Chateau kisses; Champagne flutes - fefedove
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Story Details
Author: fefedove
Reviewed By: KaihleeLo
Requested Date: 5/07/17
Review Completion: 1/14/18
Story Link: Link (nine chapters)
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Bonus: (Your questions and focuses for us here)
Character Development?: Under "Character Development/Showcasing"
Review (Spoilers Alert)
Title: 10/10
Logical: 3/3
Do I really have to say it..? The title fits PERFECTLY and it makes PERFECT sense. I wouldn't give it any other title.
Eye-catching: 3/3
Honestly, I had no idea what Chateau is nor what champagne flutes were because I'm not big on drinking and that sort of fun stuff. But yes! The title is indeed very eye-catching (even if I wasn't familiar with those terms).
Original: 4/4
Definitely, original-that's all I have for you.
Description/Foreword: 10/10
Summary: 5/5
The first summary is very vague and simple, but it speaks volume since everyone has experienced some kind of love. Whether it be from a stranger, family, friend, partner, pet, etc.
The alternative summary is straightforward. Other than Sehun being rich, Kai being y and Luhan being pretty is a no-brainer if one is familiar with the idols. But I can't say it was a good or bad summary since it was an alter....
Appearance: 5/5
Overall the appearance is easy to the eyes. No ridiculous layout, no too-light-nearly-transparent font colors, etc.
Character Development/Showcasing: 10/10
Relation/Cast: 5/5
Gee where do I start..? Technically the story features the majority of EXO 0T12.
I'm connecting each of them for the purpose of 'relation' to get a better idea of their relation and development.
We've got Luhan, Jongin, Sehun, Jongdae, Minseok, Baekhyun, Yixing, Zitao, and Yifan. Luhan and Jongin are high school friends and siblings in a way as Jongin's family took Luhan in. Jongin is Sehun's childhood friend and also the same character Sehun loves. Luhan loves, doesn't loves, lusts, who knows Sehun. Baekhyun was mentioned as someone who worked under Sehun but never really made an appearance. (Did he or did he not betray Sehun as well?) Minseok and Jongdae are Sehun's "siblings" as Minseok's family took Jongdae and Sehun in. Sorry not took, they bought the boys. Yixing and Yifan are brothers but Yixing works for Sehun. Zitao and Yifan were a thing before Sehun killed Yifan.
Development: 5/5
I didn't want to cover all of the characters' development, but this story left me no choice, therefore, some points will be shorter than others.
Here it goes. Should I start with the protagonist or antagonist...?
(See what your story did to me?)
Luhan: Our hero who makes us question his role in the end. (Actually, this point goes for every character.) Luhan, painted as a lotus, an innocent pretty boy who never made us doubt his love for Sehun. Yet, before killing Sehun he said he doesn't love him, but I believe he still did. Sadly he was driven by money and power which caused him his life and made him look like the bad one. But may I say you did a very good job foreshadowing his changes/motives? It wasn't obvious at first, but once he killed Sehun, I was reminded of the pasts they shared. Sehun has killed his own men in cold blood in front of Luhan, therefore Luhan isn't new to the game of murder. Then the scene where Luhan felt the most powerful was when he was on Sehun's lap, and the latter's men entered the room ready at his command. At first, I was a bit surprised that he shot Sehun. Like how and why..? But thinking back, Sehun was the root of Luhan's greed.
Sehun: Sehun was the antagonist (or author-claimed antagonist). The character who's weakness is most anticipated by readers. From a boy who was kidnapped, enjoyed burning ants, to an independent man who has built his own kingdom; Sehun is a different kind of villain. Once in a while, we pity him. Not because he was kidnapped. Sold. In a one-sided love. Only know the life he has. Nor because he lost his love to an enemy. But because to a certain extent, he was faithful, loyal, and sincere (some of the characteristics you'd expect from our hero, Luhan). Despite his reputation and lifestyle, he trusted those around him without question. He became a successful ringleader through his own effort, yet, he gives some of that credit to Jongin.
Jongin: He was...should I say the free character? He lived his life the way he wanted up until he was robbed of it. Jongin was definitely the kind that would choose friendship over love, just because to him friendship is a form of love. So if he has friends, he has love. That was the kind of mindset I got from him.
Minseok & Jongdae: If they had known different lives, they would have had promising future.
Yixing: Basically the 'spy' or 'undercover' in the story since Sehun is the antagonist. Though Yixing succeeded in obtaining Sehun's fortune, it's hard to blame him. If anything he's the most pitiful character; risking his life to work under his brother's killer. I wonder how he managed so well. If I can only use one word to describe Yixing, I'd say he's patient.
Zitao: The psychopath (only when avenging his lover's death). Zitao was a great distraction you've added in for the readers. He was also an interesting character to read. He was different; direct and smart. Would it be weird if I admit I liked Sehun and Zitao's rivalry? When they met up, they each gave off a powerful leader aura. They were calm despite the tension. It was like they were careful, yet, appear as intimidating as they could..?
Overall, all major and minor characters went through absolute, definite development. Though Jongin's development felt like it happened way earlier on since he's an already established character (if that makes any sense).
Behind the Author's Mind: 40/40
Logical: 10/10
Full points. Rational, logical, with a sense of reality.
Original: 10/10
I've read a few where abuse, -shaming, and mafia are involved but this one was definitely different and one of its own.
Tone: 5/5
The tone of the story was steady. It was intense from start to finish.
Narration: 5/5
As you mentioned, the narrating is slightly odd as you, the author, is telling us the story as if we were discussing the matter in person. I've got to say it made the story even more intense if it wasn't already. Since you were spoon-feeding us the story, you left us little to no room to imagine the other possibilities. Whatever you had written/typed down, I absorbed it like a sponge and took it as fact. I had no space to question it, or you. At first, when I read your request form, I was worried how this would turn out. But honestly, I liked it a lot. It's a new and refreshing writing style/story-telling.
Storyline: 10/10
Since the narration is so different, as I said, we weren't free to think outside the box. I had no idea what was coming and honestly, I didn't expect anything HOLY base off on what I've seen from similar fics. But yours had me frowning and gasping like the world was going to end. The twists where Luhan was responsible for spilling Jongin's location to Tao, him shooting Sehun, and Yixing being Yifan's brother are just some examples of what surprised me.
Besides the storytelling, you also meant to share meaningful messages as well. I mean, if anyone reads your story, they'll probably see it since like I've said, you're spoon-feeding it to us.
Proper Use of the English Language: 25/25
Proper Grammar/Punctuation: 10/10
Full points.
Terminology: 5/5
Your wide usage of vocabularies made the story so much better, I'll tell you that. I've learned a word or two, thank you.
Language Barrier: 10/10
Perfect. No language barriers.
General Enjoyment/Last Comment: 5/5
I believe it's been a while since I've given out a perfect score, but your story is worth all 100. Honestly, your story deserves more recognition. If people who don't like or abuse, if they can get past those I think they'll love everything else. It's not just another story out there for sure.
I really enjoyed your story! I went through a handful of emotions while I was reading it over the span of two days. But as I'm writing up this review, it's 4 AM in the morning and my migraine is killing me so I ended up keeping everything short. (Trust me when I say this is short... I'm a pro at rambling.)
Lastly, I apologize for the long wait. I'm actually happy that I dragged the review out because only then did I get to review the full story and not just the four chapters you've requested for.
Total Points: 100/100
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