WOW. a while ago, around july(?), i joined an fb rp. i was one of the first members to join and i was considered a popular member. people wanted to socialize with me, which i found weird because i am a socially awkward person. i really only had one close friend it was the head admin. well, finally in september(?), an exo member joined (not finally but a member of exo joined) and they just refused to socialize with me. which set me off. i mean, i didn't think of myself as a goddess or anything. but he wouldn't even answer my pms, if he happened to answer them, they were short replies a day or two after i sent it.

he happened to be close to my friend. and apparently he thought i was "needy", "clingy", and a "face-chaser looking for a relationship". yes i admit, he joined as my (use to be) exo bias, but no i was not looking for a relationship. i wouldn't even describe myself as needy or clingy. maybe he thought highly of himself, because i admitted he was my bias a while back before he joined.

but honestly, that wasn't the case.

for some reason though, i let him get to me. he left the rp 3 weeks after he joined. forgot why.
he got to me. a person i didn't even socialize with, someone who i didn't really know, got to me.
i changed my whole roleplaying style. i felt that if i changed i would somehow, finally be accepted? i felt like if i were to ever run in to him again (yes he was a guy ooc) that i could actually impress him. wow, why i care