re at the restaurant even when Minho had said they wouldn’t be. They smile at Daehyun, but with expressions that look like they’re thinking less about greeting him and more about Minho’s hands possessive on his hip, about whether he leans into it just the same in private or whether they hold him down. He tells himself that this is what it feels like when someone wants you, and tries to believe it’s a good thing.
A few weeks later, they’re standing in his kitchen on a Saturday morning, Minho’s arms around his waist as he scrambles some eggs for breakfast. Minho was coming over more often now, thought he’d never stayed over. And that was the problem.
“Come on Dae,” Minho’s nosing at that ticklish spot just below his ear, a large hand flush against his belly as he’s engulfed in the elder’s hold, “we’ve been dating for a month already…”
“No, not now. I don’t wanna; let’s just go out or something, hyung.”
It’s a few more minutes of sugary cajoling and kisses that Daehyun tilts his head away from before Minho’s hands tighten around him.
“Why are you being like this? I take you out and I listen to your rambling and-”
“No one’s making you do any of that,” Daehyun replies, extracting himself from the hold and stepping away.
Minho leers at him, mocking suddenly.
“Getting enough from your ‘house mates’, is that it?”
Daehyun tells himself that he should feel angry, but he’s just tired, “What are you saying, exactly?”
“What? Too complex for you to comprehend? You live with three other guys who are a little too involved in your business, you look happier with them than you ever do with me, and you expect me to think there’s nothing there?”
Daehyun’s about to tell Minho exactly what he expects when a voice sounds from behind.
“Don’t talk to him like that.”
Daehyun turns to where Himchan is standing by the door, face dark as he reaches for a mug and heads to the coffee machine. The elder is already dressed for his job at the high-end retail store he works at.
Minho scoffs, “Look this isn’t your problem-”
“If someone’s standing in my kitchen yelling idiotically on a Saturday morning,” Himchan begins, eyes narrowing “I think it’s very much my problem.”
“Listen, pretty boy-”
“You know, I could give you some tips,” Himchan interrupts, stalking closer, “Tip number one, never lose a fight-”
“Okay!” Daehyun slides in between them, hands up and facing Himchan, the elder man’s eyes flicker down to him, softening slightly. He turns around to where Minho is still seething.
“I think you should go.”
“Are you serious?”
Daehyun nods.
Minho laughs bitterly, shaking his head, “Fine. I’ve wasted enough time already. This is over.”
Minho leaves with a slam of the front door and Daehyun feels nothing but irritation at the loud noise. Himchan is standing stock still behind him, arms limp at his sides and face oddly blank from the anger that had marred it just seconds before.
“I’ll make your coffee,” Daehyun offers, heading for the machine.
“No. I’m…leaving for my shift now.”
Himchan leaves without another word.
* * *
He waits For Himchan all day, like a puppy sitting by the door.
By the time it’s evening and darkness has fallen on the small street they live on, he contemplates giving up. As he walks by the kitchen to get a glass of water before finally heading to bed, he sees a figure sitting on the bench in their backyard. He jumps slightly at the shadow, but peers closer and recognizes the styled hair and the bright purple of the elder’s favourite scarf. He slides the patio door open, wrapping arms around himself as he shuffles closer, speaking before he can chicken out.
“It wasn’t a trick.”
Himchan looks to him, cigarette hanging out of his mouth as his eyes widen and he puts it out.
“What are you doing? It’s freezing out here, get back inside!”
“It wasn’t a trick!”
Himchan sighs, looking away.
“I know.”
Daehyun glares, “You knew? But…”
“I wanted an out,” Himchan looks at him then, before tilting his head to the sky and laughing bitterly, “I like you. A lot. Too much.”
It’s not exactly the confession anyone dreams about, Himchan sounds tired and Daehyun is too confused to feel happy.
“Then why-”
“Because I didn’t want to.”
Himchan pats the spot beside him and Daehyun sits. The elder pulls off his coat and slides it around him so he stops shivering. He doesn’t say anything for a second, but then it seems he reaches some decision in his mind and begins to talk.
“Sunhwa and I…we’d been together for years. And then one day I stopped wondering what she’d be wearing to our dates. And I started to notice how you couldn’t hide your ears no matter what hat you wore. I stopped looking at restaurant menus and thinking I should bring her there and instead I was thinking about whether you’d prefer the new barbeque house or the noodle place. And on and on.”
He meets Daehyun’s eyes then, smiling sadly, “I hated you for hijacking my thoughts like that.”
Daehyun swallows, “And now?”
“Now, I wish I had told you then.”
“Then,” Daehyun grabs Himchan’s hand, fidgeting nervously, “Are you telling me now?”
“Would you say yes now?”
Daehyun smiles, the light from the street casting an orange glow on Himchan’s face, illuminating the hope there.
“I think I might.”
“No tricks?”
“No,” Daehyun says softly, “And you?”
Himchan shakes his head, wrapping arms around him, “I think we’re even now.”
Thanks for reading!
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