Review of I'm Always Your Best Friend by Natalie0330

1. Grammar: 2/5

There were a lot of awkwardly worded phrases and some simple violations of the rules of grammar. I just fixed a couple sentences I found in the foreword and first chapter.

In your foreword: 
Even though he doesn’t know my feelings towards him, I will still love him.
Fix it to: 
Even though he doesn’t know my feelings towards him, I still love him.
Take out the “will”. After reading it out loud you can tell that it sounds better.

In your first chapter: 
Cozy winds blows by, tickles my frozen cheek.
Fix it to: 
Cozy winds blow, tickling my frozen cheek.
Don’t end sentences with prepositions. It’s ok; most people don’t know that rule :)

Also:
Crows are never fear with winter.
Fix it to: 
Crows never fear winter.
Just taking out “are” and “with” makes the sentence seem less clunky. There are more mistakes but I suggest a beta-reader for that. I can totally understand that English might not be your first language but that’s ok! That’s what reviewers and beta-readers are for :).

2. Diversity of Conversational Structure: 4/5

Each character has his/her own unique voice. I like how you made it clear who was portraying what and how you describe the main character. It gave me a clear description of who I was while I was reading. The only minor things are your grammatical errors here and there. Just fix those, and you’re characters’ voices will be great!

3. Typographical Errors and Layouts: 5/5

The lines that separated each day/event helped indicate what was happening or when something new was happening. The font was easy to read and a good size. Everything showed up perfectly on my phone.

4. Story Title: 2/5

Your story title had a good idea behind it, but you masked up that idea with your grammatical errors. First off, if you can, you should change the title to “I’ll Always Be Your Best Friend” or “Always Your Best Friend”. The title sounds awkward and a little overused. Your story’s idea was not an overused plot line but your title makes it sound like it.

5. Description: 3/5

It seems like your description was more like your foreword. I think you should make your description into a couple touching sentences and put what you originally put into your foreword.

6. Foreword: 4/5

If I judge what you wrote in the description as the foreword, the “foreword” was really good. You hooked my attention and the gifs really helped. I’m just slightly grading you down based on the grammar.

7. Character Presentation: 4/5

I like how the main character is presented at the beginning. Just fix the grammar. I also like how you didn’t use “you”, which made me feel I was in the story. Sometimes, the character acts cliché in her thoughts. Overall, good job characterizing Luhan in the epilogue.

8. Conflict Distinctiveness; 14/15

It became pretty clear what the problem was from the beginning, which was obviously the wedding.

9. The Flow of Events: 8/10

The events had a distinctive flow but were kind of rushed. I understand this is a two-shot but you could have cut out some parts. For example, instead of 3 ex-girlfriends you could have had only one or two. I could moderately follow the story’s movement.

10. Setting: 3/5

The setting was a very overused "park" setting. I liked how you described it with lots of detail. The wedding setting, however, was rushed and awkward. You introduced the wedding scene with "Me and the other guests..". It would have been better if you led up to the wedding scene, instead of describing Luhan's past in too much detail. I suggest a beta-reader for that. 

11. Fitness of Twist in Story: 12/15

The twist in your story was slightly predictable. I could kind of picture the scene while I was reading. It reminded me of the Boys Over Flowers wedding scene. However, the last twist was something I definitely wasn't expecting. I predicted that the two would get together, but I like how you kept them as best friends and breaking the usual cliche relationship patterns.

12. Consistency of Content: 4/5

The content was consistent and easy to follow most of the time. I just wish you hadn't rushed certain scenes, like the wedding event.

13. Taste of Story: 13/15

It was one of the better Exo or Luhan oneshot/twoshots I've read in a while. It just needs a couple of tweaks!

Overall Score: 78/100

Reviewed by: julesishere424

Reviewer's Notes:
This was a pretty good twoshot. I've read a lot of Luhan and Exo fics but this one stood out. Overall it was a good read. If you ever need help with grammar, PM me. Thanks for requesting at World of Literature.