“She came to give me soul.

And then she left with it.”

***

I saw her for the first time in the end of winter. When the snow started to stop falling and the wind blew not as much as before. I brought my guitar on my back when she passes by in front of me with hands full of plastic bags filled with apples in it. She seemed so in hurry ‘til I worried if she would slip on the slippery road with the snow that starting to melt. Just as I was thinking about it, I saw her fell on her knees not so far in front of me. I didn’t know if it was just a fate or just reflex action from my spine that make me run to her. I helped her collecting the apples that rolling over across the road.

“Here.”

I handed five apples ―didn’t know why she bought so many― from the much amount of apples that burst out from her plastic bags.

At that time I looked at her eyes. A pair of eyes that turning narrow as she smiled behind her scarf covering a half of her face. She took the apples.

I got up and settled the guitar on my back. Her, that girl also got up quickly. Then she gave an apple in her grasp to me.

“For you,” she said. Her voice was so sweet to my ears. And I would never forget it.

 Once again I looked inside her eyes that strangely sparkling and made my eyes locked on her. She had beautiful eyes.

I didn’t get to say a thank-you when she walked away quickly and left me alone.

I didn’t know what I feel, but I wanted to meet her once again.

***

Two weeks passed and I still haven’t met her again. I was questioning myself where she lives. Maybe it was right she doesn’t live around here when we met.

I stared at that apple which formed rotten parts on few sides eventho I’ve kept it in the refrigerator properly.  I didn’t want to eat it.

It was spring, but the cold air still remained. I exhaled quietly and stared at the road in front of me. Some strangers passed by, and when I saw her with her red-coat I was certain it’s really her.

I left my apple and my guitar on the bench and half-running to her. I cut in a line of strangers that pass by.

“Hey!” I shouted when I reach her.

She was shocked and her beautiful eyes widened. Oh God, she’s so perfect. I didn’t realize I just stand still in front of her and not knowing my actual reason why I called her.

She still froze at her spot, waiting for me to say something. But my brain was really blank.

“You... Are you going to somewhere?” I asked.

That girl mumbled quietly before answering.

“I’m just walking around here.”

That voice. I still remembered it clearly in my head.

“Do you wanna... sit together?” I pointed at the bench where I left my guitar.

She looked unsure. Her eyes watched me suspiciously. And I just realized something.

“Ah, you forget me? I helped you taking your apples when you fell...”

Suddenly her little laugh cut me off. God, even her laugh sounds so nice to my ears. Am I going crazy?

“I’m just kidding. Of course I remember you,” she smiled at me. I felt like I wanna stop the time.

“If that so, come on!” she ran on before me towards the bench across the road. I gained my conscious back and followed behind her.

“Please,” I said, motioning to her to sit on the bench. She obeyed. Then her eyes caught something.

“That apple...”

Ah, . I forgot to hide the apple.

Immediately I grabbed that apple and shoved it inside my pocket. I acted as nothing happened and soon sat beside her. I took my guitar, adjusted it in my grip then turned my head to her.

“What song do you like?” I asked.

“Hmm. Anything,” she answered.

I nodded and tried to strum the strings before playing it.

“I’m Chanyeol.” I said.

She nodded slightly. “Nana.”

I just smiled and then concentrated on my guitar.

Nana. Nice name. I wanted to tell her. But in the end I just kept silent and sing a song for her.

We spent a long hours that day.

I don't know you, but I want you

All the more for that

***

“Chanyeol-ah!”

Nana waved at me and I welcomed her with my brightest smile. I asked her to come in and hung up her coat behind the door.

“Grandma made apple pie for you.” She said excitedly as she opened a box that she brings. She put her elbows on the table, admiring her grandma’s apple pie.

 “It looks delicious.” I commented. Nana nodded. Her eyes brightened as I put that apple pie into my mouth. She waited me commenting about her grandma’s cook.

“The best.” I thumbed up at her and she immediately clapped her hands in excited. I felt so happy just by seeing her smile.

Nana curled up in my couch with a cup of hot chocolate in her hands when I approach her and take a place beside her. She seemed doesn’t feel disturbed and still concentrated at her hot chocolate.

“Nana...”

I called her when I feel that she’s still busy with herself without noticing me who stares at her all the time.

Finally she turned to me with her lift-up eyebrows. I liked her face. And I liked her eyes the most.

“I like you...”

I didn’t know where do I get the courage to say that thing to her. Really. Even I said it subconsciously, because my eyes locked on her beautiful eyes.

Nana looked at me with no expression. I didn’t know whether she’s shocked, confused, or just don’t understand with what I was just saying. But finally she smiled. Her eyes narrowed, almost gone forming a moon-curve.

 “I like you too, Chanyeol-ah.”

I should had happy. But before I could form a smile, she was already turning her head away and busy with herself again. As if her words just nothing.

But in the end I still forced a smile.

Being like this is enough.

Words fall through me

And always fool me

And i can’t react

***

Summer holiday, my parents asked me to come back home. Usually I’d be so excited to pack my stuffs and meet them as soon as possible. But this time I even didn’t want to go out from my room, nor my apartment eventho just for few days.

I was afraid if I won’t get to see Nana again when I’m back.

“What do you mean you’re still busy?”

My mom.

“I still have few things to do here.” I reasoned.

“Don’t make an excuse.” She protested from the other side. “I know you’re already in your summer holiday. Pack your stuffs and buy a ticket to come back here. Your dad and I already waiting for you.”

I put down my phone when my mom hang up just like that. I couldn’t against my mom’s command. Half-heartedly I prepared my luggage and started to pack my stuffs. I planned to stay there just for a week, after that I convinced myself to back to my apartment soon.

My eyes widened when I find Nana standing in front of my door. She wore a thin sweater and brought something on her hand. I guessed it’s apple pie from her grandma again.

“Where are you going?” she asked. Her face filled with.... worries? Oh, can I assume like that?

“Uhm...” I rubbed my nape. “I’m gonna back to my parents’ house. But I won’t take long.”

“How long?”

“A week? Maybe. Or sooner.”

Nana nodded carefully. “Okay.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked her, seeing not-so-happy face on her.

She quickly shook her head and gave me her smile. Smile that I always liked.

Nana stretched out her little basket on her hand.

“Apple pie for you to bring. Maybe your parents can try it.”

I accepted it happily.

“Your grandma’s made really is the best!” I praised.

Nana looked nervous. Then she said softly, “That’s.... I made it.”

I was quite shocked to hear it. Nana made this for me? It was weird but... I just felt so happy.

“Thank you, Nana! I’m sure this tastes better than your grandma’s cook.”

I couldn’t stop smiling.

Nana decided to comeback early because she thought that I’m in a hurry. She said goodbye to me and turned her body.

I was still watching her leave when her back suddenly turns.

“Uhm... you... please comeback soon, okay?”

And with that, she quickly turned away and gone from my sight. Made me questioning.

Was she really hoping for my existence around her?

And games that never amount

to more than they're meant

Will play themselves out

***

It was only five days I’m staying at home, but now I’ve already prepared myself to back to my apartment. This was sooner than usually. At least a week, or two weeks. I didn’t know, I just wanted to come back soon. I just felt worried.

I tapped my fingers on my thigh along my journey back to my apartment inside the train. I didn’t know Nana’s number, so I couldn’t tell her that I’m on my way to my apartment. Wait, why would I tell Nana? But... didn’t she wish me to come back quickly? Or... was it just nothing?

As I reached my apartment, I straightly walked toward my room to put all of my stuffs. I didn’t bother to clean up first because I still have one important thing to do. I grabbed my jacket and walked out from my apartment.

Silly me. How long I knew Nana, but I don’t know where she lives. I was always the one who invite her to my place.

So I was literally waiting for her on this bench. Hoping Nana walked through this place with a basket of apples on her hand. Then I’d wave at her and ask her to walk around. Or maybe, I just would ask where she lives first.

Night fell down, but I still didn’t find her existence. Maybe if I waited for a little longer, I was gonna be lucky. But night getting deeper, and I knew Nana won’t be out this late. I decided to back.

I didn’t know why I’m getting afraid as I reached my door. Worried if I wouldn’t see her again. That I should find her soon before she’s really gone.

It was so weird. Just few days ago I still believe everything’s gonna be okay. I got to know Nana and I’m very grateful. But now I was really scared that I’m gonna lose her from my life. Even I was nothing to her. But she was everything to me. Nana.

I closed the door behind me and rested my back against it. I stared at the floor. Then my eyes narrowed at the sight of white paper between my feet. I took it immediately. A letter?

My heart was beating so fast as my fingers tried to open the folds of the paper. And my knees really weakened when I was reading the hand-writing inside the letter.

Take this sinking boat and point it home

We've still got time

Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice

You've made it now

***

(((ok so... this is the first part of the story. and my first fic of chanana bc im starting to ship them //heLP. im gonna update the next part soon. so pls do subscribe and keep commenting^-^ im open to your critics . ppyong!)))