➳ Jongdae

We were all in the same airplane. It’s amazing how all of our seats were close together. It was so difficult to get the 11 of us in the same area, most of the time. Granted, It was also our first time in business class. Quite funny though, how we fill the space — we’re practically taking all of the seats. That was actually usually the reason why the company put us in economy. Or maybe they are just cheap. 

Beside me, Minseok was fumbling in his bag. I could almost hear his belly growling in hunger (and I had my earphones on). I think it was the fact that we’ve lived together for some time and that now, everyone knows each other’s habits. Obviously, Minseok was pretty hardcore with his eating habits. I even got used to his 1AM in the morning snacks. 

“Jongdae-ah…” I hear him whispering. It might have been 6PM UK time, but it was 3AM in Seoul. In other words, it was sleeping time. 

“Mmmh?” I say half-asleep even though now, I am wide awake.

“You kept the snack they gave earlier right? Because you don’t like salty chips.” Minseok says matter-of-factly. 

I don’t say anything. I could hear him smile. “Can I…?”

I nod. He didn’t even hesitate.

I smile internally and open my eyes to look at the window. Most of the plane was fast asleep, as it was still early for a normal day in Seoul. They were going to wake us up in a few hours to eat, which I believed, Minseok was counting the minutes of. 

I unlock my phone and open the notes app. Most of it were notes — obviously — but a good half of it were lyrics. Strangely, I’ve been getting really inspired to write songs. I don’t know if it was because of all the troubles the group was getting or it was just me getting creative. I corrected some of the lyrics and tried to imagine myself signing it. Hum new melodies for some words, created new beats for others…

After a long moment of concentration, I decided to look through my photos. 

I won’t lie — most of the pictures were of my family’s dog. I do not have the privilege to see them often so whenever I do, I take loads of pictures. A few of them were with my other members (including Minseok eating like a pig, Chanyeol sleeping or D.O making food) or pictures of scenery. 

Boredness took over me. The pictures started to get very old, even for my trainee time. I didn’t know that I’ve put so much into my phone until my thumb stopped on one particular. 

Short black hair that stopped just beneath the ear. Small nose and rounded eyes, so bright in the picture that they could compare to two suns. I could have drawn this face with my eyes closed, for I have seen it so many time. It was a face I wanted to forget, though I couldn’t put myself to. 

I remember that day. The sun was trying to peek behind the silver skies. Even the heavens were doomed. We were both 12 years old. We were reckless and vulnerable, thinking the world couldn't go above us. Truth is, we were so low that we did not think about climbing the stairs. We kept lingering there, like dust on unwanted picture frames. 

We were fighting. It was one of those fight where it started silently, piercing eyes and gaze, hush talking to loud whispers and screams. 

She was talking about beauty and how I was harshly judging it. How women shouldn't have to have long hair and a bust, how men shouldn't have to be tall and handsome -- that sometimes beauty lied deeper. You needed to take the dirt out to see the gem, she said.

I wasn't saying otherwise, I was only stating that I preferred girls with long hair and why a girl would want short hair if they looked beautiful with more?

"So you are saying that if I cut my hair, I wouldn't be pretty?"

"No! Well, you'd look different..." I said

"Do you even find me pretty?" I did not know how to answer. What if I said yes? What would be of our friendship? And If I say no?

She took my silence as a no. I saw her swallow and suddenly stands up. 

"Wait, where are you going?"

She runs to her house, her hair flying in the same pattern as the wind. I follow to her as she enter in the kitchen, opening cupboards after cupboards. She was looking for something.

"What are you doing?" I say repeatedly but all I got was silence and the slam of cabinets.

She finds scissors and seises it into her hands like it was gold. My first instinct was to take it out of her hands, but she was faster. She takes an elastic out of her wrist and puts her head down to a pony tail. Just as easily as she would have ripped papers in half, she cuts her hair. 

I couldn't tell if it was regret on her face by the usual gleam in her eyes, but she was smiling. She hands me her pony tail and says: 

- Do you find me ugly now?

And I should have said:

- You always looked pretty, Sora.

But I didn't.

I stayed silent. 

So I kept a picture of her short hair; because for me, she never looked as beautiful as she did that day. 

➳ Sora

The next day I woke up with this sort of excitement in my stomach. I had to wake up early to eat breakfast and read bits of my notes before heading downtown. I had the traditional English breakfast: sausages and eggs with my tea (2 milk, 1 sugar). Nice was the fact that my hotel offered breakfast as a complimentary, so I only had to pay 2/3 of my food.

Being a student made you cheap -- there was no denying that.

London was I expected, tall and beautiful, vintage mixed with modern. It was the kind of architecture you wanted in your room. I felt like a movie, walking with one earbud and window shopping antique stores. Picking objects in street markets, bumping into small talks with strangers. All I needed was someone yelling “cut!”. Although I don't think I needed to fake my enthusiasm, it was more obvious than anything else.

The weather was not nice, which was typical for the English. I had grown used to this -- to England, Oxford, studying until 5 and walking in the same neighbourhood for 4 years. It's so easy to leave your old life and start anew... It's just a question of forgetting your past and make new memories. I haven't forgotten the past. For the most part, it still haunts me. 

I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I nearly bumped into someone. I muttered a "sorry", but the man had his hat bent down and eyes covered behind shades just nodded. He was also followed by several other men around his age, except for four men in their mid 30-40s. They were the only one without caps or any shielding accessories.

They were also really Korean. One mid-height man was muttering about the London Eye, how pretty it looked. He was bummed that because of schedule, they could not afford to go. I frowned and continued to walk the opposite direction. What could keep these men busy?

I don't know if it was a coincidence or simply destiny but as an answer my question; a bus passed by my left. It was a big concert poster that was plastered on it — apparently a big Korean event was happening in London tomorrow. The special guests were none other than Exo. 

Sorry for the wait... Updates will come more frequently as I am on winter break!
Comments please? ^^

Lili x