It was Monday again, and I was standing in front of the front door, gathering myself together. Last night Tiffany and Yongguk moved to a hotel in the centre of the city. It wasn't because of what happened in the party. It was the original plan they had all this time. Tiffany wasn't mad at me. She seemed to be alright after the small word-fight between us. It wasn't like it would've been the first time we had an argue anyway. It's neccessary when you have a friend so close. You simply just can't live in peace all the time.
   Yongguk understood, of course. He would probably even understand my little secret if I would've told him (about Jackson and I), which I obviously didn't tell him. Like I didn't tell it to anyone either, not even Tiffany. She had asked about Jiho though, before they left. I ignored her. I couldn't even say his name without feeling a sharp knife against my chest. Everything I did was wrong. It was wrong towards everyone.
   Absently, I opened the front door and stepped outside. The first thing I felt was pure anger. Towards myself of course. Secondly, I saw the familiar car on the side of the road. I swallowed. One thing I at, lying. I couldn't lie to Jiho. He would probably see that I was hiding something. He was good at reading people. Or more correctly – reading me.
   I opened the door and sat down on the front seat. Jiho's eyes were on me. Firstly he checked me out – like every time I met him. Then he observed my face.
   ”Morning”, I said and fastened my seat belt. Jiho managed to pull his lips to small smile. ”Morning neighbour.”
   Then deep silence. Jiho focused his eyes on the road. I focused my eyes on the passing houses and small spots of land. I couldn't think of anything to say. Not even a word. For five minutes, we just sat there, Jiho driving, me looking out of the window. Finally he opened his mouth and spoke.
   ”I can't ask you to forgive me for leaving you back at the party, but I truly am sorry...” he mumbled, almost whispering.
   ”I-It's fine.” I felt as if my tongue had dried up into an old crusty root.
   ”No it's not fine. You're not fine”, Jiho talked back, his voice being louder this time. ”But you need to know that it really was important. Minho called that Tablo had asked us to come to his studio to hear us rap... It's a dream-come-true Miranda! He wants to collaborate with us!”
   ”That's... that's amazing”, I stuttered, rubbing my neck and holding back my hatred towards myself. I had ed up. Bad time.
   ”And I still need to talk to you”, Jiho said more gently. His voice made my stomach grumble. ”I really need to. You don't seem too good, I think you're depressed Miranda. I want to help you.”
   ”Please don't...” I mumbled. Jiho didn't hear me. He wanted to help me. He had all the rights to know. ”Jiho I don't think-”
   ”I like you, Miranda.” He turned his eyes from the road to look at me. I felt a huge knife drilling into my chest. It made me want to vomit. ”...like, more than as a friend.”
   ”No...” I whispered.
   ”No?” Jiho asked. ”You mean you don't feel the same?”
   ”No! I mean...”
   ”You do?”
   ”Yeah but...”
   ”Yeah?” I could see a sparkle in Jiho's eyes as he looked at me and our eyes met. It was the first time during this conversation when our eyes met. And I couldn't look away. I had to force myself to turn my gaze elsewhere. ”Yeah.”
   ”Well then”, Jiho said his lower lip. He always did that, and I couldn't not imagine myself doing the same. To his lips. ”What's gonna happen?”
   ”We're going to school”, I said. And I couldn't feel more terrified about anything else.

When I met Eunmi, she ran to me, smiling like she had just seen something heavenly beautiful. I forced myself to smile, for her. Inside, I was crying. No, I was bawling my eyes out. ”I guess everything worked out fine with you and Bambam...?” I chuckled and punched Eunmi's arm. She smirked and bit her lip. What an amazing safe Miranda. Now Eunmi woulnd't talk about Jiho or anything else that had something to do with me and my life. She would tell every tiny little detail that had happened between her and Bambam. And all I had to do was listen.
   And I listened. During the