Dumbfounded, Namjoo couldn’t seem to get her brain working. Only stood there with Sehun trying to shove her behind him, but her feet were rooted to the ground. Yet she was afraid to say anything for fear that she would rip Soo Ae’s only happiness from her, and the only happiness she’d known for a split second. All of it would slip from her hands, and would continue to slip away if she opened to fight, because it was true that Soo Ae was not Sehun’s daughter.

“Namjoo’s not going anywhere!” Namjoo witnessed Sehun raise his voice for the first time. “She’s my wife and I won’t get a divorce. She’s not allowed one step outside of this house without me!”

“How dare you!” His mother raised her hand to slap him, but his father immediately restrained her.

“Would you stop trying to hit them?! What era do you think this is?!” his father scolded.

“Why do you care?!” She screamed at him. “Is it because you still love the granddaughter of yours?! She’s not even Sehun’s daughter! How embarrassing is that?! What will the world say about this?! We have an illegitimate child in our house!” Then turning back to look at her. “You ! Was life so miserable that you had to cling onto my son!? Was there not anyone else for you to go after?! How dare you even bring your daughter into my home!”

“I’m the one who married her!” Sehun’s voice echoed off the walls. “I clung onto her. When Namjoo wanted to get rid of me, I begged on my knees for her. If you want to kick her out, kick me out. Call me all the names you want, because your useless son is the one who wanted them.”

Namjoo glanced down when he wrapped his hand around hers. She was suddenly conflicted between staying with him and fighting for her own cause.

His mother stared at them sternly, “Then either I leave this house or you give them up.”

Namjoo glanced at Sehun from behind. She was certain he wouldn’t know what to say. He wasn’t the type to abandon family. He squeezed her hand before turning, pulling her up the stairs after him. Even as they made it to their room she could feel her heart pounding, its sound deafening her ears. All her senses stunned and all she could think about was what was going to happen to Soo Ae.

Her daughter…that little girl…sweet and innocent…had been so happy. She finally got her dad after being such a good girl. Suddenly thinking back to how Soo Ae had cried to her that night, asking why she hated Sehun and why he couldn’t be her father, tore her heart up. Namjoo had made it happen, but now that dream was being ripped to shreds. The anguish building up within her made her want to scream out to the world. Why was this happening to them?

As the door closed Sehun whipped around, grabbed her chin to tilt her head to the side. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” Namjoo pushed his hand away, unable to look at him. She was more than worried to death about what was going to happen from now on. She’d known from the very beginning something like this was going to happen. No lie ever remained hidden. Especially not under this roof.

“No, you’re not. Your face is all red,” concern ate his eyes, his brows drawn together upset. Sehun her hair then tried to pull her into a hug, which she fought. She didn’t want his comfort right now. She wanted to be alone, have some air, gather her thoughts, and try for a solution. If Sehun was there, she’d just feel like curling up. Right now, she didn’t want to act like a pitiful young woman who needed consolation.

“Sehun, stop,” Namjoo tried to push him away only to have him tug her forward with more strength until her face became pressed into the nape of his neck. God, she hated how strong he’d become, but part of her appreciated the fact that he was a comforter even when she didn’t want him to be. His hand rested on her nape comfortingly. Being so close allowed her to recognize the strong scent that was his.  

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t know this was going to happen.”

Namjoo stood there, momentarily quiet before allowing herself to hold onto him. “What’s going to happen to Soo Ae? I don’t want her to lose everything because of this.”

“She won’t lose anything.” Even he sounded determined. “Wherever I am, you two are.”

She would have laughed at how corny it sounded, but the moment was not fit for humor. Her heart was sick once again. Soo Ae might just be five-years-old, but even a child young as that would know something was going on.

Withdrawing, she said, “I have to go see Soo Ae. I need to make sure she’s ok.”

“All right, she’ll probably want to see you too,” he agreed. “I’ll wait for you here.”

The first thing Namjoo did when she walked out was wipe her palms against her pants to brush off her nervousness. Then using her hair to hide her red cheek, started toward Soo Ae’s bedroom. Upon opening the door she spotted her daughter sitting on the bed, with her head down. When she heard her walk in, she immediately turned, but did not smile like she would have. There was worry written all over her face.

“Hey,” Namjoo walked over, joined her on the bed.

“Mommy, are you ok?” Soo Ae immediately inquired, her eyes searching her face for injury.

“Mommy’s fine, don’t you worry,” Namjoo assured. “You must have been scared.” Suddenly quiet, Soo Ae pursed her lips together. “What’s wrong, honey?”

When she looked up at her there were tears watering her eyes, “I’m sorry, mommy. It’s all my fault.”

Namjoo’s lips threatened to curve up to show her daughter that nothing was wrong, but she felt her heart tremble so the smile never came. How could she pretend when Soo Ae saw her get hit? Just what was she denying? It wouldn’t help Soo Ae, it wouldn’t help either of them.

“It’s not your fault,” she shook her head, running her hands over Soo Ae’s tiny face and cupped her hands around her face. “You did nothing wrong.”

Her lips downturned as she struggled not to cry, “But grandma hates you because of me.”

“No, no,” Namjoo helplessly shook her head, wanting to cry as well. “How could you think that?”

“I know, because grandma’s never nice to me and because of me she’s always angry with you,” Soo Ae told. “If I wasn’t here, grandma wouldn’t hit you. I’m so sorry, mommy.” As the huge droplets of her tears fell from her face, Namjoo immediately embraced her.

“It’s all right, Soo Ae. You did nothing wrong. You’re not at fault, so don’t cry.” Namjoo comfortingly patted her back. “Don’t cry, hmm? We did nothing wrong.”

Namjoo stayed with Soo Ae until she fell asleep and she hoped her daughter would sleep long. Carefully closing the door behind her she paused between their bedrooms. Sehun would still be in their room waiting for her to return. They probably wouldn’t be having dinner in the house this evening, but Namjoo had yet to decide where she stood. First, she knew she had to see someone.

It was quiet now downstairs. Eun Bi and Sehun’s mother must have departed for the moment, probably to cry their hearts out because they were so upset. As Namjoo turned to head toward Sehun’s father’s office, she wondered who it was that had instigated the DNA test. Eun Bi? Sehun’s mother? Most possibly Eun Bi, she decided.

At first she hesitated in front of his father’s office, wondering if this was the right time to see him. Namjoo knew if she didn’t do it now she wouldn’t later. It was best to clear things up right after they happened, she knew that, had learned it. Plus, the kind man had been so nice toward them and so loving toward Soo Ae all this while. Namjoo believed he at least should know and receive her apology. Because of her, Sehun had lied his way through everything and she had lived the lie with him. Not only was he at fault, she was just as guilty.

Then the thought came, the marriage shouldn’t have happened. She suddenly wished she should have run away with Tao at the chapel. She should have taken his hand and run, but she hadn’t and now her little girl’s heart was hurting.

Gulping and gathering her wits, she knocked. There was a moment of silence that passed through the door before he answered, “Come in.” Whether he had been expecting her was something she didn’t really want to know. And if he was going to scold her, she would take it.

Opening the door, she walked in and closed it behind her. At first her eyes wavered around the office before courageously looking at him. The aged man suddenly appeared weary and tired. He didn’t speak so she stood while gathering her thoughts. In the end, she figured there wasn’t much to say. The truth was the truth.

Namjoo felt her pride shake as she slowly got down on her knees before him. Placing hands on knees she lowered her head, “I’m sorry. I should’ve known better than to let Sehun have his way. It’s my fault this happened. I didn’t stop him, but please, don’t hate my daughter. Even if she isn’t his, a child shouldn’t have to know this burden. I should have been a better mother, I should have taught my child better, but I didn’t. I know you won’t accept me, but please, I’m begging you, don’t hate my daughter.”

Whether he was baffled or not, he didn’t show it. If he was too shocked, he didn’t react or try to pull her up. She didn’t expect him to. She’d destroyed all trust he had in her. Right now he must be regretting having favored her, having loved Soo Ae like his own little granddaughter. How miserable and betrayed he must be feeling, knowing he’d lived the lie, too. He must have really wanted a child that was truly Sehun’s.

Slowly getting up, Namjoo respectfully bowed. “Thank you, for having been kind to my daughter. If you want me to leave, I will.” A seed of pain planted itself into the very pit of her heart where it began growing. Namjoo suddenly realized, she still wanted to stay.

She waited for him to say something, anything. He didn’t. So turning around she walked out and back upstairs. At the very top she stared down the short hallway that would bring her to their bedrooms and recalled how she hated being in the house, living there. In the end, it had become home for her and Soo Ae. A short dream lived.

It seemed like there wasn't much time left. It was only reasonable that they no longer wanted them there. Even as much as Namjoo tried to guess against it, she knew it was unavoidable.

*****

Sehun sat there for a very long time with the silence building up around him, like bricks stacking atop one another. He loved his parents very much, he did. No matter how strict they were, how mean they were, he loved them. Yet, he couldn’t give Namjoo up again. Finding her and getting back with her had been so difficult. He wouldn’t go through it again when he’d only begun to get closer to her again. How many persons could Namjoo depend on if he wasn’t there?

His mother would continue, at all odds, to try to kick Namjoo out. He was very afraid that if she hurt Soo Ae in the process, Namjoo would pack up and leave. Her daughter was everything to her and he knew well Namjoo would choose Soo Ae over him any day. He couldn’t bear the thought of it happening. He loved them so much. He couldn’t lose them.

He waited a long time, thrown back and forth between being angry with his mother and forced to understand her. In the end, he only knew he needed Namjoo in his life. He’d never been happier than he was now. And it was all because Namjoo had married him.

At the click of the door he turned to see Namjoo walk in. Quickly getting up, he walked toward her and reached for her arm. Touching her was the last thing he could do to assure himself that she was still there.

“How is she? Is she asleep?” Namjoo nodded. Sehun sighed, relieved. “Are you hungry? I think we should let mom cool off tonight, so lets go out for dinner.”

He expected her to agree. He knew, too, that Namjoo wouldn’t want Soo Ae to witness his mother’s wrath.

“Lets just eat at home.”

Surprise struck him hard. “Namjoo…”

She inhaled deeply, “I didn’t do anything wrong. Soo Ae didn’t do anything wrong, so why do I have to act like I’m scared of being trotted on?”   

“I’m sorry…”

She sighed, as if irritated and shook her head. “No, it’s not your fault. All I did was marry you and brought Soo Ae into this house, but what crime is that? I just got married and my daughter got her father.”

It sounded more like she was talking to herself than communicating with him. He listened, but didn’t say anything. Right now, she was certainly more flustered about everything than he was. In the end, the only plausible thing he was able to do was rub her back to comfort her.

“Namjoo,” he began after a moment, “I thought about it and I think we should move out.”

She finally turned to look at him, this time being the one struck by surprise.

He smiled to assure her it was all right, “It doesn’t matter if mom likes you or not. You and Soo Ae are already my family.”

*****

If she could really believe Sehun’s words, she’d probably be in heaven right now. Instead, hell seemed to be burning a fire before her.

Soo Ae had just woken up and the smell of food was drifting upstairs from the kitchen. Her daughter was hungry and the last thing Namjoo wanted to do was starve her. Still, she knew Soo Ae was afraid of Sehun’s mother.

“It’ll be all right,” Sehun convinced her. “Mommy and daddy are here with you.”

And Namjoo knew it wasn’t a very great idea, but she still wanted to show she was a part of the family. She wanted to do it for Soo Ae, to give her daughter confidence.

As they approached the kitchen, Eun Bi and his mother’s cheery voices sprung into the air. Quieting when they appeared at the doorway. His mother immediately glared, her eyes flat and narrowed. Eun Bi stared her up and down with criticizing eyes. His father said nothing at all.

Namjoo pushed herself to walk forward. Many times before she’d stood in the faces of people who called her names, had felt small, and wanted to hide in a corner, but she’d walked past them with her head held high. If she did it then, she could do it again. For Soo Ae and herself.

Pulling out a chair, she sat her daughter down first. Noticing that there weren’t plates for the two of them she turned to get some from the dish rack, but Sehun beat her to it. Walking back with two plates he set them down in front of them and sat down beside her.

“Lets eat, Soo Ae,” he urged her.

Soo Ae didn’t budge, so Namjoo grabbed her utensils and handed them to her. “Eat up.” Namjoo patted her back and began to place food onto her plate.

“How shameless,” Sehun’s mother hissed underneath her breath, her eyes watching every move as if counting every piece of food she was taking from them. “Enough! Is she a beggar! Why are you feeding her my food?!”

“Mom!” Sehun raised his voice again. “Leave them alone! The food belongs to everyone!”

“Look at you,” she remarked, “after bringing in that you can even raise your voice at the mother who birthed you. Are you not embarrassed for ruining the harmony in this house? I’ve told you from the very beginning that she’s a sore in the eye! Even dragging her daughter along to trick your father! Don’t you feel sorry at all?!”

Namjoo gripped her shaking hand into a fist. She would have jumped up to retaliate, but she was afraid that if she did she’d lose Sehun and Soo Ae would lose him as well. He was the reason for all her happiness and she didn’t want to put Sehun in a difficult situation by opening to fight. So even as much as she dreaded it, she sat there quietly.

“You know I’m right,” his mother continued. “That’s why she isn’t saying anything. Isn’t that right? You’re shameless and an embarrassment to the Oh family. God, how I regret inviting all those guests to your wedding! Oh, the anger in me! Looking at you two is going to give me a heart attack! Goodness! How can a mother and daughter have no pride at all! I can’t stand this!”

Getting up from her seat, she purposely hit the table rattling the plates, threatening to spill. Namjoo focused very sternly on the food, aware that Soo Ae had touched nothing on her plate. She wanted to hug her daughter, pull her onto her lap, and hide her from the world’s merciless angers and pains, but she couldn’t do anything at all and she hated herself.

“Mother, please sit back down. We should still finish what we have,” Eun Bi turned to the older woman.

“Forget it. I’ve long lost my appetite.” Turning, she stomped out of the room.

As soon as she disappeared, Eun Bi turned to glare specifically at her and Soo Ae. “Look at you. You really do have no pride. Still using Sehun as your reason to stay even when we all know that kid of yours isn’t his. What are you going to do if you send one of them to the hospital? Can you be responsible for it?”

“Eun Bi!” Sehun deeply growled.

She frowned upset, her eyes on him then back to her. “Is that kid even yours?!”

This time, Sehun shot up from his seat, towering over the other girl threateningly. “Are you going to shut up? Do I need to show you the way out?”

Eun Bi ran her eyes over him with distaste before leaving the table to follow his mother into her bedroom. With a heavy sigh, he dropped back down into his seat. The kitchen suddenly became overwhelmed by sad and frustrated tension. His father still remained in his seat. He set down his utensils after a few bites and without saying anything, left.

It was quick, but Namjoo suddenly felt the impact of what it felt like to confront the face of hatred and to know that she was on the verge of losing everything she’d just accepted at the speed of light. Very slowly, it was leaving her back in the dark.

She should have stayed in Muju where all had been peaceful and quiet, but what use was it having those thoughts now? They couldn’t save her. No one could save her now.

Namjoo turned when Sehun wrapped his hand over hers and squeezed it as he had often done when his mother lashed out at her. They didn’t say anything. Soo Ae finally ate a few bites before giving up. Instead of forcing her to finish her plate, Namjoo let her go back to sleep and for the first time, didn’t force her to bathe.

After clearing the table with Sehun very silently, they dropped into bed, emotionally drained. As Namjoo lay there listening to Sehun’s breathing, she could feel it in her very heart that nothing was going to turn out well for them anymore. She had always been afraid of possessing a good life only to lose it.

That was why she had been very careful with Soo Ae. She’d wanted to raise her daughter well, had intended for her to grow up in a healthy environment as a happy girl. Instead, now her daughter was forced to carry a burden she could have avoided. Namjoo would leave without regret if it weren’t for the fact she felt bound to Sehun, and Soo Ae still wanted him. So as long as his father didn’t say the word for her to leave, she’d stay as Sehun’s wife, even if it was hard on her.

Unable to look at Sehun and the light glowing behind him, she turned away and squeezed her eyes shut.   

***Sniff Sniff ;;