I remember the first day I met him. It was a chilly, rainy day in Seoul. My friend and I both flew to Seoul from LA a few days before because of the SM auditions that week. I was in a room with other SM trainees including one of my friends. They announced names of new groups debuting that year and one of them was a twelve member boy group debuting by the name of Exo, separated into two subgroups, Exo-K and Exo-M. They performed that day we were there.

After their performance, I was brought over to meet the boys. One of them stood out to me, he was a young performer who went by the name Sehun, he had short brown hair and beautiful moon shaped eyes. I remember him smiling brightly, being a charmer. We talked for as long as possible, until I was pulled away. He somehow left that day with my number in his cell phone.

About a month after meeting him and the rest of Exo, he then started using my number to his advantage. Although, we lived halfway across the world, away from each other, we always texted. Instantly, I felt a form of trust with him. He made me feel safe. At the time, I was going through a rough time with my boyfriend. He ended up always being the shoulder to cry on, when I couldn’t trust the world. He never judged he just told me

“Everything will be okay.”

Somewhere in between all of the hang outs or me crying into his shoulder while he held me tight, we became best friends. I trusted him with all of my deepest secrets, fears, and dreams. He knew all of mine and I knew all of his. That’s how we worked.
The first time he asked me out is still fresh in my mind, like it was just yesterday. I was in utter shock, to tell you the truth. I was just stuck in my own little world. Yeah, people mentioned every now and then about how he seemed to like me or had a “crush” one me, but to me, he was my best friend not someone I would risk losing.

From then on, he would always bring up the subject of us going out together. It took me a good couple months to realize, it wasn’t that I didn’t have feelings for him, I was scared of falling completely for him then him walking out on me.
The first kiss we shared was honestly the most pure kiss I’ve ever had. All it had was pure meaning and love towards it. We were in a car driving home after one of our infamous hang outs. I was in the middle seat while he was on my right looking out the window. I turned my head as we passed some empty streets, as I turned back towards him, his lips somehow managed to end up on mine. It didn’t take me long to kiss him back. After seconds of kissing, we pulled away. He ran his hand over my cheek and said,

“Tell me the honest truth and I’ll leave you alone about it if you don’t feel the same way. Did you feel something when I just kissed you?” I stared into his enchanted eyes.

“All I felt was sadness when you pulled away and started running your mouth.” I giggled, as a smile appeared on his face. We reconnected our lips. And that was only the beginning.
From there on are only countless memories of laughter and love. I can truly tell you that I was in love with him.

Through the two years we were together, we went through a lot. Somewhere along the lines, we ended it. We ended everything we had. It wasn’t over some stupid fight, or cheating. It was that we are at two opposite points in our lives. And I’ve now come to terms with that. He will always be my first and true love. I think our love is the kind where it’s all serious and not just for fun. It was meant to be for when we were older and looking for an entirely serious relationship.

I know we aren’t meant to be at this time in our crazy lives, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t meant to be. I’m going on hope that we will end up back in each other’s arms one day, when the time is right. I’m just going on that saying, “If you love something set it free, if it comes back it’s yours, if not then it wasn’t meant to be.” Until then, I’ll be growing up and living my life, knowing that one day, when the time is perfect, I will have not only the love of my life back, but my best friend.