P/S : This chapter is especially for Miss Midnightzgurl( did I pronounce it right?). Thanks for your support!♥

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CHAPTER 4 :  RELUCTANT HERO

Everything seem fine at first. I was happy in the begining, so happy that I wondered why those happiness were always taken away from me. Numerous times I was fooled by a split moment of hopeful happiness, only to have everything taken away from me in a blink of eyes, leaving me alone and worst, lonely.

I want that blissful feeling again but I was just too scared to start a new chapter in my life.

So often it was taken away from me that it made me questioned myself if happiness was ever mine to grasp upon.

Happiness is like a fairy tale. It was there to enlighten us for a brief moment but you knew it was not real. 

Not everyone can have happy ending. Certainly not for someone like me.

It had been days since I last stepped my feet into the attic. I had walked by the room too many times only to turn back and buried myself underneath my blanket. 

Maybe I was just scared, scared that the only friend I had (the one that actually understand me) was going to leave me like everyone else did. I just wasn't prepared at the worst outcome of my stupid tantrum the other day. The probability that Myungsoo would really be gone without saying goodbye was the main reason why I was too afraid to go up there. 

I grabbed my phone and another message from Woohyun entered my phone. I tried to patch things up with him after the sudden conversation between us. I'd learnt to share my thoughts with him (not about Myungsoo, of course) and on return he would learnt to listen attentively to everything I had to say. He suggested for us to meet because he missed me but I declined his offer, mostly because I cannot mustered enough courage to see him again.

Hi, dear. Have you eaten? Make sure that you eat. I miss you.♥T_T

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. I used to like all of this before but now, everything was just too cheesy for me to handle. Plus, the lack of sincerity was obvious. Perhaps he was sincere but not the type sincerity that I wanted.

They said I was not normal. That I was too weird. Some said that I was a snobbish brat that was too over my head. They refused to look beyond that. I can never really blamed them. 

Society will always judged you no matter what you do. That was not an assumption. It was a statement that many knew of but refused to admit. 

Society really is funny. They told us to be ourselves but yet they judged us for that. That was the reality that hurt so many people, yet we can never ran away from it.

I lazily punched in my reply and put the device back to its former position. 

Whatever. BTW, stop treating me like a child.

A sudden beep startled me. Another message from Woohyun. Talked about LTE fast. I didn't know how he done it. 

Forgive me for being crazily worried over my boyfriend. ﹋o﹋

Woohyun and his stupid emoticons. A heavy sigh left my mouth. I hated this because it would only lead to another argument. I just had be patient about this.

We agreed to go on our seperate ways. 

Another annoying reply from Woohyun. 

I never agreed on anything. You're the one who decided it by yourself. 

Another sigh erupted from my mouth. I refused to be any part of this conversation any longer and the only solution to this problem was to ignore him completely but something came up to my mind. Woohyun had been around people a lot. Maybe he can shared some of his wisdoms interacting with normal people (I dont know what else to call it) with me.

Can I ask you something?

Just ask away, dear(>^ω^<)

I tried to arrange everything in my mind so I won't told him the unnecessary details. A slip of tongue and Woohyun would never stopped bombarding me with his stupid, annoying questions.

Five minutes later, I'm still stuck. It was not what I normally do. If I did care about someone, I never really let it showed. I lost my faith in humanity long ago so I just kept my emotions hidden all the time. If I can prevent myself from being hurt again, I'll hide from every wandering eyes in this world but that was impossible and as bad as I wanted that, I was just a normal human that needed companionship.

I was so little when my parents started fighting. I was second eldest, so I always thought that it was my responsibility to protect my siblings , even if it meant I'm hurting myself in the process. I was only 8 when my parents screamed and threatened to kill each and us.I was 12 when my father burnt all of the family pictures right in front of our eyes. I was 15, just returned back from school and later discovered my younger sister covered in blood in her room, sobbing in silent. My father hit her with a metal rod.

I was only 16 when I lost my trust towards humanity. 

I didn't really have a lot of friends. No one wanted to be friend with a freak like me. I was casted away from society. Unlike my other siblings, I lacked the ability to react properly with society. I didnt know how to properly felt in the real world. No one taught me how. I learnt everything all by myself by reading books and anime. They taught me more that I thought they would. They provided some sort of sanctuary, a feeling of security and safety whenever the house was blared with insults and curses.

That was how I survived in this harsh world. I was surprised myself that I still breathing at this very moment. I guessed I am just a coward afterall. 

All that smiles.. that were all a facade that I was forced to put on. I just felt empty deep inside me. I didnt know how to feel like other humans. 

Soon after, I learnt how to forgive but never to forget because humans were repetition to me. No matter how they vowed never to do it again, they will always will. 

I kept all this pains, sufferings inside the deepest corner of my life. 

I was strong at first but slowly that bravey was out from me and until there was nothing else left. 

I was scarred.

I didnt have anyone else in my life. I threw everyone out because I was too scared to be hurt again. 

I sighed again . I doomed! I didnt know what I should do. I really wanted Myungsoo to stay but I didnt know what to do.

My phone lit up and Woohyun's message displayed in the dark.

If something bothering you, you should face it instead of running. You might lose the most important thing in your life if you refuse to take the first step.

I was dumbfunded. Did Woohyun just read my mind? Despite his overly clingy attitude, this guy gave great advice sometimes. I left my message unattended and ran straight to the attic. 

For once in my life, I didnt want to lose the only person who understand me the best. Silently, I prayed inside my heart that he was there. That he would waited , even for a childish brat like me.

Please be there. 

Please dont leave alone. 

I don't want to be alone.

The familiar room was finally in my sight and I wasted no time. I wanted to see him so badly. The overwhelming emotions revolving inside of me right now were more than enough to drive me crazy but I hold everything in. My hand grabbed on the knob and I twisted it open.

The sunray blinded my eyes and I let out a gasp in surprise, my hands instinctively protected my eyes from the powerful rays.I was hiding for too long in the dark that I forgot how bright it was in here.

"You're back." 

That voice...

"You came back.." 

He was...

"I'm glad. I waited so long for you to come back..." 

Myungsoo was there. He never left. He waited for me. For someone like me.

"Thanks for coming back." 

That was it. I cannot hold it any longer. All the emotions, everything that I hold in were out for the world to see. The tears that I desperately hold in finally burst out, dripping down at my red cheeks nonstop.

My legs finally gave up on me and I felt on my knees first. I never felt so glad in my life. 

"Sunggyu, are you okay? Why are you crying?" his hands were pressed firmly againts thr mirror, looking all worried.

After I just ignored his existance for the whole week, he was still worried about me? For someone like me? For a complete failure like me? 

“Gyu, you’re not a failure. Plus, I made a promise, didn’t I?”

I raised my confused face to look at him. Promise? What Promise?

Myungsoo sighed but the small smile that he always had on his lips never faded. He raised his pinky and recited the promise he made to me back then.

“You’ll get through this and I’m gonna help you. Every steps of the way.”

Every single thing that ever happened to me was like a nightmare. It was too painful for me to bear.

Because nobody wanted to feel this kind of pain.

Every days and nights, I remembered the days of griefs , the sadness.

I always thought I would never found someone like you.

But now, it was so strange for me

Too clear for me,

I could see your face .

I could hear your voice.

He was the one that was going to save me

The hero that I reluctantly let into my heart.

The reluctant hero.