I walked along the shore, seemingly full of life, with a smile as bright as the sun above me. I could have blinded people by the joy I exuded, the happiness that seemed to emanate from my whole being as I pranced, skipped and danced along the beach to a tune only I could hear. I could have been mistaken as someone insane. But I could care less, really. Friends laughed from a distance at my antics. But none of them saw through the facade and pretense.

Inside, it felt like my skin was burning, not because of the scorching sun. The pain was searing and tearing my fiber, jaws felt like it was about to crack from the faux smile. My guts felt like it was about to be squeezed, constricted mercilessly as memories about us in the summer of the past came flooding in. Pretending to be okay hurt more than showing it.

It was no use hiding. I had hidden in a cave for a long time and only came out thinking that the weight was lifted off my shoulders. But I was holding on, in as much air to my lungs to continue living despite the obvious scars. 

The relentless waves encouraged my act as they pound against the sand. I knew then that I should hold on to my dear life.

"You'll be alright soon. You don't need to force it. She was your first love, unrequited at that, we understand if you're still in pain," Hyomin, one of my trusted friends, suddenly approached me with a pat on the shoulder the moment I stopped to watch the upcoming sunset.

I was in doubt, I wouldn’t believe yet until I feel it. I'm barely the girl they used to know; now I know at least Hyomin noticed. I was like the sand beneath my feet, trying to hold despite the waves crashing down on me. And it’s suffocating.

"How would you know?" I whispered to myself but she heard it anyway. I shot her an apologizing gaze at the hint of sarcasm in my voice.

Instead she let out a throaty chuckle as she draped her arm on my shoulder. "Everything's unpredictable. I never knew I'd find Sunny in the past when I lost all hope in living. I know, someone out there will find you instead. Just hang on. Trust me. Maybe you'll find yourself a hot and blond oompa loompa too."

I snorted at her joke. Boy was I going to use what she said against her. "I'm telling Sunny you called her that."

"She'll forgive me in a second. She loves me and I love my hot midget," Hyomin cheekily retorted.

"You're the worst girlfriend Sunny could ever have," I blandly stated.

She meekly laughed, "I'm offended. But seriously, I know you get what I mean and obviously you're avoiding the topic."

"I admit, I was a coward," I slowly dropped to the sand and sat there staring at the horizon.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw Hyomin take the spot beside me as she lazily spread her legs forward. I then notice her shaking her head in disagreement. "Maybe you were but at the same time you weren’t. Eunjung, we...and I guess she already knew you are not the type to talk about feelings, much less express it. You 'do', you don’t 'say'. You showed her your love and gave your all. Yet she chose otherwise. Let not forget the friendship; years of friendship gone in an instant when she could have tried reaching out to you. Talk to you at least. But there was nothing, no calls, texts or anything for you. The failure of such wonderful friendship wasn’t just your fault. It’s been a long time. It’s been a little over a year now."

"People do come and go, huh?" I cocked my head to the side, looking Hyomin in the eyes with a slight smile on my face. Hyomin, despite her being a dork and sometimes acting foolish, had a side of her wherein she could be mature. I trusted her.  She had been the first person I leaned my head on for support, the first to wipe my tears and she didn't mind.

I'm someone who rarely cries, one who acts strong to support the other but it was the first that I had been so weak. Weakness had never been an option; I was brought up that way. I guess it’s why I disliked expressing that much. I used to be sturdy, like a pillar that held the house.  Never did I expect to crack and crumble and before I knew it everything dropped and left me a wreck. My friends did try to help but I chose to pick the pieces up by myself because I thought only I knew the blueprints to what I used to be. 

Hyomin's proven me wrong once again.

"They do but we're still here. And I'm here, you can count on me while it lasts," Hyomin playfully remarked as I chuckled at the response. However, she paused in silence, her face turning serious once again. "I just know that you'll find the right person you can count on soon. Someone who you know won't just come and go; someone who'll stay and knock your head if you act stupid again."

"You could've left the last comment," I stated bluntly, earning laughter from my good pal. "But seriously, thank you."

And I believed her.

"I'm just gonna warn you one last time though. Don't fall for a friend, a friend of a friend or someone related to a friend. Nothing good ever comes out of it. And I say this based on mine and your experience. If you do..." Hyomin paused in thought.

"You'll leave me too?" I chuckled.

"I could kill you myself or that." Hyomin shrugged. "I just can't keep losing friends like this nor am I gonna see a friend lose herself."

Hyomin then left me to my thoughts, prancing and crazily flailing her arms about as we both heard the holler of her short lover from a distance for early dinner but I had once again lost all my appetite. 

Of course, I knew exactly what she was talking about. She lost some of her friends because of love. It must have been hard, knowing how lonely an only child can be at times with parents busy and friends are the only people she can rely on. I know because I'm an only child myself.

I kept my eyes on the couple disappearing; thanking heavens they'd given me my friends.

Sunny had helped me in figuring out that I loved one of my best friends...or loved my ex-best friend. She has been really fun to talk to, sometimes serious when you want her to be, someone who complements Hyomin and truly loves her. 

We used to complement each other well, her being like a princess and I the knight in shining armor who saves her from countless insects that come flying her way or scary looking men who eyed her as if she had nothing on. We used to joke until sunrise, talk about nothing and absolutely anything at all about the world. I was there to accompany her in her time of need, one who sheltered her from the rain, literally, one who gave her everything she wanted. But what happened to us? Qri left.

I could only sigh as the sweet couple disappeared through the hotel doors and wished what Hyomin said could be true soon. But was I ready to love again?

A sudden familiar ringtone caught my attention, taking my eyes off the sea that has long been surrounded by darkness. I didn’t even notice it is nighttime and I couldn't care less, honestly. I chose to ignore the fact I had been standing there for maybe more than an hour or so. 

Fishing out the phone from my pocket, I answered with a hum and waited for the speaker on the other line.

"Where are you? We already ate. We'll be heading to the club we