+ w e i r d

t h i n g s

h a p p e n

That evening, Moonyeon came home to her cozy little studio apartment to see her best friend, Kyungsoo, sprawled out on her comfortably sagging couch, covered by a faux sheepskin throw blanket.  All the lights were off and he was illuminated only by the TV, which was displaying an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  The scent of coffee faintly aded the air.

It wasn’t unusual for Kyungsoo to be in her apartment while she was out.  They lived on different floors of the same building and both knew where the other kept a spare key.  In fact, sometimes she came home to find that he had cooked her dinner or put on a pot of coffee if he knew she had a long night ahead.  And in turn, she sometimes did his laundry or brought him homemade sticky buns.  Their friendship was mutually beneficial like that, both always picking up some task or performing a favor for the other in order to make life a little less demanding.

“Hey, Soo,” she said, picking up his blanket-clad feet to sit down.  She let his legs fall back onto her lap.

“Hey,” he responded, not looking away from the TV screen.  “There’s some coffee left if you want it.”

“I do,” she groaned, “but I’m too lazy to get up and get it.”

“Well, I’m not getting it for you.  I already do everything for you.”

“Yeah, drink my coffee and watch my TV.”  

He ignored her, as expected, and they both lapsed back into silence.  He was pretty absorbed in watching Buffy; she was content just to sit there.  She liked watching Buffy slay and sass, but her brain was too hyperactive to focus on that right then.  She thought about her long day and getting the job.  She thought about the boys.  They seemed nice, albeit crazy, and she hoped being around them every day wouldn’t make her want to tether them to a tree outside in front of the university.  It just wasn’t a good marketing tactic (among other things), and it seemed like a lot of trouble.  At any rate, she really needed the money, and it was at a convenient location.  Her mother had always said location was everything…

She woke up in a daze when the episode wrapped up and the credits began to roll.  Apparently she’d dozed off.  Kyungsoo muted the TV and yawned like a bear, groaning uproariously while stretching before lazily turning his attention to Moonyeon.  “So how’d it go?”

“It went well, I guess.  I got the job,” she said sleepily.

He shook his head and pulled a throw pillow close to his chest.  “You know I don’t approve of this.”

Moonyeon groaned and jiggled his legs with her own.  “Please don’t start.  I need this job, Soo.  Ha, need.  Kneed.”  Then she groaned again.  “See?  Too tired to talk about this with you right now.”

He thumped her ear.  “I know you’re not going to listen to me—”

“—Then why say it?”

“—but I feel really uncomfortable about you working there every day.  With a bunch of guys.”

“You’re a guy and you know where I keep my spare key and you’re in my apartment half the time messing with my things.  You’re way more involved in my life than any of them will ever be.”

Kyungsoo sighed and drug a hand over his dark stubble.  For such a diminutive guy, it was weird how fast his facial hair grew.  “Moon, come on.  It’s totally different.”  He spoke with a sort of tired straightforwardness, measuring each word carefully while still being forthright.  “I’m not even in the same ballpark as those guys.  Listen to me, now.  They practically entertain girls for a living; they get paid for it.  They know how to be charming and all that weird crap.”  He ran a hand through his bangs shining blue in the TV light.  “Me, I’m just me.  You know exactly who I am.  There’s no pretense.  And every little thing you just listed goes for you, too.  It’s not like I have anything over you or whatever.  Okay?  Besides, I literally have no romantic or ual interest in you at all.  That’d be like or something.  No.”  He shook his head disapprovingly.

Moonyeon ruminated on all that he said for a second, then puffed air.  “Look, you know it’s not my first choice.  Not by a long shot.  But it’s convenient, the hours are good, it’s flexible, it pays fairly well, and it’s a foreshadowing of what I’m going to be doing in the future.  And if I get uncomfortable with it or one of them messes with me, I’ll leave.  Simple as that.  But seriously, the leader is this guy named Kris and I think he runs a pretty tight ship.  I have a feeling he doesn’t let anything get too out of hand.  That’s good.  I need that.”  She blinked.  “And maybe you think it’s naïve of me, but I’m going to be cautiously optimistic about this.”  She patted his foot.  “Let’s just play it by ear.  Okay?”

Kyungsoo stewed in silence for a little bit, then sighed.  “All right.  You’re grown.  You can make your own decisions.  But God, can we not talk about this anymore?  It feels like we’re having a slumber party and talking about our feelings.  I’m not painting your nails."

Moonyeon rolled her eyes and frogged his shoulder hard.  “You brought it up, stupid.”

He caught her hand and thumped the back of it in retaliation.  They spent the rest of the evening snuggled under blankets on the couch, sipping hot coffee and eating stovetop popcorn while indulging in a Buffy marathon.  Kyungsoo kept making comments about how hot Sarah Michelle Gellar is.  Moonyeon purposefully moaned when David Boreanaz came on the screen, even if she didn’t find him attractive during that era.

/ / / / /

The next day, Kris texted her asking if she’d mind dropping by the host club when she got out of her one o’clock lecture.  Sure, she replied.  But how do you know I have a 1:00 lecture?

< As your employer, I am allowed to know the details of your timetable.

> Why do I feel like one of the boys hacked into the system to get all my private information?  Not cool, man.  Not cool.

< I only allowed Sehun to get your schedule.  Don’t worry, I stood over his shoulder and watched the entire time.

> You know, Kris, you’re really not giving me reassuring vibes here.

< I will make sure that the boys treat our newest member of the team with respect overflowing out da hizzy.

> Thank you, chief, for the swag check.

< Anytime.  Holla at me if you need anything.

Kris was so weird.  It made her snort.

After her Statistical Inference class (during which she predicted her professor’s every world-weary sigh almost to the second), Moonyeon shoved her notebook into her backpack and exited the classroom.  The journey from Henry Lau Hall (which contained the finance department) to Lee Soo Man Hall (which held the host club) was long, arduous, and literally uphill.  A steep hill, in fact.  Like, it could totally rival the San Franciscan landscape in Moonyeon’s opinion.  This fact was awesome for exercise but not conducive to immediate happiness, and sometimes she really wished she had the power of teleportation.  It would make effort so much less necessary.

It took her approximately eighteen minutes, ninety-two heartbeats per minute, and one collapsed lung to get to the other side of campus, where Lee Soo Man Hall, paragon of one-syllable appellations, was located.  By the time she reached the clubroom, she was very nearly ready to asphyxiate Kris Wu under a pile of his own hair product.  He really needed straightening up, and death would no doubt work wonders for that slouching posture of his.  

“Mount it, mount it.  No, stop!  Oh my God, I should have hired a professional.  Against the wall!  No, move.  Let me do it.  Easy, easy.  WILL YOU STOP BEING IMPATIENT?  I’m trying not to hurt you!”

It was too late.  Moonyeon had already opened the door and passed the threshold.  She could see everything there was to see and Kyungsoo was going to have a fit when he found out and she was going to get kicked out of her apartment because she couldn’t pay the rent and Kyungsoo would have to take her in and it would be all sorts of awkward trying to explain the situation to her conservative, overprotective parents, and she wouldn’t be able to afford the cost of living—

There was a TV.  Minseok and an unfamiliar guy each had a hold on it, an exasperated-looking Kris looking onwards with arms akimbo.  Sehun was sitting on the couch browsing his phone and looking utterly bored; Baekhyun and Yixing were using each other as pillows; Jongdae was munching on peanut butter toast; Tao was nursing a black eye; and Joonmyeon was taking in the scene with mild (very mild) concern.  There were a couple of other people she didn’t recognize or even fully register existed.

“Uh…”  No one ever said Park Moonyeon was articulate.

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