Struggling to press the door bell with his shaking finger, Namjoon still can’t believe he is where he is.


The first time he stood outside this apartment, his stay barely lasted ten minutes, but there has not been one night when he does not find himself wandering back to the green door in his tired dreams, wondering over and over again whether he should knock. Now that he is actually leaning against it, waiting for it to open while trying to catch his breath, it feels almost surreal.

Namjoon is panting so hard he misses the sound of footsteps reaching and doorknob turning. He looks almost surprised when Jin's face appears as the door swings open, as if it wasn't whom he was expecting.

"Namjoon? What are you...?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Namjoon pushes the wrinkled magazine in front of the confused Jin, but one glance and the latter knows what he is talking about.


The cover of the monthly Seoul's Stage reads a big headline about the next must-not-miss theater project, initiated by a renowned director whose name even Namjoon has heard of. But it was neither his name nor the quote in bold "raising undiscovered talents" that caught Namjoon's eyes, it was the familiar face with those warm amber brown eyes, standing out among seven others below the director's portrait.

"He got casted. HE ING GOT CASTED."

And that's the thought that made Namjoon dump his date, drop everything and sprint through the skin biting breezes to this very apartment, to press the doorbell and meet the person he has been avoiding for weeks.

"I..." The first word comes out sounding almost like a soft choke, so Jin pauses and swallows whatever emotions that are coming to his throat "I didn't know we still do the... friends... thing anymore. You don't seem like you still care."

"I care. I DO ING CARE."

And Namjoon meant to say that he is sorry, so sorry for not being there when Jin probably needed his support the most, for being such an , a coward, and that he beats himself up everyday because he just misses Jin so much; but once again nothing comes out of his gritted teeth.

Jin freezes at the words Namjoon has just yelled. For one second, his eyes flicker, with the same hopeful doubt as that night, when Namjoon closed the gap between them and their lips met for the first time.

But Jin blinks back. His eyelashes bat quickly as if he was trying extinguish the feeble feelings inside.

"Namjoon, you made it pretty clear that you don't feel that way about me."

"And I am here to tell you that I am the biggest idiot on Earth, because I care about you too ing much to even give a about what way it is anymore."

Namjoon's heart is pounding at an impossible speed in his chest, heat quickly rises to his skin and spreads across his face. He has never said those words out loud, even to himself, and his hands are trembling by his side because he can't believe the certainty in his voice.

Jin looks at him, his lips are slightly parted and his eyebrows draw a surprised arc above his wide eyes. But he still stays silent, his shoulders tense up with hesitance – Jin will not forgive himself if he makes the same mistake and gets his heart broken the same way he did one year ago. He is waiting for the sign and Namjoon knows it.

"Jin hyung, please"

Namjoon begs in his mind. And Jin must have read his thoughts again because the questioning look in his eyes softens. His eyes sparkle with hope and Namjoon is not going to let his hyung hold back that glimmering light again.

Namjoon takes a step forward, close enough that he can feel Jin's erratic heartbeat through his sweater, matching his own; but he wraps his arms around the latter's waist to pull their bodies even closer, until the only thing left to do is for him to press his lips against Jin’s.

And he does.

Their first kiss may have been messy and unplanned, but this time, Namjoon couldn't be more aware of what's he doing, of how his skin soaks up Jin’s body heat wherever they come into contact, of the softness of Jin's lips when he gently on them, of how Jin's hands slowly travel up his back and his long fingers wrap around the bare nape of his neck, and how his fingertips sink deeper into Jin's body as a response.

When they finally pull apart, Namjoon feels breathless, as if they had been kissing for forever. Jin's eyes are glossy with tears and his cheeks are flushing bright red. Namjoon swears his hyung has never looked more beautiful and can't help smiling at the thought.

Jin quickly withdraws his hands from Namjoon’s neck and covers his face shyly.

"Uhm... Do you... want to come in?"

Namjoon grins so hard he almost breaks his face.

***

Jin's apartment is not big, but the neatly arranged pieces of simple furniture makes the room look really spacious. Namjoon takes off his coat and sits himself down on the couch while Jin prepares some hot drinks for both of them in the kitchen. The wooden shelves in front of him are all filled with movie DVDs and scripts. There are several photos of young Seokjin in several acting costumes, and he had the sweetest smile on in all of them.

“Hey, here is some hot cocoa.” Jin walks out with two porcelain cups in his hands.

“Thank yoo… ACHOOO” Namjoon sneezes.

“Haha… quickly take the drink! You are cold.”

Namjoon cups his hands around the warm cup as he carefully sips on the sweet drink. He has missed this feeling, the childish glee of being taken care of by Jin.

“Uhm… so…” Jin starts, not looking at Namjoon, but his sweet voice alone makes younger boy’s heartbeat quicken.

What the hell are you supposed to say after you confess to someone? Namjoon fidgets with his fingers. He can see Jin’s blushing from the corner of his eye and his cheeks suddenly feels warm again.

“… uhm… that kiss” Jin continues.

“That kiss was awesome and I would love to do it again.”

Namjoon can’t believe the words that have just come out of his mouth. He literally stops breathing while Jin covers his flushed face with his hand. But seeing his hyung being all shy and embarrassed just makes Namjoon feel even more eager to explore those soft lips again.

Suddenly Jin turns towards Namjoon. The corner of his mouth slightly turns up and his eyes are different. His right hand holds on to Namjoon arm and the body contact instantly sends electricity up the latter’s spine. Namjoon secretly prays that his heart does not give out as Jin inches closer to him.

Jin pauses just when his lips are hovering above Namjoon’s.

“Let’s do it again then.”

Their lips touch briefly when Jin whispers into Namjoon’s mouth and the younger boy almost gasps out loud as Jin leans in.

Namjoon has a hard time believing that he was kissing the same person because this feels so different, so hot and captivating. Sparks fly as their lips move together, and everything except the two boys seems to be spinning out of focus. The sweet fragrance of Jin’s soft hair wafts around them and Namjoon can’t help thinking how y that is. His tongue traces over Jin’s own, wet and warm. The older boy sinks his fingers even deeper into Namjoon’s tensed-up arms as he slides his body closer.

Namjoon finds himself leaning agaisnt the couch’s cushion, his head rolls back as Jin kneels on top of him and gently grinds his hip down against Namjoon’s body. Part of him barely catches up with the speed at which they are going, but the other part feels like they have already been dating for months and he has been aching for this sensation of heat pooling in his gut as Jin’s lips trace invisible lines at the base of his neck. Hot breaths brush around his jawline and Namjoon lets out a soft moan. His hands cradle Jin’s face and urgently pull the latter’s lips back to his own. Namjoon is feeling way too hot.

Namjoon’s heart soars into oblivion as Jin’s hands goes underneath his shirt and slide across his body. Whenever he teasingly bites Jin’s lower lip, the lean fingers will slightly press into his muscles and his back will arch up subconsciouly at the delicious feeling of Jin’s gradually losing himself in their kiss.

Actually, of both of them losing themselves. Namjoon’s skin is buring, and his head is spinning even with his eyes tightly closed.

As Jin’s hands dangerously travel further south, Namjoon finds himself panting quietly into the older boy’s mouth. Jin’s half-lidded brown eyes lock with Namjoon’s, gazing down seductively as his hands trace the sensitive skin above the latter’s boxer’s band. Once again, Jin presses his hip down against Namjoon’s and this time, Namjoon can feel the hot through his jeans.

Namjoon gasps out loud. Sparks explode at the back of his mind as it goes white.

-ends of chapter 5-

*A/N: HAHAHAHAHAHA what you you guys think? I read all of your comments on the previous chapters and they all make me smile so hard my face hurts. I hope you all enjoy the little 'progress' Namjin gets. And thanks for the idea, I will write from Jin's POV at certain point... I currently have an idea in mind. :) 

And also thanks everyone for subscribing to this fic! I really didn't expect so many readers and this just warms my heart, a lot!