Yo! I’m Lee Hyukjae, but everyone calls me Eunhyuk. Why Eunhyuk you wonder? Well, that’s my stage name. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a singer. I’m the schools best dancer and quite popular. My dance buddies and good friends are Shindong and Donghae. Sadly both and my other good friend Siwon are all in a different class. Therefore I always sit alone somewhere in the back until break comes and I can go to their classroom to chat and dance with them. In between the breaks I listen to the teacher half of the time and study my classmates the other half. That’s why I’ve noticed something probably no-one else knows up to now. A secret even the involved people don’t know the whole extent of. I’m sure you want to know what I’m talking about. Go ahead then. Listen to my side of the story.

First day of school and I’m honestly not very motivated. I would rather continue my dance practice with Donghae than go to school, especially considered this nice spring weather. But I can’t so I just take my place in the last row next to the class prez. He’s alone, I’m alone so why not just sit with him. Besides there are only two other seats left and I know that Ryeowook and Sungmin are still missing. It’s better to let these two best friends sit as close together as possible if you don’t want to take part in their excessive discussions about why lettuce goes better with meat than rocket or how much salt you should add to a soup. They’re lovely boys, but sometimes a bit too girlish in my opinion. Speaking of them, they finally find their way to the classroom just as our homeroom teacher enters. The first lesson of our final year begins and after 20 minutes I’m already tired of listening. My eyes move around the room, going from one person to the next until I notice something from the corner of my eyes. It was short, but I’m sure Ryeowook just glanced my way. I wait some time, pretending to follow the teacher, to see Ryeowook glance again. He seems to be interested in something, because after a few minutes he does it a third time. Is he looking at me? Or is it something behind me… I shift slightly and lean forward, pretending to write something down. As reaction Ryeowook leans back. God bless, he isn’t looking at me. Though I like to be on stage, I hate it when someone stares at me too intently. Then, what is Ryeowook looking at? From his position he can only see the blue sky through the window so that can’t be it. What else is there to look at? The class prez? But why would he glance at him like that? I shift again to take a look at the seemingly interesting person. Kyuhyun just sits there and scribbles in his notebook, nothing out of the ordinary. He doesn’t have anything on his face either so I don’t get what should be of any interest about him. Unless… Ryeowook isn’t interested in something that’s out of the ordinary but the ordinary person itself. Wait. He isn’t friends with him, is he? I’ve never seen them together before. What could make him glance so much? Does Ryeowook want to be friends with Kyuhyun, but never had the courage to ask him? Kyuhyun isn’t exactly the friendly type so that would make sense, but honestly, if Ryeowook really wanted it I’m sure there wouldn’t be a problem. To ask someone to be his friend isn’t anything weird to do, so even if he got rejected there wouldn’t be any kind of problem. It’s not like he wants to ask him to be his lover. Or does he…?

I turn my head towards Ryeowook again just as the lesson ends. Damn it. Now I have to wait for the next lesson to start until I can observe the situation further. Donghae always is fast to get me out of this room to play and sure enough he emerges from the door before even half of the students realized they are allowed to chat. How he manages to get here so fast is a mystery to me, but I better not ask him about that or he sulks again and thinks I don’t want him to be here. You definitely don’t want that to happen or you have to deal with an unbelievably childish and clingy Donghae. So I just let him grab my wrist instead and follow him out the room to the basketball court where Siwon is already waiting for us.

After a long match with some of our friends I finally head back to my classroom. I almost forgot my previous discovery until I enter the room and see Ryeowook and Kyuhyun sitting with just my seat in between them, acting seemingly normal. As I make my way to the back, I start to feel a strange atmosphere. Though both are doing their own things, a weird tension fills the air around my seat as if their focus is on each other rather than what they are actually doing. I let myself fall down on the chair like I always do and the tension fades, never leaving completely. The teacher enters and I make myself comfortable so I can look at Ryeowook in a way he won’t notice. The lesson begins and so does my investigation.

The outcome is both frightening and exciting. As it turns out, Ryeowook glances at Kyuhyun quite frequently, but that’s not the only thing I noticed. The look Ryeowook gives him equals those I see when a girl glances at her crush. The longing and frustration in his eyes are unmistakable which leads to only one possible conclusion: Ryeowook loves Kyuhyun. As shocking as this is, I can’t help but feel a slight interest in this weird pair. It’s been some time since a love pair formed itself in our class and that’s always something exciting in this boring school life. This pair though is still a little too special so I definitely won’t interfere or even try to get them together, but I gladly watch the oncoming drama. All this leaves just one question. What does Kyuhyun think about Ryeowook? He didn’t show any reaction before so he probably hasn’t noticed Ryeowook’s glances, but the atmosphere that lingered around my seat when I came back from the break irritates me. It didn’t feel like it was caused by Ryeowook alone but both of them. Does Kyuhyun actually know about Ryeowook’s feelings and just doesn’t show it or does he have feelings himself?

I sigh softly. With my current knowledge it’s impossible to say something about Kyuhyun and it doesn’t look like I can get any information by just observing him in class. Maybe I should follow him a bit after school to see if that helps my investigation in any way. It’s kind of weird to even get such an idea when the question basically is if Kyuhyun is gay or not. For society this wouldn’t even be a question. Yet here I am thinking about a classmate who is gay and a classmate who is perhaps gay. What is wrong in my head? I guess it is a little too late to ask myself that question now. Let’s just see if I can find something out about Kyuhyun. Maybe he isn’t even gay and it’s all just a one-sided love that no-one will ever get to know of? Besides me that is.

No sooner said than done. After the bell signalises the end of the day, I quickly tell Donghae that I’m supposed to buy a few things for my mom on my way home and that he should go ahead. With that I should have enough time to see where Kyuhyun goes after school. While thinking about that I almost miss him going past me and hurriedly get my things. I follow him out of the building and further to the part of the adjacent forest. As I see him enter it, I take a look behind me before running to hide behind a big tree. I feel like I’m in a movie, jumping from tree to tree always anxious to not make myself known. It doesn’t go long though, because Kyuhyun soon stops and sits down, leaning on the wall of the school building. I can recognize the room above as one of the music rooms and almost shriek as I see Ryeowook with a person I don’t know in there. It’s not the fact that Ryeowook is with an unknown person, I’m sure I’ve seen him before, that surprises me so much, but the fact that Kyuhyun seems to know about this practice and even makes an effort to come here without anyone knowing. Does this mean he really has feelings for Ryeowook?

As I observe him further things get clear to me. His face is so peaceful when Ryeowook is singing and so full of hatred and jealousy as soon as the other person joins in. I have no doubt about this. Kyuhyun loves Ryeowook.

I hope I didn’t disappoint you with my side of the story. This seriously makes me anxious though. Not even in my dreams did I think of those two having an interest in each other. And I’m pretty sure no-one else does. It also seems like I’m the only person that knows about this as they are really taking care about camouflaging everything. Not even themselves know about the feelings of the other, but let’s face it, that’s not surprising. I just wonder if they can find a way to talk about this. Hopefully yes, otherwise I need to ask the teacher if I can change my seat with someone… This tension is going to kill me.  Why can’t you guys just say “I love you!”?