memorabilia - l u h a n
(noun) a random scattering of memories from a certain rainbow.

기억 — I
루한 1991-4-30
화요일

“Word.
Ball?
Dad.
M— mum.”

기억 — III
루한 1992-7-6
월요일

"Name?
Name...
Luhan."

기억 — VIII
루한 1996-8-15
목요일

“I made a friend.
She’s nice.
But she asked me why
I wasn’t wearing a skirt today.

I don’t know why she asked that.”

기억 — X
루한 1996-8-30
금요일

“My friend called me a ‘she.’

I told her that’s not nice.
She didn’t get it.”

기억 — XII
루한 1996-9-2
월요일

"I think my friend thinks I'm a lady."

기억 — XV
루한 1997-1-7
화요일

“I don’t want to go to school.
Everyone makes fun of me there.

Can’t I just
learn from books
by myself?

My imaginary friends can teach me more than Miss Wu can.”

기억 — XXI
루한 1997-2-17
월요일

“We learned about colors today.

They’re so pretty.

I wish I was all the colors.”

기억 — XXV
루한 1997-10-13
월요일

"Dad,

What's a 'circumference?'"

기억 — XXVIII
루한 1997-12-1
월요일

"Mom,

What are these blowy flowers?"

기억 — XXXIII
루한 1998-4-13
월요일

"Dad,

What's a 'Korea?'"

기억 — XL
루한 1998-7-14
화요일

"Mom,

What's a 'Sehun?'"

기억 — L
루한 1999-9-10
금요일

“Do you know what a thesaurus is?

It has all sorts of
weird
pretty words for colors in it.

Did you know that ‘purple’ can be ‘plum?’
And ‘blue’ can be ‘azure,’
and ‘white’ can be ‘opal,’
and ‘green’ can be ‘viridian.’”

There’s so many of them.

I think my favorite is the rainbow."

기억 — LV
루한 2001-11-25
일요일
 

"I take it back.

Sehun is my favorite color."

기억 — LXXXIX
루한 2002-6-7
금요일

"Sehun is gone.
Sehun is gone.
Sehun is gone.

So are the rainbows."

기억 — C
루한 2004-11-25
목요일

“I’m sorry, mom,
dad,
Jongdae.

I’m sorry
I can’t
get myself together
and I keep doing things
that make you
sad

but even though those things
don’t make me more
happy
they do make me
less
angry

and I need that right now.”

기억 — CV
루한 2006-7-7
금요일

“I wonder where Sehun is right now,
in the world.

He’s got to be somewhere,
right?

He didn’t stop existing
the second he walked
out the door
and into that stupid van
and away from my life.

Sometimes
I wish he did,
though.”

기억 — CX
루한 2007-1-1
월요일

"In love?"

기억 — CXII
루한 2007-6-26
화요일

"Gotta get to Sehun's house.
Gotta get to Sehun's house.
Gotta get to Sehun's house.
Gotta get to—

Who are you?"

기억 — CXV
루한 2007-8-9
목요일

“I wish
I remembered
nothing

and that everything
inside me
was dead.”

기억 — CXX
루한 2010-9-9
수요일

“Minseok.

Can you stop falling asleep on me
when we watch
my favorite movies?

Or at least
have the courtesy
to do it somewhere
other than
my lap.

…You’re ugly when you sleep.”

기억 — CXXV
루한 2014-2-19
수요일

“I thought…

I’ve been thinking, for a while…

What if you feel the things that I feel?”

기억 — CXXVII
루한 2014-2-19
수요일

"No.

Don't you come back to my head.

Don't you come back to my heart.

I can't remember you. I can't."

기억 — CXXXI
루한 2014-2-20
목요일

"Kyungsoo, huh?"

기억 — CXXXIV
루한 2014-2-22
토요일

"I like the way you look at me.

I like the way
that you don't even know me
and you still look at me

like I'm somebody who matters."

기억 — CXXXIX
루한 2014-2-27
목요일

"No, don't look at me.

Look somewhere else.

Look at the swingset—
the flowers—
NOT ME.
DON'T—

..., you looked at me."

기억 — CLIV
루한 2014-3-17
월요일

"hate this"

기억 — CLV
루한 2014-3-19
월요일

"hate this"

기억 — CLVI
루한 2014-3-25
일요일

“hate this hate this hate this hate this
hate this hate this
hate this hate this hate this hate this
hate this
hate
this
hate this hate this hate this
hate
hate
hate”

기억 — CLVII
루한 2014-4-1
일요일

“hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this hate this”

기억 — CLXVIII
루한 2014-4-8
일요일

"Who is Baekhyun?
Who is Kyungsoo?
Who is Sehun?

Who is anybody?"

기억 — CLXXIII
루한 2014-4-9
월요일

“I’ve decided
that I love you.

And I’ve decided
that you love me,
too.

And I’ve decided
that I’m glad you didn’t
stop existing
because then I would have never
decided these things
in the first place.

I’m glad you remembered me.
And I know I’m late,

but I’m glad I remembered you, too.”