"Taeyeon-ah..."

It was Sunny. I wiped my tears and looked at her.

"I'm fine Sunny-ah, I just have cold." I smiled sadly.

"I didn't ask you anything..."

I know Sunny's trying to console me but I don't really need it. I don't need sympathy. I just want someone who'll listen and understand me. Sympathy makes me feel awful, but it's still a good thing I can lean on her, although she's actually smaller.

"Taeyeon-ah, wanna go to my place? Have some drink? I'll be inviting Yul too." She asked.

I just gave her a small smile, getting intoxicated won't help, it'll just make you forget for a night but in the morning everything's still the same. In fact it'll just add up to pain --- hangover.

I was thrown out of my trance when this ‘lil midget started dragging me. She might be a midget but I'm telling you she's hella strong.

We've gotten to Sunny's place and I was surprised when I saw Yul, already there with our drinks. I looked at Sunny weirdly.

"What?? I actually invited her even before I invited you."

We started drinking while talking randomly, we even took a picture. 

"So... How are you Taeng?"

Yuri started, seriously this time. I answered with another contradicting question.

"What do you mean Yul? I'm fine, can't you see?"

"You totally know what we mean, and no, we can't see that you really are." Sunny butted in.

I just sighed; I'm playing a losing game.

"I may not be for now. But soon I WILL be."

I made sure to emphasize will.

"When will that SOON be Tae?"

I just shrugged mindlessly. I didn't know it would click to Sunny's nerves.

"IT'S BEEN TOO LONG AND I DON'T THINK THAT SOON YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT IS GETTING ANY CLOSER. WAKE UP TAE, YOU CAN'T LIVE ON THE PAST FOREVER! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT WHILE YOU'RE STILL LIVING AND HOLDING ONTO YOUR PAST, IT DESTROYS YOU HERE, RIGHT NOW. IT'S RUINING YOU."

I stood up, harshly pushing my chair back. I got the soju and finished the remaining; I felt it burning through my throat, to my soul. And I stared right into her eyes.

"Tell me how?"

That was all I muttered, I knew that my voice would only fail me once I talk more. I felt my eyes sti