Chapter 12​

The night is chilly and peaceful. The clouds are dark and stormy and nothing could ever ruin such a nice atmosphere like this. The sound of the pouring rain can be heard even through the walls of the small apartment. It is the perfect weather to sleep in. Most people would have curled on their bed with their arms around a pillow or their partner during this time. It would have been the perfect and most logical way to spend the night.

Not for Do Kyungsoo, though.

The psychology major takes a sip of his own instant coffee that he made for himself as his eyes focus on the screen of his laptop. He stares blankly, not knowing what else to type. The amount of knowledge that he has about Jongin/Kai's traumatic event is limited, to be completely honest. All he knows is that Jongin was forced to watch each time his uncle Jongdae. Frankly, Kyungsoo really feels appalled at what happened to Jongin. Yes, he did expect that his patient was abused or before but to watch someone being ? No, that thought has never even crossed his mind. Not even once.

It must have been horrible. Of course, it was horrible. Kyungsoo cannot imagine if he were in Jongin's shoes instead. It must have hurt to see someone that you love dearly getting tormented like that and you could do nothing to help them. It must have been so terrible to watch the person who means the world to you break down. God, Kyungsoo cannot imagine the amount of pain that Jongin had gone through. He cannot imagine the amount of hurt Jongdae hides deep inside of him.

He feels angry at Jongin's uncle for doing that to the two siblings. He wishes that he could personally kill that poor excuse of a human being. How could someone do that to their own flesh and blood? He feels really revolted. He wishes that this world is not full of ed up people like that. But then, he knows that this is the real world. Messed up people exist everywhere. Everyone is ed up in their own way. The only difference is that some people choose to hide it while others flaunt it nonchalantly. That is why prisons need to be established. That is why mental institutions are constructed.

Kyungsoo knows that if he becomes a probation officer, he would meet with a lot of ed up criminals. He would have to talk to those who abuse their children, those who kill people and all. He does not know if he is ready or not to face that kind of challenge.

Maybe I should purposely fail this project, he thinks wryly to himself. That way, he cannot graduate. He has to repeat this year. Thinking about his parents, however, almost makes him change his mind. Almost. What changes his mind is how much efforts it takes in order to make his patient open up to him. He has done everything he could until Kai told him, at last. And even then, he knows that there are some details that Kai is hiding from him.

The psychology major does not think he has anything else to write in his report so he decides to save the document before closing his laptop. He looks at the clock on the wall of his room briefly and realises that it is already one in the morning. It is not that he has been working for such a long time. It is more of like he has gotten distracted because his thoughts are filled with Jongin, Jongdae and that mortifying incident.

Deciding not to think about it any longer, Kyungsoo reaches for his mug of coffee and downs it all before heading to the kitchen. He washes the mug and just as he is about to wash up before going to bed, his phone rings.

The university student pauses for a few moments. It is really rare for him to get phone calls, to be completely honest. In fact, the only person who has ever called him is Zitao and his friend knows not to bother him at this timing. Frowning slightly, Kyungsoo walks over to the bedside table where his phone is and looks at the caller ID. His eyebrows raise immediately as soon as he sees that it is Jongdae.

Feeling slightly worried, he answers the call. However, before he is able to say anything, Jongdae cuts him to it. "Kyungsoo, oh God, Kyungsoo. I need your help. Please, just help me," the singer babbles in a distressed tone. Judging by his voice, Kyungsoo can tell that he is crying. "God, I'm so scared, Kyungsoo. What if he does something stupid? Kyungsoo, I can't live without him. I do everything for him. He's the reason I'm still alive and holding on. Oh God, Kyungsoo please."

"What's going on?" the psychology major asks as calmly as possible even though his heart is pounding so loudly that he could have sworn the whole world is able to hear it.

"It's Jongin," Jongdae answers in a shrill tone. "He-" Then, he breaks down into sobs.

Shuffling sounds can be heard on the other line and Kyungsoo assumes that someone is taking the phone away from the singer. "I'll talk to him instead, Jongdae. Baekhyun, can you try to calm him down?" a deep voice says. More shuffling sounds can be heard and then, finally, no more sobs can be heard, indicating that the phone is far away from the older Kim.

"Hey, I'm sorry to bother you late at night like this, Kyungsoo," the deep voice greets politely. "I'm Chanyeol, Jongdae's manager. We met once, do you remember?" Kyungsoo nods to himself before remembering that Chanyeol cannot see him right now. He decides not to say anything, though, knowing that it is a rhetorical question. "Jongin is missing, Kyungsoo. He was gone since three hours ago. We couldn't locate him anywhere. Sehun said that he had no idea where he could have been and we're all still searching for him right now."

"Jongin is missing?" Kyungsoo asks, his voice an octave higher than usual. His mind begins to race. He wonders who is in control right now, though. If it is Kai, then, he is most likely safe. But if it is Jongin and he gets flashes of what happened back then... The psychology student shudders as he thinks about it before deciding to shake it off. "I don't know where he is. But I will try to look for him."

"Thank you," Chanyeol says quietly. "And I'm sorry for bothering you at this time."

"It's okay," he replies briefly before hanging up. Then, he rushes to his wardrobe and puts on the first thing that he sees in there.

***​

​Much to his relief, the road during this time in Seoul is quite empty, unlike during other times. Kyungsoo does not think he is in the mood to be stuck in a traffic jam. He blames his impatience for that but deep down, he knows it is because he does not want to waste any time to look for Jongin. He tries to search his mind for any place that Jongin has ever mentioned to him. Unfortunately, he does not think that Jongin has ever said anything about it. Well, he most likely does not go outside frequently.

The psychology major has called the younger guy's phone more than his two hands can count but still there is no answer. If Jongin were a normal person, nobody would have panicked like this. However, everyone who knows Jongin is aware of his illness. The fact that he tried to commit suicide about one and a half week ago just causes people to be more anxious. What if this time they are too late to stop him? What if Kai could not stop him?

Kyungsoo is pissed off, to be really honest. He does not like the fact that he is worried sick about his patient. What if that idiotic guy tries to commit suicide? God, he wonders if this is the first time Jongin has ever pulled a stunt like this. It is not funny, really. He is on the verge of freaking out right at this moment.

Feeling really angry, Kyungsoo decides to call Jongin one last time for good measure before giving up completely. The dialling tone can be heard and he puts his phone on loudspeaker, seeing that he is driving right now. Just as he thinks that Jongin will not pick up, the dialling tone ends and a muffled voice says, "Hello?"

The university student feels like a huge amount of burden has been lifted up from his shoulders as soon as he hears that voice. At least, he knows that Jongin is still alive. "Where the hell are you?" Kyungsoo screeches as an immediate reaction.

He can hear some background music playing on the other line and his ears hurt slightly. He hears something crash and then an apology before it quickly fades away. "Are you in a nightclub?" Kyungsoo accuses, narrowing his eyes slightly as he tries to focus on the road ahead of him. There is no way he is planning to die just because he is on the phone with his patient.

"Phoenix Nightclub," his patient elaborates in an almost lazy tone. "Come fast. You need to let loose a little bit, my dear precious Kyungsoo. At least, before I die."

The psychology major snorts loudly at that but before he is able to retort, the guy has already hung up on him. Kyungsoo lets out a breath that he does not realise he has been holding all this time. There is no way that that was Jongin earlier. Jongin is way too conservative for that. That is definitely Kai. A drunk Kai. He does not know whether a drunk or a sober Kai is better. He stops at the side of the road briefly to text Jongdae and a few others where Kai is.

Who the hell does Kai think he is, making people worried sick about him? Kyungsoo grits his teeth in anger. Honestly, he really hates how affected he was by his patient's disappearance. He dislikes how much he panicked earlier. Even now, he feels anxious about his patient's safety. Kai would not do anything stupid, right? Taking in a deep breath before letting it out slowly, the psychology major steps on his gas pedal before speeding away towards where his patient is.

Now that he thinks about it, he wonders why he is willing to lose sleep over finding his rude patient who has been nothing more than a jerk to him ever since their first meeting.

He must have cared more about Jongin/Kai than he thought he did.

Do Kyungsoo has never believed in God or other religious stuff. However, that night, he prays. For the first time ever, he prays to the forces up above that his patient will be okay and not do anything stupid.

Jongin/Kai may be alive right at this moment. Kyungsoo sure as hell hopes that he will still be alive when he gets there.