February 14, 2013

A lot happened today. Just writing about it...thinking about it makes me want to shred my self to pieces (well not literally).

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Minseok hurried up the old staircase, expecting to find Kris already there. The unused hall that they've claimed for themselves was empty, as usual, and Kris was lying on his stomach on the table, as usual. He found it weird, meeting with Kris alone like this. But after the sudden, unusual text he received from him, he skipped third period physics without hesitation. 

"Ah, you came." Kris sat up, stretching. 
 
Minseok looked him up and down, catching his breath. "You- you said-" 

"Yeah, I got dumped by my new boy toy. Well...not really dumped 'cause all we did was have once-" 

"Kris." 

"Sorry." Kris huffed, pulling Minseok towards the table and sitting him down on the chair, while he continued to position his giant body carelessly on the the table top. "I didn't lie when I said I really needed you to comfort me-" 

"You said you were gonna slit your wrists and jump out of the window if I didn't come," Minseok sighed, "what's so possibly important that I needed to skip physics, for you?" 

"Oh stop complaining, I saved you from that class anyway. So, I didn't lie about the whole dumping thing and I'm sure you'd love to hear about it, but I'll leave that for next time." Kris sat up and cleared his throat. "I just needed to warn you, you'll thank me for this." 

"Why?.... What now?" Minseok asked, already expecting a long, off-topic story.

"Because, Lay want to have with you tonight."

-------

"Are you ing crazy?" 

Lay buried his face deep in his pillow, regretting ever bringing up the topic of to his best friend. He should've known. 

"Why would you even THINK about bringing up your life with your mom anyway? You're- oh my god." Kris paced the room back and forth.

"It was just a suggestion!" Lay threw his pillow at Kris and sat up, "I thought it would be okay, you know, it's better that she knows-" 

"No. It doesn't matter how cool and chill your mom is. You leave those topics to ME." Kris flailed his arms in the air.

"Of course, since you're so experienced." Lay huffed under his breath. 

"Thank you, I take that as a compliment," Kris plopped down on the bed beside Lay. "Anyway, don't bring it up with your mom. Trust me."

Lay sighed and scratched his head, "Then what do I do?" 

"Why are you even asking me in the first place? It's not like you haven't had before-"

"Don't bring her up." Lay said quickly. "Plus, what are you even saying? You know I never had before. This is different." 

"Of course it's different. You're taking it in the this time-" 

"I swear to god Kris-" 

"You love him, don't you?" Kris asked with no hesitation. 

Lay felt his cheeks burn at that instant. He attempted to hide himself, but his best friend pulled his arm with a smirk across his face. LOVE? Of course Lay loved Minseok. He's just... never told him.

"What makes you say that?" 

"You're so gay, I swear." Kris laughed and shielded himself from Lay's punch. "All the 'waiting until the time is right' is making me gag. Bucket list." 

"Bucket list what this time? Falling in love, for real? It's never gonna happen with you because, at least for me, I wait because I take Minseok seriously. All you do is just use people for ." 

"What- I don't just use people for -" 

Lay raised an eyebrow at Kris. 

"Ooh, do you wanna know who I had a fling with at a party recently-?" Kris became enthused at the topic, ready to blab out every detail. 

"No, Kris I don't. If you're not gonna help me, then I'm really just gonna talk to my mom." Lay sat up, but Kris latched on to his arm and pulled him back.

"Trust me. You'll want to know about the fling I had." Kris pulled him back to the bed, "It was my first time with a boy." 

Lay's jaw dropped sarcastically, "You mean...you're officially gay now?" 

Kris looked at his best friend's sarcastic expression in disgust, rolling his eyes before he shoved Lay who was bursting into laughter. "FLING. It was a fling. I was drunk. I wanted to try it out, doesn't make me gay." 

"But you liked it." 

"So?" he rolled his eyes, "It was with Luhan." Kris said proudly.

Lay felt his heart skip a beat when he heard the name. LUHAN. The boy who, until now, wouldn't stop hitting on his Minseok. He had a boyfriend as well, a freshman named Oh Sehun who was obviously head-over-heels for the pretty Chinese boy. But occasionally, Lay would hear from Minseok about Luhan getting too close. That son of a player. 

"Seriously...?" 

"What?!" Kris replied in disbelief, "just because he hits on your boyfriend, doesn't mean I can't associate with him." 

"That's not the point. He has a boyfriend, Kris. An innocent one too. That's such a move." 

"Yeah... see, HE's the . He was the one who got all up on me, and then he DUMPED me like we were dating the next morning. I honestly don't know what that freshman is doing, dating him."

"Kris. Stop getting off topic, please. I really just want to make today special, I mean... our anniversary is almost a month away..." 

"I'm not getting off topic. See, you need to hear about my whole experience because YOU WILL learn from it." Kris reached over and dug into his backpack and threw a few things at Lay before sitting back down on the bed, "first things first, lube."

------

"Hey, Seok!" Luhan threw his arm around Minseok and walked him to the boy's change room. 

"Hi Luhan." Minseok forced a smile and stopped himself from shaking off Luhan's tight grasp after realizing that he wouldn't let go, regardless.

After allowing Luhan to befriend him almost a year ago, his skin ship game was way too strong. If he didn't have his arm around Minseok, he'd be squeezing his thigh, or hooking arms. Lay, of course, wasn't too happy with the outcome of his boyfriend's friendship with the new student, and Minseok's attempt to keep his distance never seemed to work out. But Minseok couldn't deny that being friends with Luhan put him at an advantage on the soccer team (and he helped him in other... things too). 

"Soooo," Luhan said in his sing song voice as he got out of his sweaty jersey, "today's valentines day. You got any plans with that that dimple boyfie of yours?" 

Minseok turned away from Luhan as he took off his own jersey. "I'm not sure. Lay's always the one who makes the plans." 

"Uh-huh," Luhan nodded to himself as he wiped off his sweat with his jersey, "he's the pants in the relationship, huh." 

Minseok quickly jumped out of his cleats into his his regular shoes and then turned to face Luhan. "I- I guess so-"

"OR you're just always too scared to make the first move." Luhan raised his eyebrows at Minseok who was stuffing his things into his locker, avoiding his eyes.

"No-" 

"Don't deny it baozi. I've been friends with you long enough now, and I've seen the way you are with him. It's like... like you're always holding back." 

Minseok continued to shuffle the things in his locker around, rearranging them into neat sections as Luhan spoke. IT WAS TRUE. He's always felt like he couldn't speak his true mind because of insecurity, his cowardliness. He began to rearrange the things in his locker again neatly, feeling angry at himself. 

"Do you have plans with Sehun?" Minseok shifted the topic, trying not to lose his temper at Luhan who was stating the facts. 

There was a short pause before Luhan answered. "Yeah, we're going out for dinner. You know... you and dimples should come along, make it a double date!" 

"I don't know... Lay is always planning things-" 

"Or you just don't wanna ask him because you're scared." Luhan cut off. 

Minseok frowned, "What are you trying to say? I'm not scared to ask my own boyfriend out, it's just that he probably planned something for us already." 

Luhan pursed his lips and looked around, doubting every word Minseok said. Minseok shut his locker close, and walked up to Luhan who was picking on his nails. 

"Fine. Text me the details. I guess we're going on a double date." 

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"Are you sure about this?" Lay asked as he and Minseok looked up at the skyscraper that Luhan addressed them. 

Minseok his lips and cautiously looked over at Lay. "Well, if you don't want to we can just-" 

"No. It's okay. I'm happy that you asked me for this." 

"Sorry... that of all people, we're here with Luhan." 

Lay sighed, pulling Minseok in to kiss his forehead. "As long as he doesn't touch you, I'll be fine." 

-------

From a distance, Lay could spot Luhan and his boyfriend, Sehun, at the far table of the exquisite restaurant of the hotel. They were in the middle of making out, but Luhan immediately broke their kiss as soon as he spotted Lay and Minseok awkwardly walking past the occupied tables filled with older looking adults. Minseok and Lay glanced at each other and broke into laughter as the memory of the night they went out to a classy restaurant sparked their memories, the night they became official. 

"You came baozi!" Luhan leaned in and side hugged Minseok. He looked over at Lay who's arms were crossed, and he reached out and poked his arm. "Hey dimples."  

Luhan let go of Minseok and hurried ahead to his boyfriend who was awkwardly smiling as they approached, his awfully slender body attracting attention from all directions of the restaurant. 

"I hate it when he calls you that," whispered Lay into Minseok's ear before they sat down at the table. 

After Luhan ordered on behalf of all four of them, without Minseok's or Lay's consolation, they all awkwardly sat in silence. Luhan cleared his throat before he leaned over to Sehun and straightened his bow tie, Sehun shyly smiling. 

"I haven't formally introduced you two to my boyfriend. Sehunah, bao-Minseok and his boyfriend, Lay." Luhan put his arm around Sehun who was furiously blushing, and he pinched his cheek. "Guys, my boyfriend. Oh Sehun."

"It's nice to meet you. So, you're new to the school right? Freshman?" Lay spoke up.

Sehun nodded, "I'm a transferee from GyeokBun. Dance scholar." 

"Wow, that's amazing. Only the best of the best get to attend that school." Lay said, impressed. 

"I heard you dance too. You go to some kind of studio? The one that Jongin guy attends...? Maybe we can dance together sometime," Sehun replied quietly. 

"That's right. My baby is the best dancer in the streets of Seoul," Luhan in, receiving a shy shove back from Sehun. "He was only transferred here because he moved houses."

Before Lay could reply, he hesitated at the mention of his ex-best friend's name. Instead, Minseok held Lay's arm."Lay's actually the senior choreographer in their studio." Minseok coughed. 

"Impressive." Luhan replied. 

The silence between the four boys lasted a while before the food came in seconds later, ending the 'who's boyfriend is better' battle. They ate in silence. Minseok and Lay kept glancing at each other, kicking each other's feet under the table once in awhile. 

"So, how's the food?" Luhan asked. 

Three different replies issued from each of the boys. 

"Good." 

"Delicious." 

"Fine." 

Luhan cleared his throat and nodded, gulping down his glass of water. Lay reached over and placed his hand on Minseok's thigh, who seemed to be uneasy. They would always touch each other somehow, and it was something that Minseok's grown used to. But as Lay squeezed the wrinkled dress pants that covered his legs, a bunch of goosebumps trailed across his neck. Minseok was getting nervous as the time ticked by. Not only did the whole Luhan business add to it, but if what Kris had told him back at school was true, then Minseok was only hours away from being a non- anymore. Worries on top of worries.

"You okay, Seok? Lay whispered. 

Minseok eyed Lay's hand that grasped tighter on his thigh and nodded quickly. "Excuse me, I just have to use the restroom." Sehun and Luhan continued to eat in silence as they watched Lay run after his boyfriend.

------

Minseok bent over the sink and slapped his face several times before eyeing himself in the mirror. 'Stupid. You're such a , Kim Minseok.' The washroom door flung open and Lay came flying in. 

"Babe, are you okay?" Lay brushed his hands across Minseok's cheek and cupped his cheeks. "Talk to me. You've been acting weird all night."

Minseok sighed at the sight of his boyfriend. "I'm sorry." 

Lay pulled in Minseok's face and planted a kiss on his forehead that gave Minseok chills. "For what?" 

"For ruining our first valentines together. I only asked you if we could come here because of Luhan who was telling me that I- that I-" 

Lay placed his hand on Minseok's shoulder as the tears welled up in the corners of his big eyes. "If this is about Luhan-"

"Yes- well- partially," Minseok paused, careful not to mention the fact that he was afraid of Lay's intentions that night, "it's because Luhan was saying that I was the weak one in our relationship, and it's true-" 

"No, it's not-" 

"It is true, even I know it. You're just the better boyfriend, and I'm- just a follower. Luhan was making me feel like I couldn't even do something as simple as ask you out to a double date, he was basically pressuring me, making me prove that I am a good boyfriend-" 

"Which you are." 

Minseok pursed his lips and immediately felt relief at that instant. "And, bringing you here...proving Luhan whatever it is he wants me to prove, it didn't change anything." 

Lay sighed and brought his hand down to find Minseok's and he leaned his hip against the sink counter. "Just because I plan what we do, it doesn't make me the better boyfriend, Seok. It's just me, doing what makes both you and I happy. You are EVERYTHING I could ask for. Don't let that pretty boy make you prove anything, because you are what I want." 

Minseok buried his head in Lay's chest and the two stood in still silence, Minseok inhaling the delicate scent of his boyfriend. 'I love you' Minseok replayed in his mind over and over again. 

"Well, we should probably get back. Luhan's probably looking for his baozi," Lay rolled his eyes at the nickname. Minseok giggled as Lay tugged his hand, pulling them out of the empty washroom. 

"Are you sure that's all that's bothering you Seok? I can call mom to pick us up if you want." Lay asked. 

Dirty thoughts began to filter Minseok's mind. He nervously looked down at Lay's hand that hooked his so tightly. 'Yes, of course I'm bothered by the fact that you're going to take my ity tonight.'"No. Let's finish the food." His voice went octaves higher. 

"And they're back! You two just couldn't wait huh," Luhan yelped and smirked, his bright smile blinding Lay. 

Sehun shoved his elbow at his boyfriend and made a disgusted face. He turned back at Minseok and looked worried. He stood up as Lay and Minseok walked towards them. "Are you two okay?" 

Lay looked at Sehun and back at Luhan. Two completely opposite people. "Yeah, Minseok's just not feeling well." 

"You two should go home then. I'll ask to pack your food-"

"We'll actually stay. We have no other plan for tonight anyway, right babe?" Minseok squeezed Lay's hand and innocently smiled.

Lay's eyebrows raised and he coughed a bit. "Yeah of course, no other plans." 

Lay looked over at his boyfriend who went ahead took a seat again, diving right in to the food, along with the other couple. He played with the plastic cover of the in his pocket that Kris handed him awhile ago. NO OTHER PLANS.

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[Kris 9:56 pm] Don't be a Yixing

[Self 9:57 pm] I'm scared holy I can't do it

[Kris 9:57 pm] I gave you all the necessities. Just think of it like one of your boring make out sessions except... You get to stick your in him ;)

[Self 10:00 pm] thanks a lot, I lost my appetite 

[Kris 10:00 pm] Don't be a

"Hey..." Minseok whispered to Lay who was shoving his phone back into his pocket. 

"Sorry, I-," Lay eyed the half eaten meal and almost gagged, "I lost my appetite." 

Minseok grinned at his boyfriend and whispered, "Then let's get out of here."

"And go where?" Luhan smirked from across the table. 

Lay rolled his eyes at the pretty boy who stared at them while Sehun was kissing his neck. 

"It's rude to eavesdrop." Lay blurted, and right away was stopped by Minseok's hand squeezing his thigh. He looked over at him and sighed. 

In unison, the two stood up and began putting on their jackets. "Thanks for the invite guys, but, well let you two enjoy the rest of the night...alone." 

Luhan leaned forward from his seat, breaking Sehun's lips from his neck, and he crossed his arms. "How about you two stay with us? We have a suite booked. The more the merrier." 

Sehun coughed and interrupted. "Sorry guys," Sehun slightly rolled his eyes, "you two have a good night." 

Lay waved him a goodbye, eyed Luhan up and down, and pulled Minseok towards the exit.

-----

So far so good. Minseok carefully watched his boyfriend who dragged him along the sidewalks. Lay held his left hand so that he was on the outer sidewalk, and Minseok was in the inner. 
 
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"I don't think it'll be a good idea mom... What if I hurt him?" Lay muffled in his pillow. 

"Well is he a down there...?" His mom was almost at a whisper.

Lay groaned. "I should've listened to Kris. I shouldn't be talking about this with you."

"Know what hun, I'm glad you did. Because now I'll know what you two are doing and I can help you choose safely-"

"This is so weird." Lay whimpered. 

His mom pursed her lips and sat beside her son on her bed. She chuckled and ruffled his messy hair. 

"Just make sure Seokkie wants the same thing as you do."

----- 

Lay was on top of Minseok, and the two were in the middle of a hot make out session. Both were feeling every inch of the other's warm skin, scratching, biting, heart pounding. Lay loved to have his nose and lips buried in Minseok's neck. Minseok growled as Lay gave him a hickey. 

Don't be a .

Lay heard Kris' voice in his head. He dragged his lower body higher up around Minseok's hips, grinding his way up higher. The both were shirtless already. Panting. Sweating. 

Just as Lay was about to undo his belt, he felt Minseok grasp his hand tightly, stopping him. 

"Lay..." Minseok turned bright red, "I'm not ready."

-----

"

And so, we didn't end up having . I'm not complaining though. I don't care. Actually.... I really ing care. It makes me feel so insecure. Am I not that attractive enough for Minseok? Was he turned off? Maybe he really just wasn't ready...or maybe I wasn't.

Anyway, I truthfully think that today . But even though I spent the night celebrating with gross Luhan and failing at my attempt to have with my first serious boyfriend, I'm still happy.

Minseok was with me the whole night and I wouldn't have changed a thing.

"

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Oh my goodness. Hello there. It's been more than a year I think since I've updated of even logged on to my account. I'm happy to announce that I'm back and I will complete this story for you guys. Sorry for the extremely long wait :( BUT! I have just started a new fic titled "Amore Cafe" and I'd really appreciate it if you guys gave it a read. Thanks for reading.   

*Not edited by the way, sorry!