Luhan gently slide from his position and placed his feet firmly on the ground. “Mei?” he called quietly as he glanced back to confirm the other man who was sleeping still.

She walked over to him swiftly helping him up, “Glad you are awake I was about to come get you up. Joonmyeon placed the bags in the car last night before falling asleep on the couch.” Gripping her arm tightly he pulled himself up and swallowed the pills she pulled out of thin air.

“We better get going if you want to make your flight.” Mei grabbed a small pile of clothes from the chair across the room and sat them beside him. “I will just gather the last of your things and we will leave right away.”

She made her way quickly from the room as he slowly moved to change his clothes, topping it all off with a hat and glasses to hide himself better at the airport. Joining Mei and the now awake Suho in the living room he left one last set of instructions to Suho, “In this envelope is something to look over carefully and get back to me when you know what you truly want to do, please keep this between us.”

He dropped the envelope on the table and moved towards the door opening it and motioning for Mei to go through first but not before pausing. He didn’t look back not because his body ached to turn but to look back at Minseok, it would be impossible to move on for him.

******

There was a silent click in the distance, Minseok ruffled his nose and began to gently rub the sleep from his eyes. Still groggy he glanced around the room rubbing his eyes, “This isn’t my room” Minseok mumbled to himself as he caught site of the shelves packed with games behind him. Luhan, where is he?

Stumbling to his feet he made his way to the living room where Suho stood shoving a few papers into his back pocket, “Oh, your awake already. I should get you home so you can freshen up for the day at least.”

Rushing to the door in hopes of avoiding the topic Suho pulled on the handle a moment to slow as Minseok blurted out the words he did not long to hear, “Where is Luhan?”

“Gone, forget him now.” And with that Suho simply stopped bringing him up. Minseok followed him out the door, watching him lock it as they left.

******

The days began to bleed into one another as the group tried to continue on. Shows, radio, dramas and movies alike were never the same.

They would all watch as roles made for their Luhan were filled with less talented actors. Their shows dynamic thrown off as Luhan’s snarky outburst were missed, but without prevail they pressed on. Interviews always ended with a Luhan question for the first few months but were soon marked off as even the company refused to comment on him.

Minseok had backed himself back into a corner as he began refusing drama offers and started forgetting to speak on filmed shows. He smiled and showed up to concerts getting a bit teary-eyed as the new arrangements of their songs always included him singing parts that were done by Luhan previously.

He began to distance himself from the group never going out with the fellow members no matter how hard Jongdae and Tao begged for him to go.

Minseok sat in his room on the second story of his parent’s house, his tablet in his hands as he leaned back into the cushions of a small couch against the window in his room.

The curtains flapped violently in the wind as the sky darkened visibly to Minseok who was staring out the window. The sheets of his sketch pad fluttered against his hand as he closed his eyes and pressed his cheeks up into the hard draft now sifting through the curtains.

Minseok smile grew as he embraced the thoughts of a storm coming through. Unfortunately with as quickly as it appeared it disappeared, the dark clouds fading as fast as his smile did. The sun peaked from behind the dissipating clouds and brought a bright yellow ray in through the window, hitting the palm of his hand as he stretched it out. Minseok glanced down at his note book just long enough to grab it and swing it against the far wall. A crumpled picture lay in a pile by the base bored showing an oddly shaped Luhan.

The desperate mans head landed in his hands as it has many times before. The quiet of his life that he had loved before had now become his torture as he thought of ways to just simply get a hold of their missing member. He lifted his head with a heavy heart and stared blankly at a silent Suho in front of him.

"I was starting to think you fell asleep like that, since you hadn't moved since I came in. " Suho smiled as he entered in further into the room. He moved in very close proximity to the man, enough that he was able to look closer at the older man’s face. Tear tracks graced his cheeks and followed through to a growing wet spot at the front of his shirt seeping through to his chest.

"What am I suppose to do right now? Watch you cry and keep quiet like the other two have been, hoping that you will come around." Suho brushed aside a defiant lock of hair that hung across Minseok's eye and rested on his cheek.

Minseok stayed quiet. He hated the thought that the members worried about him so much. He knew they cared but it always weighed heavily on his heart when they worried for him. He was their hyung after all, he was to give them strength, not the other way around.

"Minseok" Suho harshly remarked his name pulling him from his thoughts. "I wasn't suppose to use this unless it was an emergency. Since you have been like this for months and I don't see an end to it. It looks like I have no choice. “, handing Minseok a white envelope he sat down next to him and leaned back into the cushions.

A bit confused Minseok opened the envelope and slide a small card from it. Minseok smiled briefly as he looked down at a business card from Luhan's favorite local arcade.

"Turn it around" Suho mumbled under his breath. The card twisted in his fingers revealing a hand written American address on the back. Almost in a daze he looked at the card, analyzing the letters one at a time, "this .... This is Luhan's hand writing."

"You have had this the whole time!" Suho could hear the cold rough tone coming from Minseok. “You knew how to get a hold of him and you said nothing.” The angered man arose from his seat his body beginning to tremble as he thought more about this situation.

“And you know what is going on don’t you!” his voice was serious even more beyond some of the hardest moments they had been through before. Suho could see his hand clinch the card and ball into a fist. “Minseok calm down. Let me explain” Minseok turned and swung hard hearing the crack on his knuckles on Suho’s jaw.

“Now you want to explain!” he shook his fist and grabbed a coat from next to the door. “Where you going?” Suho forcefully mumbled as his jaw visibly throbbed. “Where do you think!” he mumbled as he slammed the door.

Losing his vigor as he stepped closer to the door, he began to feel bad for what he had just done. He could feel the card burn in his pocket as he took a taxi through the busy streets. His heart raced as he became more and more nervous reducing the distance between him and the counter until none was left. He stood and firmly looked the smiling woman in the eyes, “1 ticket for America.”

*******

When Minseok stepped off the large plane he felt almost home sick instantly. His heart raced as he passed through crowds of people, none of which seemed to recognize him. Grabbing his well worn bag he dropped his head and swiftly made his way out to the taxis stationed out front.

The sun beat down on him as he raised his head and took a deep breath. Stepping closer to a bright yolk colored taxi he slid in clutching his bag in his arms. "Where to kid?" the older man said in a horse voice. Minseok smiled at the words due to the fact he had not been considered a child for quite some time now. Pulling the card from his inner pocket of the light jacket he had been wearing he handed the address to the man.

The drive wasn't long but his heart seemed to pound to the rotation of the tires as he moved closer to his destination. Touching his soccer ball hanging from his phone that he had recieved for his birthday, he began to wonder what he was doing this for. For himself, maybe? For the group, some might possibly say. This time though he began to think on why Luhan did it, why he left? Was he really to marry and wanted out of the business. He didn't believe that any more.

"Were here." the man pointed towards a shop, "that will be $29.25." Minseok gritted his teeth as he looked down in a wallet full of yen. He had forgotten to exchange the currency for American dollars at the airport. His head raced with what to do as he counted out double the equivalent in yen, "I am sorry."

He threw the money into the seat and took off running down the closest ally to him. It was dark in the shadows between the buildings but he did not hesitate as he imagined the worst of what would happen if the man caught up to him.

His guilt ate at him as he breathed heavily leaning against the alley wall tucked behind a trash can. He waited for quite some time before he poked his head out from behind his shield. The alley was silent but as he glanced around he realized he wasn't sure exactly where he had run from. Walking in the direction he came from he moved out to the main road. Every building looked alike.

Minseok hesitated for a long time sitting on a bench glancing around at all the look alike buildings before he asked the shop clerk how to get to the address. The clerk was a thick girl in her 20s who smiled innocently at him before she slowly gave him simple directions.

"Two more blocks over, Xiumin" she smiled hugely before returning to work. This realization made him smile too, he was known in America also. He muttered thanks and moved on to the following block. He could see what he thought was the building the driver had pointed at, but it was locked.

Minseok pulled the address card from his pocket again as he glanced over his shoulder for the taxi driver who seemed to have left. It had an apartment number but no key code on it, leaving his only option to sneak in.

Moving out of sight from the door he waited for someone to return to the building. The sun slowly set as he missed a few times already attempting to enter the building. His faith in his speed began to dwindle with the sun until a familiar figure came from the opposite corner and approached the door. Mei juggled too heavy looking paper grocery bags as she took the keys from her pocket.

Pulling the door back she juggled the bags as man walked up behind her and held the door. She stabilized the bags and moved into the building. “Thank you, I almost lost them,” She turned to face the helper but no one was there he had already slipped past her and was making his way toward a flight of stairs. “Thank you,” she hollered again across the small lobby.

Minseok went straight for the stairs past the elevator knowing almost certainly that she would take it. He took his time to climb the stairs as he thought of what he was going to say when he did reach the door. His legs felt heavier and heavier as the muscles strained to reach the next step, until after glancing around he noticed he had reached the right floor.

He gripped the handle tightly pulling the door toward him and exposing the hall, “Thanks Mei.” Luhan stood in a door way in the distance waving to a Mei that walked away from both men down towards the elevators.

He stood frozen in the door way as he watched Luhan’s profile slide back inside the room, closing the door behind him. Minseok planted his body against the wall gripping his chest. He couldn’t help but think about the face he had just seen, it had nearly been a year since he left him alone at the side of his bed.

Picking himself up he stumbled down to the large wood door that separated them. The door was larger than he originally thought, after he approached it he stood with his arm raised ready to drop it against the door but to many thoughts ran through is head.

The wet warmth of his tears began to cover his cheek as he doubted that he could bring him back home. “Mei did you leave something?” Luhan spoke as he slide the door open revealing his ex-band member covered in tears. He stopped as the door continued to swing open. The shook froze him in place as he looked into Minseok’s red eyes.

With widening eye Minseok practically jumped into Luhan’s arms wrapping his own around his waist holding him tightly so that he couldn’t slip away from him again. Raising his head from Luhan’s shoulder he released his hands from around his waist bringing them up to the younger mans cheeks.

“Minseok…?” Luhan barely released the words through his lips when the older man pressed his lips firmly against his. The tears smeared between the both of them as he allowed his emotions to flow between them.