Mei’s shoulder tightened under his touch. Mei took a deep breath and turned her body to face the man. “Take the elevator to the tenth floor and ask for Luhan’s room.” Her phone began to buzz. Flipping open the phone, she spoke hesitantly in front of him, “I will be up in a minute.” Minseok reached for her phone, snatching it from her hand. He glanced down at the phone seeing the name Ross scroll across the screen and slammed it shut, ending the call. Mei let out a small gasp before locking her eyes on Minseok.

“I need to know now.” His voice was starting to crack as his anger slowly began to seep through him. She pulled the phone from his hands, “Go upstairs and I will be up to tell you everything in a moment.” Without another word, she slid past Minseok and opened her phone. He watched her walk away bringing the phone up to her ear.

With no other choice but to do what she said, he made his way up to the floor he was told to go and asked the nurse for the room. The room was spacious but had walls covered with equipment. The large window on the furthest wall looked out over the smaller wing next to their location.

The room had a nice television that hung high on the wall and a sofa pressed closely to a wall that held the window that span across the full surface. Minseok stared out the window as the darkening sun began to set in the distance. The colors faded bringing in almost a rainbow of blues and oranges across it. Wrapped his arms around himself he attempted to warm the chill he kept feeling. The room was uninviting and the thought of Luhan lying motionless wouldn’t escape his head.

“I always did like the view.” Minseok whipped around as the familiar voice startled him, “Suho?” Suho moved a few steps closer and dropped a bag next to the couch. “You knew everything? And I.. I still don’t know anything.” His grip tightened around himself as he became more and more enraged.

Suho stepped forward and wrapped his arms tightly around his hyung, "It’s Leukemia.” 

“I only found out a few years ago when I met Ross.” Suho stepped back, releasing him, and sat on the stiff couch, “Did you know he had to fight this since before he debuted? I found out that he needed a bone marrow transplant at that time. The disease makes it hard because you need an exact match. It is almost impossible unless a family member matches.” Minseok felt the anger seep from his gaze as it softened turning into a worrisome look.

Minseok found himself numb, his body not wanting to stand any longer. He sat on the couch listening intently. Suho watched him, debating whether to continue on, “They did though. They found a perfect match.” Glancing over, Suho watched as Minseok slowly exhaled, relieved from this news. “But it lasted for only a few years. The disease basically went into remission with him only needing his blood cleaned once until almost three years ago, when he needed to received another transplant. This time it came with complications.”

“Uncle Suho” an overly excited little girl with shoulder length black hair tied into pony tails over her ears, ran and jumped into his lap. “Sulli, where’s mama?” the young girl jumped down and ran over to the door, stumbling towards a Mei who was leaning against the door frame, “Ross dropped her off, he is in with the doctors now.”

Minseok stared at the little girl intently as Mei and Suho talked about what was going on. She looked so much like Luhan he was almost shocked by this. Sulli left her mother’s side and walked over to Minseok, tapping his leg slightly, “Hey mister, what’s your name?”

He smiled as he looked down at her, “Kim Minseok.” She smiled back with that same familiar smile he had seen all the time before. His eyes couldn’t break away from her as he thought of the probability of it being Kazunari’s little girl. “Mei is your mama?” The little girl nodded her head in agreement. “Who is you papa?” He braced himself for the answer he dreaded but wanted to hear also. She smiled widely, “Ross.”

The door opened and interrupted all conversations as they rolled Luhan into the room. Mei and Suho moved closer to Minseok as the nurses positioned the bed and worked on hanging the IV’s. The doctor appeared seconds later and approached the group of people watching silently in the corner. Sulli played silently with a small doll that she held since she had entered. Placing the doll on Minseok’s lap, she smiled at him sweetly.

The doctor held a clipboard filled with papers, “Looks like his body has stopped responding to the chemotherapy and the radiation would worsen the situation beyond repair at this point. The liver taken from Ross is shutting down. Luhan’s body is rejecting it, in short the transplant didn’t take. Right now, with his current conditions and status, he may not be put on the transplant list for another.” The doctor handed the board to Mei who read the title to herself, “Final Stages of Leukemia.”

The doctor slid his hands into his pocket, “We have explained it all to him and are waiting for Luhan to decide how he wants to proceed. We have given him something to make him comfortable for now so he will be asleep for the next few hours.” The doctor left the room leaving a deafening silence, only interrupted by the occasional beeping of the machines.

“Mama, is Uncle Luhan sick again?” Sulli tugged on Mei’s clothes. Mei bent down and picked her up, “Let’s get you home, sweetie.” Suho nodded his head, “We will stay here for the night.” Mei returned the nod.

The room grew silent as Mei left with Sulli who carried her doll tightly in hand. The night shift nurses were all who were left at the front desk. Luhan didn’t stir from his position. Suho sat on the floor against the couch, one leg extended while the other bent with his arm resting on it. Minseok lay asleep from exhaustion on the uncomfortable couch with a borrowed hospital blanket pulled over him.

Suho stared into the older man’s face as he watched tears fall from the latter's eyes even as he slept. Wiping the warm tears from his face he leaned in close to Minseok's face whispering in his ear, “He once told me it was a life well-lived only because he kept you by his side.” Suho kissed Minseok’s forehead before closing his eyes, attempting to think of better days.

The hours bleed into another as the room grew darker and more silent with not even the on call nurses making noise at their desks. Minseok had awoken and tried to fall back to sleep but at no success. He found it hard to stare at his Luhan in the face. His checks had become so sunken in and pale, it left only what looked like skin drapped over the frame.

Moving to Lughan's side he placed the right side of his head against the thick blue sheets. Luhan's hand lay inches from his face, unmoving. he lifted his hand which felt heavy at the mear thought of touching Luhan, placing it on top of the boney fingers and latched his fingers in the other.

He stared at his hand in Luhan's thinking many thing. Thinking of the past, their debut, he smiled as he imagined the fresh face Luhan next to him and the other members. Minseok's eyes hut as another tear burned through and rolled down his cheek, stricking the bed.

The hand twitched under his. "Luhan?" Minseok whisepered under his breath as he watched the other mans eyes barely open. "Minseok" Luhan swallowed hard leaving a rasp in his voice. "Water, you need water." Minseok fumbled for the cup and began filling it shakily.

He stopped half way and used two hands to hand it to him. He took a sip too small to make a diffrence and handed it back. Minseok's hand uncontrollably returned to where it was. Luhan's eyes slowly drifted to the gentle touch against the cool skin on his hand. He gave out a small smile before trying to open his mouth and utter words, "I want to see the stars."

Minseok vigorously shook his head no, "The nurses will kill me. " Pulling his hand out from under Minseok's he reached for the airtube running across his face and pulled it down.

"Please." Luhan begged Minseok with a reverent sound in his voice. He knew he shouldn't take him and he knew it was a bad idea but at the same time he never could refuse him before either.

Minseok help lift Luhan into a sitting position, the blankets tumbled off his chest into his lap. Luhan gripped the wheelchair next to his bed, the cold metal under his fingers. Minseok ran around to the other side of the bed pulling the wheelchair closer.

Stepping between the petals he raised, he wrapped his arms underneath Luhans legs and behind his back, Luhans arm rested around his neck as he allowed himself to be lifted off the small bed and into the chair.

Quickly grabbing the blanket from the bed he wrapped Luhan from toe to waist. The easy part was done.  Getting him out of the room would be easy getting in past the front desk would not. Watching and waiting until a nurse left this station to attend to a call of midnight snack, he took his chance to dash for the elevator.

Rolling past the all-white desk into the elevator positioned right in front of it, he barely watch the elevator door close as the nurse rounded the corner back towards the desk.

Not but a few dings and buzzes later the elevator arrived at the top floor. The chair made a weird humming noise against the carpet as he rolle dtoward the employee entrance to the roof. The door swung open to a set of at least 12 stairs.

"I am going to have to carry you."  he announced to the man who seemed to be dozing off a bit in the chair. Luhan nodded and reached out his hands. Minseok held him as he had before and took the steps carefully, trying not to trip. Collecting his strength he crossed a wide room to an out door sitting area with benches and wild flowers growing. The shades were vibrant even in the dark.

Placing him on the bench carefully first he slid in next to him. Luhan was already gazing up when Minseok sat next to him. "There are a lot of clouds tonight. I don't think we will see much." Minseok blurted out as he moved his head to attmpted to see between them.

"Minseok, I am not here for the stars." Luhan looked at the horizon where lights filled the skyline. "You know what I am most sorry I never did?" Minseok didn't like the way he Luhan was talking. His speach slowed. "What?" Minseok asked as his gaze drifted to his dearest friend.

"I am sorry I never told you how I really felt. After all I thought my actions were enough but that was wrong." Luhan shivered. Minseok wrapped his arm around the other man pulling him in close to block him from the cool breeze. "I never told you that you were the reason I stayed. I wanted to be with you even if it was only as a friend even if I wanted more and you didn't. Most of all that I love you." Luhan turned his head and with the most gentle movements Minseok had felt he kissed the older mans jawline.

Luhan placed his head on his partners shoulder seeking a closer connection. "I love you too." Minseok turned and and pressed his warm lips to Luhans forehead. Ice cold. He lifted his hand to brushe Luhan's hair from his face, exposing the white skin underneath turning a blue gray.

Minseok quickly held Luhan's body up and moved to kneel in front of him. "Luhan.... Luhan...Luhan!" he shook him hard. He watched as the other mans head rolled back then forward settling in a limp position. He pulled the smaller mans body aganst his and felt no breath as their heads rest against eachother.

Minseok sobbed into the clothes on Luhan's body. If Luhan hadn't been able to hear the answer he would never know, that it was always him., from the begining he never loved anyone else nor did he feel like he would ever again.

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Author note: An epilogue will be up soon.