Kyuhyun and Sungmin are lovers. They are happy as they were together for three years. Though, within three years, Sungmin still doubted Kyuhyun’s feelings for him. He has Kyuhyun, yes, but Sungmin was still not sure if Kyuhyun truly loves him. Sure enough, Kyuhyun cared for him. They always talk about their future, want more than 15 children, a hot night session every. Kyuhyun will work for them, and Sungmin will take care of their child. They will grow up together until their hair turns gray and white and wait for the creature to take them.

It’s so sweet to hear about their plan, but Sungmin is still doubting Kyuhyun. Is it because of Kyuhyun’s past? Is Kyuhyun’s reason still not enough that’s why he still doubts his feelings?

…

“We broke up,” Kyuhyun said one evening with Sungmin sitting beside him, drinking coffee and staring up at the dark sky, watching the stars. He saw the tears were forming on each side of Kyuhyun’s eyes.

Sungmin just listened. He didn’t dare to ask why they broke up. He just found himself that he was comforting Kyuhyun. Though, they were not childhood friends nor best friends. They were just classmate–friends, but he felt his heart was shattering into a million pieces when he felt Kyuhyun’s shoulders shaking cause of crying. Because Sungmin loves Kyuhyun and he will do anything to make Kyuhyun happy again. 

Sungmin and Ryeowook were the real friends, they were together since high school. That time, Ryeowook met Kyuhyun because Kyuhyun is one of their classmates and that time, Sungmin landed his eyes on Kyuhyun even if Kyuhyun is rude to him but when it comes to Ryeowook, he is gentle.

Sungmin and Kyuhyun were like cats and dogs inside the classroom, but it stopped when Ryeowook told Sungmin that he was dating Kyuhyun. And that was Sungmin found out Kyuhyun likes Ryeowook too. Of course, Sungmin got hurt when he heard that. He thought Kyuhyun had feelings for him, but no, everything was just a pure friendship.

When Kyuhyun and Ryeowook are officially together, Ryeowook does not have time to spend with Sungmin because he is always with Kyuhyun. But that was not the end of Sungmin's suffering. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook's relationship was kept secret except for Sungmin because he is the only one aware of their relationship.

When Ryeowook and Kyuhyun have a date, Ryeowook always brings Sungmin on their date. Reasoning Ryeowook is scared if his parents find out he is dating someone, so he’s always begging Sungmin to come with them, so Ryeowook’s parents won’t get suspicious of him for always hanging out. Sungmin, as a good friend, even if it hurts him a lot, he’d always help his best friend.

After one year, Sungmin’s suffering ended because Kyuhyun was with him now but crying because of his breakup with Ryeowook. 

…

That’s the reason why Sungmin gets a chance to be close with Kyuhyun.

Sungmin helped Kyuhyun to forget Ryeowook. Though, Ryeowook has just gone like thin air. Kyuhyun wanted to court Ryeowook, wanted to beg for his love, wanted to beg for forgiveness as if he had done something wrong to Ryeowook that made him upset to decide to break up with him. But those things didn’t happen. Ryeowook was gone, even in Sungmin’s life, as if he didn’t exist.

However, Sungmin was there. He helped Kyuhyun forget his past lover, but of course, Sungmin tried to impress Kyuhyun. He did everything to make him fall in love with him. But Sungmin being selfless, still tried to help Kyuhyun to find his best friend. The searching did not take long because they found out that the Kim family had moved into another house, somewhere they won't know where and where they couldn't reach until Kyuhyun gave up and stopped bugging Sungmin to find his best friend.

But something happened between them. Sungmin didn’t know what their relationship was. Sure enough, Sungmin knows that Kyuhyun is still in love with Ryeowook. But what is the entanglement they are doing? Sungmin didn’t know how it happened but he found out that he and Kyuhyun are eating out together at not a fancy restaurant. They watched a movie in the cinema together. They go to church together. They go to the supermarket to buy groceries. They were laughing as they are walking side by side while looking around at the mall or at the amusement park. Meaning to say, as if they are dating.

But one thing is Sungmin sure and that Kyuhyun is still in love with Ryeowook.

...

“I’m leaving, Sungmin,” Kyuhyun said one afternoon.

They were at the ice cream shop. Sungmin was so happy eating his strawberry ice cream, but it didn’t last long when he heard Kyuhyun’s announcement. He immediately looked at the latter.

“W-where are you going?” Sungmin asked, trying not to show how his voice trembled. He cleared his throat.

“I’m going to New York after three weeks. I’m going to finish my study there.” Kyuhyun said nonchalantly.

Sungmin just stared at his ice cream. He doesn’t have the energy to continue to eat his ice cream. He also blinks his eyes rapidly to stop the tears trying to escape from his eyes. He wanted to stop Kyuhyun from leaving.

He wants to confess so that Kyuhyun knows his true feelings. He wants Kyuhyun to love him back. He also wanted to get mad because he felt like he got betrayed. But, who is he, anyway? He was just a friend to help the other man forget his past lover slash Sungmin’s best friend.

When he felt the tears are not coming out, he looked back at Kyuhyun and smiled brightly at him – even if it was just a force smile –. “It’s not a problem,” Sungmin said, trying to sound cheerful. “I’m staying here to continue my study.” He continued.

Kyuhyun just nod.

…

Three weeks had passed so quickly, but the moment when Kyuhyun said he was leaving, it’s still fresh in Sungmin’s mind, as if it happened yesterday when Kyuhyun said that.

Sungmin wanted to confess to Kyuhyun before Kyuhyun left, but he stopped himself. He didn’t know why but he refrained. He tried to convince himself that he still had the pride to keep. Kyuhyun was still a past lover with his – gone – best friend. He refrains himself from expressing. He still has pride – for himself –. He didn’t go to the airport too, for what? To see him waving and saying goodbye to him? He does not need that.

Because Sungmin already knew that every time they were together, Kyuhyun was not in love with him. Kyuhyun just saw him as a friend. Because Sungmin still knows, Kyuhyun is still in love with Ryeowook.

Maybe Kyuhyun didn’t notice the hurt look from Sungmin, but Sungmin gradually gets hurt every time Kyuhyun talks about Ryeowook when the in fact is; Kyuhyun is with Sungmin.

Ryeowook felt sleepy every time he was inside the church. Ryeowook loves the vanilla ice cream flavor than the strawberry ice cream. Ryeowook loves watching romance movies instead of horror movies because he gets scared easily. Ryeowook loves to ride the Ferris wheel than a Viking. Ryeowook is always there. Not even a single day they were together, Kyuhyun always mentioned Ryeowook's name that Ryeowook is always like this and like that. Kyuhyun never forgets to mention Ryeowook in their conversation when in fact is, he is with Sungmin.

And Sungmin just listened. Even if Sungmin does not want to hear, he would always listen. And maybe those are some of the reasons why Sungmin did not dare to confess to Kyuhyun because Kyuhyun is still in love with Ryeowook.

After one week since Kyuhyun left, Kyuhyun never left a message on his email or phone. Sungmin feels like a pastime person to Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun used him to fulfill his longing for Ryeowook. Sungmin is just nothing to Kyuhyun, and it makes him feel sad.

Who is he anyway to demand Kyuhyun to message him? Who is he anyway to force Kyuhyun to say ‘I miss you.’ to him? He is just nothing to him. Sungmin is like scratch paper. After they use it, they will throw it because it’s now useless