We have our regular schedule today. Practice practice practice. I don't mind it though. It just depends on who I'm practicing with. For dancing, I either am with Suho or Kai. If I am feeling ty about life I dance with Suho because he both . If I want to learn more and be challenged, I dance with Kai. For singing, I'm usually with Luhan because he's helpful and nice. Sometimes I sing with Chanyeol, but only when I'm feeling ty about life. 

"LAY! GET UP!" Suho yells from the main room of our dorm. Even though he isn't the leader of EXO M he acts like everyone's mother and freaks out if we do anything stupid. Imagine what he would do if he found out about Chanyeol and me. 

"Coming," I respond. I stumble out of my bedroom, shared with Baekhyun and Chen, to Suho's voice. 

"About time you got up sleepy head. We were beginning to think you bled out and died," Baekhyun teased. I glared at him and sat on the living room sofa next to Tao, who is asleep.

"Baekhyun," Xiumin says his name sternly and gives him the "you-know-not-to-say-that" look. 

Sometimes I feel like Baekhyun says things just to piss people off or feel bad about their diseases. Not that anyone has a major disease besides me. I don't think any of the other members could die just from a cut. Small cuts are fine. Bigger cuts are worse though because I can't easily stop the bleeding. 

"It's okay Xiumin. Everyone knows Baekhyun is a ," I say. I close my eyes and lay onto my side, resting my head on Tao's thigh. 

"Ahem... Well breakfast is ready," Chanyeol breaks the awkward silence and everyone shuffles to get the best seat at the table. Tao gets up from the couch, leaving me to fall face first into the cushion. 

"No..." I groan and roll off the sofa onto the floor. I have no plans of moving. 

"Get up Lay," Chanyeol says. He walks over to me and drags me by my ankles past the couch. He pulls me up and whispers in my ear. "I made this breakfast specially for you. You always hate everyone the morning after you've been stoned. If you don't get in there I'm not giving you any more weed."

I groan again trudge to the kitchen table. He's right though. It's only natural I want to kill myself, and everyone else, after I was high. I'm sure everyone just thinks it's because we usually had a concert or a show the night before. That's normally true, but I don't hate everyone because of the concert. I hate everyone because I hate myself for not succeeding and then I get high, making me think I hate everyone the next day. It's just routine. 

Completely normal.