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Very advisable to play this during reading, BGM : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCuJyEwTozU

It was like a feeling of an extreme loneliness was engulfing his mundane self. Some of the chairs were flipped over together with the small coffee table. The magazines that featured him in it was scattered on the floor as it ripped apart together with his heart. The frame on the wall with a picture of his extravagant pose was crooked as it was hanging loosely waiting for its time to fall. The vases were broken and even the pillow was thrown all over the living room.

“I’m sorry okay.”

“Can you just leave me alone?”

“I don’t know you will get really affected by it. I thought we are cool or something.”

“It’s not because of you, don’t flatter yourself darling.” He smirked, ignoring her presence and poured him a cup of water. “Do you want some?”

 “I hope you’ll be happy with your miserable way of living..” Min Ah stormed out in anger but stopped once she noticed how Yonghwa stood there unmoving.

He stood there, his heart was cold and his face was expressionless as he’s been waiting for this moment to come.

“I know I can’t never be the muse to your songs but I hope.. I just hope that you can truly like me. I guess I’m wrong. I’m sorry for being such a clingy girlfriend and I’m sorry for cheating on you just to see how you will react to it.”

She slammed the door and he gulped down the cup of plain water, chuckling when he done doing so. He stood there, his arm on the counter anchoring his heavy body as he looked at his bloody hand.

‘It must be because I tried to pick those broken glasses back.’ He thought to himself.

He knew by that time that he must be weird. Because, he doesn’t feel a thing. It’s like he was numb. Numb of feelings. And that’s exactly the feeling he’s been having when he went out with Min Ah. He walked with his shoulder hung low and sat on the couch as he roamed his eyes around the shattered glasses lying at the corner of the room, the roses in it was dead. Dead like his eyes, dead like his hopes… He chuckled disbelievingly, his eyes showed nothing but an evident of his resentment. He gathered his hands together and clasped it tight as he puts his chin on it.

Where’s the warmness that he once felt, he wondered.

Darkness was all there left on the room with a slightly beaming light coming in from the small gap between the curtains.

People will call him stupid before that he was still together with Min Ah despite her ridiculous demand and her unpredictable temper but he never once asked her for a break up. It’s silly, because he knew she was using him for popularity. But if he asked her for a break up due to that, he will just be a hypocrite then because he was using her too. He told her he only accepted her dating request and he will make her famous for two reasons, one because she seemed like she truly wanted the fame and money that came with it. The second one would be, he doesn’t want to be alone. He doesn’t want to face any question regarding why is he still single… he doesn’t want to suffer alone.

The conclusion was, he didn’t love her. If he were a normal man that loves his woman he must be running out to catch up with her now but she cheated on him… if not then he must be hurt. But the only thing he was feeling right now was an extreme sadness and resentment. Not towards her, it’s towards himself… Even before, his pessimist side even started to put the blame on someone else before it got directed towards himself. It managed to come to a stage where he grew an intense disliking over his fans though their cheers managed to bring him joy once upon a time. If he called it joy before, he called it the right to gloat now because the cheers fanned his arrogance. Arrogance was the sign of his ignorance and vanity that came with it. That’s why his happiness was short lived. He felt the most alive when the cheers are there but when it’s gone. He felt empty.

The happiness that he hung himself into can be gone like a wind in a split second.

His fans, they dictated him. At first, he managed to control it but as the fandom grew larger it felt like he was moving along with their momentum. He insisted that they wanted to be a true artist.. a true band, but they ended up giving endless of fan service just to get their name out there. With the sole reason of wanting to get the band scene in the K music industry moves.. and it did. They still wrote music, they still composed it… they still played live… but there was something that was lost. Himself. He was lost along the current.

They paired him up with any single girl that they find suited for his standard. Suited with his perfect self. ‘Perfect?’ He scoffed to himself. He’s far from perfect. The thing that he despised the most was that when the person they paired him up with showed just a teensy weensy flaw, they will start to freak out without even knowing the reason. Without even knowing that person, then they will bring them down. Terribly… Horribly… Harshly…

Goddess? Goddesses? God? Silly.. Who are them to be called that? When they are just going to trample on them?

The thing he hated the most was his self. Why the heck did he go along with them? Why the heck that he became what they wanted for him to be.

He dated whomever they wanted him to date. He believed what they said.. He blindly did.

Silently he grieved. Not for anyone… but for himself. For, losing himself. But the tears won’t fall. It’s like it’s already dried along with his heart.

‘Ding.. dong..’ Yonghwa stayed unmoving and when it repeated again he decided to just shoo the person away.

His steps were uneven as it almost clashes with every single thing inside the living room. It seemed like ages to even reach the door. He turned the door knob, hoping not to see Min Ah again. Hoping, that she will just go away from his life. She’s getting more and more recognized now, not till his level but more than enough compared to dozens of other hopefuls wanting to make it.

But it’s not Min Ah.

It’s her.. He felt like a tear was about to drop.. but he didn’t care if it’s front of her.. Because it’s Seo Joohyun that was in front of him.

She surveyed the inside of his house with her eyes and it wasn’t a pleasant sight. It’s an unlikely place where you could call the person living in it as ‘happy’.

“Are you okay oppa?” A soft melodious voice was doing wonders to him as she asked the question. Her eyes were twinkling with worriedness and it breaks him inside. It breaks him inside to see her looking so concernedly at him this way.. Without hesitating, he pulled her in for a hug with his muscular hand like a man that he was causing the latter to be startled.

“O-oppa?” She stammered as her eyes widened with the intimate contact they were making. She knew that he was hugging her in the place where anyone could probably see them but she couldn’t care less. It seemed like he needed someone by his side, desperately.

He only ended up tightening his arms around her as he snuggled in to search for her warmness on the crook of her neck. A warm feeling was rolling on his cold cheeks. “Stay.. Stay Joohyun. Please.” She sealed her lips tightly, holding in her questions knowing he needed silence. She knew him at least that much to know when to let him be.

He lets go of his sobs, the sobs that he thought won’t get out of his system was naturally brought by Seo Joohyun. She always did this to him. There just something about her. When he was in a vacuum of darkness, she was like this small beam of light guiding him back to the right path.

“Why, what happened to you and Min Ah now?”

“She cheated on me and then dumped me but I couldn’t care less. It’s not about her.”

She has dozens of question now but she kept it in, she kept it in knowing that he needed that but she can hear dripping sounds. She sniffed, hoping that it wasn’t what her thought was telling her.

But it’s true… It’s blood.

“What is this?” Seohyun held his hand that was left hanging at his side.

“I don’t know, I think I get hurt when I tried to pick up the broken glasses.”

“Oppa! Let’s go in. Please, let me bandage it.”

“Please, I don’t want you to see me like this. Let’s just stayed like this.”

“Do you want to talk?” He nodded softly. She stayed there in his arms… in his trembling arms, her eyes never leaving the wound on his hand.

“I hate what I’m right now, Hyun~” Seohyun bites her lips, she could felt her heart breaking at the sudden familiarity he was using. “I don’t know what I am anymore. I feel like I’m losing myself. It’s been going for a while now.”

“From what I’m hearing, it looks like you’ve been holding this feeling in.”

“Because I thought it will go away.”

“It won’t.”

“How would you know?”

“Oppa. It’s because I know that feeling all that well. Who do you think I am now? It’s a fake persona that I supposedly created with the name Seohyun.” Yonghwa slightly leave a distance between him and Seohyun in order to gaze concernedly at her eyes as he held her shoulder.

“H-how?”

“It’s the you now oppa, accept it. You choose this path because you love doing music. We might live in the world where pretenses are our second nature but can’t you think it as something that will shape you into a better person? If somebody acted low then don’t reply them with the same thing because you will be just like them. You seek your own happiness, not for them but for you. This might be pretenses but you are still you oppa… deep inside yourself. I know you’re still that happy choding that showed me the world, why couldn’t you see him too?” Seohyun smiled at him, a smile that radiates with warmness. It was like the sunshine to his dark world, it was like the fire to his snow. She leaned on and his cheek softly, hoping for his worries to fade away… coaxing him to open. Her eyes seemingly asking him to melt in her gaze, to melt in her presence.

“Now, can we bandage your wound already oppa?”

There was always something about Seohyun that he knew will affect him in a bigger way than anybody could. She always knew what the right words to say to him… she will always manage to pull out his vulnerable self, to bare his thoughts for her to hear… Why is it?

Deep inside he knew. And for the longest time, he knew that…

He loves her.

Author's Note

Comments, upvotes are welcome. I'm not that sure about subscribing because this is a one shot and i honestly prefered to end this here because compared to the original draft i added some things here and there to make it longer than the short one i was saying before.