A/N: I think my depiction of the girl's reactions is pretty terrible and doesn't do justice to the situation at all, but - I started this fic on a total whim and it's been a lot more difficult continuing it than I thought. But I don't think that's a bad thing, necessarily; expanding your horizons and taking on challenges isn't supposed to be easy. Writing isn't easy. I hope you guys keep that in mind considering my abysmal update pace for most of my stories :))

Also, this is going to major fluffland already. THIS IS THE WAY I AM. Just putting that out there.

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Sooyoung keeps blinking, like she thinks the problem is with her vision. “Please tell me that I’m hallucinating.”

“You’re not hallucinating,” Hyoyeon says tiredly, “unless we’re all hallucinating the same thing.”

“I can believe that,” Soonkyu says. “It’s more believable than…”

“Than me turning into a guy out of nowhere?” Jessica asks wearily.

Nobody says anything to that, although the looks on their faces say it all.

“How did this happen?” Soonkyu asks, for the umpteenth time.

“I don’t know,” Jessica repeats, for the umpteenth time. She’s changed into a loose t-shirt and yoga pants, and brushed her hair. The result is—disconcertingly attractive.

Jessica doesn’t seem to have noticed the effect she’s having on the girls. (Sometimes she’s just so – not dense, exactly, but. Kind of dense. Tiffany is grateful for it, on this particular occasion.) Taeyeon has been staring at her, barely blinking, for the past fifteen minutes. Yuri keeps sneaking glances at her and then looking away, not fooling anyone. (Except Jessica, apparently.)

“What were you doing in Fany’s bed anyway?” Sooyoung asks.

“There was a storm,” Jessica says simply.

“Wow, you really are like a caring boyfriend.”

Jessica’s lips pinch into a taut line. “Choi Sooyoung—”

“Jessi is the best, isn’t she?” Tiffany says brightly, digging her nails into Jessica’s arm. Jessica redirects her glare on Tiffany, who just smiles back, pressing down a little harder. Jessica winces, but she doesn’t move her arm away.

“It’s okay, unnie,” Yoona says soothingly. “At least you make a good-looking guy.”

“Yeah, that totally makes it all better,” Jessica says sarcastically.

“I think you should say oppa instead,” Sooyoung pipes in. Jessica looks like she wants to strangle her.

“We have a performance tomorrow,” Hyoyeon speaks up. “We have to figure out what to do.”

They all look at Jessica, who looks at Tiffany. It seems that she’s become Jessica’s advocate. She clears . “We’ll have to talk to the manager oppas. I was thinking of calling Jooyoung oppa, but maybe Seungkook oppa or Kibum oppa would be more…accommodating. Taeyeon, what do you think?”

Taeyeon is still staring at Jessica. She doesn’t seem to have heard Tiffany at all.

“Taengoo.” Jessica’s aegyo is strangely not off-putting as a guy. If anything, it’s just a different kind of cute. “You have to help me.”

Something seems to snap into focus in Taeyeon’s eyes. She sits up straighter, and her eyes turn bright. “Of course I’ll help you,” she says reassuringly, patting Jessica’s hand. “Whatever you need, I’m here, Sica.”

Tiffany doesn’t think she’s imagining the emphasis Taeyeon puts on ‘whatever you need.’ She also has a strong urge to remove Taeyeon’s hand from Jessica’s, one way or the other. You’re losing it, Tiffany, she tells herself. This is Taeyeon and Jessica, your best friends. Why are you getting jealous?

“Taeyeon,” Tiffany repeats. “What do you think?”

Taeyeon doesn’t take her eyes off Jessica. “About what?”

Tiffany breathes in through her nose. In, out, in, out. “You’re the leader. This is—a crisis. What do you think we should do?”

Something in her voice must have alerted Taeyeon, because she turns her gaze on Tiffany, her expression turning serious and intent. This is leader Taeyeon, and Tiffany is grateful to see her.

“I’ll talk to Jooyoung oppa,” Taeyeon says, withdrawing her hand from Jessica’s. “We’ll have to tell him the truth. We can’t exactly hide Jessica from him forever.”

“Forever,” Jessica repeats, her voice quiet but the distress in it clear.

“It won’t be forever,” Tiffany reassures her, even though it’s not a reassurance she can make. “It’s just. We’ll work it out.”

“Yeah.” Jessica drops her head, her fringe covering her face. She almost looks like herself then. Almost. Tiffany has to remind herself to adapt to Jessica’s new body, but it’s not every day you wake up to see that your best friend has turned into a guy.

“It’ll be okay, Jessi,” Tiffany says softly. “We’re here for you.” I’m here for you. She doesn’t say the words out loud, but she has a feeling Jessica hears them anyway. They’re good like that.

Jessica smiles that sweet, stomach-flipping smile. Tiffany doesn’t miss Yuri’s blush, and Taeyeon’s blatant staring, and Sooyoung’s awkward little cough. It appears she isn’t the only one affected by that smile.

“There’s someone else we have to explain this to,” Hyoyeon says wearily. “Wait until Juhyun comes back.”

“Maybe she can find some scientific explanation,” Yoona says hopefully.

“Scientific explanation?” Sooyoung repeats. “How can you scientifically explain going to sleep as a girl and waking up as a guy?”

Jessica puts her head in her hands. “I just want to go back to normal,” she says in a small voice.

Tiffany wants to put her arms around her, hold her and rub her back and tell her that everything will be okay, that when she wakes up tomorrow, everything will be back to normal. She wants to keep Jessica in her arms, safe and protected from the rest of the world.

She settles for putting her arm around Jessica’s shoulder. It’s very hard, more from bone than muscle, much broader than before. That makes it a bit awkward for Tiffany to pull Jessica against her, but she does it, and Jessica buries her face against Tiffany’s shoulder, hiding her expression from view.

“This is hard enough on Jessica,” Tiffany says in a firm voice. “She’s upset, so please don’t make it any worse for her.”

“Jessica, I’m sorry,” Sooyoung apologizes sincerely. “I didn’t mean to – I’m sorry.”

“We’re all here for you, unnie,” Yoona adds. “You’re not alone.”

Jessica takes a shuddery breath; Tiffany can feel it against her skin, she almost shivers. Jessica raises her head. She smiles.

They all recognize that smile; they were taught to smile like that as trainees. Teeth and eyes, Tiffany remembers the instructor saying. The keys to a winning smile: teeth and eyes. None of them had really mastered the ‘eyes’ part. It’s harder to smile with your eyes than people make it sound. Tiffany’s made the most progress on that front. She can even fool the girls, sometimes.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Jessica says. “Since when was making fun not allowed around here? I mean, I may be—like this now, but I’m still me, you know. I don’t want things to be awkward.”

“But they’re going to be,” Soonkyu points out. Tiffany had half-expected her to join in on the teasing, but Soonkyu hadn’t made a single joke. She’s stayed calm and serious throughout, which is great, because they need that, with Taeyeon’s googly eyes and Tiffany’s stomach flipping all over the place. Maybe she ate something bad last night.

Soonkyu’s eyebrows draw together. “We can’t pretend nothing changed.”

“I know,” Jessica says, resigned. “But – I’m still me, okay? I know it’s hard to think about when I look like this, but can you guys try to remember that?”

“You’re still you, Jessi,” Tiffany says. “We know that.”

Jessica relaxes a little. Tiffany smiles at her, an entirely different smile from the one she was trained to give, and Jessica relaxes even more.

“Another thing,” Jessica says. “If any of you call me oppa, I’ll end you.” Her death glare really gives another dimension to the phrase ‘if looks could kill.’

Yuri chuckles. Instead of furtive glances, she’s just looking at Jessica warmly now. Tiffany can’t tell if the warmth is any different from usual, and it bothers her. She wants to know. “You’re still such a princess.”

Jessica shoots another glare at Yuri, but it looks like half a pout. “Why couldn’t you be the one to turn into a guy?”

“You calling me manly?”

“You’re still manlier than her,” Hyoyeon says, “even though she’s a guy now.”

Jessica blinks at her. “Are you saying I’m a pretty boy?”

“You kind of are, don’t you think, Fany?”

Tiffany studies Jessica closely, taking in every detail of her face, which really hasn’t changed much, which is still beautiful. “You look good, Jessi,” she says. “You always have, and you still do.”

Jessica ducks her head, her cheeks pink, her eyes shining, the picture of femininity, except – well, the obvious. It doesn’t occur to Tiffany that although Jessica’s induced quite a few blushes by now, this is the first time she’s blushed, and it’s because of a simple, honest remark from Tiffany.

That’s really all it takes for Jessica.

 

“Hey.” Soonkyu finds Tiffany alone after everyone clears out. “You look pretty wrung out.”

Tiffany tries to smile and doesn’t quite succeed. “It’s a stressful situation.”

“You can say that again.”

“It’s a stressful situation.” Soonkyu chuckles, and Tiffany almost follows. “How do you think Jooyoung oppa will react?”

Soonkyu’s mouth pulls down at the corners. “Calmly, hopefully. I think we could all use some calm around here.”

“Yeah.” Tiffany sighs. “Yeah, calm would be nice. Jessica’s so worried, she really doesn’t need”—Taeyeon hitting on her—“all this.”

Soonkyu sighs too. “You’ve got it so bad, don’t you?”

Tiffany gives her a strange look. “What do you mean?”

“I mean – you were…very protective of Jessica just now.”

“Well, yeah, she’s my best friend.”

“Taeyeon’s also your best friend, but you looked like you wanted to vaporize her.”

“She doesn’t have to ogle Jessica like that,” Tiffany protests. “You know Jessi is – she’s not cut out to be a guy.”

“I don’t think any of us are,” Soonkyu says dryly.

“She’s practically even more vulnerable like this.” Tiffany’s voice drops. “I just don’t want her to get hurt, that’s all.”

“I know that, Fany,” Soonkyu says softly. “I just think… I know you would never hurt her on purpose, but that doesn’t mean you won’t hurt her. And you’re the one who can hurt her the most.”

Tiffany feels like her head is spinning. “I don’t. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah, I know you don’t.” Soonkyu pats Tiffany’s arm; her touch lingers, weighing Tiffany down. “Hopefully, like you said, everything will work out.”

Tiffany stares at her, confused and disoriented, Soonkyu’s words echoing in her mind, not getting any clearer with each replay.

 

Jooyoung looks at Jessica, and then at the rest of them, and then at Jessica again. His face looks frozen in an expression of disbelief. It’s been like this for at least five minutes now, Tiffany thinks. Not that she’s counting.

“I really didn’t think I’d see this when Taeyeon told me to get here immediately.”

“We didn’t expect to see h-her like this either,” Taeyeon says. Sooyoung made the mistake of calling Jessica ‘him,’ and Jessica almost took her head off.

Jooyoung glances at Jessica again and looks away, pinching the bridge of his nose like the sight of her gives him a headache. “And you really don’t know what happened?”

“I woke up,” Jessica says flatly, “and I looked like this. I didn’t do anything. I didn’t make a pact with the devil, I didn’t wish on a star, I didn’t want this.”

Jooyoung raises his hands as if in surrender. “Nobody is accusing you of anything, Jessica. We’re just—confused.”

“Yeah.” Jessica wipes her hand over her face. “Trust me, oppa, I think I’m the most confused here.”

“You can’t perform like this,” Jooyoung says decisively. “We’ll have to say you’re sick.” He pinches the bridge of his nose again. “You’ve done the choreography as eight before, so that’s not a big problem, but we’ll have to figure out who’s going to cover which parts.”

Jessica doesn’t say anything, but Tiffany can tell from her eyes that she’s unhappy about the thought, about being replaced, about not being able to be with them. She squeezes Jessica’s arm, a silent reassurance, the most she can offer.

“And – Jessica,” Jooyoung adds.

“Yes?”

“You cannot leave the dorm, okay? There would be hell to pay if someone saw a guy leaving SNSD’s dorm.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Jessica’s voice is hollow. “Don’t worry, oppa, I’ll stay here like a good little—I’ll stay here.”

Jooyoung looks sympathetic now. He’s not the only one.

“We’ll be back before you know it,” Tiffany says.

Jessica smiles, looking, for all intents and purposes, perfectly genuine. Tiffany wonders if Jessica was always such a good actress, wonders how she didn’t see it before. “It’s okay, it’s about time I caught up on some sleep,” she says lightly. “This is almost a blessing in disguise.”

“Keep thinking about it like that,” Soonkyu says. “Who knows, maybe you’ll wake up tomorrow and find yourself back to normal.”

Jessica’s mouth quirks up; she isn’t even trying with this smile. “Yeah, that would be better than a dream.”

Tiffany doesn’t know how long she can stand there, seeing Jessica trying to act happy for their sake, so she slips quietly back to her room and sits on her bed, the place where everything changed. She remembers how Jessica looked when she fell asleep, young and innocent and unguarded, curled towards Tiffany like she was subconsciously seeking warmth. She sighs, the sound echoing in the room, suddenly feeling terribly lost and lonely.

A soft voice cuts through the silence. “Steph, what’s wrong?”

Tiffany starts. Jessica is standing by the doorway, looking at her with a soft, concerned expression. Nothing, she almost says, but Jessica deserves better than a lie.

“You mean, outside of the obvious?”

Jessica frowns, but doesn’t make a move towards her. Tiffany wonders why she isn’t coming in and sitting down beside Tiffany like she usually does.

“I’m sorry,” Jessica finally says.

“Sorry?” Tiffany’s eyebrows shoot up. “What do you have to be sorry about? None of this is your fault.”

“Well, I did turn into a guy,” Jessica says with a wry twist of her lips.

“Yeah, but it’s not like you chose to. It’s not your fault.” Tiffany pats the spot beside her on the bed, and Jessica takes the invitation and joins her. Tiffany notices that she puts more distance between them than she ever did before.

“It doesn’t feel that way.” Jessica closes her eyes. Has her jawline always been so nice? “I feel like everyone blames me at least a little, even if they won’t admit it.”

“Why would they blame you?”

“Because I’m an inconvenience now, aren’t I?” Jessica says, with some bitterness. “You don’t even act like yourselves around me. Hyoyeon won’t say two words to me, and Yuri only had that one moment of not being awkward, and Taeyeon keeps staring at me. I just want to tell her I won’t turn back no matter how hard she stares.”

That’s not why she’s staring at you. Tiffany actually has to bite the words back. Jessica doesn’t need that right now. “You’re not an inconvenience, Jessi,” she says softly. “This is…not an ideal situation, obviously, but—”

“We’ll work it out?” Jessica supplies. “That seems to be your trademark phrase now.”

Tiffany wants to say something funny, or comforting, but somehow, “I think I got it from High School Musical,” comes from .

“High School Musical?” Jessica looks amused. “I haven’t watched that in years.”

“We watched it together, remember?”

Jessica’s expression is startlingly serious. “I remember,” she says quietly.

“We always sang the duets together.” Tiffany smiles at the memory. “You always let me have Gabriella’s parts.”

Jessica gives that wry smile again. “I guess I was always the guy between us.”

Tiffany isn’t sure what to say to that. She can’t keep her eyes off Jessica’s face; her features are on the delicate side, and she supposes that the term ‘pretty boy’ would fit her. Still, she looks—very masculine. And attractive. Definitely attractive.

And then it hits Tiffany that she’s alone in the room with Jessica, on her bed, and it’s – it’s Jessica, there isn’t anything out of the ordinary about that, except for how Jessica’s a guy now, and. She’s literally in bed with a guy.

“You’re doing it too,” Jessica says, a note of weary resignation in her voice.

Tiffany tells herself to snap out of it. This is Jessica. Jessica. There’s nothing to be uneasy about. “Doing what?”

“I make you uncomfortable,” Jessica sighs. “Don’t I?”

“You’re my best friend.” Tiffany keeps her eyes on Jessica’s. “I know this must be hard for you, but it’s – it’s not easy for me either. I just need some time to adjust, that’s all.”

“I understand.”

Tiffany takes Jessica’s hand. “You’re my best friend,” she repeats. “That won’t ever change, okay?”

Jessica smiles, and it bothers Tiffany that she can’t tell whether the expression is real or not. She’s always been able to tell. Has the difference in Jessica’s face changed that? What else will change between them?

“Okay,” Jessica says. “Okay.”

And Tiffany lets herself think that it really will be.