TITLE [3.5/5]: well, the title makes me think: how does the heart speaks? eventually, curiosity will get the best you. i see your story has received lots of love, huh? the title is not very unique but pretty original at some point. it is not very eye-catching enough though when scrolling down through the stories.

DESCRIPTION & FOREWORD [7/10]: you made me felt the hate between sehun and jongin immediately. it seemed like sehun really really hates jongin very much. and sehun being so arrogant-like saying he's the smartest and most beautiful creature in the world? i have a feeling this story is going to be funny, maybe romcom? i would like to see how this hate between them turn into love. must be interesting. here, there some errors in the description-

(original): you were an annoying brat, a tan skin bastard who never left me at peace.                                                                                            (revised): you were an annoying brat, a tanned skin bastard who never left me at peace.                                                                            

→ the whole story is in past tense, so 'tan' has to be past tense, too.

GRAPHICS [6.5/10]: this, the poster didn't brought out the 'i hate you, you hate me and we fall in love' feel but i guess i can feel the fluff from it. but in my opinion, the poster is quite small. getting curious with the quote in the poster here! the background is fine, anticipating the fluff scenes!

CHARACTERIZATION [6.5/10]: can't give you any high marks for this, as you only have one chapter uploaded for now. basically i can't get their personalities yet because obviously, the first chapter is about two of them hating each other. nothing else.

PLOT [30/40]: i find the story quite amusing and funny. really jongin, chop sehun's body into 97 parts and and give your dog his meat? wow. jongin was so amusingly funny in the story and i am looking forward for you to update. but here- i haven't tell you yet why he married kim jongin, have i? are you writing in the author's pov? if you are, then it was quite funny- maybe even awkward- to use 'i' in author pov. it is very unsuitable, so i suggest you changing it, maybe to something like this:

(original): i haven't tell you yet why he married kim jongin, have i? let just say they were both.. a fool. you ask me why? honestly, i don't know where to begin.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                (revised): are you curious of why was sehun married to kim jongin? no? lets just say they were both.. fools. you ask me why?honestly, i don't know where to begin.

→ and also, 'both' is specifying something/ people that is plural or more then one, therefore it is fools, not 'a fool'.

CONSISTENCY [3/5]: since you only have one chapter.. the flow was quite good, though i suggest you to describe their childhood lives first. how they hate each other and why? or are you planning to do that later in the upcoming chapters?

GRAMMAR & WRITING STYLE [13/15]: i like your writing style, it was pretty straightforward. however, there are some grammar mistakes along the story.

(original): however, he was awake by a sudden loud knocks followed by a brutal kicks on his door.                                                    (revised): however, he was awakened by sudden loud knocks, followed by some brutal kicks on his door.

→ the whole story is past tense, so 'awake' has to be past tense as well. 'loud knocks' and 'brutal kicks are plural, so you can't use 'a' sudden loud knocks and 'a' brutal kicks. it's incorrect.

(original): he quickly grabbed his fluffly pillow and hastily threw it into his-so-called-husband face when the latter made his..                                       (revised): he quickly grabbed his fluffy pillow and hastily threw it at his so called-husband face when the latter made his..

→ technically, jongin's not a ghost or invisible, and you can't use threw it 'into' his so-called husband face. your sentence means sehun threw the pillow into his face, and the pillow never came out of his face or sehun threw the pillow into his face, and the pillow passed through his face like he was the air. so i changed 'into' to 'at', it is more suitable.

(original): he tried to push the tan skin guy..                                                                                                                                                                        (revised): he tried to push the tanned skin guy..

→ again, the whole story is in past tense and 'tan' has to be in past tense, too.

OVER-ALL ENJOYMENT [4/5]: i quite enjoyed this story at some point. too bad it only has 1 chapter though~ your readers did love your story very much, as i can see they left their comments in the comment section. everyone of them was overwhelmed with the sekai/ kaihun feels, and so was i.

TOTAL SCORE: [73.5/100]; → GRADE B

reviewer's notes

thank you for requesting here! if you don't understand something what i said/ type, kindly leave a comment below or pm me.

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