“… and I hope you all have a wonderful summer break!”

Cheers and hollers echoed through the halls once the principal’s speech ended, all students rushing out of their classes to enjoy their freedom for two months.

Lay on the other hand was still in his seat, toying with his tangled earphones while watching the clock tick ever so slowly. He peered out the window and a loud splat was heard. He jumped back alarmed, but the gooey substance just made him roll his eyes. Eggs and other miscellaneous objects were thrown and chucked all around school since it was the last day and he had his fair share of laughs while watching all of the senior pranks.

One of the best pranks was the one where one of the seniors decided that it was a great idea to steal all of Mrs. Lee’s rules and glue them together.

To the top of her classroom.

He’s never seen her so upset and the red in her face made her look like a shriveled up troll that got really badly sunburned.

 

His teacher had zipped out of the classroom right after all of his classmates left, thus leaving him as the last person left.

Hearing the ruckus die down, made his way out the door, using caution to step over the pile of black sludge on the floor and ducking under all of the toilet paper decorations around the ceiling.

Strolling down the halls was something he hadn’t done in, well… ever really. Nobody to give him strange looks or hold up a fist at him signaling for new bruises and cuts. It was quite peaceful for the male and he relished every second, swinging around his broken pair of earphones and feeling serene from the amount lack of noise and havoc.

Passing a familiar class, he peeked through the crack and found a small group of female students sniffling and sobbing around a certain teacher.

“W-We’re going to miss you Mr. Kim!”

“Can we hang out over the summer?”

“I don’t want to leave!”

 

Standing a bit higher behind all of the heads was Suho with a reluctant smile over his face. He pat each girl’s head and told them to enjoy their summer while they were still in their youths.

“Tch, he really does sound like an old man.”

Backing away from the door, Lay turned to walk away when something was snagged on the doorframe, causing the door to rattle; its sound echoing in the empty hallway. He tugged at the cord, but to no avail were his earphones free from the door. He could hear footsteps coming towards the door and groaned at being caught.

Giving one last yank, he managed sprint away from the class, darting around corners to prevent himself from being seen. As he ran, another figure opened the door to find nobody outside.

 

“Was someone there?”

Suho turned his head to look in the hall and shook his head, bewildered by the sudden noise coming from the door. Spinning back around towards his students, he held the door wide open and gestured to it with his palm, standing straight like a gentleman and urging them to leave so he could pack up his things and leave like the rest of the faculty.

The girls unwillingly trudged towards the door and begged to have at least one hug from the teacher, who just shook his head once more and motioned for them to continue to leave. Once they were down the hall and out of earshot, he let out a loud sigh and walked back to his desk to collect the rest of his things. He pushed his books and took one last glance at the attendance book before locking it away in his desk for the next school year.

While walking towards the door, he pulled out his set of classroom keys and went to lock the door on his way out, but for some reason the door wouldn’t close properly. There would be a space between the doorframe and the actual door, making Suho scratch his head and use his entire body to force the door closed. When that didn’t work, he opened the door and examined around the edges to find the problem.

The doorknob seemed fine and it’s not like the door didn’t fit in the doorframe since he’s had the same class for the entire year. Before he stood back up, something caught his eye and was wedged against the frame in the corner. Before he knew it, Suho was already starting to sprint away from the class, abandoning his bag for the small object that he had found, which was now tightly grasped in his palm.

It wasn’t much, but he’d recognize that earphone piece from anywhere.

 

Lay stood with his arms propped against the railing of the roof, looking out at the horizon and admiring how it looked. The sky was blended with orange and pink and the clouds were high up in the sky, thin and evenly spread out. The wind was blowing lightly and it messed up his hair a bit, causing the boy to rake his fingers through it every once and a while.

Turning on his heel, he walked back towards the door, still swinging around the earphones that were broken beyond repair. When he pulled it back at the class, he managed to snag it free, but the price was that he snapped off one side. He was about a foot away from the exit when the door suddenly swung open, making Lay stagger back and eventually fall with a heavy body on top of his own.

 

“Get off me!”

“No! Not until you talk to me!”

Lay struggled under Suho’s grasp, while the latter just did his best to keep him from breaking free. Exasperated, Lay slammed his fist against the concrete floor and sighed.

“Fine I’ll talk, but get off of me.”

Suho backed up, but still sat on Lay’s legs in case he tried to escape. Seeing that Lay wasn’t trying to make a break for it, he cleared his throat and began.

“Why were you avoiding me?”

Lay narrowed his eyes and stayed like that for a second, making Suho sweat a little at his silence.

“You’re really asking me that?”

“Just answer the question!”

Lay massaged his temples and glared at Suho, annoyed by how things weren’t going as planned.

“It’s because the entire school population thought that you and I had something going on and I wasn’t about to let you get fired for something that wasn’t even true.”

“…That’s it?”

Lay shoved Suho’s chest and crossed his legs, feeling the blood start to circulate after having him sit on them for so long.

“Yes and if that’s all you needed to ask me then I’m going to leave.”

Suho’s eyes widened as Lay grabbed his bag and watched as the latter made his way back to the door. He stood still until he was the only one on the roof.

“Is this really it between us?”

Suho balled his fists and felt something poke at his palm. Turning his wrist upwards, he opened his palm and remembered the real reason he ran and left all of his belongings on the floor, the real reason why the broken piece in his hand was so important.

Dashing down the steps and through the halls, Suho could feel his lungs begging for a break, but kept pushing his legs until he finally made it to his destination.

“LAY WAIT!”

 

Turning on his heel, Lay spun around to find a man visibly breathing hard with his hands on his knees. The crown of his head had a patch of black while the rest was a platinum blonde.

“L-Lay, wait… Wait a m-moment…”

Lay stood with his weight on one leg, crossing his arms and staring blankly at Suho who just tried to gulp as much air as he could.

“… What is it?”

Once Suho lifted his head, Lay felt something spark in the air between them. Suho’s eyes were determined and his fixed posture walked towards Lay without breaking eye contact. 

Placing a hand on Lay’s shoulder, Lay felt himself shudder from a simple touch, heart already wavering from the strong gaze in Suho’s eyes.

 

“I love you.”

 

As quickly as Lay had made his resolve, once he had heard Suho call his name it was quickly thrown out the window from those simple words. Keeping his expression the unchanged, Lay shook his head slightly and looked up with a small smile on his face.

“You’re lying.”

Suho’s fists balled up from Lay’s response and glared back at the boy in front of him.

“No I’m not, I’m being serious!”

Lay clasped a hand on Suho’s shoulder and squeezed it comfortingly, not letting their eyes drift apart.

“Compare this feeling to someone else that you know or once knew. Anybody else and tell me exactly what your thoughts are.”

Suho stared at Lay for a few seconds before dropping his gaze to his feet, not letting go of Lay’s shoulder. Lay felt a twinge in his chest for having to test Suho, but kept his feet firmly planted in place.

“How else could I compare this overprotective need about anything that comes to you? Those last few days without you made me worried and upset…”

Lay could feel his heart swell at Suho’s words, feeling his heart turn to goo and how special Suho had described his feelings made him sound so special.

“I couldn’t even think of what was going to happen if you didn’t talk to me before school got out! You’re like family to me and-“

“So what you’re saying is that I’m like a brother you never had?”

Suho nodded fervently and Lay tried his best not to let his expression change, despite the ache in his chest. His heart was swelling so high and then had dropped a thousand stories, landing on the hard ground with a sickening splat.

 

A hand rose up and nudged Suho’s hand off of its placement, descending back to its original position.

“I can’t accept this. Sorry Suho.”

Lay tried to make another quick escape, but Suho grabbed the back of his collar, almost choking him from the front at the harsh yank.

“What do you mean? Lay you need to tell me these things!”

Turning around, he slapped Suho’s wrist away.

“I don’t want to be a brother to you and I’m not your family.”  

Before Suho could react in shock or anger, Lay had pulled him into his chest, wrapping his arms around him and holding his body tight.

“L-Lay?”

“I’m not your little brother Suho. You can’t just treat me like a kid…”

Lay pulled away and inched his face closer to Suho’s, his tongue darting out to his dry lips. Once Suho finally grasped ahold of the situation, he flinched seeing Lay’s face so close to his and shut his eyes. He was gripping at Lay’s shirt so tightly that his knuckles turned white and Lay just chuckled before maneuvering around his face to press a chaste kiss to Suho’s cheek. He pulled back and watched Suho poke an eye open, checking to see if Lay was still close to him or not.

“I’m sorry Suho, but hear me out. I like you and I don’t know if this feeling I have is more than just a simple like, I wanted to tell you. I always thought you were an amazing teacher and admired you, but I should have known that it would have only stayed that way, especially since you didn’t recognize me until I was getting my beat by Hyunshik.”

Suho’s eyebrows creased upwards confusedly, but allowed Lay to continue speaking.

“You were the first person I got close after I moved and I really thank you for that. Sorry I have to ruin our friendship like this though.”

“S-So that person you liked that day we were talking on the roof… Was it m-me?”

Lay nodded slowly and looked away once he did, not wanting to see Suho’s face.

“I-I… I don’t know what to say… I’m so sorry Lay, but I have no idea what to make of this. I-“

“You don’t have to answer. I just wanted to tell you before it was too late.”

Suho’s fingers played with the hem of his shirt and the two of them avoided eye contact for a while, unsure of what to do.

“Did you learn English for me? Is that why you had that English book with you?”

Lay’s body visibly slumped a bit and Suho took that as a yes, feeling something flutter in his stomach.

“I’m sorry Lay, I don’t know how to react to this…”

Lay glanced up and gave him a small smile, not big enough to reach his eyes, but it was still sincere.

“Its fine, it probably wouldn’t have worked out anyways. We’ll forever be friends though, so don’t let your old mind forget that, okay grandma?”

Lay punched Suho’s arm playfully and Suho just smiled in return.

“Shut up brat.”

Lay let out a hearty laugh before giving Suho one last hug, digging his head into Suho’s neck.

“I guess this is goodbye. See you later Suho.”

“Later Lay, don’t get lazy over the summer now.”

Suho pat his back encouragingly, that making Lay roll his eyes at how Suho’s teacher qualities really stand out.

“He’s a really good kid.”

 

Lay walked down the street, away from the school and turned around to find nobody following him. Only he was on the sidewalk and it seemed like the area around his school was a ghost town. Seeing that the sky was getting darker, he picked up his pace a bit and hurried home.

As he was walking, he felt a drop on his shoe and cursed as the droplets got heavier and more intense. It had begun to rain, blanketing the ground with a slow amount of rain drops before pelting everything with liquid from the heavens. Seeing that he wasn’t nearly home yet, Lay placed his bag over his head and walked leisurely, not caring if his clothes or bag got wet. They didn’t have school for another two months so it didn’t matter.

Once he opened the door to his house, his foot made contact with a heavy box and let out another curse, alerting the house of his arrival. His mom ran into the hallway and started to yell at him for tracking water into the house and how wet his clothes were. Walking past her, Lay plugged an ear facing her with his finger and quickly made his escape to his room before she could cause any more pain to his eardrums.

When he entered his room, he could feel a wave of euphoria wash over him. His bed felt more like home than when he had entered his house and felt calm by how the blanket seemed to caress his tired self. Lay could feel the stress piling up on him and he would have started to drift off to sleep if it weren’t for the drops of water on his face.

Kicking his feet up towards the ceiling, he sat up and could feel the warm liquid starting to redirect itself, flowing down his cheeks. He used both arms to push the window closed, but the feeling of it not budging made him even more upset.

The window was already closed and the rain hadn’t been the reason for the water on his face.

 

Rubbing at his eyes angrily, he felt his heart break apart as more tears came down.

 

 

 

Two months later

 

 

Suho woke up from the blaring sound coming from his phone. Reading the time as six o’ clock, he made his way out from his bed and cleaned up, washing his face and brushing his teeth. It’s been two months since school got out and two months since he’s seen Lay; definitely regretting not getting his number before the summer started.

Over the two months, his roots were starting to grow out and he decided to color his hair back to black, making his physique defy his actual age even more than it usually did.

Satisfied with the man in the mirror, he made his way to the school with a slight skip in his step.

 

“Good morning class, my name is Kim Joonmyeon and I will be your English learning teacher for the rest of the year. I hope we can all get along and get through the year, yes?”

His hands were clammy as he recited his introduction for the third time that day. No matter how many years of experience he had gotten, it would always be rough for him on the first day. Seeing some of the girls giggling at him and boys attentively nodding their heads when he spoke; he could tell that they weren’t going to have that rough of a year. New and old faces came and went, but by the time the fifth class had ended, he became anxious for the rest of the day.

Suho had six classes total and Lay still hadn’t showed up.

There were some students from last year that he hadn’t seen still, but he still held his breath with every student that came into his class.

Lunch that day was a bit bland, especially since his sister hadn’t woken up early enough to make him lunch, therefore making him go to the cafeteria for a bite to eat.

Passing by a familiar set of stairs on the way back to his class, he saw something that wasn’t there last year.

A long strip of yellow blocked off the top part of the stairwell and discouraged any personnel past its barrier.

He didn’t think much of it since he was pretty sure it wasn’t technically accessible last year.

 

Time was ticking and the bell had rung. Students all bid their goodbyes, some more passionate than others, but they still all filed out of the classroom and made way for his last class. Indeed he was correct and many of his students from last year came into the room, giving him cheerful greetings to see him again and after the long summer.

Digging into his desk drawer, he shuffled the items around to reveal a familiar clipboard. Holding the attendance sheet up, he gave a small smile to Hyeji to do attendance, but someone else stood in her place. He stepped back a bit, startled by how enthusiastic the student in front of him was.

“Hyeji said that I can do attendance this year!”

“What was her name again? Sooji? Sojin?”

Suho tried to wrack his head as fast as possible to figure out the student’s name and only after she stomped her feet at his hesitation did the memory pop into his head. She was Hyunshik’s girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend. If he could barely remember the poor girl’s name, then he wouldn’t even try to figure out of the two young students were still in a relationship. Looking up back at the girl, he could see Hyeji seated in the back of her, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

“Are you sure that Hyeji said it was okay?”

The girl in front of him gave a sickly sweet smile and nodded her head.

“Of course! Isn’t that right Hyeji?”

Hyeji nodded fervently and kept her head down low for a couple seconds until the girl turned back towards him with the same smile on her face. Once she had turned away from Hyeji, her eyes darted back up to Suho and he became a little on edge for some reason. He couldn’t figure out why Hyeji kept looking at him weirdly. Seeing that no bullying was occurring, he dismissed the thought and extended his hand out to give the clipboard over.

“A-Ah, here you go…”

He kept his eyes glued to the surface of his desk and didn’t dare to lift his head, (im) patiently waiting for the girl to stop giving him winks behind the wooden clipboard.

“All done Mr. Kim.”

He accepted the clipboard and his eyes scanned over the names, puzzled by her way of marking. The girl had used the black marker he had given her to draw a dark streak over Lay’s name.

“Uhm… Why did you cross out Lay, I-I mean… Why did you cross out Mr. Zhang’s name?”

The girl turned and raised an eyebrow at him, not saying a word and making Suho furrow his eyebrows. Seeing his discomfort, the girl’s eyes widened and were quick to become attracted towards the ground.

“Well… I thought it’d be okay to cross out his name since he’s not in the class…”

Feeling the anger boil in his veins, Suho covered the irritation with an irking smile.

“And why would you do that? Just because he’s not in school today doesn’t mean he won’t be here tomorrow.”

His student just twirled her hair with her manicured finger while jutting her lower lip out, trying to look cute even when Suho was close to yelling at her.

“Please go and sit, we are going to begin class.”

Finally looking up at his class, every student was there except for a familiar Chinese student in his usual spot in the far corner of the room.

“MR. KIM!”

“Huh? Yes?”

“When are we going to start class? You’ve been staring into space for like, five minutes!”

Quickly glancing at his watch, Suho saw that five minutes did indeed pass while he was lost in his thoughts and he smoothed out the front of his collared shirt. No matter how much he tried to compose himself, nothing seemed to work and his eyes would only drift to the empty seat in the back of the room.

“I only did ice breakers with the other classes and since I already know all of you, this period will be a free period.”

The class cheered at the words “free period” and began to talk amongst themselves, taking total advantage of the free class. Suho slumped into his seat and within seconds was his mind wandering away from his class.

Where was the boy? Did he oversleep again? He had so many questions that he just couldn’t put his finger on, frustrating him and giving him a throbbing headache by the time the bell rang.

 

“Bye Mr. Kim!”

He gave halfhearted waves to the students and kept himself in his seat. He began to drift away when a shadow loomed over him and made his vision darker.

“Mr. Kim, are you okay? You were really spaced out during class today.”

Suho lifted his head to find oh so angelic Hyeji giving him a worried glance.

“Y-Yes, I’m just a bit tired since today is the first day back is all.”

Hyeji nodded slowly and began to leave, but stopped in her tracks, peering nervously between the door and Suho who still sat exhausted in his seat. Nobody was in the class except for the two of them and Suho could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand for some reason.

 “A-Actually, I… I need to give you something.”

Hyeji rustled through her bag and pulled out a white envelope, presenting it to him while bowing her head. Suho became alarmed at the item in her hand, but still took the envelope anyways, anxiously waiting for her response for the sudden envelope.

Suho watched as Hyeji continued to wiggle awkwardly in her spot, clutching the strap of her bag tightly and making her knuckles turn white.

“Hyeji I’m sorry, but you know that teachers are not allowed to have relationships with students.”

Hyeji’s head snapped up and her entire face was flushed, slightly panicking in her spot.

“W-WAIT! I-IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK! I, UH…” She stuttered, curling her hair around her beet red ear.

“Then what is this? A note from your parents?”

Hyeji shook her head and ushered for him to open the envelope while adjusting the straps on her bag.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re never this, ah how do I put it… Vulnerable?”

Suho chuckled at her words and ran his fingers through his hair, loosening up the strands from the wax he had applied that morning.

“I’m just worried about Yixing. He didn’t come to class today and I haven’t kept in touch with him during the summer so I’m not sure how he’s been.”

Her eyes widened at his statement and her expression changed into something more somber and gloomy.

“Mr. Kim, you didn’t hear?”

Her words were like ice to his heart and Suho grabbed her shoulders roughly, desperately trying to get rid of the lump in his throat to speak and find out what she meant. Hyeji easily pushed him off in his shaken state.

“Yixing talked to the office ladies before school ended, so I thought you had known about it…”

“Known about what?”

“Wasn’t Lay switching schools?”

The room became quiet and you could probably have heard the dust being blown across the floor from how silent it became.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, he gave some papers to the office people before school finished and I think they were documents to switch schools.”

Suho’s eyes drifted towards the white envelope on his desk that seemed to call his name, beckoning him to open and figure out the reason behind this confusion.

“What’s in the envelope?”

Hyeji shrugged and began to make her way towards the exit.

“Yixing didn’t tell me. I saw him a couple days after school finished and he told me to give you that when we got back to school. Bye Mr. Kim and hopefully what’s in that envelope can answer a couple of questions.”

Suho just stood still as she left the room. Once the door closed with a click, he ran over to his desk and rushed to open the envelope, almost ripping what was on the inside.

Finally getting the outer wrapping off, a single yellow sheet of paper was in its place. The sides were crisply folded, but the paper still had some crinkles despite how nice the envelope was. Suho took a deep breath before sliding his thumb under the yellow fold, pushing the top open and smoothing out the bottom. Judging by the script, he figured that it was a letter and began to read.

 

Dear Suho,

 

            You’re probably reading this and not really understanding why I wrote this letter instead of talking to you in person. To be honest I was really scared and I just didn’t want to hurt you. You were the first person that was nice to me when I transferred and I was really grateful, but it was a shame that we didn’t actually begin to talk until way later.

 

            At first, I had admired you from afar and you didn’t even know my existence until that fateful day. I guess getting bullied has its perks, huh? After finding me being beat up by Hyunshik and his friends, I tried to push you away. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t hate you or anything back then, but imagine how I felt. The guy I kind of liked had realized I had existed, but he found me being beaten up in a place that was off limits. I was embarrassed and shy at the time so I thought you would just get tired of me and leave me be.

 

            After that day, we had gotten much closer and I’m really glad I forgot my book on the roof that day. The days after were pure bliss and I treasured every day, even the days that we would argue because I was a brat and you were the grumpy old man haha. Our day at the aquarium was one of the best days of my life and I never want to forget that day.

 

            Which leads me to my next point… The last day of school was my last day and I won’t be attending Kyungbok anymore.

 

            I didn’t want to hurt you and I feel so guilty for not telling you in person, but I didn’t know how to put into sentences to actually talk to you. Even now this is really hard for me to do…

 

            My busy dad got a new job and my mom decided to just move and relocate again. 

 

            I’m moving to America.

 

            I’m so sorry Suho. I didn’t know that I’d become so close to you and have to leave like this.

 

            You won’t be able to contact me since we didn’t share contacts before I left. Plus I heard that international calls are pretty expensive so I don’t think it would be a good idea even though you’re practically rich (Damn rich gramps).

 

            I’m really glad we became friends even though it was only for a short while. Everything I had said was true and I really did love you. When you told me you loved me, I was so happy I could die, but you didn’t think the same love that I thought of. Even though I was a bit hurt that day I’m glad that we talked on the last day and I’m glad our friendship didn’t break. It’s better to be a brother to you than a total stranger, right?

 

 

            I’m sorry Suho…

 

 

            I love you

 

Signed

it

Love, Lay

 

He let his eyes roam over the letters, once, twice and even a third time before he slammed his fist against the top of his desk.

He ignored the slight pain in his hand and continued to bang his fists on the desk, almost cursing as the paper in his hands started to wrinkle more in his shaky hand.

 

“Well why do you have an English book with you? Aren’t two languages enough?”

Suho saw Lay’s eye twitch and the boy just looked back up to the sky.

“I need to learn English that’s why and the rest is none of your business.”

 

“What else did you need me to do? I already turned in my papers to the school so I don’t see why-“

“STOP ARGUING AND GET YOUR BACK HOME RIGHT NOW! THERE’S A LOT TO BE DONE STILL AND I NEED YOU TO BOX MORE THINGS FOR ME!”

 

The gears in Suho’s head were spinning faster than ever as he tried to comprehend the knowledge that was given to him. He tried to keep his mind straight while trying to balance his emotions, which wasn’t going well. The tears were already starting to come out and drip onto the paper in his hand.

 

“I love you Lay… I love you too… But I’m too late to say it, aren’t I?”

 

 

 

END

 

 

 

There will be no sequel to this story