“as season changes so does your heart, life becomes bearable but sometimes its not...” Ji Soo wrote in her journal with a heavy sigh.


“What’s with the heavy sigh? Focus on your lesson.” Han messed her hair and pointed to her private tutor.


“De.” She answered weakly with a pout. Ever since that time five years ago, she was forced to stay at home. So instead of going to a normal school, her brother hired professional private teachers. Though she had learned all she needed to since she has already reached her dream, she was still forced to take this Korean lesson.


“Spring...spring...spring...” She repeated on her mind as she doodled some rough sketches of clothes on some sheets of paper while her private tutor tried hard to get her attention.


She was one of the fashion designers in their company, but she never went there. She would pass her designs to her brother, and he would pass it to her team at the office. That was how it works every time.

---

“Guys let’s do some shopping this afternoon.” Jungmin asked his fellow members as they made their way to their fan meeting venue at Taiwan.


“Should we?” Youngsaeng asked and look at s too as they all agreed at the idea then preceded to bother their manager about it.


“Arasso. Arasso. I’ll make arrangements so that you can go shop. Aissh, ever since you’re moods have gotten better all you do is bother me.” Their manager jokingly teased them especially Youngsaeng.


“Wae~” Youngsaeng chuckled and look out at the window. It was raining lightly outside, and he was wondering if it was raining back in Seoul too.

---

“First you were not listening to your teacher yesterday, now you’re being a total monster by baking all these cakes.” Han mused as he saw one mini cake to another lined up on their kitchen table, as Ji Soo was busy decorating some of it.


“This is practice. Aigoo why can’t I get it right?” She said to herself as she made another mistake.


“Then re-do it like this.” Han got a spoon and scooped the ball of icing and placed it in his mouth.


“Ya! Oppa you’re such a pig.” She chuckled and wiped some cream on his nose.


“Really want to play like that huh?” Han said with a smile and took a can of icing and wiped some cream on her cheeks.


The two played like little kids on the kitchen enjoying the last day of the weekend since Han would have to work again tomorrow.


“I’ll be bored tomorrow. Junnie and my oppas won’t be home until Tuesday.” Ji Soo said with a pout then a yawn.


“Miss those guys that much?” Han said and walked with her outside their garden, one hand entwined with hers as the other was around her shoulders.


“De. I just learn so much when I am outside. It’s like I am in the life and history of each place I visit and Junnie and the others are all kind and fun to be with like you.” She said with a bit of sadness.


“Oppa, when will I be...normal.” She asked in a low distant voice. Han stopped walking then and looked at her with the same sadness reflected in his eyes.


“I don’t know sweetie, but your doctor said the chances are still pretty high.” He said honestly. He never lied to her about this kind of things. For him, hiding stuff from her would eventually hurt her hard in the end, so he tried to be honest always when he is talking to her.

---

“Do you think Ji Soo and Hyung would like the gifts we picked out yesterday?” Hyung joon asked Hyun joong.


“De. That girl is easy to please. Give her candy and she would smile like an alien.” Hyun joong said with a smile and opened his bag to get his Ipod.


Jungmin and Kyu jong was busy making noise by themselves so they didn’t notice the distant look Youngsaeng had as he was browsing through his camera.


“I’ve changed a lot recently.” Youngsaeng said to himself as he observed one picture to another. His past pictures look so lonely and sad, it was full of gloomy sceneries, but the recent pictures he took were all bright and colorful. It was like he didn’t take the pictures himself but another him.


He pondered on that thought the whole day. Thinking about it gave him this urge to go back instantly to Seoul and rethink and recall what he had been doing this past year. And most importantly to think how SHE managed to turned it all around for the better, and why he missed her innocent and warm smiles.

---

“Mai what time will oppa come home?” Ji Soo said as she sat on a chair by the window of their living room. It was raining hard outside and she was left with nothing to do since she already ate her early dinner.


“I’m not sure, but he told me to let you sleep if he isn’t home at 8pm.” She replied and asked a maid to bring some hot tea for Ji Soo.


“Mai, I don’t feel good.” Ji Soo said weakly and attempted to stand up. 


“Tell the driver to start the car!” Mai said in a hurried voice to one of the maids when Ji Soo suddenly coughed out some blood and turned pale than her usual white complexion. 


“Ji Soo-ah, where are you uncomfortable?” Her doctor said while she was being wheeled into the emergency room by a trolley.


“Head hurts, chest is heavy...can’t see clearly...” Ji Soo tried to respond coherently even when her vision was now blurry.


“Don’t give her any sedatives, prepare the things I asked for a minute ago.” Her doctor ordered and let out a heavy sigh as the door closed behind him.

---

“Ke Ke someone almost fell off the stage a while ago.” Hyung joon was teasing Kyu jong because he was running from one side to another during one of their songs at the fan meeting.


“I didn’t almost fell off, I did. Just that Hyun joong hyung was holding my shirt.” Kyu jong cheekily replied and stuck out his tongue.


“Finally, we are going home tomorrow morning.” Jungmin said with excitement as he thought of ways how they would spend their day off on Tuesday and the rest of the week.


“Where do you guys want to take her this time?” Youngsaeng asked them while they were walking towards the car park.


“What about the beach? Can we stay overnight?” Kyu jong asked Hyung joon.


“I’m not sure if Han Hyung would allow it.” Hyung joon said, suddenly nervous at their plans.


“Is he really that strict?” Youngsaeng asked since he noticed that it was not a minute late when Ji Soo’s brother would pick her up every single time.


“Sort Of. His just really protective since it’s only the two of them. My uncle and aunt dead five years ago.” Hyung joon said safely while Hyun joong was listening to their conversation getting ready to back their youngest member in case he needs it.


“Then can he come with us too so that Ji Soo can tag along?” Jungmin bugged him repeatedly until they got into the car.


“Aigoo. I’ll ask.” Hyung joon gave up.


“Arasso. We’ll talk about that later or tomorrow.” Hyun joong said to end the conversation and everyone just shrugged and continued talking what they can do when they get home in Seoul.

---

“Oppa kwenchana?” Ji Soo asked him when his hand that was wrapped around hers was shaking. She was inside her own room at the hospital already when he arrived.


“Kwenchana. Oppa just got scared. I thought I won’t be seeing you anymore.” Han said to comfort her but end up crying noisily.


“I’m still here right?” Ji Soo said with her usual warm smile and sang a nursery song in a low volume as she wiped his tears away.


“You’re mixing your Mandarin and Korean.” He chuckled at her wrong pronunciations and wrong wordings.


“Ssshhh! Be a good boy and listen.” She as she continued with her own rendition of the song.


“Is she asleep already?” Her doctor asked as he opened the door to her room.


“De. A few minutes ago.” Han said and tucked her hand inside her blanket before standing up to face him.


“My hunch was correct, it’s getting weaker. Though her body’s condition is better but it’s starting to reject her medications.” He said and passed to him sheets of papers of her test results.


“How much time is left?” Han asked in a shaky voice.


“I’ll be changing her medicine again but apart from that...a month or less...” The doctor said with a heavy heart. Like Ji Soo’s brother, he didn’t want to see her go just like that without a good fight.


“A month...or..less?...” Han whispered as some tears fell the moment he sat down and faced his sleeping sister.


“She was able to live for five years. Don’t lose hope Han. We’ll make it somehow.” The doctor placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.


“Sweetie, oppa will make you feel better soon okay?”

~~~*****~~~

“Ei! Why are you leaving me!” Ji Soo happily shouted when Jungmin and Hyung joon chased each other up ahead the shoreline of the beach they rented. Though they just arrived, they were all playing around already.


“Careful.” Youngsaeng held her arm when she almost tripped from not looking at where she was walking on.


“Ke ke. Komawo” She chuckled and giggled when she saw Jungmin playfully pushing Hyung joon towards the water.


Hyun joong on the other hand was keeping Han company since he was busy filming everything. Han started filming while they were preparing this morning, while everyone was making antics on the way and now here at the beach.


“Are you sure it’s okay for her to be this active?” Hyun joong asked referring to Ji Soo and the news that Hyung joon shared to him about Ji Soo’s current condition yesterday.


“De. Let her have fun. Cause it might be a while before she can go out again. We’re going to try and get her into treatment again if it will work.” Han said and smiled when he saw her sister having fun as she played along with Youngsaeng and Kyu jong beside her.


“Oppa get a card.” Ji Soo spread out some cards on her hands in an attempt to copy Kyu jong’s magic trick on the bus a while ago.


“Ke Ke you got it wrong.” Youngsaeng and smiled when she pouted since she guessed the wrong card.


“Kyu~opppaaa~” She whined and demanded him to teach her again.


“Ah molla!” She giggled and tossed the cards on air then grabbed the card she first saw.


“This is your card?” Ji Soo asked in a childish way. Kyu jong was just chuckling.


“How did you get that right?” Youngsaeng said in a fake surprised tone. It was not the card he picked but he didn’t want to make her pout again even if he likes seeing it.


“Just guessing. I know it’s not your card anyway.” She shrugged and went to chase after Jungmin and Hyung joon.


“Wae~” Youngsaeng laughed as he and Kyu jong went to join in too.

---

“Youngsaeng oppa, where’s Junnie?” Ji Soo asked him from behind making him jumped.


“Ya! Don’t scare me like that.” He said placed a hand on his chest while the other was holding his camera.


“Ke Ke scaredy cat.” She teased and smiled as her eyes wondered around the flower fields.


“Hyung joon went to get some supplies with your brother. Want to tag along with me?” Youngsaeng pinched her cheeks and answered her question.


“Okay!” She answered in English and happily skipped and walked along the pathway.


“Amazing right? We are supposed to be in a beach but a park like this exist.” Youngsaeng said as they walked along the tall flowerbeds with tall trees surrounding them.


“De. If I hide here you won’t be able to find me.” She mused and bent down.


“Ne. but if you’re going to hide make sure I didn’t see where you hid.” Youngsaeng chuckled and walked over to the place she bent down. His forehead wrinkled when she was not there.


“Gotcha!” Ji Soo shouted behind him making him jumped again.


“Ya!” He shouted back when he got startled. Good thing his camera was hanging on his neck or else he would have thrown it. 


“Ke Ke.” Ji Soo stuck out her tongue and continued walking in an attempt to ignore him playfully as she held out one hand to touch the soft petals of the flowers she passes by.


Youngsaeng held his camera and took a shot of her as he called out her name.


“Wae~” She smiled and continued walking.


Youngsaeng bit his lower lip trying to hold back his smile and started walking towards her.


“There’s a large tree up ahead, come I’ll show you.” He said and took her hand that was playing along the flowers and pulled her towards the other direction.

---

“Hyun joong where’s Ji Soo?” Han asked him when they got back from buying some groceries.


“She went out to the flower fields with Youngsaeng. Kyu jong and Jungmin went to get them already”. Hyun joong said to assure him and peeked inside the bags.


“No food for you since you’re lazy.” Hyung joon smacked his hand but Hyun joong just ignored him and got a carton of milk.

---

“Ji Soo-ah be careful arasso?” Jungmin said while looking up to where she was.


“Ne!” She replied as she carefully balanced and sat on a branch.


“I should have never brought you here.” Youngsaeng said while shaking his head as he looked up too.


“Dongsaeng-ah kaja let’s go down already.” Kyu jong asked her. He climbed up with her when he saw her attempting to climb while Youngsaeng was pulling on her shirt.


“Arasso. But I want Youngsaeng oppa to sing a song first.” She said happily and looked down at Jungmin and Youngsaeng.


“What song?” Jungmin asked.


“The one he was singing on the car a while ago. It’s perfect for this weather.” She replied.


“Hyung she wants you to sing Condition of my Heart.” Kyu jong yelled for him to hear.


“Arasso. I’ll sing but you have to come down after.” Youngsaeng chuckled and leaned on the tree and began singing while Jungmin sat down as the three listened to his angelic voice that was spreading along the vast flower field and gentle wind.


Youngsaeng sang wholeheartedly. For some reason a while ago, he wanted to ask Ji Soo if she would want to go out with him. From the continuous reflecting he had these past days, he was not sure if it was love but he was sure it was not just mere friendship that he wants from her.


But of course, s wouldn’t be s if they hadn’t showed up at the wrong time. So he thought of finding another timing, since there were still many days ahead, and he was in no rush.


“The night that you said goodbye, you expected me to die. But I made a brand new start, and got on with my life. I did what I had to do, to get myself over you. I’m not falling apart...you underestimate the condition of my heart...” Youngsaeng sang out the last verse and the others opened their eyes.


“Whoa! Oppa’s voice is really angelic.” Ji Soo said with a smile as she smiled down at him and he did the same to her.


“Ei, then what about us?” Jungmin pouted and stood up.


“Kyu oppa’s voice is warm and gentle, while Jungmin oppa’s voice is...”


“A voice of a Mal!” Kyu jong interrupted her, which made her giggle.


“You promise to go down.” Youngsaeng said and walked to the spot just a few feet from her.


“Ne!” She answered and stood up but lost her balance.


“Ya!” Both Jungmin and Youngsaeng shouted.


“Ke ke. I got her. I’m too lazy to pull her up. Hyung catch her instead.”’ Kyu jong said while holding her with both hands.


“Ya! Praying Mantis hold her more securely.” Jungmin shouted when Ji Soo was dangling from his hands but she was chuckling. Actually it was not that high from the ground, but it was still high enough for her not to reach it.


“Here you go. Catch.” Kyu jong chuckled and Ji Soo did the same as he let go of her hands.


“Aigoo. Didn’t I just tell you not to underestimate my heart?” Youngsaeng grumbled as he caught her. She on the other hand was just smiling happily.


“Kwenchana. I know you would catch me. I trust all of you.” She said as she stood up pinched his cheeks.


“Kaja. It’s almost time for our late lunch.” Jungmin called out to them and playfully shook the tree as Kyu jong made his way down.

---

They had fun eating lunch and playing with water, bullying and teasing each other. Taking pictures and videos, making fun filled memories as a group. The day went by fast as night crawled in and the sun came out the next day. Everyone was seated in front of the fireplace to warm up since all were satisfied and fed.


“We are like pigs that are about to be roasted.” Kyu jong commented as they all made themselves comfortable.


“A roasted turtle.” Hyun joong started cracking up and laughed non-stop making the others smile for no particular reason just by looking at him.


“I’ll go check if Ji Soo is awake already.” Han stood up leaving the five men chuckling and teasing each other. It was cold that morning, the cold breeze from the sea filling the air even though it was already 7am.


“Sweetie, rise and shine.” Han said with a smile but he it faded away when he noticed she didn’t respond like usual.


“Sweetie?” He called out and walked closer to her.


“Ji Soo!” He said alarmed and touched her head. She was burning with fever, but her lips were pale blue.


“Jun!! Get the car ready!! Pali!!” He shouted as he grabbed her medicine and injected it to her and putting on her jacket at the process too.


“Hyung what’s wrong?” Hyung joon ran towards the room when he heard him shout.


“Get the car. Now.” Han replied as he carefully carried her into his arms.


Hyung joon hurriedly grabbed Han’s car keys and started the car. Leaving the others in total confusion.


“Hyung joon ah what’s wrong?” Jungmin asked as he opened the door for Han.


“Hyung can you explain it to them? You know where to find us right?” Hyung joon said to their leader and he nodded.


“I’ll handle the rest here. Pali. Be careful on your way.” Hyun joong said seriously. Worry drawn on his face like the ones in Hyung joong and Han’s face.


“Hyung what’s going on?” Jungmin repeated as they watch the car drove off in a hurry. Youngsaeng and Kyu jong was quiet, as if trying to comprehend what was happening.


“Let’s pack up first so that we can go after them at the hospital. I’ll tell you everything on the way.” Hyun joong said and went inside to fix their things. They need to be there in the hospital soon. Knowing Hyung joon he would be bawling like a baby, which wouldn’t help Han in any way.


The rest followed in silence as they quickly pack and threw all their things inside the van as Hyun joong started the car.


“Hyun joong, tell us.” Youngsaeng said. He had a bad feeling about it, and he doesn’t know why, but his heart felt like breaking.


~~~