Ianthe

Issues? What?

I squint at his letter, and, with cold fear, realize that there’s only a pathetic 0.1% that the sheet of paper with black ink staining it in neat rows between Deer’s fingers is not my crazy draft of an attempt at confession letters, like the ones Natalia gave Lu Han.

Lord, no. It was not freaking meant to be found out so early! Maybe someday, soon, but not now, when we’re ready to go to bed!

Uh, uh… For the first time, I’m stuttering, unsure of how, or what to say to him regarding the dang letter. Just admit whatever I wrote in there straightaway? What would he say? What would he do? What is going on inside his mind now?! My sub-conscious screams at me.

Uh, nothing much, brain, he’s just beaming goofily-idiotically- at me like he was struck dumb by a hammer to his fragile Mortal head.

I, I try again, approaching him, but Lu Han closes the distance between us with a few, huge strides and bear-hugs me, his lips by my ear. I feel my eyes widen themselves to huge sizes, like coins?

Lu Han breathes by my ear, his warm breath tickling me deliciously. Shh, you don’t have to talk it through with me. The feeling is mutual.

...

Are there words deep enough to describe the excitement, joy, everything good swirling inside me now? If so, I do not know of such vocabulary.

But not so long after, my delightful fire is snuffed out by the wave of desperation. I push myself out of Deer’s warm embrace.

Lu Han, you know that you and I are from different Worlds, different leagues? We can never be together- I start, but am broken off by Lu Han’s tackle.

He says roughly, Shh, don’t say anymore; don’t remind me of our differences. We have much more in common than that one piece of pathetic lack of Immortality in me. Just let me be selfish and have you all to myself, even if for just a second.

If that is how one’s heart breaks and hurts, I never want to experience it again. His words, so touching, engulf me. In my whole living, tears well in my eyes as I return his ferocious hugging. Oh, Deer…

We remain like this, hugging in the middle of the living room by the sofa for quite a while, before a ping from Lu Han’s phone breaks the comfortable silence of relishing in the other’s emotions, warmth and joy. Lu Han’s head rises from my shoulder before dropping back again, deeper into my neck this time, inhaling.

Merry Christmas, Ianthe. The best present I’ve received for Christmas so far.

I feel his smile.

Merry Christmas, Deer. I am glad you like the present.

I grin and squeeze him slightly.

Love it. He corrects me.

Happiness blooms. No wonder everyone loved being in love, even in my world. Couples never separate there.

Silence again.

I thought you needed to send you boss something earlier?

Crap! That got Lu Han’s attention, and he pulled away, but did not release me completely. He scowls cutely at the other letter, which I assume he managed to find after all with my bonus letter, on the work desk and turns longing brown eyes on me.

I laugh. Or giggle. Lu Han smiles.

Let’s go Namsan tomorrow for Christmas.

What?

He winks charmingly. You’ll see, tomorrow.

~

I saw tomorrow. Namsan, apparently, has this ‘Namsan Tower’ famously popular. Foreign tourists travel in groups around as tour guides fluent in Korean read off their minds.

Let’s take the cable car up, Lu Han says tightly.

I hear his worry. I place a hand on his arm to ensure him I’ll be perfectly okay with normal transportation.

No, you need your fun. I’ll manage like I did last time.

His thoughtfulness for me is heartening, and I lift the corners of my mouth.

 

The cable car ride was awesome. You get to ride in this glass box kind of thing with seats inside while it travels into the sky and dangles there on these never-ending cords overhead. I had my nose pressed up the glass walls as I gape over the green scenery below. Occasionally, the box-oh, I don’t know why they call it a car, it doesn’t look like one to me-would shake and rock dangerously, and Lu Han would grab my hand in a steel-grip as he squatted on the floor, back to the walls. To make it more comfortable for both him and me, I squat on the floor beside him and lean in towards him so that our shoulders brush against each other, me still facing the world. Lu Han doesn’t puke or anything, but he does seem to pale a little as we accelerate higher up into the sky.

You’re doing awesome, Deer. Perhaps if I keep dragging you around to high, high places, you’ll overcome your phobia. I half-praise, half-tease. Lu Han keeps his hold on my hand, and smiles up at me weakly in response.

Finally, the cable box stops and we stand, groaning at the ache in our leg muscles. Lu Han stretches soundly, shirt sliding up to reveal his taut abdominal muscles. I notice some girls outside passing by stopping to gape and giggle, some blushing, and my hand shoots out reflexively to tug the edge of his shirt down, eyes narrowing as I take his hand on my own accord for the first time. Lu Han raises his brows puzzlingly, then finally sees the gawking girls, and grins knowingly down at me. My scowl deepens. You!

Jealous? He whispers by my ear, then curses. Oh, no. Here come the dudes after you.

My disapproving look morphs into a smug, satisfied smirk. At least he knows Jealousy, too.

Lu Han tugs my hand behind him so that my arm is around his slim, fit waist, and he circles his lean one around mine. Winking, he leads us out like a perfect couple, laughing secretly at the glares welcomed.

 

Try this. It’s awesome. Lu Han hands the stall holder a note and pushes the cracker-sausage-on-stick into my hand. It’s huge, and my eyes widen at it. How do you eat this?

As if reading my mind, Deer chuckles. Get rid of the surrounding crisps first, then devour the hotdog.

Like he said, it’s awesome stuff, street foods.

Our next destination is the Namsan Tower itself. Basically, you take the elevator up and get off at the observatory. Lu Han says he’s been here only once in his lifetime so far till today, and he informs me what I can see from the observatory. Put in short words, more of Seoul, Korea. Some mountains fade into the light sky blue background, green and more green of trees and forests, black and more grey of roads and buildings. Lu Han releases me to take in the view, then pulls me to his side, back facing the picturesque scenery.

Smile your best, Lu Han instructs and holds his phone up in front of us. I see the two of us on the screen. Lu Han leans into me, we smile, and the blissful moment together is stored in his phone. He then shows me some photos he’s taken of me while I’m unaware, and I yelp at the…should I quote humans, ‘un-glam’ pictures of me mesmerized.

He runs before I can say anything else, and I stamp my foot in frustration as I yell at him to delete it.

Over my dead body, says he as he pulls a cheeky face at me and flees. I chase after him.

At long last, he slows to let me catch him. I pant as I point at his chest, and realize we’re out of the observatory and on some rooftop with rather high fences and trees. The unique thing is, the fences and trees aren’t plain. They’re decorated with colorful lights and hung down with huge masses of…are those key locks?

I wanted to bring you here. Lu Han stands by my side silently, beaming a wide, innocent boy smile.

I blink up questioningly at him. People all over come here-and I heard Paris has it, too-to do this. Padlock their words, wishes, anything, to the fences and trees.

It seems so much of sentimental value, this place. People bustle around, taking pictures, enjoying the festive Christmassy mood in the air. Lu Han and relish in the mood for a while, then he gives me a hexagon-shaped padlock in white with half a pink heart on it. He himself takes up a white marker to write on a similar black one. Not sure what to write, or to wish exactly, I peek at his.

With written words, I cast my wish…

I stop him there. Instead of explaining why, my answer is penned down on my own couple lock.

The we should remain, tied and unbroken, for Eternity. I.

Lu Han seems to understand my intentions, and grins lovingly at me. His marker starts moving again. Under his line, he added a new letter. U.

I HEART U.

Even after our couple locks have been snapped shut together for Forever at the peak of one of the cone-shaped trees, I continue to stare at the intertwined metal padlocks, something indescribable chewing at my heart.

Eternity is a long, long time...

What to do about the keys? Lu Han holds his up. The end of the key is clasped between a white hexagon, my lock. And my key, his. Shared memories, mutual affections. I hold mine up next to his. They seem so matching together-they belong.

We can throw it into the key deposition bin over there. Then, the lock can never be opened.

No, don’t. Necklaces. We’ll find some chain or something.

Okay.

Promise to never let it go?

Blood in me, an oath be sworn. I promised, and close my hand over it in an iron fist. I will not think of when we are forced to part, I won’t. There will be a chance to meet again…There will-must be.

Lu Han glances up at the locks again. We’re really couples now, huh?

His voice holds a hint of wistful. I can guess what he is thinking about.

Don’t. Right now, I’ll treasure and cherish every second of my time with you, Deer. My Deer. I murmur.

Lu Han’s eyes snap to mine.

Our eyes don’t break contact as desire flits through his eyes, and he captures my lips with his. Hard.

I don’t hesitate, either. We press deep into the intimacy of the kiss, tasting, memorizing every streak of emotion that surges through us, the warm, tingly softness of lips against lips.

Love, love, love…

The dam holding back the sea of emotions and mutual love for the other since such a long time ago was all. Now that it’s broken, it is so easy to be swept away, deep into the beckoning ecstasy Love promises…

Vaguely, around us, people cheer, and I feel the soft, cool touch of a snowflake brushing across my cheek.