Yixing had never been good friends with alcohol before.

In fact, their meetings had ended in him lying comatose somewhere on the ground (or something like the ground) almost every time. And the times they did not, he had bid the alcohol farewell with his head down the toilet.

Therefore, the suspicion written on his face could definitely not be missed, when his friends offered him a bottle of soju.

Soju. How he hated this .

“No,“ he simply stated, aiming for the kitchen to get himself some apple juice.

“Oh, come on!“ Sehun called after him, not hiding the mocking tone in his voice. “Just a few sips, it won‘t kill you!“

No, only flush my pride down the drain, Yixing thought.

Sehun, his roommate (a wonderful guy, he could strangle him daily), was barely at the legal drinking age himself. How, in God‘s name, had he managed to become immune against that damn stuff so quickly? He didn‘t quite look like someone, who had started drinking in high school, but who really knew? He‘d been quite popular after all, maybe he‘d bought himself some fame with doing stupid things.

Yixing snorted at the idea of a baby-faced Sehun choking on his first sips of beer.

“No, thank you, Sehun. I have an exam on Monday, I‘m not very keen on having a headache through half of the weekend,“ he said and made his way back to the common room, where, aside from Sehun, two other friends ogled him with wide eyes, making obscene kissing noises with their puckered lips.

Yixing wrinkled his nose. “You‘re disgusting.“

All three of them laughed. Yixing scowled. Although he was the oldest, they never took him seriously enough in situations like this. And it bugged him.

“Ok then,“ Jongin began, the usual warm expression on his handsome face, “You don‘t have to drink, but at least come to the club with us.“

“Yes, have a little fun before you spend the next 48 hours in your room. Alone,“ Chanyeol agreed and Yixing hated the way his mouth formed a suggestive smirk at his last word.

He was not only the oldest out of them, he was also the one with the least interactions with girls. Something the others could not understand, based on the many (not at all demonstrative) hints they gave him every now and then.

“I just went with you guys last week,“ Yixing countered, well knowing that this was a poor and wrong attempt on fighting for his freedom.

“Yixing.“ Sehun said.

Not good. Yixing swallowed.

He knew that the other calling him like that could only mean one thing: Sehun had come prepared.

“You know,“ the younger one began, placing his bottle on the couch table and pointing at his sports bag down to his feet.

“I found some pretty interesting underwear in your closet.“

Yixing blinked.

.

 

There was a huge difference between wanting to stay sober in a club and being able to stay sober in a club. Yixing was not able to.

The annoying people, the annoyingly loud music, the annoyingly thick air, the annoying flashing lights: how could you not go berserk in here - without alcohol?

It was his second drink already (he‘d drowned the first one in three greedy gulps, as soon as he‘d laid eyes on all the sweaty morons on the dance-floor), and he was still mad as . Oh Sehun. Kim Jongin. Park Chanyeol. Those sneaky bastards. How? How could they?

“Why do you have them anyways?“ Jongin had asked, pointing at the pink in Sehun‘s nasty hands. Yes. Pink . From his grandmother. She‘d sent them for his birthday last year, probably meant as a joke, but Yixing couldn‘t bring himself to throw them away. Now, he wished he had. Picturing what Sehun could do with such a possession, he desperately reached for his third drink, a still full glass someone had left right next to him. While taking the first sip (it tasted surprisingly good actually), his eyelids started to become heavy and his vision blurred a bit - the first sign that the alcohol had kicked in successfully. Not a heavy task, when it came to Zhang Yixing.

Nobody in his family had ever been a good drinker, except for his grandmother. Or maybe not even, because she‘d clearly not been sober when she‘d got those pink for him. The image of his grandmother in an underwear store, buying pink men(!)-, presumably talking to the shop keeper about her cute little 22 year old grandso—

No. Yixing spared himself the following pictures in his head, focusing on the drink again.

Just a few more sips from this and then I‘ll go, he told himself. Sehun wouldn‘t notice his leave anyway, he‘d slipped away with a girl pretty quickly after their entrance. Kai and Chanyeol were nowhere to be seen as well. Probably too busy with girls too, or even with themselves, who knew? Chanyeol didn‘t even try to hide his affection for Jongin, calling himself his biggest fan every freaking time they saw each other. Yixing shivered in disgust.

He put the glass back down, took one deep breath (a very nice thing to do in a club with sweaty people) and got up - a bit wobblier than usual, but still quite okay.

He boxed his way through the crowd, not even caring about being careful at this point. With each step he took, he felt dizzier, but he rather blamed it on the bad air than on the consumed alcohol. Wondering, whether the exit was in front of him or behind him or on his right or left side, he scanned his surroundings with half opened (more like half closed) eyes.

And that was, when he saw her.

 

 

>> 

Lu Han hated his life. He loathed it. And himself. For being so stupid to make a bet like this. Like pubertal 16-year-olds. He could still hear stupid Kim Jongdae talking in his smug attitude: “If you lose, you have to dress up as a girl.“

And of course, Lu Han had lost. Because he‘d been too proud to admit that he wasn‘t quite as good at temple run, as he always claimed to be. But who could know that stupid Kim Jongdae was a ing temple run genius?

So, Lu Han had lost. And he had dressed up as a girl (thankfully his mum had some clothes that went extremely surprisingly well with his body shape).

And of course, stupid Kim Jongdae had not told him that they had made plans for clubbing tonight.

Oh, how Lu Han hated it. Everything.

The dress was pink - sure it was (Jongdae had almost screamed in delight, when he‘d seen it in Lu Han‘s mother‘s closet) - and it was itching in all the right places. Well, at least he‘d not be the only one who grabbed his junk in the middle of this sea of drunk people. Pretty much all of them had their hands in dangerous places.

And thanks to all the Gods above, he‘d been allowed to wear flat shoes instead of high-heels. He was sure, he would have killed someone tonight, if Jongdae had insisted on that. “You‘re tall enough for a girl anyway,“ he had said, “Wear some ballerinas instead.“ So, they had bought ballerinas - in the biggest size possible (Lu Han had secretly tried them on in the last corner of the store, which had turned out to be the children‘s department, but ok. Thankfully, no mothers had been there, waiting for an explanation why a full grown man was walking around in women‘s ballerinas in the middle of the bright and colourful children section).

He could still not believe that he‘d really done this. No one could ever, evereverever, know about this!

Only one hour, Lu Han thought. Only one hour of staying here, then he‘d be free to go and he will never do any bets again. Never. Ever.

Out of the corner of his left eye, he saw a shadow growing bigger. When he turned his head, there was a guy coming up to him, clearly affected by alcohol, his legs barely holding his weight. Lu Han guessed him to be somewhere in his twenties, but it wasn’t very easy to tell in this hazy atmosphere. As the man looked at him with big eyes, Lu Han started to pray that this guy didn‘t know him from somewhere (that would truly be a catastrophe).

But then, the other waved and winked at him, attempting to flirt while drinking in the outlines of his body under the dress.

Lu Han would have loved to throw up on his face.

He waited for the man to be near enough to push him away (because he really needed to push someone right now), and after he‘d successfully got rid of him, he searched for a place he could hide. A place, where he would spend the remaining minutes, hoping that no one else would take unnecessary notice of a guy in a pink dress him.

Silently cursing, he decided on a barely illuminated wall, not too far away from the exit, but he had no chance to reach it, as someone took a hold of his wrist.

He faced another young man, dark hair, bright skin and a dreamy look on his face.

“What?“ Lu Han snapped. To his distress, the other seemed to be completely unfazed by his rude behaviour. And that made Lu Han even angrier.

The other said something, but he couldn‘t hear over the loud music and to be honest, he didn‘t even care. He just wanted to get out of here.

Therefore, Lu Han shook his head and tried to break free, but the other‘s grasp was surprisingly strong. Lu Han‘s eyes were unintentionally drawn from the pale skin of the hand holding onto him, over the arm, to the other‘s upper body, well defined under the black shirt he wore. He was sure, many girls would find this guy attractive.

But Lu Han wasn‘t a girl. He should get rid of him too.

While preparing himself with a row of profanities he could bless the other with, he was suddenly tugged forward, finding himself flush against the dark haired guy, their lips almost touching, and the words in his head turned into one big, fat paste of nothing. How did thinking work again?

“I said,“ the other told him, mouth so close to Lu Han‘s that he could feel the soft texture of his lips moving against his own in a delicate way.

“My pink would suit your dress perfectly.“

Well...maybe that was not so delicate anymore.

Lu Han let some seconds pass by, taking in what the other had said, trying to come up with any reason to not freak out about a statement like this. He couldn‘t. There was no reason like that. He yanked himself away from the other, shouting over the loud music: “What?!“

“I said,“ the other began again, but Lu Han cut him off, eyes burning with the urge to press his hands around the stranger‘s throat. How many dumb people lived on this planet?

“That‘s not a very good pick up line, you know,“ he shouted again, voice already hoarse, hoping the other would understand and make his exit like a good boy. If only Lu Han had high-heels now, he could easily— No. No, it was a good thing he didn‘t have them.

“No, not a pick up line. I have pink .“

Lu Han‘s eyebrows furrowed and he clenched his fists, as he looked at the other‘s face. Still handsome, still pretty much dreamy, his dark pupils slightly blown and barely visible behind his heavy eyelids. He‘d seen such a face before.

“Are you high?“ Lu Han blurted out.

The other blinked in confusion, leaning forward again, but Lu Han swiftly took a step back to protect his lips. Who knew, what kind of stuff this boy had already ingested tonight?

“You‘re high, right?“ he asked again.

The slightly smaller fellow shook his head, “No, I‘m Yixing.“

With an well aimed strike, Lu Han‘s fist collided with the other‘s jaw.

 

28 minutes. That was the amount of time, Lu Han had spent in that club. Thanks to this stupid Yixing. This stupid Yixing, who had not yet woken up from the nirvana Lu Han had sent him to. Actually, he would have never guessed, that punching someone could feel like such a relief. Normally, Lu Han claimed that violence was no solution for things, but in this case...

Let‘s say this stupid Yixing had earned it himself.

And now Lu Han sat here, next to him, after they had been thrown out of the club. That stupid Yixing had still be quite awake back then, but after they‘d reached the main street, he‘d passed out (not like as in dying, but as in falling asleep) and Lu Han, being the nice guy he usually was (not that he felt guilty or anything), had called a taxi and brought him home. Not to this stupid Yixing‘s home though (of course, he‘d not been able to tell him his address anymore and his phone was turned off, well great).

So Lu Han sat here, next to him, on the couch. In his own apartment. And still in this freaking dress.

Taking in the sight of the other sleeping deeply, soft lips parted, Lu Han wondered, if he could trust this stranger enough to leave him alone for a while. He really needed to take a shower. And he had to get out of these damn clothes, otherwise he would tear them apart, and his mother would not be too pleased by that. She didn‘t even know that he wore them tonight, so he better brought them back carefully (and secretly).

Listening to the other‘s heavy breathing, Lu Han decided that it should be fine and headed to the bathroom.

 

 

<< 

Yixing should have known.

He just should have known, that his relationship with alcohol would not go from arch-enemies to best friends in only one night. Actually, it had sunk even lower and he‘d been extremely unlucky today. Except for this night, he had no other memories of giving up to the effects of only three drinks so quickly. Plus, he felt awful right now, like really awful, his head blessing him with a million tiny explosions, making thinking nearly impossible. Had there been something else in those drinks? But he‘d ordered himself, there was no way the bartender would— The third one.

He loudly cursed himself, causing a wave of pain running through his head, as he got himself into a sitting position. At least, the couch was cosy. Much better than the one he had at ho—

Yixing blinked.

.

 

 

>> 

The warm water had a soothing effect on Lu Han, as he thoroughly cleaned his body. The smell of cigarettes (because people smoked in non-smoking areas), especially in his hair, had been replaced with a sweet neutral aroma; Lu Han allowed himself to close his eyes for a moment, letting thoughts pass by without really thinking about them.

When he finally found himself clean enough and turned around, he saw a dark shadow through the clouded glass of the shower doors.

The scream that echoed through his apartment a second later was nowhere near human.

 

It was just the guy from before, Lu Han realized as soon as he jumped out of the shower, holding the shower head in one hand - just in case he would need to defend himself in all his glory.

“W-what are you doing in here?“ he asked, strengthening his hold on the emergency weapon.

“I—“ the stupid Yixing began, still looking quite dazed with these squinted eyes of his, „I just wanted to wash my face, I didn‘t kno—“

“Well, didn‘t you hear the shower?“ Lu Han interrupted him harshly, feeling the calmness, the shower had brought him, fading away already.

“I- I thought that was only in my head, since I- I drank so mu—“ this time, the stupid Yixing stopped himself, as his eyes trailed down Lu Han‘s body and halted at the height of his waist. For the first time, his dark eyes grew wide.

“You‘re not a girl,“ he said in a surprisingly steady voice.

Lu Han looked down on himself as well. No, he clearly wasn‘t a girl.

Remembering all the bad words his mind had collected back in the club, he quickly lifted his head, but, again, had no chance to put them to use.

The other had already left the bathroom, the door closing almost too quietly for this heated situation.

And just like that, the stupid Yixing had managed to leave a dumbfounded Lu Han behind.

 

 

<< 

When Yixing found the kitchen, his momentary and due to the shock forgotten headache came back in such strong waves, he could barely swallow any sips of tab water (which tasted disgustingly plain, but why should he care about that now, when he‘d got himself in such bittersweet trouble?).

A boy. Not even that. A full-grown man, actually.

At first, he’d just thought that this girl’s chest was pretty flat (she’d still been a girl to him though), but then he’d looked down and—well, let’s say it was not what he’d expected to see.

Oh, God. Yixing leaned his body against the wall next to the sink and let his head rest in his hands. There was no way that there‘d been only alcohol in that last drink. He would have noticed that it was a guy, even when he‘d worn a dress (for whatever reason).

Dealing with embarrassment and his headache, Yixing barely heard the door to the kitchen opening and closing. Still, he automatically reacted with an “I‘m so sorry. I‘m really sorry!“

He could not look the other in the eyes though - too awkward (especially with these pictures in his head). Far too awkward.

The other sighed loudly. “How much do you remember?“ he asked.

Yixing thought about it for a while, trying to come up with any possible memory, but he only knew that he‘d drunk too much and passed out in the arms of a girl with a pink dress. Well, not really a girl as it had turned out in the end. Telling his version of the story (leaving out the part with the dress), he finally forced himself to take his hands away from his face - and was immensely happy (and a tiny tiny bit disappointed) that the other was fully dressed by now. However, the angry expression on his face was still there, causing Yixing to swallow hard. Hopefully, he hadn‘t done anything stupid back in the club, he really wasn‘t too fond of getting right into a bad relationship with the law.

“Have I- I mean, did something bad...like very bad...happen?“ he dared to ask, praying to every God above that the answer would be no.

“Oh,“ the other started, casually (but Yixing could clearly feel that it was not casual at all) taking a few steps closer, his brown eyes dipped in a dark glimmer. „You just talked about pink and about some other stuff.“

.

The other was so near now, Yixing had to break the eye contact to prevent himself from hyperventilating. His gaze was too intense. Not good, not good, not good.

“But since I wasn‘t myself back then either...let‘s call it a tie and forget about it, okay?“

Relief rushed through Yixing‘s body, he could have hugged the other - if he was a girl. But he wasn‘t and so, Yixing just came up with a lame smile and nodded, “Okay.“

“Okay,“ the other repeated.

Yixing could tell that there lay more behind this one word though. It said, now get the out of here and never come back.

“Why did you wear a dress anyway?“ he suddenly uttered and wow, where did that came from? His eyes found the other‘s in pure shock, as he realized that this was not a proper way to say goodbye.

“I‘m sorry,“ he quickly added, after he saw the other indignantly gasping for air. He was not pleased by this question. Not. At. All.

“I just- I just- I- I‘m sorry!“ Oh my, how much more mortifying could this situation possibly be? Yixing wanted to become one with the floor so badly. Could he not simply vanish from this world? He didn‘t even remember any details, what if they‘d—

“Did we have ?“

Yes. He must have a long forgotten death wish somewhere, asking a thing like this, in a moment like this, with a good-looking guy like this.

The following seconds were filled with such an intense silence, Yixing didn‘t even dare to properly breathe. Pleasesaynopleasesaynopleasesayno.

All at once, the other turned around and opened the door. “I wish I wouldn‘t have to do this,“ he said and Yixing expected the worst already. He would call the police, he would throw him into some secret dungeons, he would torture him, he would make him wear pink for the rest of his life, he would ki—

“But I guess you deserve some kind of explanation. So go, take a shower and come back quickly. You smell awful.“

 

 

>> 

There was definitely something about this stranger - Lu Han was sure.

If this stupid Yixing wasn‘t a special snowflake somehow, he would have never allowed him to stay any longer than 20 seconds after the incident in the bathroom. After all, he’d seen his p—

Yes, there really had to be something about him that made Lu Han‘s usually soft heart soften even more.

Maybe it was the panic, almost anxiousness, in his still hooded eyes, when they‘d talked in the kitchen, or his constant apologizing. Or maybe it was something else, Lu Han could not name yet. Whatever it was, he‘d not been able to tell him to leave, although he had thought about it more than once already.

Especially after the bold and somehow justified last question of this stupid and somehow cute Yixing.

Did we have ?

Pah! Lu Han laughed out loud while searching for pain killers. It had not been easy to ignore the headache of the other, even when he‘d done his best to hide it. But Lu Han had always had wary eyes.

See how nice he was? He wasn‘t even asked to do this and yet here he was, taking the painkillers, a slice of bread and a glass of water with him to the living room. Hopefully it would do its work and make this cute stupid Yixing steadily leave as soon as possible.

When Lu Han glanced at the clock on his phone, he let out a long sigh. 3am in the morning. What a nice time to spend with a stranger indeed.

“Uhm...“ Lu Han embarrassingly winced, when he heard the other‘s voice, silently cursing himself for being such a scaredy cat.

“I washed my shirt, I hope that‘s okay, it was a bit...dirty,“ Yixing said.

When Lu Han turned around, he wondered if the shirt really was the only dirty thing in this apartment, because his brain did not seem to function in its normally neutral way, as he took in the half- sight of the other.

This hot stupid Yixing was only in his trousers, leaving his bare upper body in full view for the rest of the world and Lu Han could not help but stare for more than a few seconds.

“Did I do something wro—“ “No!“ he quickly interrupted, tearing his gaze away and back to the glass of water. This time, Lu Han’s brain was the thing that did wrong here.

“I brought you some painkillers, so sit down,“ he said and before the y stupid Yixing could answer, he quickly added, „And just for your information: of course, we did not sleep with each other.“

Yet, Lu Han thought.

And then he froze.

What?!

 

 

<< 

When the other ended his little speech, Yixing could just sit and stare. Luckily, the pain killers had helped already, otherwise he would have collapsed again - he was pretty positive about that.

Oh Sehun is going to die, Yixing decided, naming the culprit of this whole disaster.

“I‘m really sorry,“ he somehow managed to say (he swore, he’d never apologized so many times within 12 hours before), shivering under the many side glances the other gave him. Despite all the headache, bad memories and still alcoholic (or whatever had been in that damn drink) influence, Yixing was not blind.

Dress or not, girl or boy - the other was gorgeous.

“What‘s done is done,“ he said, “I‘m sorry for punching you.“

Yixing just shook his head, “I deserved it.“

He really did. A punch and a headache seemed like nothing compared to what the other had been through: being insulted, then bringing home a person he’d never met before, letting him stay here and even take a shower and some painkillers… Yixing was not sure if one of his friends would have acted the same way in a situation like this; he wasn’t even so sure about himself.

“Thank you for taking care of me, I’ll do my best to make up for it,” he said, searching for the other’s eyes. They were big and deep and sleepy and beautiful.

Seeing that the anger was wearing off, making room for warmth instead, Yixing felt his heart skip a beat. (And he found himself silently thanking his grandmother for her extraordinary shopping trip.)

Suddenly, the other extended his arm, offering his hand, “I‘m Lu Han, by the way.“

Yixing couldn‘t prevent himself from smiling as he took it, the skin soft against his own.

“It‘s nice meeting you, I‘m high.“

As Lu Han‘s face fell, Yixing exploded in laughter and leaned forward to nudge the other‘s shoulder, still chuckling as he added, “Just joking. I had to, sorry.“

Gently squeezing the other‘s hand, he cleared his throat and said, “I‘m Yixing.“

“I know that already,” the other mumbled and glared at him, causing Yixing to laugh again.

And damn, if a blushing Lu Han wasn‘t the cutest thing ever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

---

Congratulations, you've made it through my first attempt on a crack fic (I feel it's more like plain comedy though but asdfghjklwhatever)!

Tumblr (= best and worst thing of all time) HIGHly inspired me here and I had lots of fun writing this oneshot!

Hope you enjoyed it too! Wish you all high (omg, please don't take this seriously, never take drugs kids NEVER!!!) happiness,

XXX, RaiCo

♥