The sun ray broke through the curtains and stung my face. I frowned and tried to get up from my sleep. Apparently I slept on my couch again.

I walked toward my kitchen and took a glass of water to relieve my dry throat. It felt like just few hours ago I fall asleep. Since I read that letter. Yes, a letter from Nana. I kept awake all night long and couldn’t close my eyes even just for awhile. I wished Nana suddenly knocks onto my door. And I could see her once again.

I put my head down on the kitchen-table. I felt so tired. I wanted to forget. I wanted to move on. But it still felt really odd. Nana couldn’t leave me like this. It wasn’t right.

Chanyeol, sorry for asking you to come back soon. I know you still wanna be there for a long period together with your parents. And I’m not your anybody to restrain you.

How long you go? A week as you said? However you said it can be sooner, I know it’s not as soon as this letter reached you.

I’m sorry, if I often visited your apartment only to bother you and give you that nothing valuable apple pie. But really, I was so happy you accept it.

It may sounds too much, but I’m so lucky to meet you and got to know you. You’re my precious friend. And I really mean it.

I’m leaving, Chanyeol. I have my own place to stay for a long time here. Sorry for not telling you. I hope you’ll understand.

I really want to meet you once again albeit it’s impossible for me.

Thank you, Chanyeol. See you again.

Nana

That letter bothered me a lot. It was really strange. I just... felt that something’s not right. Whether it was me, Nana, or the letter itself.

Now what can I do? Even that girl didn’t tell me where she’s right now. Did she really count me as a friend?

Falling slowly eyes that know me

and I can't go back

Moods that take me and erase me

and I'm painted black

***

It was 2.00 a.m. when I tried to check my clock. I heard some noisy outside my apartment. And my door that getting hitted so hard many times.

I sharped my ears. I could hear Nana screams. Yes, I was so sure it’s her voice. Abruptly I jumped from my couch and ran straight to my door.

I saw Nana. She was really in a mess with half of her hair covering her face. And then my gaze turned to two guys who hold her tightly. One of them looked so old. And the other one, I thought just as same age with me.

“C-Chanyeol!” Nana cried.

“Let go of her!” I shouted.

I didn’t have any idea what’s happening here, and who the hell they are. But seeing they hurt Nana really made me so mad.

I tried to pull Nana’s arm and drag her to me. But the old man slapped my hand away.

“Don’t you try to poke your nose into it, kid! She’s my daughter!” He claimed.

I knitted my brows. He’s her father? Then what is he thinking he’s doing to her?

I was stubborn to carry Nana with me. I beated him when he’s still keeping Nana over me. And when I had that little chance, I dragged Nana inside my apartment and lock my door. Those guys seemed fed up and kicked my door repeatedly.

I hold my breath while hiding Nana behind my back. I waited until they were really gone from outside my apartment. And when I heard no voice again, I turned to Nana.

God, how I miss this girl. And I was so thankful I still managed to see her once again. But why should in a situation like this?

“Nana...” I called her.

Nana looked at me. And slowly her tears covering her beautiful eyes. Those eyes which I love the most, now they’ve gone.

“Chanyeol...” she fell onto me and I immediately hold her body. Embraced her.

She was sobbing on my embrace. And I could only her hair. Tried to calm her down.

“It’s okay. Everything’s okay.”

You have suffered enough

and warred with yourself

It's time that you won

***

I kept awake throughout the night. Afraid that everything was just a dream. That Nana’s existence only like fatamorgana for me. But nope. She was really here. Cuddled up under my warm blanket, while me watching her from my couch.

My legs stepped up toward the bed where she sleeps soundlessly. I aligned my gaze with her face. She looked really tired. Dark circles formed under her eyes. Did she get enough sleep? Did she suffer of hunger?

Those questions filled my head. Made me more worried over what just happened to her. I put aside her hair from her beautiful face, and then realized trails of tears formed on her cheeks. I rubbed my thumb there, wiped them off. Then I bent closer and quietly kissed her head.

Don’t worry, Nana. You’re safe with me.

I was preparing breakfast when I heard my room’s door opened and Nana stood there. Stared at me.

I smiled at her. Slowly, Nana approached me and peeked over my shoulder to see what I’m making. I continued my work while controlling my heartbeat that suddenly become a mess.

“Do you need help?” she asked softly. Her voice sounded so weak. It wasn’t like a voice that usually sounds so sweet to my hearing.

“No, thanks. Just sit there. I almost finish it.” I said.

Strangely, she obeyed. Not as usual when I prevented her from helping me. She just nodded and walked to a chair in front of the kitchen-table.

I immediately finished up my work and brought the breakfast to the table. Just two toasts and two glasses of milk for us. I set them in front of Nana.

“Don’t feel like eating?” I asked. Seeing she was just staring her toast with her droopy gaze.

Nana quickly gazed up and shook her head. She reached out her plate and slowly biting the toast made by me, and chewing it. I waited her finishing half of her breakfast before I ate my own breakfast. It was so quiet. And time passed so slowly. But I really didn’t mind.

“So...” I opened my mouth. Nana stopped eating, and put down her toast stiffly. “What happened?”

She bowed her head. Fear reflected on her face.

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna tell me.” I added quickly.

Nana shook her head. “The guy with me yesterday.... he’s really my dad.”

What?!

“Yes, he’s my dad.” She convinced me like she could read my mind.

“But, why...”

“I ran away from my house.” She explained as she exhales. “My place isn’t here. I fleed to my grandma’s house. Because only being there I feel safe.”

“Safe?” I asked confusedly. “From what?”

“You saw a guy with my dad yesterday?”

This time Nana stared at me. Yes, I remembered him. The guy which likely same age with me. With his suit and looked so formal. And... oh, could it be...

“He’s gonna be my husband.” Nana said it fast. Then she downed her head again, avoiding eye contact with me.

My brain seemed so slow to understand her simple words. Husband. Soon. To. Be.

I shook my head. “I don’t understand...”

Nana snorted. “You don’t have to understand, Chanyeol. All this time I didn’t understand it either. Don’t worry, you don’t have to think about this. Just me.”

“No, Nana. Tell me. What’s actually happening?” I forced her.

Nana shook her head.

“Nana, please...”

Once again she shook.

“Nana...”

She bowed her head deeper.

“Nana!” I shouted.

Finally she couldn’t help it. She sobbed on her chair. I stood up and approached her, then I kneelt beside her. I pulled her arm so she turned at me. She still put down her head. Tears started rolling down her face.

“I don’t like him...” she whispered. “I don’t like him, Chanyeol.”

My jaw dropped. I cupped her face with both my hands, forced her to look into my eyes. And I could see clearly those eyes showing pains. Really, where did those bright eyes which lock my eyes go?

“Nana, why didn’t you tell your father?” I asked softly.

“It’s useless, Chanyeol. My dad is on their side. That guy, and his family, are giving life to my family. We’re dead without them. That also means I should marry him. That guy.”

Married with that guy. So what do you think about me?

“Don’t...” I surprised that my voice will come out so deep and emotional like this. Nana rounded her eyes.

“Don’t go with him.” I begged. “Just stay here.”

Nana bited her lower lip, started to sob again. I brought her into my arms.

Don’t go. I’ll keep you safe here. You don’t have to go anywhere else.

***

We spent most time together after that. But she still didn’t want to go outside my apartment. She was afraid if her dad awaits her and ready to drag her home. Me too didn’t want to leave her alone. So I would just accompany her the whole day.

“Chanyeol-ah!” Nana called.

I gazed up from my guitar’s strings. I saw Nana stood beside my refrigerator holding an... apple?

“Is this the apple that I gave you back then?”

I put down my guitar and quickly grabbed that apple from her grasp. Nana was shocked.

“You don’t like it, huh?”

“No. I like it.” I shook my head quickly.

“So...”

“I keep it.” I cut her. “I just don’t feel like eating it.”

Nana gaped at me, but then she bursted out laugh.

“You’re weird, Park Chanyeol. The weirdest people I ever met.”

Nana made a way toward the couch. I immediately blocked her way.

“But you like me, don’t you?”

That girl tilted her head. “Do I? Hm, of course I like you.”

“No, it’s not ‘like’ like that. But―”

“Chanyeol.” Nana stopped me. She grabbed my shoulders. “I know. I like you too.”

After said that, Nana continued her walks toward the couch. She sat there and reached my guitar, trying to strum the strings.

She... she just said that she likes me, right? So, we’re a thing or something like that, now?

Nana called me who freeze at my spot and asked me to teach her plays guitar. With a little gasp I gained back my thought and walked to her immediately. Time felt so nice I through it together with Nana.

Or maybe not that nice.

***

I awaked from my sleep because a sound of someone’s chatting. I rubbed my eyes and checked my clock that only shows three at dawn. Like realizing something, I quickly turned to the bed where Nana sleeps. She wasn’t there.

I got up from my couch and began to find her. I was kind of hearing her voice from the kitchen, so I quickly turned my heels to make steps toward there. Right, Nana was there. She was backfacing me with a phone on her ear. I didn’t have any idea who is she talking to.

“I don’t want, Dad.” She said.

Oh, it’s her dad. I just stood still at my spot, not trying to get closer. Just watched her chatting with her dad in the dark covering my kitchen.

“I don’t wanna marry him!” she hissed. “And I can live by myself!”

I kept listening.

“...Dad, please...” she begged with little sobs. “Don’t! Don’t come here! It’s not because of him. He don’t know anything. Don’t hurt Chanyeol.”

I stiffened at the call of my name.  What will her dad do?

“Don’t treat him like what you did to grandma! It’s enough!” Nana hissed angrily.

Then silence for a long minute. I saw Nana leans her head on her palm. She seemed so fragile. I almost approached her when she suddenly opens again.

“Okay.” She whispered. Okay, what?

“Okay, I’ll do whatever you want. Just don’t make a fuss again. Don’t try to look for Chanyeol. And grandma. I’ll comeback there. I’m going back. Right now.”

With that, she hang up. She exhaled heavily, then turned around. I saw she was shocked seeing me already in front of her.

“Chanyeol! You scared me.” She protested.

“Don’t go.” I said, didn’t care what she says. “Don’t go again.”

Nana exhaled her breath and walked closer. “Chanyeol...”

I hugged her tightly. Not wanting to lose her.

“Don’t lie to me, Nana. I know you don’t want to go.”

Nana tried to escape herself from my hold. “Chanyeol, please. I have to go.”

I shook my head. “No. You stay here.”

Nana gave up. Her body weakened in my embrace. She sobbed.

“I love you, Chanyeol. So much.”

I tightened my arms around her. “I love you even more.”

Nana shook her head in my arms and freed herself from me.

“I should go.” She said.

She walked fast toward my room to take her bag. I followed her straightly.

“Nana!” I called.

“I can’t, Chanyeol. I’m sorry. I’ve made many people troubled because of me.”

I blocked her steps toward my front door. I stretched my arms widely to prevent her from escaping. It couldn’t be like this. I’ve ever lost her once, I wouldn’t lose her again.

“So, after you said that you love me, then you’re gonna leave me? Great. How do you think about me? My feeling?” I hissed.

Nana stared at me hopelessly. “No, Chanyeol. I really love you. I meant it. I just don’t want my dad hurts you.”

“You think I’m gonna give up just like that?!”

“Please, Chanyeol. I want no commotion again.”

I closed my eyes frustratedly.

Suddenly I heard a sound of my door that hitted strongly from the outside. I opened my eyes quickly.

“Chanyeol, it’s him.” Nana warned me as she made a way to the door.

I stopped her. “No.”

“Chanyeol, if you really love me just please let me once.”

“Just once and then you’re gonna leave forever? No, Nana. I won’t let you.”

Nana exhaled roughly. “Don’t make everything so difficult, Chanyeol-ah.”

I snorted unbelievably. “Oh, so did I make your life harder? Then, sorry.”

“It’s not like that, but―ah forget it. I’m going, Chanyeol.”

Nana opened my door. I saw her dad already stood there with his sharp gaze at me. He pulled Nana sraightly as she was out from my apartment. Nana let go her arm from him and motioned to her dad that she won’t go anywhere. Then, warily she turned to face me.

“Nana...” this time I was so defenseless. I couldn’t hope for more. For God’s sake, I’m really scared to lose her.

“Thank you for being my friend, Chanyeol. Take care of yourself. Don’t sleep too late. Don’t drink too much coffee. Don’t skip your breakfast. Don’t play guitar too long at the outside when it’s too cold, you catch a cold easily. Don’t busy with yourself, you still have your neighbors. Don’t forget to keep my apple that I give to you...”

Nana bowed her head deeper. I could see tears on her beautiful eyes.

“Don’t... don’t forget me.” She said softly. Almost couldn’t caught by my ears.

She wiped her eyes then smiled at me. My heart could really broke at that time. There are so much words I wanna say to her, but my tongue feels numb. I wanna hold back her, beg her to stay, but I know everything’s just a waste.

“Good bye, my friend. See you again.”

I didn’t get to awake from my emptiness, and she was already so far from my sight together with her dad. I wanna run to her, but my legs feel so stiff. I was broke. I couldn’t do anything.

Take this sinking boat and point it home

We've still got time

Raise your hopeful voice you had the choice

You've made it now

***

“What song do you like?”

“Hmm. Anything.”

“I’m Chanyeol.”

 “Nana.”

I finished one song that I play to her. My favorite song.

“Why did you play that song?”

“That’s one of my favorite songs. I’ve only sung it once. First, on my sister’s wedding. And this time’s  the second time.”

 “And... why?”

“I only sing it to someone special.”

Nana smiled. Since the time, I knew. She knew.

Falling slowly sing your melody

I'll sing along

(((the last part is added!! how is it guise? im sorry if it didn't reach your expectation ;c i hope you still like it! ty for those who subsribe and keep commenting^-^)))

((twitter))