It was the first time in Krystal’s 20 years of life being in state of panic and helpless at the same time like this. It was just like a slow motion picture at how the pale girl being pulled to the ground. And when she finally reached her, the girl’s eyes were already half closed, her breath heavy, and damp of sweat were forming on her forehead. She scrunched down, squeezing herself between Victoria and Amber. She got their attention, but she choose to ignored it and instead grabbing into Sulli’s cold hands. She failed to hide her anxiousness in her tone.

“Sull, are you okay?”

No respond.

“Hey Sull, come on, wake up!” She tried once again, but still, no respond.

Maybe she was too tired to respond? or maybe she cannot heard her with the chaos that was happening in the room? Or maybe she already lost conscious? The thought of the last option make her eyes widen in horror.

“Someone called the ambulance!”

Krystal snapped her head up when she heard one of her staffs said that. Cold sweat start to forming on her back and she gulped down hard. 

Too risky..

Krystal looked at her right hand in surprised when Sulli squeeze her hand back. She looked at her as her eyes slowly opened. Sulli shoot her a pleading look before she bite her lips, as if opening her eyes were the most difficult thing in the world. Sulli must have heard what the staff said. From the gaze she knew that Sulli didn’t want to go to the hospital.

“What should I do Sull…?” She asked softly, hopping that no one but Sulli could hear her.

But it seems like Sulli was too tired. As if she has no energy left that her only option is to let the darkness to swallow her wholly. And so she did. Her eyes closed as her energy left her.

Krystal eyes turned wide when the hand that was holding onto her right hand turned limp. She tapped her hand gently on Sulli face.

"Sull? Wake up." she bite her lips, there's noway Sulli would woke up at this kind of state.
 

“We need to get her to the hospital.” Victoria said and amber nodded her head,

“Where’s the ambulance? I thought someone was calling it!”

“We are trying right –“

“Stop!”

All the frustration that was building up inside her make her shouting it, and everyone turned to looked at her, taken aback. Krystal expect that reaction, and before someone could retort or ask a thing, she beat them by putting her left hand to the air.

“Let me take her to the hospital.” She said calmly, trying to hide the loud thumping of her heart with her usual façade.

She saw as Luna, who had been watching worriedly from aside was about to say something. She didn’t know what kind of protest words she would throw at her, or maybe she would told her that she was crazy? Maybe. Krystal didn’t manage to found out as she cut her unnie first.

“Let me take her to the hospital.” She said it loud and clear and looked around to her member and staffs with her hard look, trying to assure them.

“Oppa, can you give me my car key? I will drive her there myself.” She said, didn't wait for the other to respond as she tried to adjust Sulli in her arms.

Her manager hesitantly nodded his head. She asked him to help her to bring Sulli to the car. Krystal once again gave an assuring nod to her member. Amber was about to object, but Victoria insisted by putting her hand to the girl shoulder, stopping her from doing so. Krystal gave Victoria a small smile, which the older girl returned by mouthing ‘go.’. The oldest member definitely knew that something was up, but she didn’t ask, yet. And Krystal feels relieved at that.

Krystal, with the help of the others staffs, slowly lifted Sulli up, before they brought them to the black BMW that was parked not far from the building.







It was dark.

She flinched.

It was so cold.

Yet, she cannot move nor talk.

Slowly she tried to open her eyes, but only to clutched it closed again when she feel a wash of pain flooding over her head. She hissed in pain. It’s hurt.

But she was a stubborn girl, and everyone know it. She once again tried to open her eyes, ignoring the protest from her head. She blinked her eyes multiple times, trying to adjust her blurry eyesight. The room was really dimmed that it almost made her scared for a second. But noticing the scent of the room, she relaxed a bit.

“Soojung…?” She called out weakly, voice hoarse as if she was asleep for the whole day. Well she didn’t know if it’s true or not, but she was sure she had been passed out for quite a while.

“Soojung? A-are you here?” She tried once again. There was not much of light that could help her to spot the blonde haired girl.

A gushed of wind was blowing to her. From where she wasn't sure, either the aircon or someone actually leave the window open, but what she noticed was how her torso has nothing but her sport bra and blanket to cover it. Her eyes widen, her gasp was stuck on .

She feels shiver down her spine as a certain dark memory suddenly popped up. She backed away till her back hit the wall behind her and she clutch the blanket tighter and bring it closer to her, eyes wandering around the room relentlessly. It was obvious to one eye that she was scared. As if the fact that there's noway that person would be here, vanished from her brain.

"Soojung-ah?" She called once again, louder this time with a shaky tone at the end. She pray in her mind that the slightly younger girl would quickly show up.

She hears some shuffling noise from across the room, and as if god answer her prayer, she could see a familiar blonde haired woman. It was Krystal, her stage’s outfit already replaced with the more casual one and face was bare with no make up. Seeing the blonde girl, she could feel the corner of her lips lifted up slowly.


But she was taken aback when she saw how dark Krystal's brown eyes were. Her eyes were almost cold, almost.


"Sulli.. Are you hiding something?"

Sulli froze on her position, her shoulder tense at the unexpected question.

Did she saw it?

"W-What..?" She tried to act dumb. She tried to act oblivious. But it was Krystal that she was facing now. Every white lies she uttered would definitely got uncovered in the eyes of Jung Soojung.
 

And for Krystal, just like always, she managed to uncover another Sulli's lies, which she wish she didn't. She stare at Sulli frustratedly, and to Sulli, she knew she just made the younger girl upset.

Krystal walked to the still weak girl, and within every steps, Sulli would cower in fear. The room start to get chilly and tensed with every second passed. And the sound that was occupying the room when they stuck in a silence moment were the tickling clock across the room.

"You think you can fool me Sulli?"

Sulli never heard Krystal speak that harshly to her. Krystal was scoffing, and it freak Sulli out. She watched as Krystal hand grabbed on the blanket that was covering her bare torso, and she have to let out a gasp as the chilly air make contact with her body.

"Then explain it to me how you got those bruises!" Krystal said almost shouting.


Krystal face twitch when she saw the still blue bruise on Sulli's side, imagining how hurt it must be. The bruise isn't new, but isn't healed either. Even with just looking at it make her anger start to building up inside her body. At the one who did this, at Sulli, and at herself.

Sulli pulled the blanket close to her again, fully aware of how Krystal was staring at her bruise. She looked away and bite her lips.


"You won't care.." Sulli whispered as if she was on her own world, on her own set of mind, totally forgot how Krystal was there.

Krystal breath hitched at that. She suddenly feel offended yet hurting at the same time. Whats make her think of that? Why? How? Did she just underestimating her? So many question floating around her mind.

"Give me.." Krystal took a deep breath before continuing her word, "Give me one reason why you think i will not care about it."

"You don't care even on the first place," Sulli said painfully. She mustered up all her might to stare at Krystal who was at lost at the moment. "You.. You don't even care who, who did this to me."

"You just do it out of pity.." 

Sulli think back about the day she came to Krystal's apartment. It was raining, yet it didn't stop her from running to where she thought Krystal that night. She was messed up, just like how messed up her room at that time. She feels like her whole world just got darken, that make the sense of needing the blonde haired girl become strong..

She was grateful when Krystal wordlessly helped her, but as time passed by, Krystal never asked her anything. Not even one question which she strangely hoping at. It disappointed her in some way. She wanted to tell her, but without knowing if Krystal was interest or not, she cannot just bring herself to, it was hard. That’s why she want Krystal to start first.

She was selfish after all.


"You.." Krystal gritted her teeth, her hands turned into fists. Krystal had to hold back herself to punched the wall out of frustration. "Do you know why i don't ing ask you about who," Krystal forced herself to continuing herself, "who did this to you?"

"It's because i thought you would broke down when i ask, i thought you would hate me when i ask, because i thought... I thought it would hurt me more when i know who it was.."

Krystal bite her lips, looking away from the teary gaze that Sulli gave to her. She bite her lips harder when she could feel it quaver. Hearing how she said those words, she made a conclusion that she sound so selfish. Too selfish that Krystal almost punched her own self.

But i'm hurting enough.. Let me be selfish, just for once

Silent.


"You want me to start first huh?" Krystal asked, as if she was a different person.

"Then who did this to you? Who beat you up?"

Sulli looked at Krystal terrified. She was a different person. Her Soojung won't speak to her like that. She won't look at her like that. The sparks on her eyes were already gone. She was not Krystal.


"Tell me Sull! Tell me!!" She didn't realized that she raised her voice. She just have enough.
 

"C-Choiza.."

The word that Sulli uttered made Krystal blood boiled up to the tip of her head. Because of that, she didn't see how scared Sulli look, how fragile she look, most importantly, she failed to notice the tears that was building up on the girl's eyes.

"Of course. That bastard." she mutter, heart breaking into million pieces.


"I-i'm so sorry Soojung.. I'm sorry. Everyday i regret my decision, i really regret it... At one point i made my decision to came back, but-- but he stopped me. He said that.. He said that he would hurt the other member including you if i leave him.." Sulli said, and now tears already stream down her face. She was a foolish she admit. She know it was a wrong decision to leave Krystal just like that, even when they already have what every couple would dreamt of. She acknowledge the fact that she was selfish. And now everything just got back to her. She lost everything.
 

“He told me to keep away from you. I was confused at first but later I found out that he knew about our relationship, about us. And he used that against me..” Krystal stop breathing for a moment.

"That day when i came to you house i was running away from him.." Sulli sniffed trying to steady her voice, but she just chocked on her sobs, remembering how it happened. "I came to his house, telling him about it. He was drunk and he started to hit me.. He blamed me about it. I swear at that time i didn't want it Soojung.. I didn't want to.. But he forced me Soojung, he did!" Sulli cried out.

Krystal was silent for a moment, she just looked at how Sulli buried her face to her hands, sobbing her heart out. Nothing came to her mind. She was totally blank.

She leaned one of her knee to the bed, followed by the other one. She grabbed into Sulli hands and pinned her down to the wall on her back, making the blanket fell down. But Krystal’s eyes were locked firmly to non other than the person in front of her.

Sulli just look to her side, her eyes clutched shut as she can't face Krystal right now, or the feeling that she had bottle up would wash over her all at once. She would feel guilty, she wouldn’t stop blaming herself/

Looking at how Sulli avoid her gaze, Krystal's eyes become teary. She tried to prevented it from falling, but it won't listen to her. She cried. For the first time since this thing happened she let Sulli see her cry. 

"Why did you leave me on the first place?" Krystal asked, ignoring how her voice cracked, and how she look so weak right now. She didn't care.

"Why Sull.. Why?" She asked once again and the words landed painfully at Sulli's ears.

"I'm sorry Soojung.. I'm sorry..." She sobbed more. She regret it. She just want to go back and stop her from doing that mistake. She just want to.

Krystal put her head on Sulli's shoulder, her hands that was pinning Sulli down was slowly fall down back, yet her grip on Sulli never did loosen. Somehow she felt at her worst. She want to blame Sulli for everything, but she couldn’t. Her heart refused to. After all her Sulli need her all this time. She didn't know she got blackmailed by her so-called-boyfriend. She didn't know that Sulli's faced something harder than her, and yet she just choose to ignored Sulli back when Sulli ignore her.

It was started with one selfish decision, but what made it worse was another selfish acts that came afterward. 

"I'm sorry..." Krystal chocked up. "I'm sorry i couldn't be there to protect you..”

“I'm so sorry.."
 

****

Sorry guysss!! Here's the update! I made this in a rushed so forgive me if there's any mistakes or weird content. If you have any question, you can just ask ^^

So.. yeah, that lol. See you at the next chapter! Comments are really appreciated, thanks!

#5YearsWithFx