I woke up in the middle of the night and stared at the empty ceiling as usual. I don't really know why i still do that, but it keeps my head distracted. I feel the sweat running down my spine, tears falling down.

"Love lasts forever" they say. I smirk, and then I get up from the bed.

It's quite cold, but I don't care. I open my room's door and I start to analize everything, like every single time. Mom's asleep, pills all spread around her. She's only happy when the real world disappears as she closes her eyes. I go near her. "She's been drinking again". There are a few pills spread on the table too. So messy. I grab two and i put them in my mouth. Then I see that photo, the same damn photo. "Even all this crap can't numb your heart"

I look at her and say outloud.

"Sorry for being a mistake"

I put some hair strands out of her face and smile.

I go downstairs. Everything is dark. I only hear my steps as i go to the kitchen. There's a little light in there, that lets me see at least where i step. I open the fridge and grab some cold water. I drink some, and then i throw some on my face. I get scared, but the feeling brings me back from my nightmare. I hear the clock struck from afar. "It's 5 a.m".

I close the fridge and take a dizzy look at the calendar. "School starts tomorrow" I say.

I guess time flies. It feels as the club's lights were flashing in front of my eyes just yesterday. I get out of the kitchen and go to the sofa.

"You're gonna love this school" they said. "I hope this is the last one you attend". I think I change schools almost every year. The last one lasted less than 5 months. I'm not old enough to get the hell out of school, but still, it's the least place i care for in this life.

I didn't even realize that the sun had already risen. "My brain is so useless".

I get up from the sofa and go upstairs again. I take a quick shower. I get out of there and I look for my phone. I never find it when i need it. I grab all the stuff i have on my desk and throw it on the floor. And there it is.

-11 missing calls-

I don't bother to look at them. I know where they come from.

I get out of my room and I close my mom's bedroom door. Maybe she'll be awaken for dinner. I go downstairs again, directly to the door. I look at the little frame on the wall. There's people smiling. They seem to be happy.

"I'm sorry" i say. I get out of my house. The bright sun blinds me. I cover my eyes as fast as I can, and I start to feel sick. "Damn pills" I curse outloud. I close the gate's door and stop as I see someone standing there.

-Who the hell are you?

I look up and I see a guy, around my age. He's quite taller than me, and his stare is so strong that it makes me look away. I don't know who he is.

-Krystal Jung.

His voice saying my name makes me feel insecure, and his eyes dont move away from me. I look straight at his face, annoyed by the fact that I don't know who he is, or how does he know my name either.

His piercing stare get softer and he smirks. Then, he just leaves.

I don't know how to react. I watch him as he walks away until his figure disappears. That took me off guard. His stare turned me into a weak animal in front of its predator. I thought that nobody would make me feel like this again.

"Fear".

****

I go back to my house as i can't see the sun anymore. "Mom must be awake by now". For a moment I hesitate to go inside, but I can't escape from hell anymore. Tomorrow school starts.

I get in and for the moment I don't see anyone. I throw the keys on the floor and take off my shoes. Everything's as messy as always. Why bother anyways.

I go directly to the fridge, and as I get nearer I see a little post-it on it.

"He needs me. Don't wait for me. Mom"

Typical. I open the fridge and eat whatever there's left in there. I go to the sofa and turn on the TV. That makes me feel human.

I stay there for a while but I decide to go to my room. Mom left her room as it was. I grab a few pills and I take them. No alcohol today.

I close my room's door and I check my laptop. I accidently click on facebook. There's quite a few people i recognise saying crap like "I'm gonna miss this fun summer with my friends", "Tomorrow we'll meet at school!". It freaks me out, and I close my laptop harshly.

I lie on my bed, and stare at the empty ceiling again. "I hope I don't dream tonight"

The pill's effects make me feel sleepy and I fastly fall asleep.