A/N: Hi all! I am still alive and still planning on finishing my other stories I just haven’t been in the mood or had the time to write for so long (you’ll see how old this is by the song mentioned).

Anyway I just wanted to give you something, two somethings that I wasn’t really sure if I was done with them, but I realised will never get any better :/

-Scimitar

Nerves

Wonshik gets nervous. Even now, after two and a half years of performing, right before he steps on stage he is flooded with the worry of what could go wrong. It started back during MyDol. Always the one to set the mood it was easy for Ravi to hide the flutter in his stomach. When all of the trainees were anxious it was easy for him to overlook the jitter of his own nerves, to brush off the looming stress because this was his dream and he wouldn’t let stage fright hamper his chances, instead he’d focus on lifting everyone else’s mood.

It was only when Hakyeon grabbed his hand before one of their last judgements, and he looked up to his friend’s warm eyes before looking down at their linked fingers, that he realised he was shaking. The slight tremor rippled through his body, unnoticeable to most, unless you were playing close attention.

N gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and smiled at him, “You’ll do great.”

Ravi smiled back, unable to give a coherent response but thankful for his friends assurance.

“I’m serious. I know you can do it. We will both make it to the end.”

“We?”

“Of course I’m going to make it.” N stated proudly and Ravi chuckled, “Now have faith you will too.”

And it was true. Both debuted with VIXX, proud and with the other right at their side. Hakyeon was always there to comfort Wonshik, to calm him before their performance and when the stress became too much, though the actions have changed over time.

Wonshik, with guilt, fondly remembers when they first learnt they made it. That night back at the dorm, soon after the others had packed up their things and moved on, he found himself in the bathroom, hugging N close while he cried. Their – now confirmed – leader was bawling over the loss of another friend, the guilt of surviving and the joy of making it.

Ravi remembers how small N seemed, curled into a ball and gripping onto him for dear life. He always knew N was delicate but his friend had never seemed so broken.

“Don’t leave me,”

“What?”

Hakyeon looked up at him, voice small, “Don’t go . . . I just can’t lose anyone else. I don’t want to be left behind.”

It broke Wonshik’s heart and it was then he promised, “It’s okay. I’m here with you, always by your side. You and I, always.”

Another memory that always brings a smile onto his face is thinking of their debut stage for On and On. He remembers freaking out. A million doubts looping through his head, Will the fans hate the contacts? It’s too much make-up, isn’t it? Oh God, I can’t remember the steps. I can’t remember my rap. It was his worst anxiety yet, brought out of nowhere and leaving him gasping for breath.

Hakyeon was by his side in an instance, dragging him into the bathroom and shoving him into the wall. “Snap out of it!” He shouted, pinning Wonshik to the wall by his shoulders.

Ravi could only gasp, quickly in another shallow breath of air before staring, wide-eyed and blankly at N.

“You and I remember?” Hakyeon said more softly, “It’s just us.”

Wonshik just stood there shaking while trying to register the words. N hesitated before leaning in. He stretched up and pressed his lips the Ravi’s, albeit awkwardly around their mikes and with Wonshik’s mouth parted like a fish and breathing deeply.

Wonshik was too shocked to react and kiss back, instead his gaze locked onto Hakyeon as he pulled back, eyes opening and blush obvious through the heavy layers of foundation. His leader had never been so beautiful, looking past all the make-up and into the nervous smile Wonshik could see how handsome he was, glowing over what he had just done. “‘Always by my side’ you promised.” Hakyeon whispered, a little nervously.

“I-I” Ravi floundered. It wasn’t what he meant when he spoke those words to N. He loved N, he was his closest friend, but loving him like that . . . That’s not what he’d been feeling all this time, was it? All the joy when they were together. The butterflies in his stomach when they touched and the need for Hakyeon’s warmth. He thought he had just needed human interaction, he told himself it was just that.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. I-I just assumed you felt . . . Never mind.” Hakyeon quickly babbled backing out of the room when he mistook Ravi’s silence

Looking at his friend Wonshik realised how much he needed Hakyeon. N was the permanent fixture in is life that kept him sane, like just now, and he couldn’t help but love him. Before Hakyeon could completely step out of the room Ravi lunged forward, cupped Hakyeon’s cheeks and, careful not to ruin his hair or make-up, kissed him.

It was a deeper action than Hakyeon’s tentative peck and when he pulled back he was breathless again, though in a good way this time. “You and I.” Wonshik confirmed.

Wonshik was so lost in his reminisce that he didn’t realise he was being called to stage. His name repeating off Hakyeon’s lips and fingers snapping in front of his face finally woke him from his reverie. Ravi’s heart leapt as he realised they were heading up to the stage, he hadn’t even left any time for his usually freak out period.

Hakyeon noticed the fear in Ravi’s eyes and pulled his chin down, forcing him to look into his eyes, “It’s no big deal, just you and I, surviving as always.” N then gave him a kiss, lingering longer that he should’ve, before turning towards the stage, “C’mon, babe. Error won’t perform itself.”

Word Count: 968