Love is weird—well, for Luhan that is.

He finds it unusual, always wondering how it is possible to fall in love with someone you just met, have been friends since diapers, at first sight and so on. It was—like he said—weird and puzzling and confusing and very, very complicated. The dynamics, how it works, all of it! Even the sound of it is weird.

Love…love… isn’t that the word tennis referees shouts when a player scores?

He wonders how it feels like. Is it similar to the way the books describe it? If you touched the one, would you feel tingles all over your body? Or perhaps you’d feel something flipping in your stomach? He wonders if there are really butterflies residing inside that would only come alive when you’re in front of your soulmate. Sweating beads, lovesick expression and those longing eyes. Do you really experience all of them when you’re in love?

Luhan sighs.

Love is definitely weird.

“I fell in love with your Dad that moment when he accidentally tripped on the ground when he was about to give me flowers after his confession.” His Mom answered his question when he was 13. His Dad was blushing, face red as a beet as he listens to his wife’s story about their teenage romance. It was sweet, yes, but that didn’t quite made any progress with Luhan’s questions about love.

Luhan listens as his mother told him how his father made a big impression on her, so quiet and reserved when on their teenage years. He would never speak unless being talked to and he likes to be alone most of the time which is probably the reason why his Mom, according to her, finds him interesting. So back then, it was really a big surprise when his Dad confessed that he likes her and asked her out on a date.

So love is felt when you find a person interesting, is that it? Wait. That doesn’t make any sense.

It was around high school when he found his circle of friends. And just like the book said, find a friend that you’d have no problem to be true to yourself. So yeah, turns out he was bi, having both attracted to male and females. It wasn’t easy at first considering it was well known by everyone that high school is where people like him experiences bullies and hatred for his tastes, so it was kind of a relief for Luhan to find out that there are also students like him.

Kyungsoo, for example, who is currently dating Jongin, a young dancer at a different school. It was perfectly clear that the elder is completely smitten at the tanned boy, but due to the growing schedule the younger has, they find it hard to spend time together nowadays. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, is what he said to Luhan one time.

So does that mean you love a person by distance?

Then there was Chanyeol, who has a tiny—a big one, actually---crush on this basketball player, Yifan. The guy was a giant, like Chanyeol, and has this tense and beautiful eyes that would probably make you melt if you stare at them. He remembers Chanyeol talking non-stop about Yifan, his face all wide from that happy grin plastered on his face. It was really, really obvious how Chanyeol is infatuated with the blonde male that he finds it frustrating why isn’t he making any action towards it.

Sadly, it was revealed that the object of Chanyeol’s affections is already in a secret relationship with the Student Council President, Kim Joonmyeon. (Luhan accidentally caught them making out at the gym when he went back because he forgot his towel) It was devastating, really. And he finds it hard to comfort the crying Chanyeol. (It only got worse when they decided to watch The Vow at Kyungsoo’s place with a tub of ice cream)

Jongdae, the group’s joker, was automatically the one who was in charge for making Chanyeol laugh, his happy grin going back like he wasn’t heartbroken in the first place. It was really weird when he notices the two always spending so much time together, so it was a big surprise after 2 months that the two announced that they were dating.

“Jongdae makes me feel wanted.” Chanyeol had told him one time, ears tinge red as he bits his lower lip to prevent a smile forming on his face. “He makes me feel special.”

When you feel like you’re wanted, are you in love then?

Luhan furrows his brows in confusion. This is getting more complicated.

“What is with you and love, Luhan?” Minseok, a very close friend of his, asked him when they were walking home. “Why are you so curious about it?”

“Nothing.” He casually shrugged and placed his hands behind his head. “I just find it weird, that’s all.” And Minseok would reply with a slow nod of understanding and changes the topic.

Love, according to Yixing, is probably the only thing that he can’t seem to forget. Though he forgets their anniversary (Tao would threw a huge fit and walks out of the door before Yixing could even process what happened) he would always smile and engulfs the younger male into a tight hug, whispering how gorgeous and pretty he looks, effectively making his angry boyfriend smile. It was love, he said. The feeling he gets when he’s with Tao or just by looking at Tao. It screams love.

Love is cheesy, Luhan concluded. It was so gooey and romantic and full of smiles that just by thinking about it makes him laugh. Love doesn’t seem that bad like he thought it would be.

“Love is a load of bull.” Kyungsoo grumbles one night, head leaning against Luhan’s bedroom wall. “And I thought he loves me.”

Apparently, Jongin, Kyungsoo’s boy—well, ex-boyfriend—broke up with him citing lack of communication as the reason. The elder understands and agreed, although heartbreak was evident on his face. But the real reason of the break up was actually because of Jongin falling in love with a certain blonde male dancer named Oh Sehun. Kyungsoo saw them once 2 days after the break up, all lovey dovey eating ice cream after a long day of rehearsals. So yeah, Kyungsoo can’t help but feel betrayed upon learning the real reason.

Kyungsoo changed after that, transforming into a cold and heartless guy. He would smile only for Luhan and the group, but would treat other people like they were nothing. And probably because of that attitude, he attracted the caramel-haired male’s attention.

“Kyungsoo-sshi.” The guy, Byun Baekhyun, slyly winks at the younger. “Let me be the one to melt that cold heart of yours.” And as a response, Kyungsoo simply stares at him, blank face and eyes emotionless.

It was the group’s source of entertainment, the way Baekhyun would woo the younger into feeling the same way, only to be dismissed or ignored. But Baekhyun was a persistent guy. Eventually, Kyungsoo began to snap and responded to Baekhyun’s efforts with a loud shout of annoyance or a hard punch on the shoulder. Until finally, Kyungsoo gave in and kissed Baekhyun under the shade of a tree at Valentine’s Day. Luhan swears it was the first time he saw Kyungsoo smile so wide at that day, only to melt back into his stoic one when he noticed that they were watching him from the bushes, silently watching the romantic scene earlier.

“He’s crazy.” Kyungsoo hissed despite blushing terribly after Baekhyun not so loudly announced that Kyungsoo and him were dating. “So, so crazy.” He face palms in an attempt to cover the forming smile on his face. “God, I feel like I’m going crazy too.”

So apparently when you’re with the one, you feel crazy. Crazy in love. Well, that was what he noticed after watching Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s behavior. And just like the earlier ones, it didn’t help Luhan in answering his question.

He sighs heavily, sitting up and looks at the sky. Love is such a confusing word.

“What are you up to?” Minseok asked, hands on knees as he stares down at Luhan. “Or should I say, what are thinking about?” Luhan groans in response, letting his back hit the green grass once again. It was break time at soccer practice, sweaty and out of breath. Minseok was just sweaty, though. Damn that baozi for having such good stamina.

He admits that he finds Minseok attractive, sometimes finding himself staring at the elder male for no particular reason. He wasn’t gonna admit that, though. That would be embarrassing.

“Oh, the usual.” Luhan shrugs and placed his hands behind his head.

Minseok chuckles as he sits down next to him. “Any leads?”

“As usual.” Luhan sighs. “None.”

“You’re weird, Lu.” Minseok raised an eyebrow at him in disbelief, yet he was smiling. “Like super weird, I have no idea how your mind usually works. I mean, isn’t it obvious?”

Luhan sits up and furrows his brows in confusion. “What?”

Minseok sighs and chuckles, lips now tugging into a half-smile. “You don’t think about love, you feel it.” He reaches a finger out and points it on the younger’s chest. “Right here.” He laughs when he saw Luhan’s eyes go wide. “Get it?”

Luhan gulps hard, slowing nodding in understanding.

“Good.” The elder stands up with a grunt, dusting his jersey shorts in the process. “Now come on before Minho strangles us for not practicing. We’ve rest long enough.” And with that, Minseok runs off towards the field leaving Luhan staring at him, eyes still wide and mouth slightly open.

And call him crazy because when Minseok poked his chest, he felt his heart skip a beat, something that he finds unusual. It didn’t happen before, so why now? He did felt good when the elder would hook his arm around his neck sometimes, but it was a gesture that he simply shrugs off as a friendly one. So really, why now?

Love is really weird, but somehow he understands it a little. And maybe it’s not love, yet. It’s more of a like, but he thinks he’s getting there. Maybe he’ll stick around to Minseok more. Who knows? Maybe he’s the answer he’s looking for all this time.

a/n: unbeta'd