It's okay ... it's love 

This is what I've been told..

Because they love me .. Then, it's okay 

Being hurt ... damaged by my own parents ... its love??? 

****** 

Flashback 

"Why do you let them hurt you" ??? Again, came the question that i hated the most ..

"They are not hurting me .. Who said they are" ??? i answered Again as always... Refusing 

"Yes they are ... look at you hyung !! " ...... Jongin desperately said pointing out to my injuries..It is not really much this time anyways.

“It’s okay " ... I look at my wounded body and sigh " they didn't mean to hurt me .. it .. It just happened " 

"Hyuuuuunnnggg "... Jongin again as always would say desperately, trying to make me see something I never saw... !! 

"I have to go home, I cant be late  ... See you tomorrow Jongin ah" ... I smiled to him and waved him goodbye... 

************

Next Day ... 

i went to meet up with Jongin in the play ground as we planned although being late for some reason but i had to see him ..

" HYUUUUUUNG " i heard the younger yell from the swinger that her was seating on waving at me and i waved back but not longer than a few seconds.... it hurt 

" hyung, what's wrong  " Jongin jumped off of the swingers and went over to me " kyungsoo hyung... Jebal " his eyes begged me and i didn’t know how to respond this time ..

i felt everything falling apart at that moment, Jongin sad eyes and that tear that went down his tanned cheek it .. broke my heart 

i could've handled the pain that I’m in just when i see his smile and feel his touches and caring for me but not when he looked Sad... i wanted to stop it and i tilted my head to avoid his looks 

" Hyung, you cant keep doing this to your self ... look at you, pleaaase Hyung " he begged again and i kept ignoring him " HYUNG.. LOOK AT ME " he yelled at me and pushed me to face him and look at him in the eyes. 

i could see it so clear, is worries for me but i cannot, i can't accept it... to accept the Fact, it would hurt more .. “Can you just hold me quietly .. please " this time i begged him and he took me in his arms holding me tight and started sobbing ..

**************

" umma, abba ,, abba please No, i didn't mean to be late .. AA abbah " i cried for forgivness but they won't listen .. i really didn't mean to be late but Jongin wasn't in a good state o be left alone but .. 

" WE TOLD YOU NOT TO BE LATE, IS IT HARD TO DO " my Dad yelled at me getting closer to where i was in the corner trying to hide my self to no use. he was holding that long terrifying rod on his hand advancing slowly to me .. i let out a gasp and called for forgiveness again but it wasn't heard. it only sounded like a whisper but what came next would really be heard to the next neighborhood.. i Screamed as my skin collided with the rod. this time it was strongest than before. the strikes were double than anytime .. " i did wrong .. f forgive m e.. Ap ppaa p llleasse  .. aaa " i kept on crying while my father was pouring his anger at me marking my skin with his rod and i kept hearing my shouts that filled the room but also my mom who was laughing.. yes she was happy to see me suffer and that view was just natural.. she must be happy to see me get what i deserve .. to behave me.

i woke up with a stinging pain on my back and legs, i couldn't move. i was still at the corner t my bedroom room where they left me last night. i didn't know when did i fainted but it's okay.. I’m used to it But ... I’m too weak to go to  school, i couldn't even move a bit. i stayed at my the same position for a while till i found it little just a little easier to move. i dragged myself to the bathroom and confronted the mirror .. i shouldn’t do that i knew but i wanted to see how bad it is this time. i gulped my own saliva at the view .. i really shouldn't leave the house for a while . 

Anyway, i discovered later that i was locked in my own room when i wanted to get something to eat but the door wouldn't open. i tried calling for any of my parents knowing that they are sure not there but i tried for a while until i gave up and went to my bed and laid my back slowly to not feel the pain. i had to lay on my stomach then cause the pain was unbearable and that lasted for few days..... yes.. I’ve been locked for days. 

glimpse of happiness, i missed him so much ..  During those days I’ve been locked i was thinking about him .. Jongin

he must be wondering about me. he must be worrying about me right now, those thoughts made me more down. i could always handle the physical pain because i'm used to it but Jongin Gloomy eyes, i couldn’t ... 

the reason is, I’ve been alone for my whole 18th years that i live, beside my parents i had no one to care for me until Jongin showed up. i never thought that anyone would like a fragile kid like me. i was the biggest disappointment to my parents. i was bad in studying and everything else, i just couldn't do anything right and that’s why my parents are a shamed of my but Jongin didn't care. he asked to be my friend out of nowhere. i thought he wouldn't last so i ignored him and refused his offer but he stuck around until i agreed and it was my happiest time when i spent it with him.

i would forget all the pain that i go through and only smile and enjoy his stupid jokes. his smiles would make me smile and every time it happened i would try and remember every little thing about it because i don't know when i will lose it so, i had to cherish every moment with the younger... 

by days went by Jongin started to notice my wounds and black skin. i used to say that i fell or hit on something but one day he couldn't believe my lies and forced me to tell him the truth and since then he was angry and sad when i meet him and i'm having some injuries. he would try to tell me that it's not normal for parents to do this to their kids and to hurt them but i will always ignore it .. still refusing the fact.

******

i heard the door sound click, i knew i was finally