He always see him looking secretly. Almost endearingly. It’s not obvious but he can sense it. When he walked through him where he always sit near the back door, he could feel the other noticed him. He knows that he do not have a good reputation. He could see a new bruise every day. As if it’s a makeup that he must put. So when Sungjong told him that he asked for his details, he’s not really shocked or intimidated. He don’t really know though. So he let Sungjong. So as to get information from him back too. He learned his character from other. It’s amusing how he can understand him this deeply though. He laughed at how far his imagination can go. Their image of being together. His hyung told him he’s ridiculous, but he shrugged it off by saying that he’s like that too with Woohyun hyung.

So, it really breaks his heart when he doesn’t seem to believe him, to trust him. He put a lot of effort to close with him. Sure he had put a lot of his guard down whenever he tried to touch him, become more comfortable that he able to see his gummy and giggly smile whenever he cracks a joke. But, deep down. There’s a wall that hold his beloved back. A barriers that stops his feeling reaching the other.

Myungsoo sighed for the nth time. So his plan of winning a spar with Sungyeol so that he spat out whatever makes he moody all day doesn’t work at all. Sungyeol doesn’t even eat at his house today. And Dongwoo was hanging out with Hoya before, expecting that Sungyeol’s here with him. So he bet the other just refused to eat and went out to visit him. But he doesn’t even bother to welcome him and just slammed the door with a blatant thanks after he passed him some packed dinner.

He rolled to the side. It’s 3 a.m. now and he’s tired like hell. His eyes may be shut but his mind wandering somewhere. About him. He rustling his hair messy. What should he do now? Wait, why he should be the only one give a damn about this? When the other doesn’t even care for him? Maybe he just should let him by himself? Yeah, right. He’s the one that wanted to be alone. So let him be.

Yeah, it’s not like he really love him. It’s just a pure curiousness and admiration. A feeling of fondness, a devotion and a weird attachment. That’s makes him yearn for the others and push him down and make him his. To taste again those full lips and bite it down. To tear those provoking shirt and feel his body all over. To … Huh? He shakes his head furiously. Aigoo, what’s with his head? Too much thinking and coffee.

But he has to make sure something. That it’s just not solidly a like. Whether he himself loves a human named Lee Sungyeol. And whether that human even loves him back. If it’s not like what he thinks … If it’s not love … Suddenly he feel a bricks crushed his heart, squeezing and pressing it hard and then being torn pieces by pieces. Okay, he’ll just ignore the solution for a while and let’s get some sleep.

*

*

*

So he continued his plans. First foremost he ignore him the whole morning. He noticed Sungyeol’s still moody and glaring everyone that walk past him but he’s better than yesterday. He almost raised his hand and waved at him early that morning but constraints himself from doing so. A laughing Dongwoo silenced, Hoya gives his infamous looks and Sungyeol seems stunned when he turned from them and trudge towards Sungjong. The first result is a looking down Sungyeol that tugged his two best friends away when he took a glimpse from his shoulder. He turned and shakes sheepishly at the frowned Sungjong.

“Hey, Myungsoo, Sungjong. Let’s join us. My mom packed a bunch of lunch for you two too.” Dongwoo coming near their seats.

“Really? Omoo, how nice of your mother” Sungjong claps in joy. He could save more for his new sneakers.

“Yeah, because Hoya slipped that Myungsoo will be joining us for lunch today. Sungyeol told him. So my mom cooked extra for you too.” He glanced at Hoya who’s looking at them with Sungyeol. Waiting for them.

“Owh, you could just told me Myungsoo. Okay, let’s go.” He had stand up but then they both furrow their eyebrows at the unmoving Myungsoo. The heck! He totally forgot about this. He really did promised with Sungyeol to lunch together today.

“Uhh, I’m having a meeting now. They just told me last minutes. Say sorry to Sungyeol for me kay? I’ve got to go now.” He dashed off to the front door. Away from Sungyeol and Hoya’s seats.

“What’s meeting?” Dongwoo asked peculiarly. Myungsoo’s being strange here. Not even apologized properly at Sungyeol.

“Don’t ask. It’s my first time too hearing this.”

*

“What the hell are you doing?” A furious Sungjong gawked at him.

“Told you before. Had a meeting.” Myungsoo blindly sit beside him. After coming back from spending his time at the field.

“Since when you joined a club?”

“Since now.” He feel the guilt that coming up for breaking his promise. But he shrug it off by dropping his head down on table and close his eyes.

But Sungjong still want to continue. “You know Sungyeol doesn’t even eat with us. He’s sleeping at the infirmary the whole break. And you’re not even bother to look if he’s back or not.”

So Myungsoo peek through his arm that become his pillow on the table. “I know you’re looking at his place now Myungsoo.” He heard the younger huffed.

“What’s wrong with you? Sure Sungyeol’s being a sullen idiot these two days but yesterday you still treat him well. So what’s the problem?”

“Why’re Sungyeol didn’t come back yet?” Urghh, he cannot stand the urge to ask. And it slipped naturally.

“Why the sudden care?” Before Sungjong could condemn him more, Sungyeol come in with a tired eyes. Obviously sleeping. So he just ignore a nagging Sungjong beside him.

*

It’s a self-study time. So he just scribble down the math’s answer. Not really having a mood to do it properly. Then he heard a big commotion coming from his right. He turned and saw someone was hugging Sungyeol. His Sungyeol. What the-? He fumed from their too much intimacy. Laughing and smiling that rarely shown smile. That Niel, coming from other class and just barge in without his permission. He feels that everyone must get a solid obligatory from him to touch Sungyeol. 

Okay, he feels that there’s less evident from Sungyeol that he may love him. And there’s more about his feelings towards the other. Myungsoo felt injustice. So it’s only him? The other doesn’t even care now? Fine.

So Myungsoo stand and walking towards his fangirls. Letting himself being surrounded. Sweet talking and smiling his dimple out. Making his fan fainting for the unbelievable sight in front of them. He then peek to see his reaction. Their eyes met.

He’s stunned. A clear hurt staining his lovely eyes. The face that Sungyeol never showed him before. A pang hit his heart when he saw his eyes glistening. He couldn’t say anything when Sungyeol let himself free from Niel and dashed out. He heard Sungjong hissed at him before bolted and follow the older out.

So Myungsoo leaving the girls and chased them out. He saw someone’s leg going up to the rooftops. He want to go and comfort him. all his experiment and whatever bull that going through his mind last night. He shouldn’t do this. He shouldn’t hurt him.

“Leave me alone Sungjong!!!” Myungsoo stopped by the stairs. Leaving him with a sight of Sungjong’s back and Sungyeol’s side.

“Calm the heck down Yeol!”

“ your calm!” Sungyeol growled. “He’s been ignoring me since this morning. His eyes showed how disgusting I am. Urghh, I hate this.” Myungsoo could hear his uneven breathing. He want to show up but his feet stuck to the ground.

“What’s his intention Jongie? I don’t understand. He’s so close to me one day and then so far another day. He said he liked me. I believe him although he’s a player.” He squat down. Grabbing his hair.

“Why did you believe him?”

“I- I don’t know. I guess I let my guard down too much. He’s going to leave me like others. I should’ve know this from the start. Heck, I did know this. But I refuse to acknowledge it. I- I know he’s hating me.”

Myungsoo was this close to dashed in and pulled him a hug, to tell him it’s not the truth, but Sungjong had blocked him by squatting in front of Sungyeol. He then saw Sungjong let Sungyeol’s hand from his hair and gently grabbed Sungyeol’s cheek. Locking their eyes.

“Yeah, he hates you.” His eyes find the truth from Sungjong, glistening and then tears burst out from his eyes. He sobbed hard.

“..Uhhh… Sungjong-ahhh… uhukks… Sungjong-ahh… Jongie… ahhh…” Sungyeol push himself forward and hugged him. “Ottheoke? Jongieeee… uhhh… what should I do?”

“Why’re you crying? You should know this from the start?” He patted his back softly. He let the other snuggle to his shoulder. Crying his heart out.

“But it hurts. I’ve should know this… but damn it hurts.” Then Myungsoo met Sungjong’s eyes when he turned. He mouthed ‘What the heck are you doing?’ Sungjong ‘shhhh’ him down.

He want to let Sungyeol continue. “Did the others do this to you too?”

Sungyeol nodded from his shoulder. “My dad and brother left me. They died in an accident. They promised me to buy me the birthday cakes. They lied. They hate me that’s why they left. Mom also lied. She said she loved me. But she brings those ajusshi home and tried to me. I run and mom also left me. Then I met Dongwoo. But Dongwoo is Hoya’s. I can’t interfere.” He whined like a little kid.

Sungjong hummed softly. Acknowledging. “So the reason why you’re moody yesterday…?”

“It’s mom. She must be ing around that dark road. I saw her eyes Jongiee, it’s full of hates. And now… now even Myungsoo’s hating me…”

“I’m not hating anyone. Especially you Sungyeol.” Sungjong felt Sungyeol stiffened above him.

Myungsoo sighed in frustration. “Hey, look. I’m sorry kay? I just wanna test you. It’s a bad timing though.”

“What’re you testing you idiot?” Sungyeol still not lifting his face up. So he had to squat down beside him. Trying to find his face. Failed.

“Whether my subject of love loves me back?”

“What’s the result?”

“I don’t know. Since he didn’t say anything about loving me, and since he’s hugging another person in front of me and also refused to look me in the eyes.”

So Sungyeol lift his wet face up. Eyes red and puffed. Meeting a guilty looked Myungsoo with his soft smile. “I don’t hate you. I don’t like you. I think I love you. I’m sorry.”

Sungyeol pushed his body up. Leaving a relieved Sungjong that’s been bear his body weight. “Me too”

“You too what?” Myungsoo smirked.

Sungyeol reddened. “I- I also think I lo-ve you.”

“What a magical words coming out from my beloved person.” With that he bear hugged him. Leaving a rolled eyes Sungjong aside.

“So I’ve been saving a world again today?” Sungjong nudged the couple with his feet.

“I’ll buy you the sneakers you told me other day.”

“Great paying. I should do this more.” Sungjong lalala’s hoping out from the rooftops.

Myungsoo hold his face between his palmed. His heart feel full. Although Sungyeol still looked at him with a puffy eyes. “So it’s your mom?”

Sungyeol nodded.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He shakes his head.

“Because you thinks that I’ll leave you like she did?”

He nodded again. Myungsoo sighed.

“But you know right now I’m not gonna leave you right?”

He saw some hesitation in Sungyeol’s eyes.

“…Right?”

Then he nodded slowly. Myungsoo hold his head towards his shoulders. Patted lovingly his back.

“I’ll do anything within my power to not leave you. And if I happen to leave you, you had to believe that it’s not because I hate you. Okay?”

“Are you gonna leave?” A choding voice somehow come out from him. Maybe from the intense crying.

“Not within my power kay? So rest assured. Let you guard as down as possible with me cause I’m gonna protect you kay?”

“Okay.” Sungyeol lift his head. Meeting his gaze with Myungsoo. But there’s a different look in his eyes. “But let me punch your pretty face before I do that. How dare you flirting in front of me!”

Myungsoo slipped out from him luckily and bolted towards the door. But unfortunately Sungyeol’s anger reached him when he grabbed him and land a hard punch to that handsome face.

Back in class Dongwoo could just shakes his head looking at a black eyed Myungsoo. Myungsoo just smile sheepishly at them.

*

*

*

*

So he’s back at the toy’s shop. The Anpanman is safe in his hand and now he’s out from the store with a fresh look. So the next stop is a coffee shop. But his path was stopped by someone. He looked up and frowned. Did he know this lady?

“You’re friends with Sungyeol?” She asked arrogantly. He twitched. So she decided to show up.

“Yeah, and?” He put up his guard. 

“Don’t you think he’s disgusting? A nuisance?”

“He’s not madam. In fact I find him very lovely.” He still put his politeness form first. It’s an older Myungsoo. Don’t be rude.

Then her face soften to a very motherly face. Her body loosen up and bring up a very beautiful smile towards him. A same smile like Sungyeol. “Sungyeol are so lucky to find you dear. I’m not a good mother and I’ve done something terrible to him. So the other day, when I saw him. I feel ashamed with myself and decided to run away. I’m so stupid.”

Myungsoo just looked at her. When their eyes met, he automatically smiled. He could sense her sincerity. “So could you tell Sungyeol that I don’t hate him anymore? And that I don’t blame him for anything that happen to his dad and brother.”

Myungsoo nodded. “Okay madam.”

“And please tell him I love him. I’m not able to come back to him right now. But after I’ve washed my hand, I’ll go back to him. As his mother.”

He smiled again. Relieved that his mother is not what he thinks she was. “I’ll make sure madam. I’ve got to go now. He’s waiting for me. And please take care of yourself madam.”

With that he waved happily at the woman. A woman that brings Sungyeol to the world. A woman that meeting him with the most wonderful person he ever met. He then strolled towards the coffee shop. From afar he could see him seeping his favourite drinks while playing with his phone. He cannot not noticed his playful smirks when he overly focused on his phone. Candy crush maybe.

He hold tight the Anpanman on his back and push forward the coffee’s door.  He let out his dimple when their eyes met. And he get back a choding smile shining from him. He can't wait to give his dearest the most beautiful present he could ever give.

-end-