TITLE [3/5]: the title was pretty common to me. it did gave me the 'angsty' feeling, but other then that, the only thought that popped into my mind was character death. after reading the first chapter and i figured the content and plot matched the title very well.

DESCRIPTION & FOREWORD [8/10]: it was great! your description didn't quite give out anything, and it made me thinking. ahh, i guess i have to prepare for a heartbreaking ending, huh? huhu. the description was also simple yet attracting at the same time. it did not have any major grammar or punctuation error(s), so i say you did a pretty good job.

GRAPHICS [9/10]: the characters' facial expressions matches the tag 'sad' very well, and the background gives off a peaceful-like aura. you don't have any problems here, so i guess there's nothing more to say.

CHARACTERIZATION [6/10]: they personalities and characteristics were good, but i felt like you didn't describe them enough yet. you need to describe them more. at the beginning of the story i thought that sura wasn't dead, i thought she was alive. and one more thing, why was sura still trapped in baekhyun's world? why did she have to wait until 'that time' to leave to world? to leave baekhyun? and i didn't think you describe yeonmi's personality enough, too.

PLOT [34/40]: yep- i had read stories like this before, but your story got me. the 'angsty' feels- but strangely though, i didn't felt like crying. maybe it wasn't heartbroking/ sad enough? there were no presence of plot twist(s) and i kind of expecting everything to happen like that, which it did. it was kind of cliché but it was still good.

CONSISTENCY [3/5]: you know, i think that the relationship between baekhyun's and yeonmi's was pretty fast. i felt like this: they met, baekhyun's cold-hearted again, he noticed the innocence in yeonmi's eyes,  he cried on her shoulders, slowly they fall in love and- woah. i think you have describe what happened between them more, to make it more interesting.

GRAMMAR & WRITING STYLE [7.5/15]: i like your writing style, it was simple and easy to understand. but there were quite a lot of grammar errors though, and there were some words then you were wrongly connected with each one and another, like 'at least', 'in fact' and 'every day'. they are separated words.

(original): but then seeing baekhyun's sincere smile, made her heart flutter.                                                                                                                 (revised): but then seeeing baekhyun's sincere smile, made her heart fluttered.

(original): she could clearly see that this man infront of her has been crying for a very long time..                                                                     (revised): she could clearly see that this man in front of her had been crying for a very long time..

→ story is in past tense, then 'flutter' and 'has' must be in past tense, too.

(original): when they just became a couple. baekhyun gave her a promise ring, like he had.                                                                                      (revised): when they just became a couple, baekhyun gave her a promise ring, like had.

→ it is pretty awkward to end the sentence like that. when they just become a couple. you should continue the sentence, if you don't, well, it will effect the flow.

(original): baekhyun's eyes widened in disbelief, More tears started dripping out.                                                                                                           (revised): baekhyun's eyes widened in disbelief, more tears started dripping out.

→ no capital letters in the middle of the sentence unless it is a person's name or a country's name!

(original): as if on cue, the wind blew again through the night sky again.                                                                                                                          (revised): as if on cue, the wind blew through the night sky again.

→ don't repeat the same words in the sentence, like 'again', as it already has 'again' in the sentence.

OVER-ALL ENJOYMENT [4/5]: i personally enjoyed your story very much! though there were some sentence that were quite awkward and made me felt strange while reading, but other then that it's all good.

TOTAL SCORE: [74.5/100]; → GRADE B

reviewer's notes

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